AlexeiZ

Family & Waiting

43 posts in this topic

Why, because even if you "make love", now in your younger years.

This goes out to us fellas specifically, as we age our performance "may" deteriorate, just may.

Of course not me, but other guys.

I think there is actually a window of time where it gets better before it starts to deteriorate. I'm not 100% on this, but I think young guys tend to not be able to last as long as older guys. So, guys have a window of time after they're done quickly and before they have the issues of older age. (Unless you're George Costanza.....I hope at least one person gets the reference).

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Hey wny, I got the reference (well Google assisted)

I agree with you, as its sorta like a mountain peak, climbing then, reaching the summit, finally descending.

Hopefully by the time you fellas reach that point, science will have even greater breakthroughs to remedy this condition.

As I said above, I wouldn't need stuff like that!

(As its tough to portray humor sometimes online, I'm totally kidding!)

And of course there's the self-help, couples therapy, and even the

"Married couples" book section at Barnes & Nobles

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No person or faith (or lack thereof) has influenced my decision to wait. It was simply what I absolutely knew I wanted when I stopped following the crowd and started being myself. My mother supports my decision one hundred percent. Haven't told my brother and sister, and I doubt they'd agree, but I don't care.

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Well my mother knows and she accepts it, even though she herself does not believe in it. I'm not sure about the rest of my family though. I tried to tell my cousin that I was waiting till marriage and it seems like she took it personally. I felt awkward after that. They treat me like I'm really young too so probably won't be sharing any time soon.

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My family knows that I’m waiting, my parents waited because my mom is very Catholic, my brother is waiting, and I think that my sisters are waiting, but I’m not going to ask because that would be awkward. Its still tough for me though because my family makes fun of me, not for waiting, but for not having a girlfriend at 22. 

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My entire immediate family did or is waiting so I suppose I have it good when it comes to being supported. Many of my friends have started out waiting, some haven't made it, some didn't wait but now want to and some are stilling waiting. I don't talk much to my parents about the difficulties of waiting but I do talk to my sister about it and I also have a good friend who is waiting who I can talk to about it. If she isn't available, I have you guys. :)

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My entire household (parents, paternal grandparents, sister, myself) either waited or is waiting. Though for my grandparents, it had more to do with their culture than faith at the time. Also, they married at 16 and 17 so it wasn't much of a wait. My parents waited for faith reasons and in turn raised my sister and I to WTM from birth. My parents would have probably disowned us as kids if we didn't wait as they are very serious about it. lol. In fact, my dad broke down crying once during my sister's rebellious years of dating jerk when he believed she was sleeping with them. Despite her terrible taste in guys, she is strongly committed to WTM. 

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Another point I wanted to add was that although the people that know I am waiting are respectful, I don't think they fully understand why I want to wait. Aside from the reasons I have listed on my profile, here is the basic reason why.

For the portion of my life where I could understand what love and sex are, being my late teens to now, I have wanted to do something that would be not easy. I wanted to reach an accomplishment that would put me into an exclusive group that not everyone could be in. Not to be better than another person, no of course not, but to define the awesome power of making a choice and sticking to it. For my entire adult life I have wanted to wait until marriage so that it can define my character and prove to myself that I have what it takes to win against adversity. This decision is my "Mount Everest" if you will. And I am at Camp III right now lol.

To everyone on here. to the journey!

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My entire household (parents, paternal grandparents, sister, myself) either waited or is waiting. Though for my grandparents, it had more to do with their culture than faith at the time. Also, they married at 16 and 17 so it wasn't much of a wait. My parents waited for faith reasons and in turn raised my sister and I to WTM from birth. My parents would have probably disowned us as kids if we didn't wait as they are very serious about it. lol. In fact, my dad broke down crying once during my sister's rebellious years of dating jerk when he believed she was sleeping with them. Despite her terrible taste in guys, she is strongly committed to WTM. 

 

I find it a bit funny when people say they waited until marriage when they get married at 18. Again, hurray and congratulations I am profoundly happy for you, but getting married at 18 is much easier in the physical aspect perhaps than getting married in your late 20s. 

