EWZ

“Judging other people�

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Sorry if this thread has been made before

So lately I have heard a lot of people say that they don’t judge anyone. Is it me or is that complete B.S.? It always annoys and confuses me when people say that. Without judging anyone or anything, you wouldn’t have an opinion on anyone or anything. If someone did something that was against your beliefs, you wouldn’t judge them? Am I alone on this? 

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Forgive me because this is going to sound like rambling , but for me judging someone happens when I think myself better than they are or condemn them for choices they have made in their life that's not to say I cannot think certain behaviors are not beneficial. Example, I do not think it is beneficial to my life to have multiple sexual partners, but at the same time I do not turn my nose up at people who do.

 

I think it is possible to think certain behaviors   are harmful with out shaming those who engage in them. Am I making sense? If not I can try again later I'm working on 4 hours of sleep.

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No, you're right. It is BS.

I think judgment is bad when you're looking down on others but constructive judgment is sometimes good (but there is a time and place for it). Everyone judges its just that some people are vocal about their judgment while others keep it to themselves. Some people's judgment is completely illogical and not based upon reason. Other times people let their own personal opinions or biases get in the way of maybe thinking objectively and that's when its good to be non-judgmental.

Unpopular opinion I know, but I don't think being judgmental is all the time a bad thing :wacko:

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I say there's a different between judging a person (thinking you're better than them, etc.) and disapproving certain ACTIONS that other people do.

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I judge people all the time, and damned if I don't feel bad for it. Humans are judgmental creatures. Non-judgementalists can strut around with their misguided sense of self-righteousness all they want. Guess they think its attractive or an effective mating strategy. 

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Total B.S. Everyone judges. I see nothing wrong with judging, as long as you keep your mouth shut or politely and intelligently state your opinions. Having judgmental moments doesn't make you a judgmental person, though. Just like telling a few lies every year doesn't make you a liar. I am not a judgmental person, but I am not perfect and I have made judgments against others. But judgmental people can often be mean, intolerant, and refuse to see past their judgments even when they are given many opportunities. I have made judgments against people, but I drop them when I get to meet them and end up really liking them and realizing I was wrong (although I sometimes am right.) So my advice is that if you're going to judge, still allow room in your mind to acknowledge you're wrong if evidence is put forward that you are. For example, don't keep on thinking a girl's a slut if you find out she's a virgin. Don't keep on thinking a jock is a total idiot if you find out he gets straight A's.

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It is okay to judge and hold opinions.  It is also good to coincide respect for all.  Perhaps that is what people are meaning when they say, "I don't judge."  And sometimes people go way overboard with judging others.  So if a person is comparing themselves to a person that over-judges they might think, "I don't judge" or in other words, "I don't  demean others quietly to myself" or "if they aren't hurting themselves or others I generally mind my own business."

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We all judge other people, so yes it is complete B.S. in a way. I think technically speaking, judging means forming an opinion about someone- which we all clearly do. When I say that "I don't judge", I actually mean respecting their opinion. I try not to view them differently for holding an opinion that is not the same as mine. I do the best I can to not let those differences affect how I see their character as a person.

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It only bugs me when people claim they are so open-minded in one breath and in the next judge others like crazy.

 

Spare me your claim that you're so liberal and open-minded and yet you judge like crazy.

 

Indeed we all make judgments and the distinction of simply making a  judgment and making a judgment whlile turning one's nose at others is a good one made by Bekah84.

 

Without judging anyone or anything, you wouldn’t have an opinion on anyone or anything.

Exactly. I dislike when people ignore the definition of words because it lacks honesty. If we have any assessments whatsoever we're judging. We all judge. And a claim by anyone that they don't judge is complete B.S.

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Sorry if this thread has been made before

So lately I have heard a lot of people say that they don’t judge anyone. Is it me or is that complete B.S.? It always annoys and confuses me when people say that. Without judging anyone or anything, you wouldn’t have an opinion on anyone or anything. If someone did something that was against your beliefs, you wouldn’t judge them? Am I alone on this? 

I agree with what many others have already said in this thread.  

 

However, first I think we need to define what we mean before we can meaningfully discuss this matter, which others on this thread have done :)    Some people seem to be defining it as having an attitude in which you think you are better than other people, or that you are doing judging others for doing things that you yourself do, etc.   Others are using the definition of judging as making a decision about something, etc.

 

I'm pretty sure that everyone would agree that having an attitude in which you believe you are superior to others is bad.   I think we can also agree that hypocrisy is bad.  Both of these things reflect negatively on the person making the statements.   However, we probably have all done these things at one time or another, even if we didn't intentionally mean to.  That doesn't excuse the behavior, but I do think we are all guilty of both.

