LonelyKnight

Husbandly Duties

16 posts in this topic

"I love you just the way you are."

 

It's a nice song lyric, but sometimes I wonder if that sentiment doesn't preclude people aspiring to be more eligible in their search for a mate. If marriage is a job, then like any other job, we ought to be working to pump up our resume to get the position with the company we want, right?

 

I remember being taken aback by one friend who noted being very intentional in working on her marriage, and aspiring to certain roles or duties, as if she felt an obligation to her husband to make herself do better and be better. A trifling thing, but it struck me as rare and led me to ask this question:

 

Guys, what do you perceive as your "husbandly duties" to perform? What do you aspire to be able to do, what are you adding to your Husband Resume?

 

Ladies, what do you expect, or hope to expect, out of your man? What duties or obligations do you want him to feel towards you, and what would you like to see on a Man Resume?

 

Let's say the top 7.

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I've thought about this a good bit. Kind of why I don't feel ready for marriage any time soon. Pretty much the only husbandly "duty" I think I'm somewhat ready for is sex.  :lol: I'll try to list 7.

 

1. Handymanliness- I think it's essential (and attractive?) for a husband to be able to fix things around the house, work on the car, etc. Despite being in engineering, I have no experience with that stuff  :unsure:

2. Cooking- Maybe thanks to my dad, but I see helping with the cooking as part of a man's duties. I don't know how to cook yet, but I want to learn.

3. Career- Except in rare cases where the husband is stay-at-home and the wife has a career sufficient for the family, providing financially for the family is one of the biggest duties, in my opinion. This one I'm actually working towards, though I have no idea what I want to do.

4. Faithfulness- Sure this is a duty for both husband and wife, but I see 100% faithfulness to one woman, not just physically, as very manly for a husband.

5. Staying healthy- I think this is neglected by a lot of people, especially in obese America. Maybe I'm alone, but I think staying healthy can be a vital part of a marriage, as it will lengthen your life, heighten your quality of life, and hopefully help keep the spark alive. I feel like keeping your spouse attracted to you is your responsibility, and that includes staying fit and continuing to pursue them romantically, which bring me to

6. Continuing to pursue- I think one duty of a husband is to continually study and pursue his wife, continue to earn her affection, and keep being romantic once in a while.

7. Hmm, will come back for a 7th one (and maybe more)

 

Just want to add that I find it extremely attractive in a girl to at least have marriage in mind and be working towards it in some areas.

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Hmm

Ive never thought about this so this is just off the top of my head.

 

Love- find new ways to fall in love again to have a deeper connection whether its with praying together or discovering new things about eachother etc

 

Stay sexy- live a healthy lifestyle and continue to keep up the sexiness.

 

Be supportive- we should always support eachother no matter what...and he should help me in the kitchen. He's gonna have to learn how to cook if he doesnt know already

 

Romantic-dates/affection shouldnt stop after the ring

 

Be adventurous- Im going to want continue my travels and live in different countries, experience new cultures, try new things...

 

Protect-...scare away the bugs and the slimy creepy creatures 

 

Understanding- just because we are married doesnt mean he gets an "all access pass" if I have a headache, I have a headache

 

aaaaaaand regular sex well thats all folks 

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This is a subject that I have contemplated more than a few times and it bothers me that I don't have answer for it. For me it's really hard to say what the husband father roles are; I guess that's because I grew up without really seeing mine. So I can't right now list what they are since I don't exactly know which ones are delegated to the husband/father except maybe some of those already mentioned. However I was fortunate to have a great mom who looked out for me. So since I see marriage as a partnership then my role would be pretty much everything my Mom did (love, care, provide, sacrifice) and everything my Dad didn't do. Also to be there for my wife and partner with her in all of theses duties both in mine and in hers. Interested to hear more on this subject and hear thoughts and views from both sides....Very Curious

