__Egirly__

Baby Daddy

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First off what are your opinions on the term "Baby Daddy" (if guys wish, "Baby Mama")?

Second, girls, would you date or marry a baby daddy? If No, what if he didn't just make a baby with any girlfriend but what if he was once married and was a loving father?

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Okay this might sounds really stupid.. but what's a "baby daddy"? Because here where I live.. we don't use that lingo "baby daddy"? I can only presume from the word.. it's a male parent with an offspring. Correct?

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eugene, youre so cute hahaha.

 

i dont really care for those terms. i would date/marry a guy with kids. 

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I personally think those two terms are hilarious. :) They just sound really funny when you say it out loud. lol

 

Usually like most guys, I'm wary of single moms regardless of their previous marital status. This is because there are many who are just looking for a guy for stability and who will raise her children for her instead of loving him for him. Also, they may have serious emotional issues as a result of the baby daddy's abuse or him leaving. But if she has herself together and was looking for a guy for the right reasons then I would definitely be with her. Her kids would also have to like me too. It would not work if her kids refused to see me as their father.

 

 

Okay this might sounds really stupid.. but what's a "baby daddy"? Because here where I live.. we don't use that lingo "baby daddy"? I can only presume from the word.. it's a male parent with an offspring. Correct?

 

Most of the time, it's specifically referring to a mother or father who had the child in question outside of a wedlock.

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I would generally not marry/date someone with a kid.  I would be willing to consider if the person met my principle dating standards.  They typically don't but it is not impossible. 

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I don't want to deal with no baby mama drama lol sorry :(

if he has a kid with another woman then he would obviously have to maintain some sort of relationship with her for the rest of his life and our kids would of course have to share their dad.

I don't know how I'd feel about that to be honest....

The relationship wouldn't really feel exclusive to me.
 

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The terms don't really bother me, I just think they are way overused. I would consider marrying somebody that already had children, but a lot of stuff would have to go right for that to work for me. If he had kids but had zero part of their life, then I wouldn't even consider marrying him. It would just be a huge red flag. If he was a loving father, his kids liked me, and their mom got along with me as well, then it could work out, but I'm not going to marry somebody just to deal with his rude ex for the rest of my life. I would definitely prefer to marry somebody that didn't already have children, mainly because it would make both of our lives much simpler.

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I have to agree with Lexia....Baby Mama=Unending drama+Mind games

If  he spent time with his kids and was a really dedicated dad I would still hesitate to enter such a relationship. What if his ex does not want you around her kid, what if she always wants more child support.... relationships are already complicated without a constant third party around. 

 

 

If he was divorced that would be a different  case depending on why he decided to leave instead of fighting to save his marriage because am not  a huge believer of divorce.

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I have to agree with Lexia....Baby Mama=Unending drama+Mind games

If  he spent time with his kids and was a really dedicated dad I would still hesitate to enter such a relationship. What if his ex does not want you around her kid, what if she always wants more child support.... relationships are already complicated without a constant third party around. 

 

 

If he was divorced that would be a different  case depending on why he decided to leave instead of fighting to save his marriage because am not  a huge believer of divorce.

Hehehe the rhyme made me smile for a whlie :) [mama =[drama] .. but to be serious again or serious note, it's true what you're saying Jada regarding the what if's you made. I really never thought or crossed my mind of dating a baby mamma [american lingo hehehe].

I personally think those two terms are hilarious. :) They just sound really funny when you say it out loud. lol

 

Most of the time, it's specifically referring to a mother or father who had the child in question outside of a wedlock.

And thank you mr Vince my man for correcting/helping me :) hehehe and you americans with your lingo :P Who's thinking or come up with these names in first place? We use to say in a proper way ;) ... like "a parent with a kid" or if its an adolescent.. we use to say "it's a kid with a kid"

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I wouldn't use the term baby daddy, and I sure wouldn't want to be a baby mama.  I'd prefer to say "This is my son/daughter's father.
Later, when I'm ready for marriage, I don't think I'd have a problem with being with someone with a child.
'

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It would not work if her kids refused to see me as their father.

 

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to call you out on that. Why should her kids see you as their father, especially if you come into their lives when they're older? Just because you love their mom, does not mean you automatically win their trust. I would much rather have a stepchild be suspicious of me and make me win them over than have them immediately accept me as their mother. It's indicative of an emotional instability in the child to quickly attach emotionally to the person one of their parents is dating, and it also places a huge burden on the relationship. You could easily become stuck in a position of - "Dang, this relationship is kind of sucking, but I don't want to leave because these kids really look at me as their dad and I don't want to hurt them." Far better for a child to hang back for fear of being injured than for them to jump into a parent/child relationship with arms wide open. To me, expecting a child to accept you as a parent before marriage is akin to expecting your partner to have sex with you before marriage. 

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I have to agree with Lexia....Baby Mama=Unending drama+Mind games

If  he spent time with his kids and was a really dedicated dad I would still hesitate to enter such a relationship. What if his ex does not want you around her kid, what if she always wants more child support.... relationships are already complicated without a constant third party around. 

 

The parent with custody of the child *is* entitled to reasonable support from the noncustodial parent based on their respective incomes. It's not bad for the custodial parent to expect the noncustodial parent to share responsibility for the child they created together. Also, if you're dating a guy who doesn't want to pay or tries to avoid paying his 17% then you are dating a loser.

