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Guest markb4

Rude Kids

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Hey all,

How would you deal with your children if they were rude to you or others, talk back to you or others, etc.? Would you tolerate it? Would you nip the problem in the bud? Would you punish? Would you sit down and talk? Etc?

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Would you tolerate it? Would you nip the problem in the bud? Would you punish? Would you sit down and talk? Etc?

 

No, yes, yes, and yes. Rude kids really irk me. Hopefully with how I raise my kids rudeness will never become a problem in the first place.

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I'd nip it in the bud and I'd explain to them why being rude isnt right...children are growing people, I dont have any and I know I can't say this like its easy but I believe some parents let things slide too often and those same children grow up to become whiny entitled adults that the public must deal with. 

I would punish my child depending on what was said and how it was said. Sometimes children say rude things and they dont know that its rude so in that case I would talk to them but I wouldnt punish them.  Now if the child said something rude again  after I had discussed it with him/her then there would be consequences. Growing up we were very polite children and well-behaved because my mom didnt play and if we were out of line she would set us straight. She didnt talk until after she punished us and by that time we didnt want to hear anything because we were upset. So I would discuss it first and I would talk to them like an adult.  I dont like when people excuse child behavior as "boys will be boys" or "they're just kids" letting their children run around spitting on adults or yelling in libraries. Teach that child manners

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Many times these kids do not have the involvement (quantitative and qualitative) of a tough and loving parent. 
1. Kids are mirrors.  They interpret their role model (the parent) at their own age level.  If the parent yells when handling challenges, the kid will throw a fit when handling challenges.  If the parent avoids confrontation, the kid will not be able learn to speak how they feel.  They will just bottle things up and lash out.  Kids need respect just as much as adults do, and I've seen many adults fail at respecting their own children. Kids need to be heard.  If they can't gain positive attention, they WILL gain negative attention.
2. The parent has to be around enough to address issues with their children and to be consistent with them. A parent that is just around part of the time will allow behavior part of the time.  That's just confusing.
3. QUALIFY child care providers or raise the children full time yourself.
4. Address the environment.  Is the child tired?  Feeling unheard?  Around unruly, undisciplined people?
5. Parenting isn't easy nor necessarily innate.  Read some books.  I highly recommend Nanny 911, the book.

Ultimately, to answer your question.  An ongoing dialogue is best. ("Sit down and talk")

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I will not tolerate rude children, nothing bothers me more. I won't even tolerate other people's rude children younger than me or my age.

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Beat 'em with a stick...

 

 

 

At least I'd want to :P Cross that bridge when I come to it but definitely having a little chat which may or may not include me "raising my voice" would probably be in order...

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well  i beleive in the bible, and the bible says do not spare the rod, i will beat them, good for sure, i was raised right, i was beat, and hell i turned out well when it comes to respect and dignity, and such. I also will talk with them afterwards, why they got a beaten, how i love them very much and cause i do thats why i wont tolerate bad behavior, you have to follow DD and stacie on both, because both are partnly right, if you blend both ideas together it comes out perfect.

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I would not tolerate and I would definitely sit down and talk with them. A child cannot change their behavior if they don't know what they did wrong or if they don't know what is expected of them.

 

As far as spanking, my parents used as a last resort and I will likely do the same. If I cried excessively over not getting my way I was sometimes told "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" and I shut up pretty quickly. Yes it sounds harsh but like Michael G. said, if you keep a constant dialogue they will understand it's a reflection on their behavior and not them as a person. That's what my parents did and it worked for me and my brother!

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Golly does not come into the equation if they re brought up to have proper values. Sure all children test their boundaries but id hope thats a personal thing and not in public.

Developing good values is a thing that must start from the day they are born. If its a gradual thing realising whats right and whats wrong then it doesn't hurt . Its natural.

Yesterday i walked into a building and didn't realise that a lady was following junior and myself. He turned around and struggled to pull back the door so she could enter without opening it herself. He is 6. Bless her she was so not used to such polite behaviour she just managed an amazed " er thank you"

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This is why I dont think I can have kids Im too impatient and would be irritated.

I was on the city bus back in highschool when this ladys little boy decided to come up to me ( a total stranger) and unzip my bag wtf! all my stuff almost fell out. She just sat there and let him, so I took his hand and gave him one good pop! on the hand and he turned around with a sad face... now he knows not to touch strangers things lol. The lady just sat there the whole time looking at me and my friends couldnt stop laughing.

 

Another perfect example of a rude entitled child ugh! I cant stand kids like this and careless parents that just let their child be bad all willy nilly 

http://www.hlntv.com/video/2013/02/05/dollar-store-spanking-wmaz-writghtsville-demon

 

The comments are funny

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It all starts with parents and the way they bring up their children. It is very important that they teach them things like values, manners, respect, etc. The way we were raised, we were (still are lol) always very polite and respectful. We knew what was and wasn't appropriate. We didn't run around harassing other kids or adults. That's why I'm so grateful for having been brought up the way I was, I love my mom. I used to hate it when children ran around and did reckless things, but then it hit me, they didn't know it was wrong did they? (I'm talking ages 3-5). So I immediately thought, their parents should really teach them to behave themselves, because in that sort of a situation at such a young age, if the parent allows it, the kid grows up thinking it's okay. So, they act that way from then on, without consequences. So, the parents should really do their best on raising their kids and teaching them to be their best.