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 @ Jordan
There is a man at my church whom I think is a wonderful male role model.  He volunteers with the kids program along side his family (and I always hang around there too).  He always makes an attempt to say Hi to everyone (no matter how old or young).  He plays games with the kids.  He goes to church with his mom, his wife, and his teenage daughter.  One time I told his mom, "You are probably pretty proud of your son for turning out to be a man of such character and kindness.  He brings his family to church every sunday."  She explained that she was proud and that she was a single mom all those years.  I told his wife the same thing about her husband one day.  She said that her husband told her that he doesn't really know what it is to be a husband and father so he's not sure (to this day).  Despite, I think he is remarkable and so does his family.  I think all it takes to be a good husband/father is to try.  Be there.  Be kind.  If there is a need, seek to fill it. 

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What is my idea of a great husband?

1. A man who can embrace me.  Not squeeze me to death, but gives a large, warm embrace.  That makes me feel safe and loved.
2. I love to see a man interacting with his child/children.  It is an attractive quality.
3. A man who seeks to provide financially but does not work too many hours nor is always drained because of work. 
4. A conversationalist, politeness, a man of character, a man of his word; Not someone who exaggerates or says he'll do something and he doesn't (even little things).
5. A man who doesn't put pressure on me, but allows me some freedom. 

6. I would love it if a man would back me if I were to say something to the family such as "time to do the dishes everyone". And he makes sure everyone heads to the kitchen.  Sounds silly, I know.  Just being honest.

7. A man whom I can feel safe with (anything from a scary movie to a home invasion)
8. A man who knows he is needed.

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Hmmm lots of good stuff here.

Ok what do I try to do so I will be honest to give you girls a chance to call me a git lol lol.

Think its appropriate for a chap to do his "share" of the domestics. Personally I always clean the kitchen and bathroom on a Friday night. We all wake up on Saturday morning come downstairs and get greeted with a clean kitchen. A good few glasses of wine along the way of course and some fun. Henry has a soaked towel to clean the floor. But no wine lol

I adore being the odd job king. Have learn all the trades even though I don like them all Plastering aaaaaaaahhh

Im a stock chap but thats no essential. Im always good for a hug. As an ex doorman I like to protect when im out with a lady. Partner and family will always be safe.

Guess im lucky as im retired as I sold my company to a multi national. Its nice being a good provider.

A typical chap before I realised my stupid mistakes in life particularly concerning WTM. Im happy to declare my mistakes and ask my partner for her forgivness. Big duty for me but sadly not high on the agenda !

I live for the happness of my children. Whatever life throws at me they will carry on their youth happily. Whatever is happening in their parents life they will have the impression all is well. I adore playing with them, I love to get away with them, particularly on the boat, saling into the sunset, dropping anchour away from civilisation, dropping down the tender, water skiing etc etc barbeque on the beach, sunset,sleep perfect.

Aha older now, And checking whether we are in user discression !!! I consider it a husbandly duty to keep my partner happy sexually thats in a word being consious of a ladys needs before my own. Enough info for this thread lol.

Can I do my desires in a lady now lol lol ????

Have a great evening. Col.

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"I love you just the way you are."

 

It's a nice song lyric, but sometimes I wonder if that sentiment doesn't preclude people aspiring to be more eligible in their search for a mate. If marriage is a job, then like any other job, we ought to be working to pump up our resume to get the position with the company we want, right?

 

I remember being taken aback by one friend who noted being very intentional in working on her marriage, and aspiring to certain roles or duties, as if she felt an obligation to her husband to make herself do better and be better. A trifling thing, but it struck me as rare and led me to ask this question:

 

Guys, what do you perceive as your "husbandly duties" to perform? What do you aspire to be able to do, what are you adding to your Husband Resume?

 

Ladies, what do you expect, or hope to expect, out of your man? What duties or obligations do you want him to feel towards you, and what would you like to see on a Man Resume?

 

Let's say the top 7.

