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Kendra

Wedding vows

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Hey everyone!! Say you were to get married in the future, what wedding vows would you want to use?? Would you want to use the traditional vows, or give your spouse your own written vows??

Just thought it would be interesting to see what ya'lls thoughts on this were :)

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Great topic! I would prefer to write my own vows because then they'd be more personal and it will be more of a surprise. 

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Hmmmm traditional for me and its important that the word Obey is there !!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep I realise that us chaps will of course Obey. Lol ........

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Weird, I almost started this exact thread last week O.o

 

I'm not sure really. I'd be afraid if I wrote my own they'd be cheesy or somehow less significant than the traditional vows. I suppose it depends on the kind of relationship my bride and I have and how we feel about it together. If I wrote my own I'd definitely feel compelled to throw in some humor.

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Actually a little of both would probably be the best in my opinion but again it would depend on what we both decided. By a little bit of both, I mean I think it would be great to wrtie personal vows to each other and exchange them, but at the actual ceromony 'in the presence of God' we would recite the traditonal vows with the pastor. I think the traditional vows are an important tradition to perform at a wedding. I knew a friend who did this and he and his spouse framed their personal vows together and hung them in their bedroom and I thought it made their vows a bit more personal. Open to either way, it all depends...

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I think I'd prefer traditional. For one, I think there are some important concepts in traditional vows that should be said. Plus, I'm known for stumbling over my words and forgetting what I want to say, and I would feel weird writing it down and reading it off of a card. I'm also really sensitive, so I'll already be trying not to cry, and written vows will not help the waterworks one bit! So yeah, traditional would be the way to go for me.

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I want to say the traditional ones, and then maybe write personal ones to exchange privately later♥.

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I always liked the hypertraditional opening:

 

 

 

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, signifying unto us the mystical union between Christ and his Church; and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained. 

 

First, It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name.

 

Secondly, It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ's body.

 

Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.

 

 

Marriage is pretty solemn to me...I'd like a ceremony to match.

 

Obey is not as important to me. The Bible said submit, not obey.

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How do the vows work? Do you have them written down on a card? Or do you read them out of something? If its by memory I'm gonna forget...

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I want to say the traditional ones, and then maybe write personal ones to exchange privately later♥.

 

I was going to say almost the exact same thing. I love the idea of personal ones, but don't necessarily want to share them with everyone there for some reason.

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I was going to say almost the exact same thing. I love the idea of personal ones, but don't necessarily want to share them with everyone there for some reason.

Exactly :D! It will be for his ears only!

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Traditional! I'm a pretty traditional sort of person. Especially when it comes to weddings.

 

xxx

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Although I'd likely wanna prepare some personal words, maybe even vows like.

And likely ask, request that my wife to-be would do the same, remember, reciprocity, right?

I'd still prefer, and unless Mrs. RookiePilot objected strongly, we would go with traditional vows.

Simply something about those words, that hold a specialness, significance in ceremony.

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I have often pondered this, the vows of marriage.  What I have concluded probably goes beyond most people's thoughts in the matter.  I think that marital vows are ongoing and that they don't just stop at the alter.  By this, I mean that new ones are continually being birthed throughout the marriage and that the vows already made are continuously reaffirmed.  When it comes to marital vows, I've long had a certain trepidation about me being able to fulfill them -- not just the vows made at the alter but, all the others I will undoubtedly make throughout the course of my marriage.  My views on and understanding of marital vows is somewhat expansive and intiricate.  I suppose I can try to condense things down to a length suitable for writing about here.

I'll begin by stating that I think the traditional vows are a pretty good start to things.  They do a decent job of scratching the surface.  But, they are only the beginning of marital vows, particularly when it comes to a husband.

Marriage, being a husband -- it is deep; it is profound.  A very real, prominent portion of a husband's glory and manifestation of his love are the promises made to his wife and the toil, pain, and sacrifices endured to keep them.  Since the beginning of time people have talked about and often lamented over the power and authority that God gave men over women.  Understandably so, because it is unbelievably imense.  What you don't hear talked about so much is the power and possession He gave women over men.  It is equaly as significant and imense.

You women have the power to make or break us -- as babies, as boys, as men.  Your beauty, your magic can completely lay waste to us and bring us to our knees or, it can give us wings and make us soar to heights we never dreamed possible.  Apart from God himself and all that He entails, the beauty of a wife is the singlemost valueable thing in all of creation.