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I find it a bit funny when people say they waited until marriage when they get married at 18. Again, hurray and congratulations I am profoundly happy for you, but getting married at 18 is much easier in the physical aspect perhaps than getting married in your late 20s. 

 

Amen!! Or getting married by 20/21....that's usually junior year of college for people---not a bad wait in my opinion :P Those of us waiting years beyond college have it a little trickier :P

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Amen!! Or getting married by 20/21....that's usually junior year of college for people---not a bad wait in my opinion :P Those of us waiting years beyond college have it a little trickier :P

 

The issue is the "general timeline" is as follows:

Be a Teenager and make the commitment to wait - Ages 12-17

Finish High School and then go to college - Ages 18-23

Find a job and start working - Ages 23+

 

If you decide not to date while in this time brackets that means if you are 15 when you decide to wait, you are putting an 8 year wait on sex at the very minimum. This is a general idea though, everyone is different,

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I find it a bit funny when people say they waited until marriage when they get married at 18. Again, hurray and congratulations I am profoundly happy for you, but getting married at 18 is much easier in the physical aspect perhaps than getting married in your late 20s. 

 

Exactly. Not to mention my grandparents grew up in a very traditional culture where they don't have pressure to have premarital sex as our society does. Quite the contrary actually. It was considered shameful to have sex before marriage. Also, most people back then married for security reasons so their marriage was arranged. They really didn't have a say in the matter.

 

And yes, while every waiter has their own struggles, a married teen has a much easier time waiting than a waiter past the age of 30. Assuming of course, they have comparable sex drives.

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Another important idea to look at it what you mentioned: comparable sex drives. When two people who waited get married they will be excited to have sex and probably do it a lot, however, there are always lulls in sexual desire. One may get sick, be away, have an underlying health issue, etc. So just because you get married doesn't mean you will be getting your freak on 10 times a day everyday. Whatever happened to just cuddling...? LOL

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My parents are happy I'm doing that. Mostly they're just happy that I'm not a rebellious troublesome teenager! :)

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My parents didn't really discuss sex with me. Bringing up a sexual topic, like waiting until marriage, would be incredibly awkward.

 

Yes, exactly the same for me as well. I think my parents assume I am. Oh man, I'm picturing the situation in my head and I'm just cringing.

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I haven't discussed this with my family If my parents knew they'd probably be thrilled and supportive they're very old school.

 My sisters know I'm a virgin.  I don't think they disapprove of my choice, but I don't think they understand it, but they aren't negative and insulting towards me about it which is a good thing. I think it helps that I am respectful of their choice not to wait.

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My family knows....it was about 2 1/2 yrs ago when I "told" them...You see, I am a youth worker at my church @ that time I had recommited myself to God. So on one of our youth programs I was asked to be a speaker & give words of encouragement...already nervous of that, God had impressed upon my heart to give my testimony that I was still a virgin...It was VERY difficult I had kept that private for soooooo long & their were only 2 people in my life that knew....plus I was still somewhat embarresed about it then...being 41....AND then saying it out loud in front of the whole church no less!! Lol! After, my Pastor came to me & he said, it was nothing to be ashamed of. You have a powerful testimony & that VERY few can say that. I've come to realize what a good thing it is to be a virgin & WTM. I now speak openly about it & all of the people I've encountered so far are amazed that I am. Especially some of the youth I work with @ church! You should see their faces! (Lol!). We will not have all the baggage that stems from having already had sex, when we are finally with our spouse. In all honesty, I know their are MANY out there that if they had the chance to do it all over again....they would wait..I myself have had several women say just that to me, when I told them about me..some of them I could even see the regret in their eyes.....so don't be ashamed to say that your who you are! (Virgin & WTM). You never know who's life you could influence or change!!!

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My parents themselves waited and although they told me that waiting is the ideal, they wouldn't get upset if I don't wait. They were happy and more than supportive when I made that decision.

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