 

(These aren't ranked in any special order.  I'm just listing them as they come to me):

 

1.)  I would expect him to be faithful to me -- to not be flirting with other women, and certainly not do anything more than that.  I wouldn't want him fantasizing about other women.  But I want to be his both emotionally and physically and in every other way.   I don't want him having a wandering eye.    This also includes porn.  I don't want him to be looking at images of other women for his sexual pleasure.

 

So, right now, I would want to see someone who was able to stay faithful to his future wife now-- by waiting until marriage and not be trying to whet his sexual appetite.

 

2.)  I would like him to be compassionate towards all people, not just me.  This means that he should act compassionately now, before we are in a relationship.  He should treat others with kindness, and shouldn't be a jerk to others.

 

3.) I want to marry a Christian man -- I want Jesus to be the center of his life.  I also would like to see him living out his faith.

 

4.)  I want to marry someone who could be my best friend -- that means that he has to act like a friend.

 

5.)  He has to be interested in me as a person, and not just my appearance or superficial qualities.  I want to know that he cares about me, and that he enjoys being with me, and that he is interested in me and what I have to say.

 

6.) Although this is often thought of as something that is important for a guy to have from his woman -- I do want him to respect me, too.   I don't want him looking down on me, or thinking that I am less than him, and I certainly wouldn't want him to mistreat me.  

 

7.)  I want a man who is honest with me and is willing to be open with me about the things that are important to him.

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When I saw this topic......my mind went immediately to Ephesians 5: 22-33.....It shows a husband how he should love wife & it also shows the wife a few things as well....Just think for a minute......how Jesus loved the church (sinners) And what he ultimatley did for us!!!!! And your Husband is to love & cherish you like that!!!! WOOO!!! Lol!!! I get giddy just thinking about it!!! :-) What more could a woman want!!!! I also remember what a wife is to be to her husband.....it shows it in Proverbs 31: 10-31... these words are spoken from King Lemuel...that is mother taught him....what a wife should be!!! How amazing is that!!! I aspire to be that type of woman!!! She was craftswoman (made garments to sell & trade) a keen business woman (bought & sold land) a fantastic mother! Wow! And sooo much more! She encompasses all that we can aspire to be! There are so many more great nuggets of what rolls as Husband/Father & Wife/Mother are throughout the bible....but those to examples truly covers it all! :-)

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@Stacie

 

Thank you so much for that story; you have no idea the confidence it inspires in me. It is a very hope filled story that proves that it is possible to be a good Husband/Father even if you never saw a good example; further it shows that you can break a bad cycle of partenting. Again thanks for sharing and for the advice.

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  1.  A man that has belief in something. I am not a religious person, so he need not be religious, but I would like him to stand for something and not swayed by anything.

  2. A man who has kindness, respect, and compassion for all living things.

A man who is patient and has control of his temper.

A man that wants to be a parent and not just have children, and at the same time a man who will be ok if we are never blessed with the gift of parenthood.

A man that can express his emotions in a healthy manner.  Able to cry with me and Able to laugh with me.

A man who will share in the household duties is willing to pitch in with nighttime feeds, cooking, laundry etc., and helping in other areas like taking an elderly in-law to the doctors or cutting their grass.

 A man who works hard in his field, but knows how to leave work at work  and can relax and have fun just as easily.

 A man who is not threatened by, but admires and appreciates my strengths and man I can admire and appreciate his strengths whatever they are.

A man that isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m being ridiculous, but still loving and respecting me for me.

A man that is truly committed to “until death do us part†Understands that appearances change and though we may try to stay healthy illness can strike and that long lasting relationships is work.

An awesome hugger. I love good hugs.

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Man, this is another long post and I apologize for that.  I've never seen or been on another forum where the topics of conversation hit so close to home with me.  I simply am not able to respond to a lot of these threads in any type of concise manner.  This forum is amazing because it's so relevant to me but, it's also infuriating because I have to cut down and summarize my thoughts to a fraction of what they are.  So, I'm going to take a page from Arwen's book and break this into two separate posts.

