Sophie

Would you date/marry someone who's bisexual?

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I would date a woman who is bi-sexual, assuming what is meant by that is that she is attracted to both men and women, but chooses to be with men. Without getting too deep into what this thread has kind of derailed into, I don't think someone can really choose whether or not they are sexually attracted to someone when they look at them. So, as long as she chooses to be with men and is happy to be with me, I would date her. That being said, I do think it might take some time to adjust to it. For whatever reason, I just think it would feel strange for a while. Similarly, it might take some time to not be nervous that she would ever decide she needs to "experience" what it would be like to be with a woman.

 

If anyone is interested, I have another question. Would anyone here be with someone who is gay, but has decided that they want to live a straight lifestyle? For whatever reason (moral, religious, ect...) they believe a homosexual lifestyle is incorrect and there is no way they would ever give in to those desires, but nonetheless would like to be married (maybe for reasons such as not wanting to be alone or wanting a family or something like that). Furthermore, they agree that they would have a regular sex life with you even if they wouldn't particularly enjoy it. Additionally, this person very much enjoys your company and can envision living with you for the rest of their life, even if it's not the same as being straight and being in love with your opposite sex spouse. You, meanwhile, are in love with this person even though you know they're not able to feel the same way and this person fulfills all of your requirements and doesn't have any of your dealbreakers.

 

Personally, I don't think I could. On the positive side of the spectrum, one could argue that a gay person who absolutely refuses to be with someone of the same sex might be happier married to someone of the opposite sex than they would be being alone forever. Also, for the straight person, they get the benefit of being with someone they are in love with and who fulfills all of their requirements. But, at the end of the day, I think something about it would just feel fake to me. Even though as the staright person it would feel normal for me to be with a woman, I think just knowing she can't feel the same way about me would prevent me from really being happy about it. This carries over into the sexual realm, as well. I would get the physical enjoyment of sex with her and even the emotional enjoyment of having sex with someone I'm in love with, but I think it would ultimately be outweighed by the emotional disappointment that she could never really enjoy sex with me. She might like it in the sense that she likes making me happy, but she wouldn't really like it in the way I am. Also, I wonder if one can be or stay in love with someone who isn't able to ever fall in love with them. If that's the case, would the love ever really develop? If it can, could it last?

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Absolutely not and it's not because I'd be scared of "competition"....I believe being that way is a choice and I do not agree with living that lifestyle...just my two cents

Key word you used was 'believe'!! You do know homosexuality occurs at the same rate in other mammals as it does in humans?? Do you think a couple of male monkeys having sex, also just made that choice in the spur of the moment?... Or do you also 'believe' that mammals can't be gay? I mean seriously... Your sexuality is a natural thing. That's not a belief. That's cold, hard, scientific fact. So for me it wouldn't be a problem.

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I may write a lot here, so bear with me.

 

They were either never attracted to the same gender in the first place, or they're repressing their desires so as to avoid the stigma attached to gays. I can say I don't like women and that I'm gay, I could even live with a man and pretend that I love him like I would a woman. However it doesn't mean that I'm telling the truth, and it certainly isn't what I'd want to do. Why? Because I'm straight. I was born that way and that's not going to change, the same as it is for someone born gay.

 

 

 

I'm just going to interject here. You chose your religion? If God really was almighty and all powerful, if he really had created us and if he really had ordained everything that we can and can't do. Then surely there was no choice, it was a clear and obvious thing to do. 

 

Wait a second... Doesn't that sound exactly like what a person's sexual orientation is? A clear and obvious attraction towards one sex? Sure someone can have doubts, they might wonder if they are attracted to the other sex at some point, just as a Christian or a Muslim can wonder if they were meant to be a Buddhist or a Wiccan. However in the end they know what is right for them. It is not a choice. Religion is a choice, sexual orientation is not. 

 

 

Alright excuse my poor writing here, but there's so much to respond to in this quote and I can't be bothered to section it.

 

 

How on earth does humanity's level of technological advancement have anything to do with being gay or not? No one's said anything about gay's having children, it's fairly obvious to anyone that they can't conceive naturally. 

 

In Ancient Greece, homosexuality was normal. Spartans actually celebrated homosexuals, believing that if two men in the same unit were lovers. Each would fight twice as hard to protect and impress their partner. Many famous figures were homosexual as well, even Socrates was believed to be homosexual (though Middle Ages scholars contested this fact).

