Invincible

Ladies, when you're walking down the aisle....

29 posts in this topic

...what do you think about the tradition of being escorted by your father? I've always thought it to be a really cool tradition where the father "gives away" his daughter on her wedding day. Not because I view women as their father's property or anything. To me, it's more about a father symbolically handing over the role of protector over to her husband. 

 

I also know this tradition is not always possible if the bride doesn't have a close relationship with her father or if he is deceased. If either case applies to you, would you want some other prominent male figure in your life to escort you like a brother or uncle?

 

I know I said I like this tradition, but if I ever have a daughter, this would be bittersweet. While I would be overjoyed to see her get married, I would be saddened knowing that I would no longer be the man in her life anymore. *sigh....

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think its beautiful if she has a great relationship with her father especially; but for me Im walking myself down the aisle since my dad didnt raise me and I havent had any close protective male figure in my life. So I guess it would be symbolic to my independence  ;)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To me, it's more about a father symbolically handing over the role of protector over to her husband. 

 

The problem is in my case, my father was not my protector. For the vast majority of my teen years - really up until I was 19 - I always doubted that I had unconditional love from him. When I was a teen, he did not do his job as a father. I was hurt, but now I am disappointed. I would rather my mother walk me down the isle, but seeing as I am Jewish, it is not at all uncommon for both parents to walk their daughter down the isle. I will definitely ask both parents to do it. I'm not sure my father has earned the right to do it by himself. He loves me, and he was a great father when I was a child, but something happened and he began to feel like a stranger to me.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think its a nice tradition, but it won't be that way for me. My parents are divorced and growing up only lived with my mom (and my 2 siblings). We do visit my dad a few times a year, but that's really it.. I don't know if he would even be able to come to my wedding due to different things that I'm not going to get into.. but I think I would want my mom to walk me down the aisle :)

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah...I'll be walking myself down the aisle. There likely won't be many family there in general. Hopefully my husband won't be too disappointed with that.

Only my aunt and my cousin went to my high school graduation if that's any indication.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Same here. Dad didn't do his job.

 

Gosh our generation is messed up. Lets hope the next generation of dads steps up.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. 

 

For you girls that say your dad couldn't do it and you'd be walking by yourself, would you consider your mother doing it? I know it's supposed to be a male realitive but if I couldn't have my dad walk me I would want my mom to do it. 

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is just personally my thinking, I havent had the closest relationship with my dad at all growing up, and i did mention to his partner once that i wouldnt be having him walk me down the isle (this was when i was in my teens.. ahh the angst) But as i got older i realised, that it would probably kill my dad, not to be able to walk his only daughter down the isle, i know he loves me (even if he finds it hard to show) and all the stuff that happened to me as a kid, (and there was some horrible stuff) hes still my dad and I feel like i'd be honouring him for the good stuff and the bad.

 

All my experiences shaped me into who i am today and will be on my wedding day, and i owe him even for the horrible experiences, because they make and shape who you are. #

 

In the event that neither of my parents could, i would get my little brother too :)

 

#EDIT: i forgot to add.. and im PRETTY AWESOME!!!!  :P  :D  :lol:

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

THAT IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA.

 

Thats it you guys. My mom is gonna be walking me down the aisle! It makes perfect sense, she was both my mother and father.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My dad passed away over 12 years ago, so that never really was an option for me.  If he were still alive I would have wanted him to walk me down in the aisle in heartbeat.  Well, there's also the thing that my husband and I eloped, but my mom was there for it, in fact she was the one to sign off as a witness.  Sadly the husband's parents couldn't make it because of health issues.

 

If we ever do something more official to reaffirm our vows or such, I would totally have one of my family's close friends walk me down the aisle.  He's been there for us for many years, and after my dad passed was the closest thing I ever had to a father figure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like most ladies said here, my mother will walk me down the aisle or I'll walk by myself. If by some chance my father and I begin to have a better relationship then he and my mother can.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dang, I am sorry so many of you did not have close relationships with your dads. This just makes me want to be the best dad I can possibly be even more.

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would definitely want my dad to walk me down the aisle. I don't think in modern society that it has any of the whole property association left, I think it's just a sweet father-daughter moment.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think in anyone's eyes anymore, any sane eyes at least, that walking your daughter down the isle is giving her up as if she's property, I think it's just a very nice father daughter moment, the moment she is truly grown up.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dang, I am sorry so many of you did not have close relationships with your dads. This just makes me want to be the best dad I can possibly be even more.