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I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to call you out on that. Why should her kids see you as their father, especially if you come into their lives when they're older? Just because you love their mom, does not mean you automatically win their trust. I would much rather have a stepchild be suspicious of me and make me win them over than have them immediately accept me as their mother. It's indicative of an emotional instability in the child to quickly attach emotionally to the person one of their parents is dating, and it also places a huge burden on the relationship. You could easily become stuck in a position of - "Dang, this relationship is kind of sucking, but I don't want to leave because these kids really look at me as their dad and I don't want to hurt them." Far better for a child to hang back for fear of being injured than for them to jump into a parent/child relationship with arms wide open. To me, expecting a child to accept you as a parent before marriage is akin to expecting your partner to have sex with you before marriage. 

 

What are you talking about? Where did I say I expect her kids to see me as their father? I said that in order for a relationship to have a future, I would need the kids' approval because they are just as part of the equation as the mother. I can't just have the approval of one and not the other. If the child didn't approve of me, then it would be best for the relationship to end because it's not my place to get between her relationship with her kids. You sound like you're accusing me of trying to force my way between a single mother and her children. If that's the case, you're way off.

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Ugh, I grew up in the projects so I know this claptrap a little too well.

 

And as I've stated before, when it comes to dating/marrying, I just say "No!"  to single moms!

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What are you talking about? Where did I say I expect her kids to see me as their father? I said that in order for a relationship to have a future, I would need the kids' approval because they are just as part of the equation as the mother. I can't just have the approval of one and not the other. If the child didn't approve of me, then it would be best for the relationship to end because it's not my place to get between her relationship with her kids. You sound like you're accusing me of trying to force my way between a single mother and her children. If that's the case, you're way off.

You said, and I quoted, "It would not work if her kids refused to see me as their father." That sounds like an expectation to me. And I'm not accusing you of anything in regards to having a detrimental effect on the mother/child relationship, I'm simply pointing out a different way of looking at the issue. 

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I'm not sure, on one hand I guess I might be a little jelous because they would have some sort of connection with their child's mother, but I have seen really good single parents and think that if I found someone like that maybe I would marry them. Also depends on the child's mother, are they like talking bad about me to their children? Do they dislike me? I would want the mother to know that I am not trying to replace her as a mother or anything, and would even want to have some sort of relationship with the mother...or is that going to far? Maybe I watched too much Reba lol

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You said, and I quoted, "It would not work if her kids refused to see me as their father." That sounds like an expectation to me. And I'm not accusing you of anything in regards to having a detrimental effect on the mother/child relationship, I'm simply pointing out a different way of looking at the issue. 

 

I don't get how you came to that conclusion. It was a statement of fact, nothing more. There is nothing to suggest it is an expectation. If the kids don't like me or refused to see as their father, it will not work and I will respect that. That is in contrast to them liking and accepting me, therefore opening the possibility of a future together. That is all it means. I think you're reading too much into what I've said.

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I don't get how you came to that conclusion. It was a statement of fact, nothing more. There is nothing to suggest it is an expectation. If the kids don't like me or refused to see as their father, it will not work and I will respect that. That is in contrast to them liking and accepting me, therefore opening the possibility of a future together. That is all it means. I think you're reading too much into what I've said.

Fair enough :) I still have many problems with your opinion, but it is an opinion that you are entitled to have and arguing with you about it won't do us any good.

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The parent with custody of the child *is* entitled to reasonable support from the noncustodial parent based on their respective incomes. It's not bad for the custodial parent to expect the noncustodial parent to share responsibility for the child they created together. Also, if you're dating a guy who doesn't want to pay or tries to avoid paying his 17% then you are dating a loser.

Am all for paying your share of child support as agreed but I was actually talking of the ones who want more and more than what was agreed upon while always threatening to take you to court  regardless of whether you can afford it or not....And I agree,  I would never date a guy who doesn't take care of his kids...

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Am all for paying your share of child support as agreed but I was actually talking of the ones who want more and more than what was agreed upon while always threatening to take you to court  regardless of whether you can afford it or not....And I agree,  I would never date a guy who doesn't take care of his kids...

Eh as I've mentioned before, I work for a lawyer so I see a lot more of this stuff than most people do. Yeah, you get your odd parent who is out for vengeance but I'd say 8/10 times when a parent goes after another parent for child support it's because of a change of circumstances that warrants a change in the level of support. It's okay to fear the situation, of course, but you're a lot less likely to run into that problem than you think you are :) 

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Personally, I would not date or marry a man that had children from a previous relationship. When I get married and have children I want to be the one and only mother to my husband's children. 

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Personally, I would not date or marry a man that had children from a previous relationship. When I get married and have children I want to be the one and only mother to my husband's children. 

 

Amen. I know I'll be trashed for my principle of never dating single moms, but I could care less. I will not be a walking ATM for another schmuck's child.

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I will not date or marry a man that has a child. I do not want to have a broken family because I think I deserve better than that. And also it just won't feel exclusive to me. 

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I despise that term and I wish to never be called a baby mama nor will I disrespect the father of my children by calling him a baby daddy. Those terms have negative connotations that I will not promote.  

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