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I would sit down and talk with them. I'm not sure if I would hit my kids though, I guess that's something that me and my future husband will have to discuss. My mother would sometimes hit my siblings and me when we were younger and people would comment on how polite we were/are. Now she just usually talks with us and uses the whole "I" statement thing, which surprisingly does work lol. Hopefully, when my children reach a certain age I can do that with them. I try to implement it when I do placement at an elementary school but depending on my relationship with the student and how their parents raise them, it sometimes works.

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Wow, some of you would actually hit your kid or use a belt if your kid was rude? Isn't that like, um….abuse? 

Many times these kids do not have the involvement (quantitative and qualitative) of a tough and loving parent. 
1. Kids are mirrors.  They interpret their role model (the parent) at their own age level.  If the parent yells when handling challenges, the kid will throw a fit when handling challenges.  If the parent avoids confrontation, the kid will not be able learn to speak how they feel.  They will just bottle things up and lash out.  Kids need respect just as much as adults do, and I've seen many adults fail at respecting their own children. Kids need to be heard.  If they can't gain positive attention, they WILL gain negative attention.
2. The parent has to be around enough to address issues with their children and to be consistent with them. A parent that is just around part of the time will allow behavior part of the time.  That's just confusing.
3. QUALIFY child care providers or raise the children full time yourself.
4. Address the environment.  Is the child tired?  Feeling unheard?  Around unruly, undisciplined people?
5. Parenting isn't easy nor necessarily innate.  Read some books.  I highly recommend Nanny 911, the book.

Ultimately, to answer your question.  An ongoing dialogue is best. ("Sit down and talk")

^This is how I would deal with rude kids. 

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Actually had an experience with this somewhat recently...

My nephew was smacking my mom in the face while my Mom was carrying him, he recently became 4 years old mind you. I told him to stop politely twice. My Mom did to, but when he didn't stop I more or less raised my voice loudly telling him to stop and how would he like it if someone was hitting him in the face? He threw a tantrum and was crying but after he settled down he never hit my mom in the face again. Though I find that the way he is raised with little discipline is why it causes so many problems... When they took him to the park he made all the other kids cry, my Neice was admonishing him about it.

Nipping it in the bud is the best solution I find personally. :D

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Generally speaking, I think it's best to nip that behavior in the bud along with teaching and modeling appropriate behavior. Children need to be taught just as we teach them how to tie their shoes, brush their teeth, and use a fork and spoon we have to teach them to treat others with respect. Their first lessons in  that is how you the parents treat each other and how you treat them as children. So yes talking.

 

Now once they know a behavior is unacceptable  the method of discipline to be applied for unacceptable behavior would depend on the kid.

 

Again generally speaking the rule in my future home will be the same as my childhood home in which rudeness and disrespect towards others was not tolerated.

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Little children are MIRRORS.  I have never said to my daughter after someone gives her a gift, "Now what do you say?" (I've heard so many parents say this!)  I've never pushed her to say "Thank you."   I personally say 'thank you' routinely, therefore so does she.  You BE that person you want them to be first and foremost. 

Children are children.  They will test boundaries.  So you have to give some leeway for children and teens.  But other than that, to me, how a child acts is a direct reflection of the parent (a parent's absence, their negative influence, or their positive influence).  Discipline is love.  When a child pushes the boundary, they are relying on you to show them that it is still there in a loving manner.  Yelling is only for emergencies.

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Little children are MIRRORS.  I have never said to my daughter after someone gives her a gift, "Now what do you say?" (I've heard so many parents say this!)  I've never pushed her to say "Thank you."   I personally say 'thank you' routinely, therefore so does she.  You BE that person you want them to be first and foremost. 

Children are children.  They will test boundaries.  So you have to give some leeway for children and teens.  But other than that, to me, how a child acts is a direct reflection of the parent (a parent's absence, their negative influence, or their positive influence).  Discipline is love.  When a child pushes the boundary, they are relying on you to show them that it is still there in a loving manner.  Yelling is only for emergencies.

Hallelujah .

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Hey all,

How would you deal with your children if they were rude to you or others, talk back to you or others, etc.? Would you tolerate it? Would you nip the problem in the bud? Would you punish? Would you sit down and talk? Etc?

 

I will teach my children to only respect adults that respect them. I don't believe that age automatically means you should be respected. However, I would certainly never tolerate rudeness. My mom did her best to teach me table manners and social manners. Some stuff I had to learn on my own, but she would always tell me when I did something wrong and tell me what I should have done instead. I would never punish unless it was serious.

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Hey all,

How would you deal with your children if they were rude to you or others, talk back to you or others, etc.? Would you tolerate it? Would you nip the problem in the bud? Would you punish? Would you sit down and talk? Etc?

Hi,

 

I definitely wouldn't tolerate it because that is not the type of people I want to raise. Rudeness inside or outside of my house will be punished. I would definitely sit down and talk to them about it to get them to understand why it's wrong to be rude to others. I'm going to instil a benevolent and Christian nature into all of my children.

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