It's not the vows that I will one day make at the alter that concern me so much.  No doubt I'm going to have to fight with all that I am to keep them.  That's standard duty for all husbands.  What I am concerned about are the other promises I make -- the ones I whisper to my future wife in the middle of the night when she is held deeply in my embrace and I in hers.  What worries me is what I will promise to her when I am at the mercy of her beauty and have surrendered myself unto it's power.  When I am in the presence and embrace of ultimate beauty; when I've surrendered possesion of myself unto my wife; when she holds the core of my being, my heart, my soul, and my spirit in the cusp of her hands  -- what will I promise?  Everything, no doubt -- the world, the stars, the moon, the sky -- all of it.  Why?  Because the beauty of a woman is priceless, it has ultimate worth, ultimate value and when it's given as a gift to a man, he has no choice but to give everything -- his all -- in return for it.

What concerns me is that I will be able to keep the promises and vows that I make to my future wife in those secrete, intimate moments that I am completely overcome by her.  No doubt, after I am married, I will spend the rest of my days toiling, agonizing, sacrificing with the desperate hope that I will even come close to being worthy of a gift like that.  These promises are a sort of IOU that a husband writes upon his wife's heart in exchange for the beauty that she has given him.  They are a down payment on that ultimate gift.  Some males merely make the promises and never attempt to fulfill them, proving themselves unworthy of the gift they have been given.  It is the real men, the real husbands that do all in their power to make good on those promises, thereby making their wife's investment of beauty in their husband's heart and spirit worth having been made.  It is my intent and desperate hope that I will someday fulfill the latter of these roles.

I could write a lot more about this, and have elsewhere but, I won't, as this post is already long.  Needless to say, marital vows have a much deeper meaning and importance than they seem to be given in this day and age.  In answer to the OP's question I think the traditional vows are important and necessary and definitely should be a part of the vows made but, I think that other vows that go beyond them are also necessary, whether they are made in public or in private.  The last thing I would like to touch upon is that these promises and vows that a husband makes generally exceed his capacity to fulfill on his own.  The only chance he has of truly fulfilling them is if his wife uses the power that God formed into her to imbue and empower her husband.  The only chance he stands of succeeding is if his wife uses her beauty and magic to raise him up and make him soar.

Anyway, that's a thumbnail view of my thoughts on a husband's marital vows.
 

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You women have the power to make or break us -- as babies, as boys, as men.  Your beauty, your magic can completely lay waste to us and bring us to our knees or, it can give us wings and make us soar to heights we never dreamed possible.  Apart from God himself and all that He entails, the beauty of a wife is the singlemost valueable thing in all of creation.

 

 

I just have to say, your whole post is hauntingly beautiful. I loved it, and I read it all several times. Thank you for sharing that with us! You are going to be such a great husband!

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Well I completely agree with BigMat. Can't add anything he pretty much said it all. Very enlightening and gave me something to think about and even more too worry about...I hope one day I will be able to 'make good' on those vows and be that kind of man

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I just have to say, your whole post is hauntingly beautiful. I loved it, and I read it all several times. Thank you for sharing that with us! You are going to be such a great husband!

 

Thank-you very much WW.  I deeply appreciate comments like that.  If you like the style and subject matter of that post, you'll really like my book when I'm done with it.  It's written in the same style and deals with what I've learned in my relationship and walk with God concerning romance, intimacy, love, and marriage.  

As far as me someday being a great husband -- I can only hope and pray.  Like everyone else, I am far from perfect.  At the very least, though, she is going to regularly get love letters and whispered "sweet nothings" that will completely undo her heart and feelings and cause her to flow with a river of light and emotion.  Whoever she may be, she better be prepared because I've got a bottomless well, bursting with emotional delights and ecstacies that I've stored up for her.  If I accomplish little else as a husband, I will take her emotions to heights she never dreamed of and I will nourish and nurture her heart and soul on a level that she never imagined possible.

Yeah, that sort of thing is pretty much my world.  I'll stop de-railing the thread and be quiet about it now.

 

 

Well I completely agree with BigMat. Can't add anything he pretty much said it all. Very enlightening and gave me something to think about and even more too worry about...I hope one day I will be able to 'make good' on those vows and be that kind of man

 

You and I both, Jordan.  Thank-you for the kind words.  I'm glad to see that something I've written has impacted another.

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I am a traditionalist as far as the vows go, I guess...I mean if I'm going to go to all the trouble of being married I want the church wedding and the big dress and the Til-death-do-us-part, plus I love the language and sentiment of traditional vows. On the other hand, I think the idea of private vows later is amazing and very romantic. I'd love to do both.

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I enjoy reading everyone's take on the issues. For me I don't know I think both personalized and traditional are wonderful and meaningful.  As of right now, I don't have a preference. Guess I'll have to wait until I meet "the one" I kind of feel that's something you decide together when the time comes.

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I am a big fan of the traditional vows.   However, I wouldn't object to adding in personal vows, either at the wedding ceremony or in private....but I wouldn't replace the personal ones with the traditional ones.   So -- I would like all of the traditional vows, but would be open to additional personal vows.

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