luxorcairo

Who here aspires to marry a wealthy man?

83 posts in this topic

I do. Not in a gold digger way. I plan to go to under and graduate school. I WILL have a high paying job. Money is extremely important because without it i can do anything with my life. I firmly believe money can buy happiness. Id rather cry in a Lexus than on bike. Even my mom said that was a good goal. I don't want to be the main provider incase i lose my job. But my husband will have a CAREER not a job. Doesn't matter how much i love him love will not pay the bills! No security guard, retail worker. An engineer,professor, business man etc. as you can see, money is important factor in my choosing a husband. Im high middle class myself, so i won't settle for less. Its harsh, i know. I wasn't taught that money is everything. If you make under 40K, then i wont bother with you. In my life i don't want to struggle financially when possible. Who would want to live in fear of not being able to be financially secure? But ive gotta admit, im also a material girl. Can anyone relate.

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Well, of course no one wants to struggle financially and it's important to have the same views on money. But I also think we shouldn't hold another person to a standard we don't hold ourselves to. You say that you will have a high paying job yourself anyways. So why does the burden fall on your husband to be the main provider if you could already buy yourself many luxuries on top of the necessities? If he were to one day lose his job, would you divorce your husband? If so, don't you think for the sake of fairness that he should be allowed to hold you to the same standard in that he should divorce you if you lost your job? What if one day you have an accident that rendered you horribly scarred and your husband decided to leave you over that? Sometimes life throws curve balls unexpectedly no matter how much we plan in advance. One day, all your financial security could be lost for reasons outside of your control. If the litmus test for marriage was based on the ability to have a high income, then that is not a marriage I want to be a part of.

If you already will have a high paying job anyways, what reason would you have to require a high income in a spouse other than to afford you even more luxury items? Of course you should expect your man to work hard and help financially. But if his love and dedication to hard work isn't enough just because he doesn't make much then it sounds like you value money more than him as a person. Of course, you are free to make whatever requirements you want in a husband. I just happen to strongly disagree with them.

You know, this is a very sensitive issue for me and I'm sure many guys would agree. Society places so much pressure on us guys to be make lots of money and I don't think it's any more fair than how it pressures women to look a certain way. The end result in both cases is always the same: the feeling of worthlessness for not living up to society's standard. Even though it's easy to say to hell with society, I still worry that girls would judge me based on either my job or how much I make. Don't get me wrong, I would like nothing more than to be able to provide financial stability for my family. But I would hope that my future wife appreciates and loves me as a person and my willingness to work hard over how much I make. I would rather be poor and have the unconditional love of my wife than to be rich with a wife who was only with me for my money.

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I don't, my boyfriend is hardworking and has a heart of gold, but is a poor man. He does have a job, but it looking for a better and more secure one at the moment and as long as he actively continues his search, I'm happy. Instead of relying on a wealthy man to take care of me, I'm going to earn my degree and make my own independant living to help provide for my family. 

 

I also learn to be content, for sometimes the poorest people are the happiest. 

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Not me if it happens it happens, I plan on being wealthy on my own and being that Im very independent I dont plan to look to him for money.  Also its hard to find a guy that is humble and wealthy so I figure why bother I dont want to date a brat who always talks about how much his clothes cost or whining about which ferrari is in the shop, there are more important things in life to worry about.

What I do expect though is a man who is financially stable, has a career or is a business owner which is what I plan on doing; personally I wouldnt date a security guard either because we wouldnt have the same mentality for success it just wouldnt work ...now if he were to create his own security company then we can talk  ;)

 

You sound like my bestfriend I get what youre saying you just want someone financially stable to match your hard work and thats understandable, but it sounds like youre looking for more of a business partnership than an actual (love) marriage if its that serious (which is how most wealthy marriages are today) its your life live it how you want.

