Matthew

Describe your social life

33 posts in this topic

Since it's safe to say the majority here are more introverted than extroverted, I thought it'd be interesting--and hopefully a little inspiring--to hear about everyone's social life. 

 

So how big is your circle of friends? How many really close friends do you have? How often do you hang out with people? What kinds of things do you do when you hang out? Etc. etc.

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I'm reluctant to describe mine, since it's almost nonexistent. Outside of family and the internet, I basically have one friend and a few acquaintances, and the acquaintances I have are through that one friend. I'm not even particularly close to this one friend (I've always had a hard time becoming close with people), though at times we seem closer than at others. It's kind of sad, but I knew/interacted with more people while in high school and playing baseball than I do now living on a campus of a university that has some 8,000 students living on campus and almost 30,000 taking classes. Despite regularly feeling lonely and like somewhat of a loser at my lack of a social life, I tend to go about my life in a way that maximizes my alone time and keeps my social life stagnant. I'm not sure why I crave being alone while simultaneously wanting to be less alone. When I do socialize, I tend to make people laugh and enjoy myself, but it isn't long before I'm trying to find a way to excuse myself and return to my own little world.

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All my 10+ friends are high school seniors that are graduating.. Leaving me alone next year!

Well my some of friends smoke pot, some regularly and some not, and I don't believe any of them are virgins. I hang out with them a lot, almost everyday and inside the group I am VERY outgoing and well... Insane. But I'm shy around people I don't know which makes it hard to meet new people, but when I'm in a group of friends I do the dumbest things! I won't go to lengths to describe them anymore considering 99% of you folks here would be absolutely appalled at what else goes on inside my circle of friends :DD

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I have one real good friend who I hang out with quite often and have for many years. I mostly just go to his house to hang out. I have a few people I knew from high school who I'll hang out with every once in a while. We'll sometimes go out to eat or play video games. I know a few people at my college (I'm a commuter) who I'm friendly with, but not really friends with. I probably wouldn't hang out with them often, if at all, outside of school or during a school-related activity. Also, I'll occasionally hang out with my one good friend's other friends and co-workers, but I wouldn't hang out with them if he wasn't there. I'm not too particularly social because I'm so busy with school and work. Even if I wasn't, though, it's probably only my one real good friend who I would hang out with more often. By extension that would possibly mean seeing some of his other friends more often, too, though.

 

Just as an added note, none of the people I hang out with are girls. One of the people I know at college is and that's it. But, like I said, I don't spend time with those people outside of school or school-related activities.

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My social life, or lack thereof, is basically stagnant. I have a few friends that I hang out with but it's not often. One of them is married with a kid, one works a lot and is usually too lazy to initiate anything, and a few have moved away. It's not that I don't want to hang out with people, quite the opposite, but I'm just always broke. I've been unemployed for a long time and going out and being with friends usually involves money in some way. I just can't afford to go out all the time. To make matters worse, my sister shares a car with me and she's always using it for work/school so I'm stuck at home most of the time anyways. It's frustrating and lonely because I want to go out and find new friends but I just have no money and barely have the means to go out at all. I often feel like our 20's is the most ripe decade for people to socialize a lot. Now that I'm closing in on 30, it feels like my opportunities to find available new friends get smaller and smaller. By the time I get back on my feet, everyone my age would be too busy with marriage and careers to want to be friends anymore. *sigh, such is life....

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Wow this is a really good topic, kudos for the replies already posted.

Me, my life at times seems to run in spurts.

So I live a bit, then I run out the door, next I'm "on the road" for 4 days, then I come home and try

to pick up where I left off.

So for me my social life is the same which makes it difficult to grow close with people.

I currently have one guy friend whom I'm reasonably close with.

I have a few acquaintances, folks within some church groups I volunteer with, and share and study with.

Something I would like to do more of in the area of friendship though , is dating.

Though of course good ol' fashioned Christian dating leading to a courtship, ya know!

