Invincible

What is your biggest regret in life?

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Describe one event in your life that you could have changed and what you would do differently if given a second chance.

 

For me, it was not taking college seriously and not making the most out of it. I was pretty much a slacker back then and often did the bare minimum just to get an okay grade on my classes. I ended up with a useless degree that I can't do much with and now has far reaching consequences for me. Having lost my last job due to shady circumstances, It's been a huge struggle finding work in what is the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. This situation has affected every part of my life from independence, looking for new friends and most importantly, looking for a wife. If I could do things differently, I would have given college my all and chosen a field that is very marketable and at the same time I liked.

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My biggest regret in life was disobeying my mom's orders to never eat at the school cafeteria when I was 10/11, and ate tons of junk food from there. That made me gain at LEAST 25 pounds. Possibly more. I went from being around 140lbs (I was around 5 feet tall, so I wasn't badly overweight at all,) to being around 165lbs (that's not curvy, that's fat and unhealthy.) Since being 10/11 (not sure which one,) I have gained 20 pounds and am now 5'3". If I had listened to my mom and stayed out of the cafeteria, I would only be around 165lbs. Probably less cuz I would have been fitter so I would have exercised a lot more whenever I played sports (which was a lot.) The point is, I would be overweight but I don't think a fat overweight. Maybe a few pounds over curvy, but not a size 14, that's for sure.

 

That is my biggest regret. If I have kids, I will not allow them to have cafeteria cards. And if I can, I will cancel their accounts at the cafeteria.

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I regret nothing!!! I am who I am because of what I have done, If I wasn't a total shut in I would have never met my friend on the computer, and then I would never have developed my taste in music because he introduced me to it...if I didn't try to overdose I would have never gained such a strong faith, such a strong dream and such a strong sense of knowing my emotional limits...everything just scales after that...without my sadness i would have never taken up psychology and i wouldn't have made music the way i do....id still be wanting to be a pilot ...without all the rejections i would have never learned so much about myself.....i wouldn't be me without my mistakes....i would be someone else...and i wouldn't be here to post this message

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I feel like I've wasted my potential in a lot of areas. If I could do things over I would take more advantage of opportunities and not let my social/general anxiety make my decisions. And I'd be less lazy. And I'd have started taking piano at like 6.

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I used to do ballet until I was about 12 and then stopped when I got more into playing clarinet. I still play clarinet to this day and have since taken up other instruments, so I'm grateful for that. I do regret not continuing dance though.

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I feel like I've wasted my potential in a lot of areas. If I could do things over I would take more advantage of opportunities and not let my social/general anxiety make my decisions. And I'd be less lazy. And I'd have started taking piano at like 6.

You could just start doing it now....your not even at the halfway point in your life

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You could just start doing it now....your not even at the halfway point in your life

 

True for some of the opportunities and not for others. I'm not depressed about it or anything, I just regret missing them.

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I'm with MAR on this one. I do not regret a thing nor would I want to change anything. This is always my answer to this question and its not usually the answer people want to hear but I believe that everything that has happened to me, good or bad has served it's purpose. It has shaped the person that I am now, and I usually like that person. Lol

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While I believe one shouldn't dwell on a regret, I reject the notion that one shouldn't have regrets. All a regret is is that one wishes they would have made a different decision in the past. If you don't regret something you did in the past, then won't you just make the same decision in the future? Indeed, if you have changed the way you conduct yourself now isn't that an indication you regret what you did earlier?

 

I think regret is good and spiritually valid. It's only a problem when it's what you focus on. Because what you focus on determines your destiny.

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While I believe one shouldn't dwell on a regret, I reject the notion that one shouldn't have regrets. All a regret is is that one wishes they would have made a different decision in the past. If you don't regret something you did in the past, then won't you just make the same decision in the future? Indeed, if you have changed the way you conduct yourself now isn't that an indication you regret what you did earlier?

 

I think regret is good and spiritually valid. It's only a problem when it's what you focus on. Because what you focus on determines your destiny.

 

I see your point. To me, I guess I see regret as something in the past that I would change if I could. And even if I could change the events of my past, I would choose not to. Learning from your mistakes only happens after you make the mistake. At the time, I would have begged for a change but current me knows that I had to endure what I did endure to be better and to understand others. 

 

Anyways, to me I don't regret the bad things of my past, I just don't look back at them so fondly. However, I see the value in them. I am an eternal optimist after all. lol

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Instead ot talking about regrets, I'm going to mention something kind of similar. There are things that I wouldn't have done differently, but at the same time realize that there were/are potentially serious downsides to having done. I've always been so focused on mainly schoolwork (and to a lesser extent at times working) that during college I haven't really made any friendships. I've met plenty of people that I'm friendly with, but no real friendships. Furthermore, I've never dated. Now, I don't regret this since I absolutely believe my focus has to be on getting top grades and padding my application for graduate school. But, at the same time, college may have been a great time to meet a woman who could have been my wife.

 

Another choice I've made with a potential downside is my choice of major. I'm a history major with the intention of entering a PhD program. The only problem is, there is the potential I burn out before I actually get a PhD. If that's the case, then history was not the best undergraduate degree to get. I tend to think not as bad as the stereotype of a degree in the humanities goes, but it's not the same as something like an accounting degree. I don't regret my choice of major because it's what I feel I want to pursue and I have to try, but at the same time there are risks.