Husbandly love, a husband's duties -- I could fill a book.  I have filled a book.  I am still adding to it.  Hopefully I will be done writing it sometime soon.  Since I was 22, almost the entirety of my adult life has centered on and focused on me learning what the role and responsibilities of a husband are.  I'm not talking so much about the standard responsibilities that most everyone has some idea of.  What I have learned are some pretty deep concepts regarding love, intimacy, and what husbandly love really is.

Growing up I never really had an example of what a marriage, as God intended it, was.  When I was nine, after 16 years of marriage, my mom kind of went off the rails and left my Dad.  Even up to that point though, their relationship was strange -- not bad but, not fully what it needed to be.  Dad was strong and good-hearted but, very disconnected from his emotions.  Mom was a mentally unbalanced alcoholic with a history of shocking abuse.  Mom needed Dad to heal and care for her in some really deep, intimate, emotional, and spiritual ways.  While these are the duties of a husband, Dad simply did not have that capacity.  He had no clue where to even begin and I don't think he even realized the extent to which his responsibilities toward my mother were in that area.  It didn't help matters any that both only had a passing relationship with God.  They loved each other but, their relationship was weird and really not a great example for me.  The only other example I had was Grandpa and Grandma but they were so private I never really percieved or discovered much of their wonderful marriage until later in my twenties as I was caring for them.

So when I turned 22, I found myself with two major problems, two major points of concern brewing in my life.  Firstly, I needed my relationship with God to be something far more than it was.  Secondly, I wanted marriage -- a wife -- more than I wanted anything.  I still do want that more than anything.  I had struggled through my pre-teen and teen years wrestling with those two things and by the time I was a young adult they were huge, pretty much monsters in my little world.  No one ever knew about or saw it but, if these two issues hadn't recieved some kind of attention, they would have caused major problems for me.  I think God saw this and had mercy on me.  He came and entered into a relationship with me and made it clear that it was to be a marital relationship -- a spiritual marriage.

At first I was uncertain about that idea but, as I lived that relationship and discovered in the Bible that this is the type of relationship God intends to have with us, it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.  Being the wonderfully efficient being that He is, God took care of both my problems with one single action.  I say this because through this "marital" relationship that I've had with God for nearly fifteen years now, He has formed into me the foundation necessary to build a successful marriage upon.  He has formed into me the heart and spirit of a husband.

What I have learned and discovered is that the material aspects of marriage pale profoundly in comparison to the non-material aspects.  There is absolutely no way I could possibly put everything into a post on an internet forum but, I can list a few highlights.  So, here goes.

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Marriage is a stewardship.  It is a beautiful, mutual, reciprocated stewardship.  You are entrusted with being the caretaker of another human being -- in full and on every level.  Another person's heart soul, mind, body, emotions, sexuality, spirit, and potential in life has been given as a gift into your possession and become your responsibility.  I'm not negating people's own responsibilities for taking care of and bettering themselves but, God clearly forms into most people, beyond a need for Him, the need for a spouse to reach their full potential as a man or a woman and, indeed, to expand that potential.

The best way to look at marriage is that both husband and wife are gardeners and the one they are married to is the garden entrusted into their care.  This garden gives you nourishment and sustennence.  It provides the food for your heart and soul.  It is filled with endless delights and deserts, making life beautiful and satisfying.  This garden is not only the source of sustenance for your inner being, it is your home.  It provides safety and shelter.  It keeps you warm and protected from the dark nights and frigid winters of your life.  It provides shade and shelter from the raging heat of Summer.  It is the one place in life where you are safe.  It is where you experience joy, happiness, bliss, and ecstasy.  It is where you go when you are broken, weeping, and need to be healed and cared for.

The responsibilities and duties required to be not just a good steward but an amazing one are endless and immense for both a husband and a wife.  Since this thread is geared to the husband's duties I will focus on those.  As I stated before, these are by no means the extent of a husband's duties but, they are a few of the more profound ones.