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Interesting qestion... I am mostly surrounded by high schoolers, most that I have no interest in becoming BFFs with, so thats  a choice... haha... , however I do socialize with them a lot, and lead a high school club. It;s funny, I am usually shy but can be extremely outgoing and a leader by kind of pretending I'm someone else... I mean,  I am like this if it wasnt for my insecurities, etc, so I just try to ignore that. I also volunteer at a few places and am surrounded by mentors and patients and their families. I am surrounded by many types of people everyday, but do not have any really close friends other than the ones I have met on here (about 6 of youse :) ) -- so at the end of the day offline I feel alone. and in strictly social settings/apart from work/school, I usually only hang out with the deaf community at my Church and local deaf school, but this happens very rarely, about once a month at the most, and we just sit around and talk and play Bocce usually. haha

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Almost non-existent. I have autism, so that makes it incredibly hard for me to socialize. It's like people can sense something is off about me, even when I am acting close to normal. I had around 7 close friends in my early childhood but by age 13, the number dwindled. Since I was a pre-teen, I have only made one great friend in high school, one great friend in university, one possibly close friend at university (we'll see,) and maybe a non-close friend in university (I'll have to see about that too.) Socializing is just very difficult and painful for me. But I have 3 very close friends whom I consider my best friends, and my close friend in Montreal is coming to visit me in my home city in Vancouver in July. So it looks like I definitely have 4 friends.

 

And I have friendly acquaintances as well. Lots of those. But I wouldn't call them friends.

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It's better than before I think. I have two friends that I knew since grade 4. Ever since we all started college and some of us work we don't get to hang out much. When we do hang out we do some silly things like make up our own version of a song. They are WTM and hold similar beliefs to me. I made friends with about 7 other people from college. They have become really good friends but we all vary in age, youngest 18 and the oldest 40, some of them have jobs and children so it's hard to hang out all the time. We sometimes have sleepovers lol or we go out to eat/shop. None of them are WTM though so it can be quite difficult at times.

 

  I spend alot of time alone though reading, watching movies, or on the internet. This can drive me insane.  I hang with my younger sister too, which can be annoying or really fun. Or i'll just annoy my brother.

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Yep, almost non-existent. I used to have a ton of friends at high school: one very best friend, two or three other best friends, lots of guy-friends who I was pretty close to, lots of other girl-friends who I was fairly close to, and then I also knew at least half the people in my year well enough to talk to them. But then when I started university, almost all of my friends were going to different universities, including one of my best friends who moved halfway across the country. My "very best friend" and I had kind of drifted apart a little, and over the summer we barely spoke. Eventually, I would try calling her and she wouldn't call me back. I met her at university (she went to the same one but on a different course) after a few weeks and she didn't really want to talk to me and couldn't get away from me fast enough. She's stopped following me on Twitter, and didn't even send a "Happy Birthday" tweet or anything on my birthday.

 

So...I've pretty much had to start over with friends. I've made a few friends at university, but we're not particularly close yet. That'll probably take some time, but they're nice people. The only close friend I had outside of high school was a girl from the choir I'm in. We'd only really meet up once a week for the rehearsals, but we were pretty close. Now we're even closer. We're going on a choir trip for a few days and we'll be sharing a room then, but she's also invited me on holiday with her for a couple of weeks. So that'll be great! 

 

Oh, and obviously, I have some friends on here, too. You guys are awesome!

 

xxx

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I have no social life. Currently, outside of this site, I have no social life.

I can remember the last time I hung out with someone. It was back in December I think...I hung out with a classmate at Starbucks after class. I gave her my number so we could talk or maybe hangout some other time but she hasn't contacted me lol.

I don't have any friends (other than my wtm.org friends). I can count the number of acquaintances I have on one hand.

I have never had a lot of friends and I don't make friends easily. In high school I had 3-4 friends and a guess a decent number of acquaintances, and in community college I had 1 friend but she moved to another state to live with her boyfriend and doesn't contact me anymore. I have tried contacting her but she never keeps it continuing. I don't like feeling like I'm forcing people to be my friend. Either they meet me half way or they're not my friend. I don't believe in fake friends. I'd rather be lonely.

But I completely understand why I don't have any friends.

For hanging out, it doesn't really matter as long as we're comfortable and having a pleasant time. I don't like crowds of people my around age and I don't like being around a lot of noise, so that basically means parties and concerts are out of the question. I also tend to prefer one on one time. Sometimes I hate when a friend brings another friend along, especially when they don't let me know beforehand. I just had bad experiences in the past with always ending up the 3rd wheel. Do not want.

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@ Matt o' Buddy

@ Vince my Man

@ Jegsy Scarr

I feel you guys. And I can relate with all of you. So count me in your group.

