Sophie

Offensive words for guys

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One time my mom and I got into a discussion about feminism and she said that when she was a young woman, she and her friends got together and made a list of all the bad words for women and bad words for men, and said that there were barely any bad words for men. I hear a lot of women say that, "they're are no offensive, degrading words for the male race!" One time I argued against this and listed as many as I could in a short amount of time: a**hole, bastard, jerk, dick, douche/douchebag, jacka**, Nancy, Shirley, pansy, (those two are for very feminine men,) manw***e, f*g and f****t. That's quite a bit. I know I missed some and I know British English has a lot more than Canadian English. And then the women argued by saying, "yeah, but it's not like men actually care if they get called on of those. I mean, they're not nearly as hurtful as b***h or s**t."

 

What is your take on this? Are these words equally as offensive as b***h, s**t, c**t, etc, or do you think they hold less power and hurt? How do you feel about offensive words for men?

 

I censored some of them for obvious reasons. I hope it's clear what they are.

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Yes, I think many of them are just as offensive and hurtful. I'm gonna take a guess and say that pansy/Nancy/Shirley would be the most offensive because they attack a man's core masculinity.

 

Clicked on this from the list of new threads and didn't realize it was Ask the Guys until after I posted. Ooops!

Edited by Kailey
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Yes, I think many of them are just as offensive and hurtful. I'm gonna take a guess and say that pansy/Nancy/Shirley would be the most offensive because they attack a man's core masculinity.

 

Yeah, hopefully the guys will answer this so we'll know, but I'd guess the same. I know that for me, the things that hurt me the most are when people (especially guys) insult my femininity. I'm still really upset when I think about the guys in high school who told me I "had a moustache", was "hairy", "looked like a man" and would joke about asking me out, making it clear how hilarious that would be to even ask someone like me out...Yeah, I still find it hard to even show interest in a guy without the thought, "Of course he's not interested in you; you're ugly and look like a man, remember?" running through my head for at least a second. I still can't look guys in the eye.

 

I'd assume it's the same thing for guys. Someone insults their masculinity, I'd imagine it was pretty painful.

 

(Read all that and it sounds depressing. Ah, well...)

 

xxx

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Well I don't find words offensive anyway, no one should, regardless of their meaning.

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Yeah, hopefully the guys will answer this so we'll know, but I'd guess the same. I know that for me, the things that hurt me the most are when people (especially guys) insult my femininity. I'm still really upset when I think about the guys in high school who told me I "had a moustache", was "hairy", "looked like a man" and would joke about asking me out, making it clear how hilarious that would be to even ask someone like me out...Yeah, I still find it hard to even show interest in a guy without the thought, "Of course he's not interested in you; you're ugly and look like a man, remember?" running through my head for at least a second. I still can't look guys in the eye.

 

I'd assume it's the same thing for guys. Someone insults their masculinity, I'd imagine it was pretty painful.

 

(Read all that and it sounds depressing. Ah, well...)

 

xxx

Ugh! Some people are so mean, I hate bullies :angry:!

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Actually the only thing I find offensive through a form of name calling is the pretending to ask then out or fake act like you like the to see their reaction, that's just low and I have no respect for people who do that.

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It was different when I was growing up but, anymore, if someone who isn't close to me calls me those things, I can ignore them and brush it aside relatively easily.  I've come to expect pretty much anything from strangers.  If it's someone I do love and care about then I would probably show the same absence of concern on the outside but, inside it would hurt deeply.  I am master at keeping my emotions from others.  It's pretty much been necessary for me to develop that ability.

Something I'll make note of is, if a woman said those things to me, it would be twice as hurtful than if a man said them.  With a man I'm subconsciously braced for the potential of there being a higher, more harmful level of threat.  With women, overall, their nature is softer, gentler, safer than that of men.  Whether it's true or not, I've always percieved them as being the softer, safer place for me in this world.  Subconsciously the perception is that I must be pretty bad if a woman is attacking me like that.  To be honest, what I've noticed for most people is that it always seems to hurt worse coming from the opposite sex.

In my family, the way it's been for most of my life, I've spent most of my time around men who had very little connection to or acknowledgement of their own emotions.  If you showed emotion yourself, you were immediately percieved as being weak and would most likely get torn apart for it.  To this day I am pretty much unable to show vulnerability to or share my deeper feelings with males.  The only way I feel safe is with a woman and then it can't just be anyone.  She has to have proven herself to be a safe place for me.