- Protect

God imbued women with a physically intangible power -- a glorious, wondrous magic that grows, nurtures, and makes things and people whole and complete.  It heals and shines light and beauty into the people and the world around them.  The nature of a woman is to give of herself, of this divine power, until there is nothing left.  Don't let your wife do that.  Always make sure she keeps some of her magic for herself.  Protect the light of her heart from her own selflessness, from you, from the kids, from everyone else in the world.

As a husband, don't drain your wife down to nothing.  Men have a tendancy to suck women dry -- emotionally, physically, spiritually.  It is your wife's glory and pleasure to feed and fill you with the nectar of her beauty, with the contents of her heart and soul.  Once you've had your fill, had your needs met, once she has given you whatever extras and treats she wishes and is healthy for her to do so -- be saitisfied and happy with that.  Don't continue to guzzle the contents of your wife's being until there is nothing left!  Stop and fill her back up!  Most relationships I see, the men do this to the women and it is deplorable.  The women end up an exhausted heap.

- Plant, Seed, & Sow

The aformentioned magic -- it's your job to keep that fire, that lamp fueled, burning, and shining brightly.  How do you do that?  By gardening your wife.  A great deal of being a husband is planting, seeding, and sowing.  A husband should do this all the time but, a prime example of this is what happens behind closed doors.

Making love, as God intended, can be many things but, one of the primary intentions is that it is a time of joyful planting for you and your wife.  You gently, beautifully open your wife up -- heart, spirit, mind, body, and soul.  She gloriously draws and reaps the seeds of life and beauty from deep within you; from within your own heart, spirit, mind, body, and soul -- from within your own garden.  Together you both plant those seeds within the richness of her being, the richness of her garden.  When you make love to your wife, you aren't to just make babies.  It's your duty to plant emotional, spiritual, and intellectual seeds within her that grow and are birthed as life and beauty.

It goes well beoynd creating children.  That feminine magic and beauty I mentioned above, it's your job to plant the seeds of that within her heart, her emotions, her spirit, and her mind.  It's your job to tend to and nurture it and help it to grow inside of her.  It's your job to be there when she births it.  It's your job to take care of it with her after it is has been birthed from her.  Exactly the way it is with a child.  The beauty that flows from your wife belongs to you both and it is as much your responsibility as it is her's.

Reach the hands and voice of your spirit into her and build her beauty, her worth, her value, her glory, her strength from within.  You tell her and give her everthing she wants and needs to get from inside of you.  You plant the seeds of your heart within her own.  Not only do you do this when you make love, you do it all the rest of the time as well.  Deeds done, things given, kind words, sweet nothings continually whispered, big things, little things -- you sow all of this into her heart as often as you are able so that she can continue to grow new life and beauty within her and birth it into the world around her.

- Tend To Your Wife's Beauty

I have come across far too many women recently whose husbands have left them because they didn't think their wives were physically attractive anymore.  These individuals are total failures as males, as men, and as husbands.  I do think that a wife should make an effort, within the realm of reason, to make herself attractive for her husband.  Far more important than that though -- men, your wife's beauty is your responsibility.  If your wife isn't beautiful, then you are not doing your job as her husband, as her gardner, as the steward and caretaker of her being.  When she has a light fueled by her husband shining from within her, a wife will glow and be radiant on the outside like none of the other women around her.  When she has the seeds of your love -- the seeds you planted within her, have tended to, have nurtured; when she has these seeds growing, flourishing, and blossoming within her, her beauty will shine like the Sun.  Believe me, if you are doing your job as a husband then she is going to be beautiful to you and to everyone.

