rose4

im waiting, he isnt ready to get married for a while and is very sexually frustrated

7 posts in this topic

im 22. a virgin. hes 27 and has 2 kids.. we live our daily lives as if we are married, except the sex factor. hes going through a difficult time right now and is deffinetly not ready to get married anytime soon. but is struggling so much with not being able to have that connection with me.

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Hello mate, Sorry to hear things are not great and im sure they will improve. I guess from reading your story id say stick to what you think is right and I guess I feel that if someone is going through a difficult stage then now is not the best time to make massive decisions in life. Coast along,support and see if a little committments comes along.

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Hello mate, Sorry to hear things are not great and im sure they will improve. I guess from reading your story id say stick to what you think is right and I guess I feel that if someone is going through a difficult stage then now is not the best time to make massive decisions in life. Coast along,support and see if a little committments comes along.

I agree. "Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same." - Isaac Slade

 

Sorry, I am not a guy. I'll be quiet now. lol

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He has at least one hand, doesn't he? He can take care of himself.lol

 

Joking aside, just do what you feel is best for you in the end, 100% with what Happy said above.

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Rose:

 

If he can't honor you and/or restrain himself, then I'd have questions about how much of himself can he be expected to give for the rest of your lives. Sounds like he's the typical dude, putting his screaming hormones ahead of everything else in life.

 

That being said, if you guys are so close that you're acting like you're married, there does come a point to relieve one's self or remove one's self from the waste receptacle. If you guys love each other, then it's only fair to move forward or back. If he likes it then he should put a ring on it. If he's not willing to commit, then don't you deserve better than that?

 

You still have all of yourself to give. Don't throw your gift away because his testosterone is shrieking at him.

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Sorry Im not a dude...but what might be helpful is if he could gain encouragement from any guy friends you may have waiting until marriage? Maybe you can all hang out together or something if you have any. Are you guys spiritual at all? If so maybe he would want to join a guys' spiritual group for encouragement as well. I don't necessarily think getting married just because of sex is a good idea...and it doesnt sound like he wants than anyway, but you don't want to get married just because of that strain anyway but oh here's a question, has he made the decision to wait on his own as well? Find out if he is trying to get you to give in or if he is seeking help because he supports your decision. Sorry if this message is redundant haha.

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Hey rose4 here's something I've learned being a waiter and in a relationship.  You know what is stronger than a physical connection? An emotional one dear. Set a firm foundation with working on that first because once you start to do physical things, even if it's not all the way, a guy will lose respect for you(when you're not his wife). He won't say but inside he will, it just happens so save that for when the relationship progresses because in time more physical things will transpire as you go further along, maybe not all the way but things do happen. Boys are silly but you don't want to gamble with giving your virginity away. You having it still is a very special thing and with the right person he will love it and treasure it. I was in a similar situation before I met my now fiance and after a few short dates knew it wouldn't last, grant it he was a good guy he was divorced and had been sexually active so his needs where very strong and I could not meet those nor did I want to put myself in a situation that would cause me to so it wasn't for me. I'm not saying that is the case for you but becareful with his intentions. Yes, guys sex drives are very strong but they can wait and there are other ways to meet eachother needs and if you sleep with him he may stay with you but then again he might not. Getting to know all layers and sides of a guy is better to know when you've done a minimal amount of things with him and can decide whether or not it's a deal breaker vs. feeling stuck and confused. Good luck dear. Best wishes!

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