luxorcairo

Would you marry someone who isnt your faith, but is WTM?

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Aargh this can be frustrating! I love god but this is a hard one! Even if he was a looser chrisitan id consider! Would you marry someone who doesnt share the same faith as you?

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I defintently would! I'm Agnostic but the others person faith doesn't matter to me at all.

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I'd marry someone of different belief system as long as they weren't radical. But I see zero problem with people who will only marry within their faith. That's their preference and I only have respect for it.

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I would as long as there is some type of spiritual faith it wouldnt matter to me.

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Look I have had a little experience with things not working out between two waiters who met and even of the same faith but it didn't work out. (Protestant -Catholic) Look at least for me my decision to wait is based and reaffirmed in and by my faith so I don't know if I could ever consider marrying someone outside of my faith especially since marriage for me is a spiritual joining of two individuals in faith. As far as dating goes that a tough one...until I had that last experience I probably would have said most any Christian would do so long as they were WTM...(Mormon, catholic, etc,). However it brought me to realize that it is important to not just share the same morals but the same beliefs as well. Since for those that have faith it makes up who they are as individual; shaping their morals, their politics, their life choices and forming who they are. For some it is a matter of being more or less devout; I would disagree since people can help each other grow in their faith. However in a marriage it is very important to be 'evenly yoked' in all things so if someone has less faith than the other going in they must be willing to meet the other on their ground or they must be willing to meet them on theirs. So while I would say that it would make it a challenge you could date someone outside the faith but I think it would almost be an impossibility to marry outside of your faith. But this of course depends on how serious you and your partner take your faith and if you share other commonalties that you may deem greater than faith. However if faith is at the top or even near the top of your list you should remember why you put it there....just saying

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No. That's the most important thing in looking for a husband-not one of the most important, or pretty important, it's the most important thing. I can't imagine marrying someone of a different faith, or only a "sort-of" Christian. Faith is going to be the foundation of our relationship, and I expect God to come before me to him as God will always come first to me. Marriage, to me, is a union of two people under God, not with God standing in the sidelines or just with one person. Premarital counseling by a spiritual leader, prayer together, going to church together, the list goes on. Faith is just such a fundamental part of a relationship for me that I couldn't even date someone who I know isn't from my faith, and I doubt I would date someone in the first place without knowing their beliefs. 

 

In addition to just bonding the two of us together, I want our children to be raised in the same faith. Why would I put any more barriers between my children and the path to heaven? Even if he was fine with them going to church, it would be such a challenge to raise children how I want to in a family that was split that way. 

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I think its so hard if you like the person then you find out they aernt your faith

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I defintently would! I'm Agnostic but the others person faith doesn't matter to me at all.

So if your wife was christian, would you allow her to to take your kids to church

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So if your wife was christian, would you allow her to to take your kids to church

Sure I would, why not? I went to church when I was little, no choice in the matter, and I went to Sunday school for a while too. I feel that learning all that helped me make a more informed decision on what I choose to believe in :D

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As a teenager, I had a huge crush on my atheist best friend for about five years. During that time, I tried very hard to ignore statements about how people of different faiths should not be together. I looked for proof of why it would be okay to date him, why religion didn't matter. I did a pretty good matter of sweeping the matter under the rug, but every so often, it would come back out and nag at me. Had he ever been interested in dating me, I think I probably would have gone for it. But over time, I began to see that we weren't compatible in many ways, far more than religious differences. I moved on, and only later, when I wasn't trying so hard to ignore them, did I begin to understand some of the value in arguments to marry someone who shares your faith. Since then, I met one of my best friends, who recently married a wonderful Christian man. Observing them, I noticed elements of their relationship based on their faith that I hadn't even considered before, like the way they would pray together. Some of the ways their faith bonded them were really attractive, things that I realized that I want to.

 

So my current desire to marry someone who shares my faith has less to do with it being "wrong" not to, and more to do with the advantages that this shared bond would present.

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I wouldnt have a problem marrying another religion except my parents wpuldnt be to happy. They dont even agree with me marrying a catholic!

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I will only marry/date someone with the same faith as me.  I welcome friends of all backgrounds though as long as they have similar values such as respect for others.