- Join Your Wife's Glory To Your Own

You never leave your wife behind.  You don't do anything without her.  You don't allow yourself to be anything without her.  Don't you dare shine without letting her be the light within you.  She gets to share in your glory.  She is a part of your glory -- she is it's primary component.  You fold her into your glory, wrap her in it and then let her be the prime reason for it, let her be the center of it.  Let your wife be the crown upon your head.  Let her be the gemstone that gives you splendor -- the work of beauty that God adorns your life and your very soul with.

You make your wife's hopes, her dreams, and her plans a part of your own.  Toghether the two of you join and meld them into one.  You are no longer an "I," you are a "we" and each one of you is at the core of the other.

- Love Her

When your wife is at her lowest possible point it is your job to love her and not leave her, no matter what.  Beyond that, when she is at her ugliest, when she strikes and lashes out at you, when she hurts you it is your duty to, not just love her but, to remain in love with her and continue to cherish and treasure her.  It is your duty to continue to see her beauty and remind her of it, even when she is at her worst.  That is husbandly love.

- Sacrifice

Your duty as a husband is to sacrifice youself for your wife when necessary.  You are to carry the burdens that she cannot carry, shoulder the loads that she cannot shoulder, help her when she cannot do something on her own.  Be with her in the midst of her hardship and shoulder it with her or, take it entirely upon yourself if need be.  You give yourself up to save your wife.  Things you want, things you need, minor things, major things -- even if it means you suffer, even if it's your very life itself -- whatever part of yourself or your life that you have to give up to ensure your wife gets to keep hers, you do it.  It's not only your duty as a husband but it is your glory and your blessing to do so.  That is husbandly love.

- Don't Allow Your Wife To Languish

One of the main duties of both a husband and a wife is to develop, prosper, and elevate one another to a place in their life that they could not have made it to on their own -- to better their spouse in ways that they wouldn't have been bettered otherwise.  By this, I mean one of a woman's primary responsibilities as a wife is to help her husband reach his full potential as a man.  Likewise it is a husband's responsibility to help his wife reach her full potential as a woman.  You raise her up.  You help her to become more than she ever would have been without you.

If she was meant to be something in life then you help her to become whatever that is.  Whether it is a career, or being a mother, or being something else, it is your responsibility to work as hard as she does to get her there.  It is your responsibility to help her maintain it when she does achieve it.  If she needs a degree, then you help her get it.  If she needs to be a mother, then you help her build and birth some babies and help her mother and parent them into adulthood.  If she needs to grow and develop spiritually, emotionally, or intellectually you help her in her endeavors to do that.  Whatever she needs to grow and blossom into her full capacity as a woman it is your duty make sure she has it and help her to attain her goals.  Husbands and wives are to grow one another, to cause one another to blossom and flourish to their full potential.  Beyond that they expand one another's capacity then continue growing and nurturing until that is fulfilled as well.

- Heal & Soothe Her

Your wife is going to have scars, wounds, hurts, and pains.  It is your job to heal and sooth these.  It is your job to comfort her.  It is your job to give attention to whatever pain and distress she is or has been in.  One way to look at it is to know that your wife's heart is absolutely priceless.  Her tears are pieces of her heart fracturing and falling off.  They are her hurts and pains.  Don't ever let a single one her tears fall to the ground, they are too valueable for such a dishonor.  Instead you catch them upon your chest and let them flow into your own heart to be kept safe, valued, treasured, and cherished.  You don't let a single one of those pieces that have broken off from her heart get away because it is your job to help her put them back where they came from and make her heart whole and unbroken again.

- Surrender Yourself Into Her Possession

Part of your duty as a husband is to surrender the depths of your heart and soul to your wife.  Let her taste and delight and partake of your mind, your emotions, your feelings.  Let her sink her hands into you and nurture, and heal, and build you up.  Surrender yourself to her.  Let her be your gardner.  Let her plant and sow and reap within you just as she lets you do within her.  Let her prune and trim and beautify you from within -- let her garden you.  Marriage is a continual discovery of one another.  Wives particularly, have a need to constantly go deeper, to explore deeper, to own and possess ever deeper and more fully the hearts, minds, emotions, and spirits of their husbands.

