luxorcairo

Possessive boyfriends

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I have been told that a boyfriend should never act like they own you. I have seen this sadly. Especially in Hs you see guys act like their girl is theirs. Since when? Why do some guys act like this? It drives me up the wall.

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They act like it because that's just the way their mind works, nothing can really change it. They do love the person and that's why they are so possessive over them.

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Some would say that a boyfriend acts possessive because the girl lets them.  Many women unknowingly give their power away, usually because they didn't know it was theirs to begin with.  I've also observed that many men who prefer to possess cannot be changed.  You just have to give the boot to an unhealthy relationship.  It's one thing to be cherished. It's another thing to own.

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Everything in moderation lol

It's fine as long as he's not all up in my business every minute of everyday lol If he was, then that would be painfully awkward without a doubt but I'm assuming most men don't even have that much free time on their hands so it shouldn't be a huge problem lol

But if he starts laying down crazy rules like,"You need to ask for my permission before you go out." in that case he is seriously tripping and don't know who he's dealing with lol

Subtle expressions of jealousy every now and then is fine but if they do it too often it just becomes overbearing and makes you want to run for the exit because the relationship will no longer seem healthy or safe. 

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I dont think they should be tempted int jealousy. Why would i want to make a bf jealous? Its not funny i think. I want to be a free person, and i dont think having a bf should revoke that privilege

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A cute example of a guy being sort of possessive(?) or more like caring (?) would be....

 

If I'm out and about and accidentally forget to call him and it's been more than several hours, he better be blowing up my phone trying to find out where I am, what I'm doing, and if I'm still safe or not. lol his azz shouldn't be sitting around doing nothing lol especially if it's getting really dark outside lol lol

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I dont think they should be tempted int jealousy. Why would i want to make a bf jealous? Its not funny i think. I want to be a free person, and i dont think having a bf should revoke that privilege

I agree. We should always make every effort to prevent our partners from feeling any kind of jealousy but you can't always control how others will perceive or feel about a situation. :(

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So if your out late and he doesn't call would you be mad? I really could care less if someone's late or anything.

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I agree someone shouldn't be possessive but, I believe that to an extent my girlfriend is mine and she will be especially mine after marriage.

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I gotta side with Lexia, everything in moderation.

A bit of jealousy and/or "possessiveness" is indeed healthy in my opine.

What of the other side of the coin, a possessive g/f or wife, I think I'd like that, just a bit.

Shows she cares, that it's not simply an infatuation, maybe I'm irreplaceable.

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I think there is a difference between possessive and controlling. Romantic relationships are possessive by design in that you possess another person's heart or commitment. That is a good thing, controlling is not. Controlling is when someone tells you what you can or cannot do with your life.

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Depends...

Explain what you mean when you say "guys act like their girl is theirs".

 

Its interesting how its more socially acceptable for a girl to be possessive of her boyfriend than it is for a guy to be possessive of his girlfriend, because I've seen more possessiveness from girls. I wonder if its because not too long ago women were actually treated as possessions.

 

I think there is a difference between possessive and controlling. Romantic relationships are possessive by design in that you possess another person's heart or commitment. That is a good thing, controlling is not. Controlling is when someone tells you what you can or cannot do with your life.

Or a romantic relationship is actually when people are in companionship rather than in possession of one another. The nature of possession/possessiveness is control and dominance.

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Darn its bed time here so I will take a rain check on this one, happy to give a chaps opinion tomorrow xxxxxx. Col.

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Depends...

Explain what you mean when you say "guys act like their girl is theirs".

 

Its interesting how its more socially acceptable for a girl to be possessive of her boyfriend than it is for a guy to be possessive of his girlfriend, because I've seen more possessiveness from girls. I wonder if its because not too long ago women were actually treated as possessions.

 

Or a romantic relationship is actually when people are in companionship rather than in possession of one another. The nature of possession/possessiveness is control and dominance.

The last thing i meed is dominance. We aernt dogs. You cant pee on a person and own them. I hate dominance. I agree with companionship. Why cant we just be companions instead of owned?