 

What I dont think is fair is when women (not saying you) require a man to make 6 figures when they themselves can barely get off the ground. My roommate was like that, a Single mom with no education but wanted a doctor SMH it is tough on men I feel bad for ya'll, you guys are required to make us money (shouldve given us girls our rights back then  :P ) j/k  but women dont have to work hard to make money if we dont want to especially beautiful women.  I have a fear of being poor too because of the way I grew up, that's why I work my butt off but I dont plan on putting that responsibility on someone else. 

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Nope, don't really care if he's wealthy or not.

 

I kind of get what you're saying to a point. I mean, if he was extremely poor, and I wasn't making enough money either, I might say we should hold off getting married until we could support ourselves and a family, and whatnot. But I wouldn't want to "not bother with him" if he wasn't rich. I could just wait until one of us was making enough.

 

Hopefully, we'll make a fair amount of money between us. As I've said already, I'd like a pretty big family, if possible.

 

xxx

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I kind of get what you're saying to a point. I mean, if he was extremely poor, and I wasn't making enough money either, I might say we should hold off getting married until we could support ourselves and a family, and whatnot. But I wouldn't want to "not bother with him" if he wasn't rich. I could just wait until one of us was making enough.

 

 

xxx

 

This is exactly what I'm doing. Right now my boyfriend although he has a job, isn't a very secure one and his paycheck mostly pays for the gas used to get to his job right now so he is really trying to look for a better one. He's been applying all over the place. As for me, I have my degree to tackle first. 

 

I for me, I'm not only waiting for sex until marriage, which for me, is super-easy, but also no marriage before I earn my degree and hopefully by that time he finds a better job which totally adds an extra layer because we really could get married anytime, but it wouldn't be our best interest to do so. Waiting for marriage to me, unlike waiting for sex, is really difficult. especially when I'm in a LDR (only two hours away though so it isn't that bad) since I just want to be with him for good, there are times when college feels like a barrier between him.

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I just want to be financially stable. If he lost his job, id have the money to keep us going and vice versa. I think money is up there in requirements. I want to travel, how can i do that with out more money? I don't want to be a gold digger. Of course i have to be attracted to him, but if he doesn't make much, well have to constantly worry about money. I agree woman should provide for the family also. But if a man has a low paying job, sometimes you're the one who has to work for family survival. I don't like that.

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    I don't care if he is or isn't wealthy. He does have to have a job to help contribute but I don't care if he doesn't make alot. My family is going through a financial situation right now and this experience has shown me that love is really more important than anything. If things were to really get worse at least I know that I have them by myside to go through tough times with. That's how I want my relationship with who ever I marry to be like. Money for me is important but it isn't everything..it could be here one day and gone the next.

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The best man I know is my father. He works very hard to provide for my family, and though he doesn't make much, he does the best he can as a small business owner. We make things work with less than $40,000. We have food on our table, clothes on our backs, our bills are paid, and sometimes, we even get to travel. Our family definitely has its financial struggles, and sure, some extra money would make things a lot easier, but if I end up married to a man like my father, I'll consider myself fortunate, regardless of his income.

 

Best wishes for those who hope to marry men of money! It is a nice idea, certainly, but not a necessity for me. I care more about the quality of his character than the size of his bank account. If I happen to find love with a man who makes a lot of money, then that will be a blessing; we'll have more to be able to give away.

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It depends on how you define "wealthy." I do not aspire to marry a millionaire (so I guess that implies no billionaires either.) But of course I aspire to marry a man who is very financially stable and can comfortably afford to support his family, especially since I do not want to work full-time when I become a mother. But he doesn't have to be super rich or anything. I'd say my mom is middle-middle class and my dad is upper-middle class (he had pretty wealthy parents, so it's mainly inheritance.) With that I had a very comfortable life - private school for 12 years, university and rent and living fees all paid for, etc. We did have to sacrifice some things though: this summer will be my first time leaving North America since I was 5 and we lived in Australia and New Zealand for several months for my dad's job or PhD or something. My parents haven't left North America since then either because it's just too expensive. But that's okay, I think. I want to marry a very financially stable guy way more for the sake of our children than for myself. I don't want them to go to public school, or have to suffer through student loans.