 

Straight couples aren't fighting for marriage rights because they already have marriage rights. Marriage had been in existence for several millennia before the dawn of Christianity, there are reports of monogamous relations stretching back to the stone ages. It's only in the last 2000 years or so that Christianity has taken hold and deemed it to only exist between a man and a woman.

 

The existence of a gay gene means that gays must be able to have children? I'm sorry but what the hell? Just because a gene exists does not mean someone's entire biological structure needs to change. If this were true then gays would be another species entirely. Although it sounds like they already are one to you.

 

I do believe you are mixing up feelings and emotions with social etiquette. It's perfectly okay for someone to be angry. It is not okay for them to take that anger out in public. And now you're mixing up free will and predestination into this mess. Do you even understand philosophy?

 

 

The reason for this perception of yours is that the world and especially America, operates on the assumption that everyone is straight. The world is confusing enough for a child already, especially during puberty. If a thirteen year old boy is gay and all his peers are talking about the girls they like, he won't want to seem different. He'll say a random girls name just to fit in, puberty is not a forgiving time for children. For that reason most gays come out when they're more confident in their identity as a person and are surrounded by a group of friends they know they can trust.   

 

Humans are animals, we have our own scientific name, biology and behaviours. Sure our technology might set us apart from the other animals. But to believe that that makes us more important than them is like saying the rich are more important than the poor. It's just wrong.

 

Why does someone need to be gay or bi to champion their cause? By this logic you are not God, so stop spouting his beliefs.

 

 

You say Dolphin and then you say animals. Dolphins do not fight to the death over women. Humans do. Shocker, I know. It's as if Romeo and Juliet wasn't a famous play, known all around the world as the epitome of tragic human love stories. 

 

Please do some research before you post, animals actually do have politics. In fact Dolphins have a very complex social construct that marine biologists are extremely interested in. Other social animals include ants, termites, meerkats, lions and birds.

 

Now to get back on topic (As whether it's a choice or not is hardly the topic, not to mention the animals). I'm going to say sure. As I'll assume that my wife is completely faithful to me. 

Man you beat me to it, I only saw one comment and I was experiencing the whole 'jaw drop' thing. Coming on these boards have depressed me. Anyone says that shit in England and they rightly labelled an uneducated, cretinous, bigot. I hate to offend Americans but it seems that attitude/ignorance is rife and acceptable in society. Talk about being backwards. This is why religion should stay out of schools because some people get an awful education and it's no fault of their own! People like that scare me though, wrapped in ignorance but fuelled with irrational hatred. Great post.

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No Bi no Ci no Di... if she's not straight she's not the one for me !! 

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My feelings on this matter are kind of ambivalent.

 

On the one hand, it would be highly hypocritical of me to say a flat-out "No." I am heterosexual. I do NOT identify as bisexual, in that, beyond choosing heterosexuality, I am really put off by the idea of sleeping with a woman. In addition, it is a lifestyle I cannot totally reconcile with my morals and religious beliefs. But I will confess I have experienced "girl crushes" before, and the thought of kissing a woman is actually kind of appealing to me. So obviously the potential for same-sex attraction is there, even if it is not wholly sexual. I think this has to do with me being something of a demi-sexual.

 

Too, my best friend is a male who identifies as homosexual. I have to be honest, since I do not judge him and he does not judge me, the dynamic of hanging out with a gay man is way more comfortable than hanging out with the typical hetero man. Bisexual does not equal gay, obviously, but I feel like there would still be less chest-pounding adherence to the stereotypical macho-man persona. Hearing guys score girls' breasts on a 1-10 and crack rape jokes got old quick for me. If a man is in touch with his feminine side, even a little, that's probably a good thing for our dynamic.

 

My favorite flirtation partner to date was a man who was, quite honestly, so bisexual that he felt compelled to reassure me he was NOT bisexual during conversation. Maybe he was just not bisexual in the same way that I'm not bisexual, Idk. But flirting with him was very creative and fluid and not stilted at all. It was a kind of uninhibition that was appealing, I suppose (which is maybe a laugh coming from a waiter . . .? Lol, I hope not).