Anyway, as far as the specific derogatory terms themselves, their ability to hurt has a lot to do with the intent and meaning behind them.  The times that I've been cut the deepest emotionally by another in my life there wasn't a single derogatory word used.

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Well I don't find words offensive anyway, no one should, regardless of their meaning.

 

A pipe dream at best. So many kids take their own lives over what's said to and about them by bullies. Words can and will always be able to hurt, and they can't be "taken back." 

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A pipe dream at best. So many kids take their own lives over what's said to and about them by bullies. Words can and will always be able to hurt, and they can't be "taken back." 

 

Yeah, I agree. I was never really bullied, but I never believed the sticks-and-stones idiom. The words my parents said when they were angry or disappointed in me struck much harder than any physical punishment. And it's crazy the power a girl can have over the man in her life with words alone (I'm sure it works the other way around too). 

 

To the question, just my view, but I don't think guys typically get offended by words as easily as girls. Perhaps because demeaning  or vulgar language is more normal and expected from guys (I mean, just log into an online gaming network and have a listen). I can't really think of an instance where the use of one of those words by a guy would be offensive to me in itself. I think if I got offended or angry it would have more to do with what he was saying overall or the intent of the words than with what curse words he was using. But like others have said, the words a girl uses can have a much deeper impact. For example, soon after we broke-up, my ex and I were hanging out with her roommates (yeah, we tried that whole just be friends thing), and she made a comment to them about how all guys are jerks just looking for a place to stick their penises, to which they heartily agreed. She said this with no qualifier excluding me. Even though I was sure she didn't mean me, it still hurt and made me wonder if that's how she saw me (though I'd never tried to stick my penis anywhere, certainly). Sorry if that was a little crude. Lol.

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Funny isnt it almost any word can be offensive if its in he wrong context or inapoprate situation then no. Saying that in a loving relationship some of those words may be ok by agreement ??

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Yeah, I agree. I was never really bullied, but I never believed the sticks-and-stones idiom. The words my parents said when they were angry or disappointed in me struck much harder than any physical punishment. And it's crazy the power a girl can have over the man in her life with words alone (I'm sure it works the other way around too). 

 

To the question, just my view, but I don't think guys typically get offended by words as easily as girls. Perhaps because demeaning  or vulgar language is more normal and expected from guys (I mean, just log into an online gaming network and have a listen). I can't really think of an instance where the use of one of those words by a guy would be offensive to me in itself. I think if I got offended or angry it would have more to do with what he was saying overall or the intent of the words than with what curse words he was using. But like others have said, the words a girl uses can have a much deeper impact. For example, soon after we broke-up, my ex and I were hanging out with her roommates (yeah, we tried that whole just be friends thing), and she made a comment to them about how all guys are jerks just looking for a place to stick their penises, to which they heartily agreed. She said this with no qualifier excluding me. Even though I was sure she didn't mean me, it still hurt and made me wonder if that's how she saw me (though I'd never tried to stick my penis anywhere, certainly). Sorry if that was a little crude. Lol.

 

I see. You think a woman has power over man with just words? Take a good look at this little gamble called "marriage."

 

Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that ex of yours; despite your obvious distinction, she didn't hesitate to lump you in with the rest. Life is too short to spend it with someone with such an attitude. 

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Yeah, hopefully the guys will answer this so we'll know, but I'd guess the same. I know that for me, the things that hurt me the most are when people (especially guys) insult my femininity. I'm still really upset when I think about the guys in high school who told me I "had a moustache", was "hairy", "looked like a man" and would joke about asking me out, making it clear how hilarious that would be to even ask someone like me out...Yeah, I still find it hard to even show interest in a guy without the thought, "Of course he's not interested in you; you're ugly and look like a man, remember?" running through my head for at least a second. I still can't look guys in the eye.

Aw, those assholes! It must make them feel so tough to destroy the self esteem of a harmless girl. If I was there, I normally would not do something as dishonorable as hitting a man with a cheapshot, but since there nothing there it wouldn't hurt anyways.

No one messes with Jegs. No one.

