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Nana

Friendly VS Flirty/Touchy

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Hey gals... So I have a BF and I am having issues dealing with the girls that come around him... For ex... a friend I guess you can say, has that problem where people get in your personal space... So when she talks to him she is all up in his space... It makes me feel awkward.... She randomly rubs his head and will say dumb things... Last time she got some lotion and rubbed it onto his elbows and as she did this she told him dont worry i got you as she smiled all big... I have told her that I dont like that but I feel that she kinda still does it cuz she knows it IRKS me... Then there is another girl that is married... She sometimes lets herself around the counter and has touched slapped his arm and kicked him in childish flirty way... She mainly does this when she is at the gym ALONE... When her husband is there with her... its just a casual HI BYE to him.... Recently she asked him WHY DONT YOU TALK TO ME ANYMORE.... IDK... I think I am probably tripping out over NOTHING but how would you guys take this??? Oh and we both work at the GYM... Hence me saying gym... and the first person is our manager... she is young too so yeah... THANKS LADIES.....

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I really don't know how it is to be in your position. That is more what my boyfriend has to deal with. A couple of our male coworkers(including managers) do try to flirt with me. Several regular customers have asked for my number and tried to flirt with me. Me personally, I try to not reciprocate and I never give out my number(even to my coworkers). Sometimes it is hard not to reciprocate because sometimes I don't notice I'm flirting back, or I'm just being nice, but the person is seeing it as flirting. Out of respect for my boyfriend I try my best not to flirt with anyone besides him. From what it seems like your boyfriend is trying to not reciprocate, especially if the one customer is asking him why isn't he talking to her anymore. From what it seems like you have the same feelings as my boyfriend, more mad at the individual trying to flirt rather than at your significant other. Obviously, you don't see him accepting the flirtatious behavior and you trust him. That's a good thing. As for the other two, just try to ignore it, I know it is harder said than done. Obviously neither of them respect you or him, they wouldn't be trying to flirt with him otherwise. The one doesn't even have respect for her own husband, the person she chose to marry. And it is obvious that it isn't just her personality because she only does it when her husband isn't around. My advice trust your boyfriend, there is always going to be people who are going to flirt. I've noticed that even the once and a while someone flirts with him, it doesn't bother me, because I'm the one he is going to wrap in his arms in a few seconds. He knows that his arms are the only ones I'll let wrap me up. 

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Last time she got some lotion and rubbed it onto his elbows and as she did this she told him dont worry i got you as she smiled all big... I have told her that I dont like that but I feel that she kinda still does it cuz she knows it IRKS me... 

 

I don't care what anyone says... rubbing lotion on someone else when you're in a relationship is unacceptable.

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I will agree with you that rubbing lotion on someone is definitely unacceptable, from the sounds of it though he wasn't rubbing lotion on her. Though I will say that him allowing her to rub lotion is a little too far my comfort, but I don't know the context so there could have been more at play than what was mentioned. Without the context I can't quite judge her boyfriend at fault. 

 

nanners210, I won't say you are tripping over nothing, there are parts of what you say that would bother many people. If I asked someone to stop and they didn't, I would be upset too. The flirting thing is just a part of life. There are going to be people who flirt with people in relationships, and though it is despicable, they're not going to stop. It is annoying and aggravating, but unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. You are completing in the right for being irritated. Above I was merely just offering an alternative attitude to your situation, not excusing their behaviors. 

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Not appropriate... but it is the guy's responsibility to establish these boundaries.  If he doesn't find it inappropriate.. red flag for your relationship.

With these women in your story, telling them yourself that you don't like their choices only challenges them.  It's a fun game to them.  It will not stop unless your guy stops it.  And if you're the only one advocating for change, you always will be.  And in that case, it's not you, it's him.

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