 

BUT . . . but . . . but . . . I gotta be honest. As a waiter, it would be absolutely DEVASTATING to me to accept a bisexual partner--expecting, obviously, that he gets to be heterosexual with me for the rest of his life and LIKE IT, DAMN IT--and then find out that what I had really wound up with was a homosexual husband. I feel that is a real concern for waiters, women especially. I have heard more than one anecdote about a woman being "blessed" enough to find that man of her dreams, only to find out after the fact (and after many awkward and humiliating bedroom attempts) that he found it so easy to abstain because he was gay.

 

Other cons, for me: I don't wanna do with my man what most gay men do with each other (you know). I also don't wanna hear him whine and pine about it. Someone who identifies as bisexual is probably going to be a bit more sexually experienced than I would be comfortable with in terms of having multiple partners. I like a certain conservativeness. There is a difference to me, just having an appreciation of one's own sex versus a real desire to be sexual with them. Hetero- or homo- or bi-sexual, I'm really not about the free-wheeling free-love attitude. At all.

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No, it is not fair to anyone to date a man who does not know whether he is attracted to a woman or a man. I also will not be able to deal with his past sexual history even if he decides that he wants to be with me only.

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BUT . . . but . . . but . . . I gotta be honest. As a waiter, it would be absolutely DEVASTATING to me to accept a bisexual partner--expecting, obviously, that he gets to be heterosexual with me for the rest of his life and LIKE IT, DAMN IT--and then find out that what I had really wound up with was a homosexual husband. I feel that is a real concern for waiters, women especially. I have heard more than one anecdote about a woman being "blessed" enough to find that man of her dreams, only to find out after the fact (and after many awkward and humiliating bedroom attempts) that he found it so easy to abstain because he was gay.

 

Other cons, for me: I don't wanna do with my man what most gay men do with each other (you know). I also don't wanna hear him whine and pine about it. Someone who identifies as bisexual is probably going to be a bit more sexually experienced than I would be comfortable with in terms of having multiple partners. I like a certain conservativeness. There is a difference to me, just having an appreciation of one's own sex versus a real desire to be sexual with them. Hetero- or homo- or bi-sexual, I'm really not about the free-wheeling free-love attitude. At all.

 

 

No, it is not fair to anyone to date a man who does not know whether he is attracted to a woman or a man. I also will not be able to deal with his past sexual history even if he decides that he wants to be with me only.

 

While I believe everyone is allowed to have their own preferences when it comes to dating (even if they crush my little ego  :P ) I do think it is worth pointing out a few things. If someone is secretly gay and is looking for a beard, I don't see why they'd chose to ID as bisexual instead of straight. Afterall, they're equally lying either way, and it's not like being bi instead of gay has ever bought anyone tons of acceptance in conservative circles. Bisexuals are also not confused about whether they're into men or women; we're very sure that we're attracted to both. But being attracted to both genders doesn't mean we need to be with both of them; I'm attracted to redheads and brunettes, but I'm happily settled with my brunette boyfriend and don't feel that I'm "missing" anything by not being with a redheaded woman! Therefore, bisexuals are also not going to be inherently polyamorous, nor have we necessarily slept with other people. Just like I know people who knew they were straight or gay before ever even going on their first date, I knew I was bi before I'd ever kissed anyone. And BTW, I'm probably one of the most monogamous people on this forum -- I'm still with the person who was that first kiss, 6 long years ago. I very much hope that he'll be the only person I ever kiss in my entire life!  :D

 

Like I said, I think everyone is allowed to have their own preferences when it comes to who they date. That said, being bisexual is entirely involuntary; it has no reflection on someone's values, or past experiences. I think it would be very unfortunate for someone to miss out on a chance at love because of misconceptions about their prospective partner's sexual orientation.

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I wouldn't mind dating or marrying a bisexual person. Who cares if he's attracted to another gender, so long as he's attracted to mine? :P

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So I’ll toss out an unpopular opinion: I’m actually not sure I’d be comfortable in a relationship with someone who wasn’t bisexual. Or, at least, heteroflexible. Or, you know, really anywhere in-between straight and gay.

 

I studied human sexuality back in undergrad, so I’m fairly familiar with the Kinsey Scale and whatnot. I subscribe to the theory that the vast majority of people are not strictly heterosexual or strictly homosexual, but instead fall somewhere on the continuum. And maybe a great number of people fall pretty darn close to one end or another of that continuum… That’s grand, but I still count that as somewhere in-between. And all of this is not to say that there aren’t people out there who are completely and utterly heterosexual or homosexual. I just think that the vast majority of people are naturally somewhere in-between, even if only subtly.