 

But I'm not shallow. Of course marrying a wealthy-ish man would be great, but it's not a quality that he must have, like loyalty, kindness, empathy, etc. I can't control who I fall in love with. But I won't lie: I would never marry a guy who is financially unstable. If I wasn't WTM, I would date guys like that, but I can't afford to date around and "have fun."

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You're greedy and shallow. And also a hypocrite. You want a high-paying job, the independence of being a working woman, etc., but you still expect a provider for a husband?

 

That is the one of the worst features of modern feminism (sorry about going off-topic). And yes, you are a gold-digger.

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@LFTO- I think that's a little harsh. I don't see how she's hypocritical since she's planning on having a high-paying career herself. Greedy and shallow? Maybe, maybe not. Money is obviously more important to her than for those that have replied, but there is probably a reason from her life for this. Some here, myself included, have either observed or experienced how love and happiness can be present despite financial difficulty. Maybe she just lacks this experience. My dad always made less than 40K, sometimes by a long shot, but generally we were happy, and I never saw much strain on his marriage. However, we were never able to do things like travel; we really did miss out on a lot because of finances. This was fine for my mother and for us kids for the most part; for my mom because all she ever dreamed to be was a loving wife and stay-at-home mother; for us kids because it was all we'd known and we were content with what we had for the most part. If traveling, having nice things and not having to worry about finances much (yes, we were happy but it'd be a lie to say there wasn't ever stress or worry) are important to her, than it's her right to hold the standard she holds. 40K isn't that high of a standard anyway.

 

I think the sensitivity on this issue is greater for many people than on other deal-breakers, perhaps because there's often a lot of luck involved with this and an extremely hard-working man may not be all that wealthy. Sure, she will probably turn down great men, men of character and integrity, men that would make great husbands and fathers; but won't we all do the same if we have requirements like virginity or a certain religion or a certain level of attractiveness, or any other deal-breaker?

 

@luxorcairo- of course you're free to have whatever requirement for a man that you wish. Keep in mind though that money can bring excitement, pleasure, comfort, and a lot of things, but happiness can certainly be had without it. Hopefully you will experience this at some point. Also, for most men, even ones that are financially successful, being successful carries a lot of pressure and stress. If your husband feels like he'll lose you if he fails at his career for whatever reason, I would imagine that would put a lot of strain on him. 

 

Just my thoughts..

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I'm not a girl, but since a lot of guys have responded, so will I. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting your husband to contribute financially. At the same time, though, I think anyone, man or woman, who wants to be wealthy should put the lion's share of the burden on themselves, not their spouse. I don't aspire to "wealthy" (the term is subjective), but I do want a fairly comfortable living. Due to this, I do want a wife with a job (I'd prefer a woman who works for other reasons, too, but I won't get into that now), but she doesn't have to make a lot. I guess my thought on wealth is that it's something to achieve on your own or as a team with your spouse and to expect it to come from. just your spouse seems kind of.....off to me. Also, I would suggest to not expect to marry a man who is already wealthy. Often times it takes many, many years to work your way up the ladder to gain a high salary. Given what you have already said about wanting to work yourself and only stating 40K as a number, I don't think you're sounding too crazy. I would suggest it's maybe a little high, but maybe not. I guess it depends on the cost of living where you live.

@IYlatthew-To your point about people who grew up without much money being okay with not having a lot, I think the opposite can be true. I never had a lot of money growing up and that makes me realize that I don't want to live like how I did growing up.

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You're greedy and shallow. And also a hypocrite. You want a high-paying job, the independence of being a working woman, etc., but you still expect a provider for a husband?

That is the one of the worst features of modern feminism (sorry about going off-topic). And yes, you are a gold-digger.