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I regret letting what others thought of me stop me from doing things that I loved. I missed out on alot of great things, but I'm making up for them now :)

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Right now, my biggest regret would have to do with letting the pain and suffering caused to me in the past determine how I would treat myself and others in the present or future. Too often I've let what someone did to me in the past push otherwise well-meaning people away from me...even some girls who genuinely cared about me or even liked me. I know I need to stop doing this, even though it's incredibly hard...and I am trying to. You can't let your haters determine your future/present happiness or lack thereof not the future/present happiness of those who genuinely care about or genuinely like you...don't push people away just because someone else hurt you. If you have to judge others, do so on an individual basis, as each person's situation (even if they use the same words, at times) is different. They could say the same thing, but mean something completely different...I know from experience...unfortunately.

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God uses everything for good.

I want to regret things of the past, but I look back and can now see their usefulness in my present life. 

One thing I want to regret is being so naive and believe the lies I was told.  But if I didn't understand how easy it was for someone to believe a lie, I would have no understanding or empathy for others who believe lies and I might refrain from reminding them of truth.

No lessons are learned while we're living it out.  Learned lessons are in hindsight.  So keep moving forward with faith that God will see you through.  I always pray that I won't have to learn my lessons twice. :lol:

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And even if I could change the events of my past, I would choose not to. Learning from your mistakes only happens after you make the mistake. At the time, I would have begged for a change but current me knows that I had to endure what I did endure to be better and to understand others. 

 

Anyways, to me I don't regret the bad things of my past, I just don't look back at them so fondly. However, I see the value in them. I am an eternal optimist after all. lol

 

I hear what you're saying. And I can see how certain negative things ultimately make us better, more well rounded, more compassionate, wiser and more grateful human beings.

 

But I still reject the sentiment "Regret Nothing" as if this is some kind of worthwhile wisdom. I don't find it so. I even find it immature.

 

The following isn't directed at anyone specifically:

 

If you were to hurt someone else would you still carry around the belief to regret nothing? So, you wouldn't regret the pain you caused your fellow human being? Likewise, when we do harm to ourselves how much different is that to doing harm to others? We deserve our own compassion as much as others do. Certain things should be regretted and I believe it's immature not to regret certain things.

 

Another thing to consider: I am quite certain there are people who have made decisions in their lives that really compromised them and they don't have the luxury of having the notion "regret nothing." 

 

So while I think it's wise not regretting certain things, I think it's immature to have the stance of "regret nothing" because I believe there are certain things that should be regretted and to not regret them is immature. 

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I regret having made someone a priority in my life and yet i was only an option in his. I regret having let him take advantage of my weakness. I regret not having slapped him in the face when i had the chance!!!

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Guess I should have been more against the grain in certain areas not taking no for an answer. Including with people I feel like maybe I should have been more open to some so they could see how wonderful I really am and successfully located the good apples, on second thought maybe I'm moreso regretting where I grew up with those snobbish brats who didnt know a good thing when they saw one Lol. Yeah, sometimes moving around is not a great thing then again neither is growing up in the same place all the time. Oh well

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Regret is not a loss, it's an opportunity to do better. We all have areas of out life where we can or should do better. Probably the biggest reason for not doing so is drive. But we learn from our choices and we move forward. Having "regret" is two-fold, it gives us a chance to re-evaluate what happened, and gives us the opportunity to mitigate said choice in the future.

A prime example is how many of us are waiting until marriage. That can be seen as a regret, but it is also an opportunity. It may be a regret because we are missing out on one of life's most primal events, but it's also an opportunity to prove to our spouse and ourselves we have perseverance. Which one it falls under is up to you. Try not to look at the past as a train wreak, but rather a guide of what to do next.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain."

 

.

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If I could change something I would have been more social at school. I was kind of a nerd. I didn't really go out and rather focussed  on schoolwork and my Playstation. This has also been the way in University to a large extent and I didn't have much interest in girls. I feel sorry that I didn't start looking for someone earlier.

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If I would change anything it would start at birth. My birth father kinda raised me to be a little stingy, but at the same time he didn't really raise me at all. Basically, I was not allowed to do most sports, and when I did try to do certain sports my mom would pull the "money" or "time" card out on me. I was strictly instructed not to be social and make friends with non-christian and Jewish people as they would corrupt my world view. I just wish I was smart enough to be independent and think on my own during my middle-school and high school years. Then I could have taught myself the basic necessities of life my parents didn't tell me. 

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I regret not spending more time with my late grandparents. I miss them so much but when I was younger I wanted to play at home and be all over and not with them mostly but I'm glad I did spend much time whether not by choice or by choice. That's probably my biggest regret right now; I could've learned so much more from them than I had but then again I thank God for the time I was given with them

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I regret breaking up with an amazing person I had before my now fiance. A 25-year old male waiter, who worked very hard, and had an amazing character, I was very in love. However, aside from the regret I am thankful it happened because he taught me sooo much being a young, naive 19year old gal and have been able to apply that my present life. Also, maybe a few things in HS like being a prudish, snob when it came to people who slept around. Other than that I have been very Blessed♥

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i regret getting bad grades in high school. if just got those credits and good grades i would be in a much higher academic level. 

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