 

So, if a man I’m dating swears up and down that he is completely, honestly, 100%, never-even-glanced-at-another-man-twice, gotta-be-super-macho-about-this straight, then I’m inclined to believe he’s more likely than not either in denial or just not fully in tune with himself. Again, big difference between that and basically, pretty-much, yeah-I’m-really-only-seriously-interested-in-women straight. The latter counts as on the spectrum in my book, but the former? I don’t know, that would just seem to me like the man’s too obsessed with adhering to strict gender roles or too afraid of damaging his fragile masculinity. Which is not attractive to me.

 

I don’t know, but that whole gotta-be-super-macho-about-this type just doesn’t float my boat. It just seems insecure, or too repressed, or I don’t know, something. I’d much prefer to be with a man who is confident enough in his sexuality to acknowledge where he falls on the continuum without choking on his drink if I ask him if he thinks Jeffrey Dean Morgan has a nice ass in P.S. I Love You.* I want to be able to have those conversations. I want to be able to watch Game of Thrones with my man and feel comfortable commenting on how holy crap, Khaleesi might be the sexiest person ever. I don’t know that I’d feel comfortable saying that in front of someone who is gotta-be-super-macho, never-even-glanced-at-another-man-twice straight. And if I don’t feel comfortable being completely myself in front of him, then he and I aren’t a good match, really, are we?

 

And I really don’t see my partner’s sexuality as something to be jealous over. Sure, maybe he’s attracted to certain body parts I don’t have. Is he content to stay with me anyways? Is he still attracted to me? Then we’re good. Bases covered. If I'm in a relationship and I'm constantly worried he's going to step out on me or something, then I take that to mean our relationship isn't very solid at all. I'd assume that there's a deeper issue at play there than what my man finds sexually appealing.

 

So, to answer the original question: yes. I’d definitely date a man who is bisexual. I’d also happily date a man who is heteroflexible. Or, hell, homoflexible. Or mostly straight. Or yeah-I’m-straight-but-I-find-some-men-attractive straight. But I probably wouldn’t date a man who claims to be 100% straight.

 

*I feel compelled to clarify that I usually don’t have RomCom references just laying around to sprinkle into posts. I just happened to watch that movie last night with my roommate.

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Yes(!) to everything you said above, especially this:

 

 holy crap, Khaleesi might be the sexiest person ever

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So I’ll toss out an unpopular opinion: I’m actually not sure I’d be comfortable in a relationship with someone who wasn’t bisexual. Or, at least, heteroflexible. Or, you know, really anywhere in-between straight and gay.

 

I studied human sexuality back in undergrad, so I’m fairly familiar with the Kinsey Scale and whatnot. I subscribe to the theory that the vast majority of people are not strictly heterosexual or strictly homosexual, but instead fall somewhere on the continuum. And maybe a great number of people fall pretty darn close to one end or another of that continuum… That’s grand, but I still count that as somewhere in-between. And all of this is not to say that there aren’t people out there who are completely and utterly heterosexual or homosexual. I just think that the vast majority of people are naturally somewhere in-between, even if only subtly.

 

So, if a man I’m dating swears up and down that he is completely, honestly, 100%, never-even-glanced-at-another-man-twice, gotta-be-super-macho-about-this straight, then I’m inclined to believe he’s more likely than not either in denial or just not fully in tune with himself. Again, big difference between that and basically, pretty-much, yeah-I’m-really-only-seriously-interested-in-women straight. The latter counts as on the spectrum in my book, but the former? I don’t know, that would just seem to me like the man’s too obsessed with adhering to strict gender roles or too afraid of damaging his fragile masculinity. Which is not attractive to me.

 

I don’t know, but that whole gotta-be-super-macho-about-this type just doesn’t float my boat. It just seems insecure, or too repressed, or I don’t know, something. I’d much prefer to be with a man who is confident enough in his sexuality to acknowledge where he falls on the continuum without choking on his drink if I ask him if he thinks Jeffrey Dean Morgan has a nice ass in P.S. I Love You.* I want to be able to have those conversations. I want to be able to watch Game of Thrones with my man and feel comfortable commenting on how holy crap, Khaleesi might be the sexiest person ever. I don’t know that I’d feel comfortable saying that in front of someone who is gotta-be-super-macho, never-even-glanced-at-another-man-twice straight. And if I don’t feel comfortable being completely myself in front of him, then he and I aren’t a good match, really, are we?

