RosatohisCecil

Greetings from a waiter with autism

31 posts in this topic

Hello there, I can't believe I didn't find out about you guys sooner, you can call me Fi or Fia. When I first stumbled upon your site, I knew you guys were not the average community promoting chastity for one thing, you weren't as preachy as the other ones and that you catered to everyone who believed in waiting sex before marriage and not just Christians or a specific denomination since there are other religions out there that also hold those same beliefs as well as the sound logic behind waiting that makes those who are not religious want to wait. I really like how you appeal to logic more than anything since in this day and age, faith alone isn't enough to defend your beliefs, I have to use the reasoning that God gave me whih is one of the things that separates the human race apart from the rest of the animals on Earth and makes us humans special and it is important to use it when defending your beliefs.

 

What is also great is that unlike many other sites, sex is encouraged to be talked about and is not something dirty, but rather just the opposite and that's why it should not be had with just anyone. Many people think that people who decide to remain virgins on a voluntary basis until marriage are not as educated about sex. You also don't bring down people who stumble and make the mistake of having sex before marriage as a "licked cupcake" or "damagee goods" and as a Catholic, I think forgiveness like that is important since nobody is perfect and the best one can do is do their honest best and hey, you can always bake new cupcakes or refrost them.

 

Anyways, enough of praising you guys, you probably want to know more about me:

 

Even before I started dating, I decided to wait due to my Catholic beliefs and since I just didn't feel like I could trust contraception to prevent pregnancy and STDs while I am trying to earn my degree (although I am on birth control, but for endometriosis symptoms and not to prevent pregnancy so that it can actually increase my fertility when I do decide to have children) and it just boils down with me wanting it to be special and rather focus on the more emotional aspects since they mean more to me than sex, infact, right now, I'm enjoying those more and I see no reason to rush into something like that.

 

I decided to join to maybe add to the diversity of this community since I am a 20 year old young woman with autism with a 23 year old boyfriend who also has autism as well who met in a geeky chatroom over the internet almost five months ago and have been together ever since. If we are still together and going strong when I earn my degree in about three years or so, we intend to marry. I don't know about you guys, but I just can't date if I don't plan to marry someone. As soon as I find that they aren't marriage material, I'll usually break up with them. Infact, I dated a previous guy who I met while LARPing who cheated on me because I wasn't putting out. At first I thought my current one was asexual, but it turns out he does have desires, he is just enjoying other aspects of the realationship too much and he wants me to be happy. He is a non-demnominational Christian and a virgin himself. Because he has autism like me, he is probably one of the few people who totally understands me.

 

Anyways, this may be an autism thing, but we both find waiting until marriage extremely easy. Although we want sex, we just don't really find sex as important of as other aspects. Right now, we find it more enjoyable to play video games than have sex and actually talking "nerdy" to each other. The most we ever do is cuddle on his couch or my bed and maybe make out occaisionally, though we do like to hug and kiss a lot. The most we ever gotten to was more like, somewhere between first and second base. 

 

One misconception about autism is that people with autism are asexual and never can form fulfilling relationships and marriage is out of the question and I could see why people might think that since our relationship is very chaste (I might add that unless he comes over to my house we rarely get any privacy since his room is basically an alcove in the living room so it makes it impossible, plus his cats are always watching us). But we do talk about sex a lot and although he is fairly conventional, he is willing to be a little bit adventurous as long as it doesn't involve chains and whips or tying him up and he is willing to go on a peanut free diet for me when we marry (and he is doing so now since kissing after he recently ate peanuts is a huge deal as well) so that I won't get an allergic reaction from giving him oral sex due to my peanut allergy. He also desires for children of his own as do I, but honestly, even if our future marriage ends up sexless, based on how happy we are together chaste, I think we'll do fine. 

 

I guess you can say a couple with autism has some things similar to a regular couple, but some things are also quite different too. Definitely feel free to ask me questions. 

 

As for me, I like video games, mostly RPGs like Dragon Quest and the older Final Fantasy games (before seven with the exception of IX and some of the spin-offs) and such, DnD and other geeky tabletop RPGs and board games, A Song of Ice and Fire (aka Game of Thrones) and several other medieval-fantasy novels, Lovecraftian mythology, and I also enjoy sewing and crafting and collecting video games. My boyfriend has a lot of similar interests so we do get along quite well. 

