Michael G.

umm im leaving

24 posts in this topic

ive been on the site still on checked out on stuff, just been working har and havent been able to get on, but just im leavin the site cause i cant say im waiting till marriage any more, i let yall down, had sex and now i am not a virgin anymore, sorry yall, just stay awesome, one less standing against the dark side

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So I have to ask... no second chance? You decide to quite a whole journey after one mistake?

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Just from my own perspective... if you stay with this girl forever after... then it can be said you've only had sex with one person even if you did it prior to marrying her and that to me is of tremendous value. Either way, and whatever the circumstance, I wish you well.

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You don't have to leave just because you had sex, as you already know multiple people here have already had sex and are re-waiting.

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Hey brother, I do understand your position and I am sure you have your own feelings on the matter and I will not presume to know what they are. However I would encourage you to reconsider your decision to leave this site and more importantly your decision to not wait until marriage; even though you are no longer a virgin. It was a part of who you are and still can be a part of you if you want it to be. Cause there are plenty of us here who have made the same choice to 'abstain' after having lost our virginity and I am certain they would all unanimously agree that it was the right choice. 

 

-So as Kendra said: Consider giving it a second chance? Your choice

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Don't feel that you have to leave just because you've relapsed? If you want to try again and give yourself a second chance, go for it! Even if you don't want to give yourself a second chance, you're more than welcome to stay on this site!

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I saw that you are Christian on your profile...

 

- if you think that what you did is wrong, know that all humans are imperfect, and they make mistakes. That's totally normal. That doesn't mean that after one mistake, its game over. You're a Christian, and you were brought up to believe that God is all-forgiving. Going back to being celibate after making a mistake takes even more admirable courage than not making that mistake in the first place.

 

- if you are mentally okay with your actions, and want to repeat them, then that's also totally okay - I wouldn't judge you for it, a diversity in lifestyle isn't a bad thing. But if you really don't want to keep WTM from now on, and if you want to continue your lifestyle - i think you might feel left out on this forum, and I would totally understand your reasons to want to feel like leaving...

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i know just ya ill give it a few days thought but , like idk like it happened its what it is, i cant change that, i dont feel remorse, or condemnation, i feel different, liek i cant explain, i want it still but  i dont also, just have to figure it out for myself i guess, just know i always will love you guys no matter what, kendra u specialy, been there when i needed you, just have to take a step back i guess and reavulate my life

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Best wishes and take as much time as you need in reevaluation of everything. It can be a big choice to make with Waiting, so I pray for guidance for you.

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I would say about what everyone else said you are christian god forgives and if you don't feel remorseful then I don't really know what to say besides sometimes it's not what feels right but what you know what is right, the same goes for what you feel is wrong and what you know is. I would also say that most people want it but alao want to wait on this site. I know when i slipped up with purity i wanted it more but knew it was wrong, But either way I hope you find your way man I hope to see you on here some more.

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Waiting until marriage should be considered an ideal you should shoot for. Not everyone is perfect and it is pretty hard to do in this day and age so don't beat yourself up.

 

Instead, learn from your mistakes, what caused you to slip up? How can you fix it so you do not mess up next time you face a situation like this? This should be an opportunity for you to evaluate and learn. 

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Its clear Micheal......that your feeling some type of way...after the choice you made to have sex....and that's a good thing....I can see that a part of you still wants to possiblly give it another go & abstain...just as Jordan, Kendra, Selina & Dasboy have all said, you know whats right & wrong in your heart, & you know that God is always faithful to forgive.....If you decided to recommite to abstainence its going to be a bit more difficult know.....because you have opened the door to your sexuality.....And we're all here to help you on that journey....if you decided not to, that fact still remains......we will be HERE to be that light.....& hope......

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i see what you are all sayin and ya idk, thatss all i can say is idk, and failily a girl on top ofme changed my mind hhaha, just ya idk , life, and Garden i like u said have the two things, wanting to wait again and the other to go find women and go for it, so ya

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I wish you the best of luck Michael in whatever you decide.

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Also, Michael, I don't mean to put you on the spot but I am curious and maybe other waiters are curious as well but after you had sexual intercourse did you feel any different toward the girl like closer or have you felt different physically? I'm just really curious is all.

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I noticed that in your first post @Michael G. you said that you had let us down. But you are not supposed to be holding us up in the first place. The only person holding anyone up is God. We can and are supposed to lean on each other, but it is done together. Together. I can relate to you needing time, please remember to talk to God and listen to what he has to say. This just popped into my head as I was reading all the posts and I think everyone should watch this- it is a great representation of the things we face on a daily basis and how God is always there. 

Please let me know if there is anything I can do. We are here for you, to help you.

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If you decide not to wait a second time and also decide not to come back to the website, I wish you luck Michael, your not alone in changing your mind about WTM.

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Having sex is not necessarily a mistake or something you must be condemned for or need to apologize for (contrary to some messages).  You just hopped on the train of the rest of society.  Your normal.  WTM is still a choice, and when you see relationships not working out because sex does not guarantee happily ever after, perhaps you will reconsider.  WTM is a long-term goal.  Not waiting is not considering the long-term of life and marriage. 
 

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Good luck Mike! Don't be sad, life is not about one's virginity. It's about being lived! 

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Definitely take some time to think about it, since it sounds like you feel you need it. If you do end up leaving I'm sorry to see you go! Best wishes in the future and as many of us have said, we're here for you no matter what your decision is.

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you know very few times i cry, and i cried after reading all of these nice things said to me, only yall can make me cry like this, shoot, well just ya, like i dont need sex, nor do i crave it more then i did when i waas wtm,

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Having sex is not necessarily a mistake or something you must be condemned for or need to apologize for (contrary to some messages).  You just hopped on the train of the rest of society.  Your normal.  WTM is still a choice, and when you see relationships not working out because sex does not guarantee happily ever after, perhaps you will reconsider.  WTM is a long-term goal.  Not waiting is not considering the long-term of life and marriage. 

 

 

I agree it's not necessarily a mistake. I'm in the camp that if two people are 100% committed to marrying each other, and they have sex prior to the marriage, it's completely legit. I know that position isn't popular here... but I'd submit that even if you're having sex after marriage there isn't any guarantee the marriage will last. Though, in theory, there is a higher probability a marriage will last compared to a relationship in which both parties are completely committed to marrying each other later. So I understand people's strong stance against sex before marriage even when between two people committed to marrying each other later even though I don't personally subscribe to that stance.

 

While I would never do it, I still think it's not necessarily a mistake for two consenting adults to have sex even if they haven't committed to marrying each other as long as they are willing to deal with the potential consequences in the event they happen.

 

I think it's a mistake for two people to have sex if the woman is unwilling to get pregnant. If the woman isn't willing to get pregnant, she shouldn't be having sex because you can't ever guarantee pregnancy won't happen. Same with the guy... I don't think the guy should have sex if he isn't willing to deal with the potential consequence. So as long as both partners are willing to deal responsibly with the potential consequence of pregnancy, I think sex between two unmarried individuals is fine.

 

The thing about sex, though, is STD's are extremely common. And you can always get pregnant no matter how many safeguards are taken. When sex is done between two consenting adults, pregnancy results, and the mother's health isn't at risk--I find abortion to be a very irresponsible way to deal with the pregnancy. So this is why I agree with Stacie, as long as a few qualifications are made.

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We are here for you, Michael. Take whatever time you need to figure things out, but know that you are still welcome here! And if you do choose to leave, take our blessings with you for the road. You are a great guy, and we care about you. Be blessed!

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