A professors average salary is 100k+ thats goldigger? I just want extra money what if i lost my job? I need money to fall back on if times are hard. Maybe you need to look at my posts before you post huh? I thought so. You see, idk what you want in life. But i know i dont want to sit on the couch all day. By my profile pic, i wanna go to egypt. You think 30K gonna get me there? No! Call me greedy, selfish. Maybe youre intimidated that i can be brave can come out and say this while youre still in the shadows. I adore the riches and nice homes and louis vouitton and channel i said it! So now its time for you to jump out of this post if youre going to critisize, understand? Thank you
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You're greedy and shallow. And also a hypocrite. You want a high-paying job, the independence of being a working woman, etc., but you still expect a provider for a husband?

 

That is the one of the worst features of modern feminism (sorry about going off-topic). And yes, you are a gold-digger.

 

I don't know if you're replying to my message because you posted right below it BUT NEVER SPECIFIED WHO YOU WERE TALKING TO.

 

If you are not replying to me...well it doesn't matter, either way your comment was DISGUSTING. Who the hell do you think you are? Calling someone greedy, shallow, a hypocrite? What right do you have to insult someone like that? Honestly I have never, ever liked you, but it's been a while since you made an offensive comment so I forgot why. Well now I remember. You're incredibly judgmental and rude. And as for your comment about modern feminism, this is not the first time you seem to have issues with women. Sorry to break it to you, but as luxorcairo proved (I think you were replying to her?) women are now allowed to have opinions (*gasp*), say what they want, have hopes and ambitions, have standards...do you want me to go on? There was seriously no excuse for reacting so harshly to her reply.

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LTFO, you're way out of line. While the OP's views may not be popular, it is what she wants in life and she's entitled to that just like us all. It's fine to disagree and debate, but lay off the name calling or you will be banned. Consider yourself warned.

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I can speak on experience about this topic a little bit.

 

You see, money isn't just for nice things. What happens if your spouse or children get injured or have some kind of disease, to prevent said disease from killing the one you love you have to have money. I have had health issues for years until very recently, it wasn't life threatening, but it did affect my life severely to the point I was not able to work at all. It was not cheap to pay for all of those treatments to.

 

So as a result, I only want to work in a field where there is guaranteed employment and I will make a large salary. When I have kids I do not ever want them to be in that position of having to live barely getting by, having to worry about putting food on the table, worries I have to deal with on a daily basis and still do! So as a result when it comes to a job I am a mercenary, people say that you shouldn't have a job just for the money, but I have always noticed that the people who do say that have lived very priviledged lives, never having a health problem asides from minor things.

 

As a result, what I am currently studying, I love it a lot because I will not have to worry about finances once I am finished. It doesn't mean to hate your job, I don't, I sort of grew to like what I am studying as time went on, but the security I will have is extremely nice and comforting. Much better than worrying about putting food on the table, having an empty fridge, having to pay for treatments, it is going to be nice.

 

I can understand where the OP is coming from, the entire world is run by money. If you don't have money you will not get far. The more money you have, the less worries you will have, you won't have to worry about food, health, shelter, or water. You will be able to be secured in those areas of life. You can buy healthy food, have money to afford treatments for a illness or an injury, and be able to live in a home as well.

 

That doesn't mean I am greedy or others who think like this, it's just the way the world works. I give credit to the OP to since she wants to have a high paying job as well. ^_^

 

 

Point is, the world is run by money, and if you don't have much of it, you have to be blessed by God to have perfect health because if your health goes away, or the health of someone you love, then it is going to be so difficult. I speak from experience in that department.

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Looks like both genders are answering this so ill answer too even though its ask the girls..

Money buys happiness, it buys life, and it buys a secure future. I will not marry a stay at home mom or someone who plans to, and I will not be with someone making under 40k a year, if I even decide to get married at this point.

