Englishguy1988

Good thing or outdated?

34 posts in this topic

Another question what about these boundaries when I am married? Keep the boundaries or not? Or ask her first?

Dont be afraid of that...there is nothing so sexy as a man respectfully and gently taking the lead!!

When Im married I want all boundaries to melt away. Of course I want my husband's respect but I also want my husband to feel totally comfortable with my body and in touching me whenever he feels like (well not in public maybe lol). I think that should be a two way street as I want to be totally comfortable with him and free to demonstrate my affection whenever I want!!

I will have waited so long for him, I would be disappointed if we still had boundaries when married.

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to me, there's being polite...and then there's being a drone. if i'm cold, and he offers me his coat out of pure selflessness, i'd happily accept his kindness. and i'd do the same for him (or at least offer...many guys seem uncomfortable with the idea of accepting a female's help). but then some things are just silly, like expecting him to open doors for me and pull out my chair. he's my partner, not my servant.

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Oh please dont get me wrong, I certainly dont expect a guy to hold doors open for me etc. I would never ask him to do so and if he didnt do it it wouldn't bother me.

But all the same when he does it of his own accord I do appreciate it. Not from any misplaced sense of superiority or anything but just because I recognise that he is trying to be nice and to go out of his way to treat me well. I do like that because of the intention behind it.

I would do the same for him. I like treating my boyfriend well and making him feel like he is extra special to me (because he is). I do things for him that I wouldnt do for anyone else.

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I think those are all sweet, not outdated or old-fashioned. Most guys who do that are just being polite and respectful.

The only time I had an issue with that was with my very kind, 91-year-old Great-Uncle. He was 90 at the time, and was taking me out for dinner. I opened the door for him (because he is very old and I respect my elders,) and he promptly told me to shut the door. So I did. Then he moved around me, and opened the door himself, and said, "no woman should ever hold a door open for a man. It isn't proper behavior." He didn't mean to sound inappropriate or anything (he genuinely feels that way because he was born in 1921,) but I was quite shocked over the whole ordeal. He is a very sweet, chivalrous man but he does seem to have this idea of how females are supposed to act or something.

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Waitingforyou: Wasn't pride and prejudice written by Jane Austin? (or I suppose it could've been one of the brontë sisters'?... Or I'm wrong lol)

That's cool :-) do you know what castle it was?... Talking about marriage did you know there's a church in Devon that's only acessible on foot and its on top of a steep hill... They had some building work done on it last year and the builders had to carry all the building materials up the hill!

envinceable: tell them its called having manners and its also considered having manners to say thankyou when someone holds the door for you! Although over here (not so much in the citys though) most people will hold the door for someone else male/female/old/young/whatever but I guess that could just be because I live near a fairly small town

marriagematerial: The reason I asked about boundaries when married is basically because I don't want my wife to think I'm only intrested in her for sex... That's if she can keep her hands off me... When she not trying to get ME into bed :-D... In public?... Just find somewhere secluded ;-)

Obviously I want me and my wife to be compleately confortable touching each other and I definately agree with guys taking the lead!

noelle: I definately agree he's not your servant... And no woman would get away with trying to treat me like that... Even if I was married to her... The chair thing is, to me at least, I think a nice thing to do for your wife when you take her out to a nice restaurant, after all why not accompany a nice restaurant, meal, etc with nice manners?... And as I said before the door thing is just considered good manners where I come from (and women also hold doors open for guys too!!!)

Just a question why do you think its wrong for a woman to have a little femininity because personally I love that in a woman... Men and women are different why does that have to be a bad thing? (P.S. I'm not saying either is better, just different)

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Yes Pride and Prejudice was written by Jane Austin, But some of the manners you talk of were very prominent in that time. Hence why i said i would love to live in a Pride and Prejudice novel. Because of all the chivalry and what not. Im not sure what castle, but my aunty actually grew up in the castle, and her family still own it. On the note of carrying building materials up a hill, that is ridiculous! imagine how heavy they would be O.o haha.

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In public?... Just find somewhere secluded ;-)

lol :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: dont get me wrong I'm not against PDA's.... I just think that what goes on between me an my husband wont be fit for public eyes ;)

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