Sophie

Would you date/marry someone who's bisexual?

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I think I asked this question way back in 2011. But seeing as we have so many new members, I would like some fresh answers.

 

I, personally, would not date or marry a bisexual. I've never dated before, so I don't know if I'd be a jealous girlfriend. But everyone has their moments of jealousy. I'd have to deal with my boyfriend/husband being attracted to girls...AND guys. No. Thank. You. I also once read some stuff on open relationships out of curiosity, and the vast majority of the couples were either bisexual, or one of them was. So again, I would be very worried that I'm not emotionally and physically enough for my boyfriend/husband because he'll miss men. Just way, way too much pressure. I would honestly never date/marry a bisexual. I feel obligated to say that no offense is meant and I would totally be friends with someone who is bi.

 

What about you?

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I wouldn't mind, as long as they're done with the same sex while we're in a relationship.

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No. I'd hope they were honest enough to tell me as well, I think that should be my choice whether or not I'd want to be involved in such marriage and it wouldn't be fair if that kind of information was kept from someone you're marrying. 

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I don't think I would.

 

Though....

 

Uh....

 

I did make out with a bisexual guy once. :blush:

 

Not my brightest idea, but then, there wasn't a lot of thought involved at the time.

 

That being said, he was an amazing kisser!

 

Yeah...  :unsure:

 

*Goes to hide in a corner*

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How else would our threesomes work? 

 

Totally kidding.

 

*Puts on serious face*

 

Hmm...never thought about this before. If I marry a girl, I'm trusting her completely. I will know beyond any doubt that she will never leave me or cheat on me, just like she'll know that of me. Would her being attracted to both sexes make it harder to trust her? I can't know for sure. I want to marry a virgin, which means she hasn't given in to her desires, for guys or for girls, so I think I might be able to be okay with it. You can't pick what/whom you're attracted to, I don't think. So if she's waited for me and she chooses to be with me and just me forever, then I think I would trust her commitment, her previous and present one. As long as she's really attracted to me. Of course I can't know for sure, but that's what I think right now.

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I'm going to have to agree with matt on this one. I think most of us are probably thinking it's already difficult enough to deal with your spouse being attracted to one gender as it is. A person who's attracted to both sexes is too much to handle. But what reason would you have to distrust someone if they haven't done anything to make you question them in the first place? Isn't that the standard we judge any other person who's attracted to one gender? All this assumes that bisexual people are dealing with a special kind of temptation and they are more susceptible to giving in than gay or straight people. I think that is an unfair sentiment when you consider that all of us encounter the gender we are attracted in our daily lives anyways. Also we have to think people who are in careers that are predominately the opposite sex. Are you going to object to your husband pursuing his passion in nursing just because it's full of women that could snatch him away from you? Some of you are worried a bisexual spouse might miss past partners of the other gender. Well, I'm sure guys wonder if their gf's think about ex bfs and vice versa. What's the difference?

 

It all comes down to trust. Can you trust a particular person as an individual? Just because a person's bi doesn't mean he or she is throwing themselves at any one they are attracted to. In all honesty, I think they can't help who they are attracted to. But I also believe they value commitment and exclusivity just like most of us. You're not going to stop being attracted to other people even after marriage no matter who you are. As long as you are secure that their heart belongs to you, what else matters?

 

I'm not saying your concerns about being with a bisexual person are invalid. All I'm doing is providing some insight for you to think about before you make a decision one way or another.

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Short answer. Yup. Cuz once we're dating, esp. Married, then I know he'll stay with me. Everyone still gets at least a little attracted to someone else at some time while you're with this person. It's deciding not to act on that slight attraction is what matters to me.

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I would I think

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Not a good idea. I dated a bisexual girl in high school. We had so much chemistry and honestly cared a lot about each other, but even though she was faithful, every sleepover, every vacation with friends, it just all brought unsettling thoughts into the back of my head. Also, we may not like to admit it, we do size ourselves up against our partner's past partners or those we deem as a threat. My security works when I stack up against another guy, but against a beautiful, charming girl? Nah. Not even a fair game anymore. 

 

We eventually ended up splitting because of different religious views as I did "change" on her as I grew in my faith plenty. It was humorous though when we would watch a movie and we would find out we had a crush on the same female lead lol. Ohh...high school. 

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Hmm, double the competition would be tough but as long as he was faithful to me it wouldn't matter. Here's a good question: what would you do if you found out your wife/husband was bisexual?

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I would. Matt and Vince cover the reason why I would. 

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I would totally date a bisexual. I'm afraid if I just said no outright that would be judgemental. And what is this talk about "competition"? If she/he is truly faithful then don't worry about other people taking your partner. If your partner decides to be with someone else then that's just God letting you know he or she is not meant for you.