As men we have to wear armor, be strong and invulnerable, be a veritable fortress fully armed and guarded in order to survive in this world.  When you are in the presence of your wife, when you lay in bed whispering to one another, you don't get to be any of that.  No armor, no defenses, nothing -- just the core of your being laid entirely naked, unprotected, and vulnerable before your wife so that she might enter into and roam about, partake of, care for, garden, explore, and take possession of as she needs and pleases to.  You don't get to be a tough guy with her.  You let her have you.  One of the most common, painful, and agonizing ways for a marriage to die is for the husband to be emotionally closed off and inaccessable to his wife.  Don't let that happen.  Don't make her starve to death because she cannot sait her hunger for your heart and emotions.

I suppose I have written a far longer post than I have any business doing.  It was difficult to not do so.  I see people and they don't even scratch the surface of their marriages and the potential within them.  I see husbands who greviously fail their wives and, wives who fail their husbands just a severely.  So many people never even have a thought as what the deeper meanings and purposes of marriage are.  What I have written above is just a taste of what a true marriage is but, much of it people don't often consider.

Anyway, that's a few of my thoughts on the duties of a husband.

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Wow BigMat. I feel you only scratched the surface and left (at least me) with even more thoughts and questions on the matters of marriage, love, and husbandly duties. All around, not gonna lie, that seems like an incredibly tall order but if you say it is possible then I apt to at the very least consider it for the sake of my own future marriage. I guess most of my follow on curiosities on the matter stem from how to attain these qualities and attributes and become this type of 'gardener/man.’ Though you did hint at it coming from a deeper spiritual connection or 'marriage' with the Lord. Also I am curious now transversely as to what 'deep' marriage looks like and what exactly are those good 'wife duties' and how to find them whilst dating. At any rate I hope you do release your book and perhaps you could answer me further in a PM rather than in the forum. I look forward to hearing more from you and Thanks for sharing. God Bless, Brother.

 

 

Semper Fidelis (Always Faithful)

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1. Be a leader: I believe most women want a man who is confident and takes charge, not someone who is passive and just makes her do everything.

 

2. Be a provider: I don't think he has to make a lot of money, but he should at least work hard to provide for the family.

 

3. Be a protector: Every man should be willing to lay down his life for his wife if need be. Ladies, you want to make your husband feel like a man? Tell him that being around him makes you feel safe :)

 

4. Be a comforter: A man should be sensitive to his wife's emotional needs. He should reassure her that she is beautiful inside and out even when she's at her worst.

 

5. Be a good father: Fathers play an often neglected but crucial role in a child's upbringing. Every father should be his son's role model for how to be a man and the standard bearer for his daughter to judge her future husband by.

 

6. Be intellectually stimulating: A man should value his wife's ideas and opinions over any other person in his life. He should encourage her to advance herself intellectually.

 

7. Be faithful: A man should be exclusively committed to his wife and no one else. He should forever honor his marriage vow to respect and love his wife and to never cheat on her.

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AMAZING!!........Big Mat....You have honed in on the very core of what a marriage is.....Marriage is to mirror all that God has done & continues to do for his creation...both saint & sinner a like.....That is why he designed such a Holy & Sacred thing as Marriage....All that you have posted for husbandly duties are exacltly the same for wives as well....with only slight ajustments......its astounding how you used the analogy of a gardener......The Song of Solomon came to mind with those references, much of that book equates love as a garden with many choice fruits.....So very on point Big Mat...The key to a marriage of that caliuber is God being at the very center & head of each of their lives....fully & totaly committed unto God..with communication being the greatest key to such a marriage......Mat God has given you the wonderful insight into what marriage is in His eyes.....You write that book & publish it!!!! God has a great work for you in that area....you have been called to save many a marriage & set the ground work for your marriage & for those preparing for it.... You are truly blessed!!!!! I'm awed at the God in you!!!!!!

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