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I definitely would, with two exceptions: if she was a fanatic or a scientologist. 

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I'm an Atheist. I don't mind if my husband is Agnostic, but I would want to raise our children as Atheists. He'd have to be okay with that. It's unlikely he would be if he believed strongly in God. My dad raised me as an Atheist, and my mom did subtly try to introduce me to the idea of God, she did so through Christianity which I wanted nothing to do with (I'm Jewish,) and I was way too stubborn in my mind-set to believe in God. She was upset at my dad but I don't think they had a real fight over it or anything. Still, I don't want to be in a situation like that. My mom agreed to raise me mostly Jewish, but she wasn't happy about the whole Atheist thing. And I bet my dad would have been very unhappy if I believed in God. I think when it comes to children, parents should have the exact same idea of how religious, or not religious, they want their children to be. I have Jewish cousins who married Christians, but their children are being raised 100% Jewish. The spouses don't care at all and are very involved in Judaism. But I think that is kind of rare. I don't want any conflicts over how to raise our children. So to be safe, I think I would just marry an Atheist or Agnostic.

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I would like to marry someone who is of the Restoration faith but they are a rare breed of men. I know of many because I live in an area where the faith congregated but to find a single one, who gets along with me, makes me laugh, who I am attracted to and who is attracted to me, etc is going to be extra difficult and I've already narrowed down my search as it is with my deal breakers so I am open to any Christian but I always say that God knows best so I'll leave it to him. I'm not going to quit looking for a Restoration guy but if God brings me someone else and lets me know he is the one for me, that's how it shall be. God knows the future and I do not. He will know what will work best. :)

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As a Christian, the Bible commands that I marry within the faith so that is what I will do. Aside from that, it just makes sense to me. Assuming you take your faith seriously, it is the very foundation of who you are as a person. Your values and worldview is shaped by your religious views. While interfaith marriages can work, I am convinced they do not have the potential of being as intimate as one of the same faith. I want to achieve physical, emotional AND spiritual unity with my future wife and I believe the only way all three are possible is if I marry another Christian.

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It depends. If we're not going to have children (which I'm open to) it doesn't matter as much to me. I would just want us to be somewhat on the same page. If we're going to have kids, then I would want want us a bit more unified, though we don't necessarily have to be exactly the same. I admit this has been vague, but honestly I don't know all of the exact details of what would and wouldn't be an issue for me.

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Probably not. I'm a Christian, and the Bible is clear about not entering into "unequally yoked" relationships. If the spouses aren't of the same faith, they probably won't share core morals or beliefs (even if they are waiting till marriage). They won't agree on the terms of the marriage, and the marriage vows themselves will be viewed differently. And it will be a problem to decide how to raise the children. Finally, it would feel pretty bad for someone to go to church without their spouse.

 

I strongly prefer to marry another Christian (preferably a Roman Catholic, but I don't require that).

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I'm sure that this question has been asked before...not sure though lol

Yea, I asked this question a long time ago. Using different words, of course. 

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I don't have any faith. Am I allowed to answer?

 

I like to think a relationship between a believer and non-believer could work, because there's a high chance that whenever I find a girl that's a virgin waiter she's religious. However, I don't think it would work if she loves God (or whatever deity she believes in) more than she loves me. That sounds selfish, but she will be the highest love and priority in my life, and the thought that she loves a being that I'm not even convinced exists more than she loves me would be a hard pill to swallow. Even when I believed in God I feared him more than I loved him. I never wrapped my head around how earnestly the Christians around me expressed their unconditional love for him. I don't like the word fanatic, but if she is "on fire for God" I don't think it would work. I would also need her to at least think critically about her faith. If she at least admits she could be wrong (in the same way I admit she could be right) but has logical reasons to believe, and doesn't simply believe because of some emotional experience or because she was raised that way, then I think I could work with that. From experience I know how tempting holding onto belief can be to the inside-unbeliever, and I wouldn't hold it against her if she chooses to remain in her faith despite any doubt. 

 

Raising kids of course would be tricky. I wouldn't want them indoctrinated or scared into believing by Hell (that wasn't my parents' intent but it happened somewhat), but if my wife were willing to let me voice my side of things so they'd be able to choose for themselves when they understand enough then I think I would be content. 