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<p>Honestly, I can see where both sides are coming from. However, there's a world of difference between someone who wants a decent income for the necessities and in case sudden, unplanned expenses arise (say for medical bills and such, as Justin_Justice mentioned) on one hand...and someone who wants to spend their lives at the mall or at various luxury stores, frittering away the family income on frivolous items that aren't necessary for one's day to day living...unless you're deluded enough to believe them necessary. People in the first group I heartily agree with (from personal experience...if my dad wasn't the engineering manager at his workplace I can be pretty sure that all the medical maladies that have hit my family would've caused me to drop out of college and give up on my dreams of one day working in the bio-tech industry)...and women of this category I'd actually respect, since they'd have some maturity and practicality to their worldview (at least if they were willing and able to pull their own weight in any relationship they were a part of). On the other hand, seeing as I'm a heterosexual male, any woman who was drawn to me merely because "Oooooh, he's an engineering major...once he finishes college and gets hired, he'll be making bank. If I marry him, I can afford to buy all those cars and clothes and a big house, that I've always dreamed of...let's see if I can seduce him into shacking up with me..." would get immediately rejected. Perhaps this makes no sense to some, but to me, this shows the wrong kind of attitude towards me as a person and towards people in general...one where people are merely viewed in terms of their usefulness (i.e. as tools) and not as beings with feelings and such. All in all, I also have to agree with Tatyana (I appreciate her viewpoint on this matter): If a person wants a spouse who earns bank, he/she better be willing to at least meet him/her halfway. I'm not talking about fairness (not really sure if Tolstoy was right on this, haha), I just don't see it as the basis for a healthy relationship...or a lasting marriage, tbh (i.e a scenario where one of the people in the relationship is pulling all of/most of the weight, so to speak). Ultimately, I don't feel that money can truly buy happiness, it can create opportunities and open doors, since it's the means by which power is often measured and the means by which goods and services are valued and exchanged. Perhaps that's just my 26 year old self talking...maybe one day all y'all youngins will get me and the older members of this site...one can only hope, haha. If I can think of anything to add, I'll do that later, but for now this is 'two cents' so to speak.</p>

<p> </p>

<p>See ya on the flipside,</p>

<p> </p>

<p>Cyon Corell</p>

<p> </p>

<p>P.S.: My apologies ahead of time, if anything I wrote here was offensive to anyone. I've some bad experiences with gals who demanded the kind of wealth that they themselves couldn't make, due to the entitlement syndrome they had, either via how they were raised or some other reason. This thread brought back some of those bad memories. That's all...</p>

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@cyon i can see where youre comming from the spouse should work just as hard. A phd requires almost 10 years of school. Thats alot of work! Also i need to make my own money just in case theres a problem, divorce, etc

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That's always been my wonder about stay at home moms who go through divorce, they can't get a job after being out of work for years and spousal support won't allow them to live on very much at all, guess they never think about that or that they might need money someday if divorce or an unexpected death.

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Guess i need to start hanging out at the business department in college..jk! :)

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No, I don't now and have never aspired to marry a wealthy man. To me, people and relationships always have been and always will be more important than the trivial things money can buy. I now know this more fully than ever before having recently lost my father, I would give all the money in the world in less than a second to have him on this Earth healthy and alive.

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@MstrJosh

Some women just like to be stay at home moms/taken care of... I couldnt do it, its just not my thing.

 

I was talking to someone at work who brought up the topic of having a wealthy husband and she asked what we would do. I told her I would do a Kimora Simmons (start my own company) and would be working to make more money as well as creating organizations to help people instead of sitting at home all day on the couch, going shopping etc.  She looked at me like I had two heads and said "hell no if my husband is rich Im shopping and going to the spa"...to each his own but I would just get bored not feeling productive and taking care of the kids all day isnt going to excite me personally. As much as my husband would be my rock I gotta know I have my own back when crap hits the fan, also unfortunately (sometimes) men can become very controlling when they are the main breadwinners and I just cant have that.

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