@ Jegsy. Its really a horrible feeling when your closest friend don't even send you a happy birthday message nothing. Been there and got the T-shirt and don't forget the cap as well.. and the badge :P

I don't have any friends. My closest friend that I have in life is.. is my bro. I had "so called friends" but they was only good for nothing. After I realized they only use my kindness to gain something in life. They always borrowed my dvd's and fixed their PC's for them. After I found out they copied my dvd's behind my back and said the "Gena shop is closed" they hardly visit any more. I even helped certain "people whom I loved" and get the cold shoulder...

My best friend I had in highschool he turned out as a snob. We did everything. Where I studied architectural draughtsman [draftsman] he went into project engineer.. and since then.. he totally chanced.

But now, my life is all work work work. [workaholic] Gym my life gone. Studying. And when it comes to romance.. hehe whats that. Woman don't even look at me :P The only time I get to social is with you guys here at WTM. And I have really cool friends here at WTM and love you all [and you guys know who you are :D ]

So yeah that's the story of my life

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I have a circle of (hipster) friends who I met through the local steampunk scene. Two of them (an older couple) actually founded and run/ran (it's somewhat on hiatus) a steampunk club night every month, as well as various other steampunk, etc. events in the San Diego area. Other than that, there's the group of friends I made through my involvement in the sport of fencing (haven't gone there for a while though...need to get back into it, haha). Then there are my online friends (yes, I do go to sites other than this one, lol). I've actually met some of these people (way back in 2008 when I stayed at this ashram/monastery/magickal lodge for about a week, I got to meet some of the other members of this site known as 'The Veritas Society'...was a very interesting and enlightening experience to say the least...and it changed my life in a lot of good ways, tbh). Other than that, there's my best friend (who's also wtm). We started a company together, to get our sci-fi/fantasy stories and games (for Android at present) published/released and we're still working on getting it off the ground, as it's a shared dream/goal/vision of ours (maybe we can change the World for the better through it?) Anywho, that's all for me...

 

See ya on the flipside,

 

Cyon Corell

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Ive always felt like i can fit into any group of people yet not belong to any of them.....I missed the last month of high school and vanished from peoples minds or something, they all got lives and forgot me. However my friends I had known on the computer since I was like 12 are still my friends today , I love the computer because I have friends scattered in parts all over the world ^^ , the people in real life all think I should be crazy by now and don't do anything, but I spend a lot of time just...visiting people on forums like this one and playing videogames with my closest friends while talking verbally on skype and just...loads of socializing on a computer. my 2 irl friends now are this fun old lady who sits behind me in church and my captain from air cadets, both of which are way older than me...I seem to get along way better with people who are older than me....

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Jegsy Scarr, Vince, Eugene, I can relate with you guys.  I have felt similar too. 

 

@Jegsy

I also drifted away from my best friend. It is also sad when they don't write or call anymore.

 

@Eugene

My best friend is also a member of my family...it's my sister.  Previously, although I'm kinda embarrassed  to admit this, my best friend was my dog.

 

@Vince

  I can relate with being unemployed, broke, and staying at home.  One of these days, I'll have to come visit you.  We can do something fun.   Ironically, your feeling about your 20s being a good time for people to socialize alot, I had a similar feeling when I was in college.  It appeared to me that college was a time for searching to find out who you really are. After all, I noticed that the people around me appeared to being doing just that. On the otherhand, I was struggling.  I felt like I had a difficult time fitting in and just being "myself." In other words, I guess I felt seperate from what people might consider the "norm."

 

My social life:

   I don't have too many friends. I'm not antisocial; I'm just quiet and introverted. Although, the small group of friends I do have I am close with (e.g., my WTM friends, you guys rock!).  I am also part of a choir.  We play at different venues such as in churches and nursing homes.

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My social life kinda sucks at the moment  Before I was a workaholic student traveling and I loved it, Im usually a lively fun outgoing wild person every now and then.

 I've lost a couple of friendships along the way they showed their true colors, and I kicked em to the curb. I found out one of my "friends"  was really a selfish C**t (I normally dont use that distasteful word but its appropriate for her  ^_^ ) Gosh peoples true character really surprises and disgusts me.

 

 Now that Im unemployed and finished with school (for now) I dont go out and even if I could I wouldnt want to, too many fake people. I dont hang out with my friends because I hate where I live,  no one wants to hang out with someone who hates everything and all of my good friends live too far away.