I would love to sleep with my Woman. I would be devastated if she slept with another man while in a relationship with me. In all honesty though, I wouldn't be as hurt, I wouldn't feel as betrayed if she slept with another woman. I'd prefer she be honest and not go behind my back but her sleeping with another guy to me seems different than if she slept with another girl even though both are considered cheating. My view may be weird to some but it is what it is.

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Absolutely not and it's not because I'd be scared of "competition"....I believe being that way is a choice and I do not agree with living that lifestyle...just my two cents

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I wouldn't mind dating or marrying someone who is bisexual. As for polyamory and open relationships, that's a no.

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Yeah, I think I would. It'd probably make things a little more difficult, but I think it'd work out okay.

 

xxx

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Absolutely not and it's not because I'd be scared of "competition"....I believe being that way is a choice and I do not agree with living that lifestyle...just my two cents

 

the lgbt community faces a great deal of bigotry, hate, and intolerance...why would anyone CHOOSE to fall victim to that?

 

and to answer the question, yes, i would, as long as there is love and trust in our relationship i have nothing to fear.

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I believe being that way is a choice and I do not agree with living that lifestyle

 

Sorry to pry, but what if the bisexual person in question isn't 'living the lifestyle?'  Someone can be bisexual while being completely devoted to chastity or simply finding someone of the opposite sex and living a heterosexual lifestyle.  I actually don't blame anyone for being slightly leery of a relationship with a bisexual person, because we can be complicated.

 

I am bisexual with no strict preference for men or women, physically or emotionally speaking.  I find myself attracted to individuals, not genders.  There are generally at least two kinds of distinct bisexual: I'll call them A Group, and B GroupA Group can live quite happily and monogomously with someone regardless of their gender.  They're not attracted to both genders, they're attracted to either gender.  B Group, however, requires access to both genders to feel fulfilled--they are, by their nature, polyamorous.  Thankfully, I belong to A Group.  A relationship with a B Group bisexual can work, but only if you're...well...open to polyamory (something I, myself, find personally objectionable), or if said bisexual is very, very commited to monogomy. 

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the lgbt community faces a great deal of bigotry, hate, and intolerance...why would anyone CHOOSE to fall victim to that?

and to answer the question, yes, i would, as long as there is love and trust in our relationship i have nothing to fear.

It's a choice...ppl make choices all the time that ppl would respond to with hate, bigotry, and intolerance. If you choose something and you believe in it you will fight for it..ppl who are special needs or paralyzed or are born with a harsh/bad condition didn't choose to be with it and fight hard to overcome it every day but you are born with your gender and choose to oppose it or whatever the case may be. But yep it's a choice..think about this...why cant two of the same sex make a baby like two of the opposite. If it was meant to be that way it would've been from the jump..and I have no intention on hurting feelings but like you can get your belief out there..I got mine out too

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It's a choice...ppl make choices all the time that ppl would respond to with hate, bigotry, and intolerance. If you choose something and you believe in it you will fight for it..ppl who are special needs or paralyzed or are born with a harsh/bad condition didn't choose to be with it and fight hard to overcome it every day but you are born with your gender and choose to oppose it or whatever the case may be. But yep it's a choice..think about this...why cant two of the same sex make a baby like two of the opposite. If it was meant to be that way it would've been from the jump..and I have no intention on hurting feelings but like you can get your belief out there..I got mine out too

 

I do not believe what makes us horny is a choice. If I were to tell you, Egirly, that you being attracted to men is a choice you'd look at me like I'm an idiot and rightfully so.

 

When you tell someone who is, for example, gay and say that their being aroused by men is a choice, how do you think they perceive what you say?

 

If you want to say that giving into homosexual urges is a choice, I'll agree with you. But saying that one who is attracted to the same sex is a choice is just as absurd as me saying that you being attracted to the opposite sex is a choice.

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I do not believe what makes us horny is a choice. If I were to tell you, Egirly, that you being attracted to men is a choice you'd look at me like I'm an idiot and rightfully so.

 

When you tell someone who is, for example, gay and say that their being aroused by men is a choice, how do you think they perceive what you say?

 

If you want to say that giving into homosexual urges is a choice, I'll agree with you. But saying that one who is attracted to the same sex is a choice is just as absurd as me saying that you being attracted to the opposite sex is a choice.

 

I strongly believe in it being a choice. Attraction to the opposite sex was meant to be. Why can men not have a natural baby with ONLY the help of another man and the same for women.( No "special surgeries" or two gay men having a child by a woman or two girls adding male-you know- to get pregnant) I am a Christain and know for a fact that God did not intend on things to be this way. Matter of factly...He spoke against things such as these specifically and so i do not believe in it. That doesnt mean I hate homosexuals or bisexuals because God tells us to love everyone but i do not agree with their choice but do think strongly against it. Because of this i will not let the lifestyle not bother me because it does but i also wont be hostile...again this is a display of my beliefs not a hate message.

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