 

As to the other definition -- that judgement means making a decision about something -- then it is a good thing.  We all make decisions every day, thus we are exercising our judgment.   We should be making informed decisions (and yes, this statement is judgmental in nature :)  )   It's necessary for us to make judgements.  It's our hope that we use good judgement rather than bad judgement.  

 

And because we live in a real world, we do need to make judgements about the actions and the words that others say.  We need to have an opinion on important topics.  This doesn't mean that we need to be condescending towards those who don't agree with us, or who do things differently than we do.   We can say, "that is not a wise choice."  "Or that is not moral."  "Or that is false."  If we are respectful of the other person, and we have examined ourselves first, yes we can make judgments about the behavior or teaching of other people.

 

We also live within a historical/social context, and that automatically means that we will have opinions on how to live.   For those who are part of a religious community, then there is also a religious context that we live in.   All of this influences us, and weighs in the judgments we make.   Some judgments that people make from this context can be wrong.   Some judgments made from this context are neutral -- not necessarily good or bad -- they are just part of what we know.  Some judgements made from this context are fine.

 

We all have a concept of what being good is, and what being bad is; what is right and what is wrong.   There is no way around this.  When we call something "good," we are pronouncing a judgment.  When we call something bad, we are also giving a judgment.   I think as humans we need these concepts.   Otherwise there would be no morality at all.   Killing would not be considered wrong in a judge-free society.  I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in that kind of world.

 

And you're right -- everyone has beliefs, whether or not these beliefs are political, religious, moral, logical, etc.  We all have them, and we all make judgments about these kinds of issues everyday. 

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There's a guy I've known for well over ten years, we've discussed it and agreed that we'll never be friends.  We just don't like each other in the least.  I can't put my finger on the reason we don't get along, but we just don't.  It's not a matter of his intelligence, political views, religious views, views on WTM, or any other things like that.  He's an intelligent guy, he's fun to be around, but we just will never be friends.  For me what that shows is that we can not mesh at all with someone, but that doesn't mean something is wrong with them.  I think that's where a lot of people get confused with the judgmental attitude.  If you can accept that we're all different, it's much easier to not judge.

 

Now of course, just like everyone else, I have moments where I am judgmental, but I prefer to consider why that is the case rather than just assuming someone else is lesser than me.  A lot of times people want to judge others over religious differences, and this is perfectly normal to happen.  Rather than thinking they're a bad person, or that you are morally superior to them, it's sometimes best to learn about their religion and why they follow it.  This doesn't mean you have to agree with them, but only accept that what's true to them is no different than what may be true to you.  We're not the ones to make the final decision, so why act as if we can?  Peace and love come from within us, so when we judge we corrupt ourselves rather than making ourselves pure and full of light.

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Well everyone is judgemental, no such thing as not being judgemental. If you see someon and say "Hey they look like a cool person!" That's still judging, just not negatively. I judge people but I don't let it cloud reality or whether or not ill give them a chance.

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I admit that I have on occasions judged people. however as a Christian I try not to judge people but I think people do it whether they realize it or not but they may or may now always do so intentionally. I've also met other people who claim they don't judge people and they seem to be the first ones to judge in a given situation. so I try to stay away from what I call self righteous people. These are people who don't think they ever make any mistakes. In my opinion the only way somebody can say they don't ever judge or make a mistake is if you're perfect in every sense of the word and Jesus has been the only one that could say that he's never made a mistake. Sorry if I came across as preaching.

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I judge everyone I know. I have a properly-functioning brain; why not use it?

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Same here. People tell me I shouldn't judge whenever I raise my opinion. For me what I am doing is not "judging". It is seeing the wrong and pointing it out. There is nothing wrng in that.

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I honestly think I am a relatively non-judgmental person.

I knew this guy that judged everyone.

That girl? She's a whore. She's ugly.

That guy? He looks poor. He probably stole that bicycle he's riding.

I guess I'm just more objective. I look at facts but sometimes don't form opinions about them.

She slept with 10 people? Oh, okay. No judging.

That guy that stole food from the grocery store? Has a drug problem? Some people call him a waste of space. Think that he's somehow less than they are.

I don't really judge. I feel bad for him, maybe he's trying to feed his family, but can't kick his drug problem that started when he was raised by his abusive parents.

The thing is, you don't know someone else's life. You don't know what they've been through and you don't know what goes on in their head.

I'm not saying I don't judge; of course I do. Everyone judges. Your brain works so fast that you look at a person and can probably judge 100 things about them within a second, without even realizing it.

But I have always been less judgmental than many of my peers and family members. I don't know why, but I've always felt that way. Sometimes I think it's a blessing because I can appreciate people in different, more objective ways. Sometimes it's more of a curse because I end up looking stupid or naive.

So...those are my thoughts! I know everyone judges, but it is possible to be more objective than subjective, and to stop yourself from imposing your thoughts/values onto others.

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