To the question, just my view, but I don't think guys typically get offended by words as easily as girls. Perhaps because demeaning or vulgar language is more normal and expected from guys (I mean, just log into an online gaming network and have a listen). I can't really think of an instance where the use of one of those words by a guy would be offensive to me in itself. I think if I got offended or angry it would have more to do with what he was saying overall or the intent of the words than with what curse words he was using. But like others have said, the words a girl uses can have a much deeper impact. For example, soon after we broke-up, my ex and I were hanging out with her roommates (yeah, we tried that whole just be friends thing), and she made a comment to them about how all guys are jerks just looking for a place to stick their penises, to which they heartily agreed. She said this with no qualifier excluding me. Even though I was sure she didn't mean me, it still hurt and made me wonder if that's how she saw me (though I'd never tried to stick my penis anywhere, certainly). Sorry if that was a little crude. Lol.

Dude, your ex and her friends suck. I assume you two talked about WTM so I'm confused as to why she would say something like that. I'm sure you did nothing but treat her well when you went out, but I guess there is just no pleasing some girls. For her to corner you like that in front of all her friends is just low. The fact that none of them were sensitive to you being there taking the crap they are spewing says a lot about what kind of girls they are: Just vain and bitter. With that kind of attitude, they are going to lead sad and lonely lives. She didn't deserve you anyways.

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the only thing i want to add here is a note of how proud? happy? I am that this is the extent to which time has changed the self-assurances that young men like each of you on here reflect.  it's a really amazing thing, although I suspect most of you would not easily see it.  if you had asked this same question (and had the internet LOL) 20 years ago, you would have had a very different set of reactions from guys who are smart, perhaps a little more sensitive than the average, and certainly are standing for something a little different than the average.   there were lots of words that stung hard for young men... words that do not need repeating...   and words that have lost their punch.   this is a really really really big deal.   i know there is still bullying and harshness out there - I suspect any of the gay members on here might cite examples more readily, for friends if not for themselves - but by and large, what's changed is individuals' control of what words' impact is.   you all should be proud of yourselves.  you are above average, not different than the average.  and you know what's a harmless word uttered by an insensitive person - and what's the truth.  what i don't hear here is victim.  I hear strength - and at least inner confidence if not truly outer confidence.   :-)

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Youve got quite of vocab there Sophie :lol:

My aunt used to call her boys F*g**t all the time for crying about silly stuff they turned out pretty ok.

My dad used to call me stupid a** all the time (Ive always ADHD and horrible memory) and it made me sad or cry I was afraid to make mistakes for the longest time because of it. Now I realize that my dad was the dumb one  :P

 

I think people choose to take offense to many things I think it also depends on the person...some people are more sensitive and you have to walk on eggshells around them. Some just dont care what others say or it strengthens them.

Ive had people say things about me behind my back and Ive always thought to myself "hmmm I could choose to take offense to that and get upset find that person and give her a piece of my mind" (too much work and stress) or "I can simply realize that those statements made about me arent true or relevant to my life. That person doesnt really know me and now wont ever get to know me. I think people that use words like that (constantly) have a limited amount of intelligence. My sisters best friend cant complete a sentence without cursing and its soooooooo annoying while she does that, she constantly complains about how stupid people are yet she can barely spell or pronounce words correctly. :rolleyes:

Now Im not saying words dont have power...because they do but most of the time they are just words used by some fool who doesnt really know what they are talking about...such a shame really.

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Oops, I didn't mean to make her seem like a bad person. She's really not. In fact, I'm pretty sure she was thinking about her previous ex when she said it. I was just using an example of how a girl's words can affect a guy (or me at least) even if he knows they're not true for him.

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Oops, I didn't mean to make her seem like a bad person. She's really not. In fact, I'm pretty sure she was thinking about her previous ex when she said it. I was just using an example of how a girl's words can affect a guy (or me at least) even if he knows they're not true for him.

 

I didn't say she was a bad person. I said she had an unattractive attitude and that you're lucky to be rid of her. Even if she was talking about a previous ex. 

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No one messes with Jegs. No one.

Except you.

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Honestly, for me, calling me a 'loser' or some such thing (you don't need to curse me out, as I've heard every name in the book or just about thrown at me over the years...especially when I was in NROTC, haha) has more of an effect. Hence, I think with guys, the usual curse words are just that, words. However, if you belittle/demean our efforts at bettering ourselves or our lives or such (like trying to contribute to society or our families, etc.) I think it would have more of a negative effect, as that's where we're more emotionally vulnerable. We're raised from birth to just 'suck it up' and give it right back (barring certain contexts, such as work or school) when dealing with name calling (you don't want to get called a 'wimp' for shedding a tear over being called some 'stupid' name). But make a guy feeling like his every effort to, say bring home a decent income/put food on the table...or his professional accomplishments are nothing of value (i.e. anyone could've have done what you've done/everything you've accomplished is nothing/you're just another narcissistic loser who's done nothing of note in your life and noone will remember you when you finally keel over dead) is far more damaging, tbh.