 

I'm glad to hear that! :) I am surprised that so many girls here have had fathers who didn't do their job well at all. Proof that girls with "daddy issues" don't necessarily become strippers or go into porn. :P

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear a lot of girls haven't had a good relationship with their father too! I think it's great Vince that it inspires you to be an even better dad. I am fortunate that my father has always been there for me and I will have him walk me down the aisle in a hearbeat! If for some reason my dad couldn't, then I'm not sure who would. Maybe my mother or older brother?

 



 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wasn't going to share my view, since i thought I was the only one, but I see that I am not.
I wish my dad was there for me but he was not.. I have made some choices I wish I had not as a result.  My mom would not be the one to fill that role either. Fortunately, the later half of my 20s, my dad and I have mended our relationship.  So much so that he will walk me down the aisle some day.  For that I am thankful.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I definitely want my dad to give me away. That's always been really important to me  :)

 

My dad's father died when my dad was young, so he gave all of his younger sisters away (he's the eldest brother). I think that was really sweet, so I could definitely see a brother giving a bride away, as well (although I only have a sister). I've heard of a lot of brides being given away by their moms, too, which is nice! I just wouldn't want to walk alone.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I know I said I like this tradition, but if I ever have a daughter, this would be bittersweet. While I would be overjoyed to see her get married, I would be saddened knowing that I would no longer be the man in her life anymore. *sigh....

Don't worry, Envincebal, a daddy's girl will always be a daddy's girl.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love my dad so much, and it would be really important to me to have him walk me down the aisle. I think it is a great tradition! If my dad wasn't there for it, then I would have some other family member do it. People matter more to me than anything else, and we only get a certain amount of time with the people that we love the most so I think it is extra important to keep them involved in your lives.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If my Dad is around when that day comes it will have to be him.  It'll mean so much to him, I remember how proud he was walking my older sister down the aisle.

 

If he's not. It would be my mother. If neither are around at that time I'd go it alone.

 

I look at it not that he's giving me  away or that I'm his property, to me it's a chance to honor him . let him have a special moment share in one of my special moments. Kind of a thank you for being a great dad for always being there for me even when I didn't know it. The same reasons I'd have my sisters stand up for me as my bridesmaids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Probably with me and my future husband as that is what Cecil and Rosa did in the DS version if I recall (I can't remember the other versions for some reason) . Plus, some Catholic dioceses don't allow the whole father-daughter thing, the bride and groom are to walk together with their parents behind them or something if I recall. Don't know the rules for my diocese though. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i would want my daddy to walk me down the aisle.

 

[that would be a dream come true]

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, most people on here know that I am not close to my dad... as I have mentioned before. If you don't know, I am not. We rarely talk, in fact it's been a few years now. He didn't even call and let me know that my grandpa had passed away, 17 years ago. He was hardly there for me growing up, either.

 

Do I think it's a lovely tradition? Absolutely. Do I wish my dad and I were close? Yes. Do I think I'm going to ask him to take that honor? No.

 

Actually, I think I'd like one of male friends to take that honor. They are always there for me to talk to, get advice, etc. Besides, I don't have too many male figures in my life that I think fit the role of someone I feel that way about. Simply because I agree that it IS like they are passing on the role of 'protector'. To me, at least. I never felt that from my dad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've always planned on walking down the aisle solo, even before my relationship with my father was completely terminated. I'm the only one who can give myself away as far as I'm concerned! :D If I were to want someone to walk me down the aisle, then it would be my mother, not my brother or a male friend, because she's definitely been a far more prominent person in my life than any man has. I wouldn't want to feel like I had to pick a random dude just for the sake of continuing a tradition. If my mom passed away before my wedding, then the next logical person to me would be my (female) best friend. But, like I said, I'll more than likely be going solo anyway.

 

I think Jewish weddings have a lovely tradition where the bride *and* the groom are each walked down the aisle by *both* parents. Then it really seems more likely both 'kids' are being equally given to each other, and is more symbolic of forming a new family and passing into adulthood than it is about passing a woman from one man to another. Actually now that I think about it, I wonder if my boyfriend (who is from a Jewish family) will want that for our wedding.... Anyway, if my future kids choose to get married in my lifetime, I think it'd be cool if they kept that tradition going.  :)

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now