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I believe there is a measurable difference between the two. For example, if the boyfriend is being bitchy about the girls activities or who she sees then that is unacceptable. For example, I know a girl whose ex-boyfriend would delete male friend off her facebook that he didn't like or approve of. That is f&%kin retarded.

I approach that situation like this (because this is what I did in my last relationship) I met my then girlfriend and cared about her. But I also knew that she had a group of friends before me and that some of them were male. I can name several of them. Now these were merely platonic male friends, but I never felt jealous or worried if she saw them. I felt this way because it is her life, she is entitled to have friends, and it would be unfair and unrealistic for me to tell her she can't see male friends that she has known longer than I. Our situation was a bit different because we were both exclusive to each other and we highly disapproved of cheating. That made it easy. But the general point stands. The boyfriend needs to respect that she has male friends and probably has had a few prior to dating you.

Now, if she had male friends that she would have sleepovers with, that could raise eyebrows and make you question what's going on. However, I don't know how often that would or does actually happen. I was always supportive of her friends and her co-workers. Again, because she knew them before me, but I also trusted her. Furthermore, her friends knew I genuinely and sincerely cared about her so there was never any awkwardness. How to avoid land-mines like this? TALK TO EACH OTHER.

 

As for caring, well I cared about her well being and desired to do things that made her happy. Likewise, I liked receiving attention from her. I never expected her to call me or tell me where she was, etc, but if she was driving home from my place or I hers, we would request one text the other. This was a "I respect you and want to let you know I am safe" communication.

Finally, I will say I do believe it can be a fine line to walk. Where do you balance and where do you know what to do and what is pushing it? That is something you have to figure out. I do believe it is good if both people can see that one and another actually cares about each other. That should remove the fog and make it clear. Granted, if that were true, divorce wouldn't be 60%.

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Hey I took a raincheck on this and now Justin has got it to a tee well done chap.

Ok curious about a little twist to the sinareo. She is not a waiter and has ex boyfriends/friends who she has had sexual "relations" with

Is it ok for you to say hey im uncomfotable with this I would prefer it if you did not socialise with them ? Or not ?

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Hey I took a raincheck on this and now Justin has got it to a tee well done chap. Ok curious about a little twist to the sinareo. She is not a waiter and has ex boyfriends/friends who she has had sexual "relations" with Is it ok for you to say hey im uncomfotable with this I would prefer it if you did not socialise with them ? Or not ?

I personally think ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends should be completely out of the picture (this includes facebook friends).  But don't expect them to give everyone the boot until you two are exclusive.  I think there should be clear rules and boundaries mutually agreed upon in a relationship.  If both people are in adherence, then there should be trust (not possessiveness).

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When my husband and I were dating he was possessive and now that we are married he is still possessive and I still love it!

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When dating I am a little possessive but when married I will be not be possessive because she has a life to live. I will text her some lovely cute messages to ensure she knows I love everyday.

When my husband and I were dating he was possessive and now that we are married he is still possessive and I still love it!

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I personally think ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends should be completely out of the picture (this includes facebook friends).  But don't expect them to give everyone the boot until you two are exclusive.  I think there should be clear rules and boundaries mutually agreed upon in a relationship.  If both people are in adherence, then there should be trust (not possessiveness).

Can I double like this reply please xx

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To be honest I wouldn't mind a possessive boyfriend/husband but I wouldn't be with a controlling/abusive husband. My heart and body are his and his heart and body are mine. We complete each other and want each other to be happy. I don't see anything wrong with him wanting me to be his especially since is a romantic sense I would be and he would be mine. The problem is control or abuse. I think the two are very different. I would take a possessive guy over a guy who truly does not care about me and would not be hurt if I left him.

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It depends how you define possessive, I think. If possessive means that, romantically, you say "she is all mine" (and, in turn, say that you are all hers), then it makes sense. If it means you're constantly concenred about your significant other's whereabouts and get mad whenever they talk to someone of the opposite sex, then it's probably bad.

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