 

Also, like most here who think sharing their faith will bring them closer, I think sharing unbelief would as well. It hasn't been a fun journey to unbelief, and it's been lonely, so finally having someone offline to relate to and find solace in would be nice. Of course, maybe I'll believe again one day and all of this will be irrelevant.

 

Sorry I kind of rambled.

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No, I definitely couldn't. My faith means everything to me, and I want to share it with the man I spend my life with. Also, given that I'm going to be a pastor, it might look just a smidge odd if my husband wasn't also a Christian  :P

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I couldn't marry a non-Christian. I have a good male friend from high school who is Jewish and we've always gotten along great and been really close, but we never dated I am Catholic and he is Jewish. We both knew we'd never convert to the other person's religion and since it's important to both us we just never entered into a relationship.

 

I am with someone now who is just Christian and doesn't identify with a particular denomination. His family went to churches of several denominations when he was younger. He hasn't been for over 5 years unless it's with me or if he's playing his trumpet at a church. You would think it wouldn't be a huge deal, but believe it or it has caused a few arguments. He has been looking into Catholicism and doesn't know how he feels about it, so it's hard. I love him so much though that I am learning how to deal with it if he doesn't convert, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. He has told me he wouldn't object to raising children Catholic and I also would not object to him taking them to a different denomination if he ends up identifying with one.

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This is a very controversial topic. When I was 19 I was still very religious and I had a strong desire to follow God. I met a girl that I really liked whom was Agnostic as was her family and she was a genuinely kind person. I had spoken to my mast several times on this topic stating that just because someone does not believe in God does not make them a bad person, and they should be given the opportunity to be a part of your life. He had a very firm stance on only marry those who are religious and like-minded to you. While I recognize that the Bible states this, I find that following the bible to the letter both protects you, but also adds many dimensions of challenge to life.

 

My issue was that I believe if someone does not believe or as yet to believe in God, that does not make them a bad person. If they are a genuinely kind person who goes through the world that reflects the actions of Jesus then wouldn't that make them worthy enough? No. They believe in God and you can date the person, or they don't and you keep on walking. Myself personally, I disagree with this completely. While I acknowledge that active religious people have an honest desire to follow God, as well as a code, there need to be exceptions to rules. If they're we're not, for example, more innocent people would die under the death penalty.

I believe that if someone is a genuinely kind person, that lives a life of honestly, compassion and basically doesn't want the world to burn they are good enough for me. While I hope to potentially marry someone else who is WTM, I will accept someone who has not. My rationale for that is merely that they lived a life before they mat me, just as I did, and we all make choice, and we live with those choices.

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I used to think that all that mattered in a relationship was that the guy was of the same faith as me.   However, I have learned a lot since then, and I now realize that it is essential to me still, but it is not the only requirement that I have.   I've learned that so many people define "Christian" differently, that I need to dig a bit deeper to find out whether or not we actually share the same beliefs.

 

Also, there are other considerations besides religious belief -- personality, interests, and the like....

 

Although the person doesn't have to believe the same as me before we get into a relationship, I would want them to be of the same faith as me by the time we were in a serious relationship.   I would much prefer it if the man was already a Christian before I met him, but if he isn't, then I believe that the Holy Spirit could work in his heart to bring him to faith.....

 

I don't want to set out to missinoary date though.   Whatever the circumstances, I am open to God working through the whole process.

 

I know for certain that I could not say "yes," to a marriage proposal unless we were in agreement on important doctrines and practices.

 

Now, he and I don't have to match on every point of doctrine, as I doubt I'll find someone who agrees with every single thing....but we do have to be in agreement on the essentials, the basic tenants of the Christian faith.   Also, if he makes something that I don't believe is essential and essential, then it would be very tough for us to be in a relationship if we differed on that thing.

 

So, we don't have to be of the same denomination (or non-denomination), but we do have to have the same basic beliefs.   We would have to be able to worship together in the same church after the wedding.  This would be something that he and I would discuss, and it would also depend upon where we lived, and the specific congregations in that community.

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