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Sarah Elizabeth

What would you do if...

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What would you do if you got to an age where you realized finding someone to marry, nevermind wait for you was a very very slim possibility? Or you realized you are the next "40 year old virgin." Would you stick to waiting or would then maybe change your views?

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Ugh that's sooo difficult. I try not to think abt that and ill just cross that bridge when I get to it

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I honestly, and many ppl might not do this, but it's just my personal opinion, I'd probably settle for an arranged marriage if that scenario comes when I'm 40.

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Sorry I would change my views! I better not be a 40-year old waiter!!! ;( I choose love and being close to someone if that became the case!

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You guys are still so young. Don't worry so much. Get your schooling done. Get financially set, go travel and meet people. If it's in the cards that you are 40 or older when it happens then so be it. Ask someone who got married young and you'll see what I mean. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side........

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I'd wait. I know myself well enough to recognize that I'd be unhappy if I didn't. I definitely have a sex drive... but I just don't have the desire to share what would be a very emotionally charged bond for me with another person who didn't intend to remain a part of my life.

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I definitely have a sex drive... but I just don't have the desire to share what would be a very emotionally charged bond for me with another person who didn't intend to remain a part of my life.

Yeah ditto on this for me. Very well said.

The way I look at it, the whole linking sex with emotion thing is just a part of who I am. I probably couldn't change it even if I wanted to (and I don't want to), now or in 20 years.

Plus, if you're single at age 40 that's a problem unto itself, waiting or no.

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You guys are still so young. Don't worry so much. Get your schooling done. Get financially set, go travel and meet people. If it's in the cards that you are 40 or older when it happens then so be it. Ask someone who got married young and you'll see what I mean. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side........

Thanks Peter. I tend to worry too much abt anything so its better for me not to get into the "what if" game ??

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40 is only the magic number now because of a movie. The 40 Year Old Virgin was great but really why is 40 a bad age now? Why not 30? It's going to happen when it happens. There is no meter on something as precious as what we hold so sacred right?

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Really good point, Pete. Rebecca St. James, beautiful and accomplished, got married at what? 35? A.C. Greene got married at 38. It's really tough... but I'm "all in". This is my choice. I'm waiting till marriage, not waiting till a certain age. Though I do hope it happens sooner rather than later lol.

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Hey Sara Elizabeth,

I know I already answered this one but I retract my statement. Honestly, I'm in a place in my life right now where sex and getting married, and babies, and all that is not a major concern and I really don't foresee it in the future. So if time passed me by where I ended up being a 40-year old virgin well more power to me. I've actually been inspired the longer I've been on this site and ofcourse not being sad really helps to. So I wouldn't mind.

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What would you do if you got to an age where you realized finding someone to marry, nevermind wait for you was a very very slim possibility? Or you realized you are the next "40 year old virgin." Would you stick to waiting or would then maybe change your views?

Well I still haven't decided whether or not I want to wait until marriage...in fact, I'm not even sure if I want to get married. And what if the love of my life didn't believe in marriage because his parents went through a traumatic divorce? I don't think I'd dump him for that.

That being said, I am sort of the stereotype for people who WTM: I have a low sex drive. I bet I could go my whole life without having sex. In fact, my biggest worry is that I'll end up finding sex to be too much of a chore (once I start having it,) and I may not want to have sex. So that's another predicament for me.

But because of my low sex drive, I'd be fine being a 40 year old virgin and I would not have sex just to get it over with. No way. I'm WTM, or WTTL (Waiting Till True Love.) If neither is a possibility for me, then I just won't have sex.

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Honestly, I'm in a place in my life right now where sex and getting married, and babies, and all that is not a major concern and I really don't foresee it in the future. So if time passed me by where I ended up being a 40-year old virgin well more power to me. I've actually been inspired the longer I've been on this site and ofcourse not being sad really helps to. So I wouldn't mind.

Wow, OHG... very well said. :)

That being said, I am sort of the stereotype for people who WTM: I have a low sex drive. I bet I could go my whole life without having sex. In fact, my biggest worry is that I'll end up finding sex to be too much of a chore (once I start having it,) and I may not want to have sex. So that's another predicament for me.

Sohpie, I certainly admire the transparency! Forgive me if I'm prying, but have you looked into reasons why you may have a low sex drive? Could it be a side effect of any medications or anything you're taking?

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I have a friend the same way Sophie. Even in a group of waiting girls who are anxious to have a bf, get married and talk about our honeymoon/first time, she is more indifferent to sex.

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What would you do if you got to an age where you realized finding someone to marry, nevermind wait for you was a very very slim possibility? Or you realized you are the next "40 year old virgin." Would you stick to waiting or would then maybe change your views?

That's why I am not doing it for others.

I'm doing it for myself.

Therefore I don't care if I marry.

Sure, I'd like to.

Some people would also like to have been born without Hutchinson's.

Some would have liked to finish school.

And some probably should have thought about what it was like to be born into a country where they're not conscripted into war. To die. Against their wishes. Fighting a battle that will play no real role in history. And is not theirs.

Be thankful you were born in 'The West,' where stuff like this largely doesn't happen.

For now.

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40 year old virgin? Uh, no, that is not something I can handle. At some point it's just unbearable. I know myself and I know that eventually I'll reach a breaking point in my early 30s. If it gets that far then I won't feel bad about it. I believe in God but if it comes to that then it's just abusive in a way. I'd rather not be a virgin before marriage than wait for my entire life. 

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Well, I'm 37. I never thought I'd be waiting this long. However, I still will not change. I think we all go through stages of consideration, at least most do. I have, but I always come back to this...this is who I am, I want this for many reasons, and if I never marry? Well, I'm just happy that I've finally learned to accept that possibility and have found other things that make me happy.

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