 

And I really don’t see my partner’s sexuality as something to be jealous over. Sure, maybe he’s attracted to certain body parts I don’t have. Is he content to stay with me anyways? Is he still attracted to me? Then we’re good. Bases covered. If I'm in a relationship and I'm constantly worried he's going to step out on me or something, then I take that to mean our relationship isn't very solid at all. I'd assume that there's a deeper issue at play there than what my man finds sexually appealing.

 

So, to answer the original question: yes. I’d definitely date a man who is bisexual. I’d also happily date a man who is heteroflexible. Or, hell, homoflexible. Or mostly straight. Or yeah-I’m-straight-but-I-find-some-men-attractive straight. But I probably wouldn’t date a man who claims to be 100% straight.

 

*I feel compelled to clarify that I usually don’t have RomCom references just laying around to sprinkle into posts. I just happened to watch that movie last night with my roommate.

 

You make it sound like a 100% straight person is homophobic. Why wouldn't I be able to think that a man has a "nice ass" without being sexually attracted to that man or his "nice ass"? Does me thinking that birds of paradise are incredibly beautiful make me some kind of aves-flexible? I think there is a key difference between finding (or admitting the possibility for) something to be aesthetically pleasing without being sexually attracted to it. Unless I am mistaken in thinking that sexual orientation is defined by sexual attraction....

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You make it sound like a 100% straight person is homophobic. Why wouldn't I be able to think that a man has a "nice ass" without being sexually attracted to that man or his "nice ass"? Does me thinking that birds of paradise are incredibly beautiful make me some kind of aves-flexible? I think there is a key difference between finding (or admitting the possibility for) something to be aesthetically pleasing without being sexually attracted to it. Unless I am mistaken in thinking that sexual orientation is defined by sexual attraction....

 

Are you familiar with the Kinsey Scale? Or any other studies that show sexual orientation on a continuum rather than as strict, inflexible categories? If not, then you might be misunderstanding my point. I define sexual orientation on a continuum, and I do subscribe to the theory that the vast majority of individuals fall somewhere on that spectrum in between strictly heterosexual or strictly homosexual. Now, as I see it, that in between can be as obvious as someone who identifies as bisexual and has relationships with both men and women, or it can be as subtle as someone who only ever has sexual or romantic relationships with the opposite gender, but acknowledges some tiny amount of attraction to some individuals of the same gender. I wouldn't call that individual 100% straight, and definitely not in the way I was referring to in my earlier post.

 

But, to your second point: It seems you think I was talking about Jeffery Dean Morgan having a "nice ass" or Khaleesi being the sexiest person ever as merely acknowledging that they are aesthetically pleasing. I was not. I meant "nice ass" as in attractive ass. Sure, you can find a bird beautiful and not include birds in your sexual orientation... but if you find birds attractive, then I think that would be a part of your sexual orientation, yes. There's a difference between beautiful or pretty and sexy or attractive. I think we actually agree on this point, but I think you just misunderstood my terminology, is all.

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I don’t know, but that whole gotta-be-super-macho-about-this type just doesn’t float my boat. It just seems insecure, or too repressed, or I don’t know, something. I’d much prefer to be with a man who is confident enough in his sexuality to acknowledge where he falls on the continuum without choking on his drink if I ask him if he thinks Jeffrey Dean Morgan has a nice ass in P.S. I Love You.* I want to be able to have those conversations. 

 

But what if it's not because he's insecure about it, or repressed, or something, and he still just shrugs and says, "Nah, I don't think I've ever been sexually attracted to a man"? Or someone who shrugs and says, "Nah, I see what you mean about Jeffrey Dean Morgan and his ass, but it's not really my thing" *sips drink*? There must be men out there who really aren't sexually attracted to other men.

 

xxx

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But what if it's not because he's insecure about it, or repressed, or something, and he still just shrugs and says, "Nah, I don't think I've ever been sexually attracted to a man"? Or someone who shrugs and says, "Nah, I see what you mean about Jeffrey Dean Morgan and his ass, but it's not really my thing" *sips drink*? There must be men out there who really aren't sexually attracted to other men.