 

I still really don't know why I decided to sign up if neither me nor my boyfriend has any problems with self-control. I guess I mentioned adding to the diversity of the community by giving a perspective of someone with autism in a relationship with another person with autism.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks, again, I hope as someone with autism, I can add to this diverse community (seriously, I LOVE THE DIVERSITY HERE! I've seen so many other communities where girls are expected to fit a certain mold and let me tell you, I'm no Cathy Catholic). If you guys have any questions in regards to autism and relationships and how it is for two people with autism in love, feel free to ask me. 

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks, again, I hope as someone with autism, I can add to this diverse community (seriously, I LOVE THE DIVERSITY HERE! I've seen so many other communities where girls are expected to fit a certain mold and let me tell you, I'm no Cathy Catholic). If you guys have any questions in regards to autism and relationships and how it is for two people with autism in love, feel free to ask me. 

 

 

Welcome Fialily! We have another prominent member here with autism as well. We also have lots of Catholics and gamers here too. I think you're in good company with many who share at least one of your interests. You're right in that we do have a diverse population here on the site. I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I already saw her, Sophie, was it? I hope you don't mind me posting like crazy, I just have a lot to say right now and I did find a lot about what I was looking for, even if right now, waiting is just extremely easy for me, to me, its more me waiting for the right time to marry since right now, as much as I feel like I found my soulmate and even some of my high school friends are already getting hitched, I still promised to not marry until I finish my degree so I could be better equipped to provide for my future family.  

 

So for me my problem is more like "no marriage until I finish my degree" in addition to sex until marriage. It used to be a huge problem earlier in my relationship, but now I sort of mellowed out and I'm enjoying our courtship, but who knows, there may be times when my wait for sex AND marriage does become frustrating like as my friends start to marry before me. One of my friends is getting married in June and at first I was so upset because I felt like she was one-upping me, but I eventually got over it and now I'm happy for her since she waited as well. 

 

Just a question though, do people still hang around these forums after they marry? I mean, I'm sure they could still help give advice to other people as veterans sort of, but yeah, just curious. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey there, Fialily (in my head that sounds like someone saying "fire lily" with a southern drawl. lol.) Welcome! I'm single, but I know what you mean about waiting for marriage being frustrating along with the waiting for sex.

 

 

Just a question though, do people still hang around these forums after they marry? I mean, I'm sure they could still help give advice to other people as veterans sort of, but yeah, just curious. 

 

Well, this is a really young site, and most of the members and the new people that join are single. Many are in relationships, but few have already married. I only know of one member that got married while a part of this site, and he's around sometimes. There are a few others that joined already being married, and sometimes participate and offer incite/encouragement. Hopefully this site will only grow from here, and if so then I'll probably hang around if/when I get married, though I'd probably be less active.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually its pronounce Fee-uh-lily its a long story...

 

Anyways, yeah, people often forget that now isn't always a good time for marriage and sometimes it is best to wait until you finish your college education, get to know the person better, getting your finances straight, etc. which can totally add an extra layer to waiting.

 

Yeah, this site is young. I'm sure as it ages, we'll start getting some veterans. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are like an autistic version of me o.0 peanut allergies and all...

 

Anyways, welcome!

 

Wow, really? How so?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, really? How so?

 

 

WTM, Catholic, uber nerdy (video games, medieval fantasy, etc), won't have a relationship unless it leads to marriage, peanut allergies, sound logic. Just saw some similarities while reading through your intro :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the site Fialily! just curious, since you like RPGs have you played Chrono Trigger?? It's my favorite game ever haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yes it is!! tbh I could never really get into any other rpgs. they're not really my thing. but Chrono Trigger, somehow, is just an exception to it. meanwhile i need something to play during the summer, after not doing any gaming  except for casual stuff the past year for the sake of schoolwork...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hmmmmmm... well, right now I'm playing Retro Game Challenge for the DS, which has some awesome original games like Guardia Quest and Haggleman (which is kind of like Megaman in some ways, especially Haggleman 3) among others. There is a Japan-only sequel too (fifty bucks for 13 more games doesn't seem too bad, there are a few issues with some games that are text heavy, but there are guides online for them

help translate them)  

 

A fan-translation is being worked on for the sequel, but I feel like importing since I'm not a ROM person. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you, all I'm waiting for now is access to the Girls Only forums. I just have to wait for Sally to respond to my request. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Fialily, don't worry about having autism on these forums. I am also on the autistic spectrum and it makes connecting to others difficult at times for me because I have limited interests like video games, cartoons, and anime. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lovely to have you here! Great intro! You sound like such a great person. Best wishes for you and your relationship! Looking forward to chatting with you. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm the other half of your non-autistic mirror image on these forums.

Welcome to the light side (Because the dark side requires cookies, and I ate them all).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now