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Men tend to deal better with adversity, so no matter what words you use, women are going to find insulting words towards them more hurtful than men will.

 

However, I would argue that swear words against men are not nearly as effective as words such as "loser" or "creep".

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Stick and Stones... Ive been called a lot of things in my day, smh, lol so, personally I like hearing the creativeness of someone's disgracefulness towards me, if they feel that way and it is appropriate in that given situation, i.e. i deserved it... come on women of the world.... express yourself!

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One time my mom and I got into a discussion about feminism and she said that when she was a young woman, she and her friends got together and made a list of all the bad words for women and bad words for men, and said that there were barely any bad words for men. I hear a lot of women say that, "they're are no offensive, degrading words for the male race!" One time I argued against this and listed as many as I could in a short amount of time: a**hole, bastard, jerk, dick, douche/douchebag, jacka**, Nancy, Shirley, pansy, (those two are for very feminine men,) manw***e, f*g and f****t. That's quite a bit. I know I missed some and I know British English has a lot more than Canadian English. And then the women argued by saying, "yeah, but it's not like men actually care if they get called on of those. I mean, they're not nearly as hurtful as b***h or s**t."

 

What is your take on this? Are these words equally as offensive as b***h, s**t, c**t, etc, or do you think they hold less power and hurt? How do you feel about offensive words for men?

 

I censored some of them for obvious reasons. I hope it's clear what they are.

 

Let  me say this first: bullying is wrong, period. Using your words to harass or intimidate someone is wrong, no matter if you're trying to hurt a man or a woman.

 

That said, take a closer look at the words you listed as insults for men. A**hole, jerk, and jacka** are all gender-neutral. IME, they are used for men and women. Bastard is technically gender-neutral, but I rarely see it used as an insult towards women. These words are not at all on par with the gendered language thrown at women.

 

Manwhore is a derivative of whore, which is used solely against women.

 

Douche/douchebag, Nancy, Shirley, pansy, and f*g/f****t are all insults towards men because being a woman or gay is the worst possible way to insult a man.

 

The only insult for men that doesn't perpetuate the idea that to be female or gay is to be lesser is the word dick.

 

Again, words hurt, bullying is wrong, it's okay for men to be upset if they're called these things, etc.

 

But the problem with the majority of this language is that regardless if you're insulting men or insulting women with gendered language, it all supports the misogynistic idea that women and gay men are lesser than straight men.

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I disagree, Belle, I think of the words asshole and jackass as being more meant for guys. The word "jerk" is neutral. I agree that there aren't too many truly derogatory words directed at men. Women have a whole slew of sexually-charged insulting words. Not so for men, unless you're referencing homosexual tendencies. 

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I'm the least likely to curse of my family and friends. But we just do it as a joke, like "omg ur such a ******" "oh yeah well you're ******* **** on a duck." Even then, that's rare.

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Yeah, hopefully the guys will answer this so we'll know, but I'd guess the same. I know that for me, the things that hurt me the most are when people (especially guys) insult my femininity. I'm still really upset when I think about the guys in high school who told me I "had a moustache", was "hairy", "looked like a man" and would joke about asking me out, making it clear how hilarious that would be to even ask someone like me out...Yeah, I still find it hard to even show interest in a guy without the thought, "Of course he's not interested in you; you're ugly and look like a man, remember?" running through my head for at least a second. I still can't look guys in the eye.

 

I'd assume it's the same thing for guys. Someone insults their masculinity, I'd imagine it was pretty painful.

 

(Read all that and it sounds depressing. Ah, well...)

 

xxx

 

First of all, Jegs I think what those guys did to you in high school is pretty low. They are scum.  Sorry for the harsh words, but I have zero tolerance for people who talk to others like that. You deserve to be treated better Jegs. 

 

 

Second of all, I think you hit the nail on the head Jegs (at least for me). What hurts me the most is when people attack my masculinity. For example, I remember getting emotional one time, and someone told me, "Stop crying, men don't cry." I just remember looking at that person and ever so slowly walking away from the situation, but I still had a sickening feeling inside.  

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