 

xxx

 

 

And all of this is not to say that there aren’t people out there who are completely and utterly heterosexual or homosexual. I just think that the vast majority of people are naturally somewhere in-between, even if only subtly.

 

If he doesn't seem insecure, or repressed, or something, then I doubt he'd be classified as that gotta-be-super-macho, never-looked-at-another-man-twice type that I was talking about. 

 

Although, you know, I'm not even sure that that example wouldn't fall somewhere in the in-between, even if only slightly. How does he 'see what I mean' about Morgan's ass? In the yeah-I-recognize-that-as-society's-definition-of-attractive way? Because then I guess you're right, never mind my question. Or is it in the yeah-that-is-an-attractive-ass-but-I'd-never-want-to-do-more-than-acknowledge-that way? Because I'd say that fits on the spectrum. Either way, it's all good. You do you, and whatnot.

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@underthesun,

It sounds a bit like overthinking to me to try and figure out if simply recognizing a person of the same sex is attractive means you have some sort of sexual attraction (even if it's tiny) to the same sex. I'm not saying you're totally out of left field with your views, but I don't really buy it. Kinsey's research, in general, is far from universally accepted in the field (that's my understanding, at least). I can think of maybe a couple times in my life a man struck me as attractive, but I didn't feel like it meant I had a sexual attraction to him.

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I can easily say that both genders can be attractive, but also know that I have never been sexually attracted to a woman. I can admire features, and think "Wow I want to have that" without it being anything even related to me actually wanting that woman. They're two completely different things.

 

I'm comfortable enough to tell one of my close friends that she's gorgeous and her a** is looking good. But at the same time, I don't desire her or any part of her. Her looks do not excite me (which is implied with sexual attraction), as opposed to if I was actually sexually attracted to a man.

 

To answer the question though, I would not be comfortable dating someone who was bisexual. That's my personal preference, and there is nothing wrong with that, just as it is everyone's personal preference to have no problem dating someone who was bisexual. To each his own.

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@underthesun,

It sounds a bit like overthinking to me to try and figure out if simply recognizing a person of the same sex is attractive means you have some sort of sexual attraction (even if it's tiny) to the same sex. I'm not saying you're totally out of left field with your views, but I don't really buy it. Kinsey's research, in general, is far from universally accepted in the field (that's my understanding, at least). I can think of maybe a couple times in my life a man struck me as attractive, but I didn't feel like it meant I had a sexual attraction to him.

 

Waitwaitwait, I'm overthinking because I was responding to a question asked of me? Besides, it was an interesting idea; why must it be 'overthinking' to consider an idea one finds interesting? As I said, I took some courses on human sexuality back in college. I find the topic interesting and thought-provoking. Sorry if that means I overthink things.

 

From what I learned in those courses, anyways, most of Kinsey's basic theories have found more confirmation than contradiction from subsequent research. I named Kinsey because he's the most well-known, but there have been other researchers who have identified some sort of a continuum. Or maybe my college's program was misleading, I don't know. I don't claim to be an expert in the field; you might very well be right. 

 

Anyways, I didn't reply to this thread because I wanted to tell anyone what their orientation is or is not. I couldn't possibly presume to know that. And, frankly, I don't really care. You do you, friend. I just thought this was an interesting thread, and I wanted to share my own thoughts on the topic. I acknowledged that it might be unpopular when I posted it; it's never been my goal to force others to agree with me or start some huge debate. I just thought I'd share my answer to the OP's question. 

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You know, I think the confusion here is that we're all operating under slightly different definitions of the word attractive

 

But either way, maybe I should bow out of the conversation, now. I'm sorry if my sharing how I personally feel about this matter in any way offended anyone; that was not my intention. As I've already said, I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings, as others had before. I wasn't trying to put anyone on the defensive, and I'm honestly a bit surprised that that seems to be what has happened. Again: I'm sorry if I somehow offended anyone. 

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@underthesun,

My comment about overthinking was meant generally, not that you specifically are an overthinker. I think it's good to think deeply about topics, but to me overthinking can be when one keeps thinking about something to try and make a point that just isn't really there. I just don't see recognizing a man as attractive as meaning that I'm slightly gay. I think I would have to have a desire to be sexual with a guy, even in a small way, to be even slightly gay.

I don't think you've offended anyone, either, do no worries there.

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