 

The last time I went out was with some friends at universal studios a couple of months ago and I just hated everything. Everything was the same, same type of people, same rides, same everything they were having a blast but for me it was like visiting grandmas on a sunday  they were talking about how much they loved it here and I just kept quiet.

 I had a workout buddy but now I just workout on my own to clear my head...I plan on going out on my own to go dancing maybe meet new people but I hate downtown so much and with me being reserved its hard to make new friends so I might just stay home :lol: 

A couple weeks ago I went out with Kendra and her friends that was fun :D​ but now Im moving and in a couple of months when I move out of this state I will be more social and outgoing, all the friends I make from now on will be genuine friends, Ive learned the value of true friendship. Unfortunately out of all my highschool friends the only one I keep in contact is with my best friend, we've had our ups and downs sometimes she gets on my nerves but I swear she is my soul mate.  And I have my WTM friends here love you all  :)

 

Its hard to want to be social out there when everyone is so superficial, yucky and transparent that type of behavior is why my circle of friends will always be small.

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What’s a “social life?†I only talk to two people who are not my family: my friend who I have known for 10 years and my doctor. I don’t know how to keep a conversation going, or how to start one with a stranger. It’s really awkward and almost painful for me to talk to someone I don’t know, especially if they want to make eye contact. Usually when people talk to me I just give a short, to the point answer, or I nod my head. I barely talk to strangers in MMO or MOBA games. 

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I actually think I'm more extroverted than introverted. I really like being around people, but I also like a certain amount of time alone to reflect on my life, and make sure I'm living a life that's centered around my values...

 

When I was in university, I'd say I had a more exciting social life than now - I joined various university societies and groups of people, and found the diversity of perspectives interesting. After university, I got my social needs by talking to people at my place of worship, and volunteering at different places. My work is also a place where I need to be able to get along with people, otherwise working with them for hours upon hours would be really unpleasant.

 

I feel like, if you ever want a social life, you can get it through opportunities like Meetup (www.meetup.com/cities/us ) , volunteer groups, university societies etc. I think its generally easier in university or in work environments where there's a social atmosphere, but I don't feel like its ever 100% impossible.

 

The main challenge for most people is (a) they don't genuinely want to talk to a lot of people, which is fair enough ( b )  they feel weird or anxious approaching people, which is hard, and I'd sympathize with that. The final reason that I can think of,  would be not wanting to socialize, because you think you don't have enough in common with people... but each person is totally different, and nobody's going to agree on everything. The fascination lies in the diversity for me :)

 

 I don't really think too much before talking to someone, its more like 'ooo he/she sounds interesting! i'm going to talk now and get to know them!'. I find that attitude of not  worrying, makes me a lot more at peace when socializing, but a lot more naive about gossip and negative opinions!

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@Selina-I think you make a good point about people sometimes figuring they don't have a lot in common with others. I sometimes assume that. Being in college, I often assume most students idea of a fun time is going out drinking, which is not something I do.

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I have an several cores of friends. My main one are my real life-friends which I have known for most of my life. I see/ talk to these people often, and spend time with them. My next core would be online friends, one I have really gotten to know and had a lot of good times with (mostly from online gaming). After that would be my university and work friends. These people I see often as well, but don't intermingle with the other two groups. I would prefer to be outside or just out doing something with these people than sitting I front of a computer.

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I have a handful of close friends and more acquaintances. I do not have a lot of friends but it is a large amount for someone who is as shy as me. I am very grateful of the friends I have now because I did not have any as a kid except for my sister who was stuck with me. lol I try to hang out with my friends whenever the opportunity arises but life is getting very hectic right now. 

 

I also have mostly female friends. Men are very difficult to talk to but I've been getting better so maybe I will have more guy friends after all. I would love to have that because guys tend to make me laugh often. 

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I won't go to lengths to describe them anymore considering 99% of you folks here would be absolutely appalled at what else goes on inside my circle of friends :DD

Am I the 1%?

My social life is mostly online. Almost all my friends live in different parts of the country with the exception of a handful who live about 40 minutes from me. So we hang out online playing games and such.

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Am I the 1%?

My social life is mostly online. Almost all my friends live in different parts of the country with the exception of a handful who live about 40 minutes from me. So we hang out online playing games and such.

You can be the 1%.

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