Sunny

Could you marry someone whose family totally disapproves of you?

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So I think most people who are very family oriented would not marry someone their family hates, but could any of you marry someone whose family hates you? Assuming that the person really loves you and wants to be with you in spite of their family's wishes and also that your family welcomes them?

Do you think it would make you feel like you are taking he or she away from their family?

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I could care less of what their family thinks of me marrying them, I don't even care what my own family thinks, if we both want to be happy and families don't approve, that's not going to stop me.

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I won't lie: it'll hurt me. But I'd still marry him. It's MY happiness, after all, and I'm not giving it up.

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That is a tough one. I have always believed that it is important to have a kind and working relationship with my significant other's or future wife's parents/family because it just makes life easier. However, some families have different values and ideas and some people are crazy. All things considered I want a supportive family on both sides if I am going to marry someone. It's just important to me.

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Hmm can e difficult, I'd put up with it if my partner was always 100% on my side. Those poor souls who have nasty in laws and their partners make excuses. Aaaaah

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Yes I could. Families disapprove for a lot of reasons: ethnicity, religion, career or lack there of,  social status, wealth status...among other things. These are the things that shouldn't matter to them because they aren't the ones going to be living with me and are they?  When you marry someone, you gain a new family (your spouse) and that's the one you LIVE with for the rest of your life.  Your spouse is also the one for you when the rest of your family dies.

 

Although, I must add family is important so I can definitely understand them not approving if I were like a psychopath, had a terrible criminal past, or a real danger in general to which my significant other were oblivious. But I'm not any of those things soooo I don't care if my spouse's family hates me. Their loss. 

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I would still marry her. It would he unfortunate, but if her family doesn't like me ultimately it's their problem, not ours.

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You are in control of your life and it's happiness, not anybody else.

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I really feel like if I wound up in that situation, it wouldn't be my fault, and I'd have done everything I could to resolve it, in which case, absolutely.

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of course id still marry them because its not up to the family to decide who you fall in love with unless you live in a country that has that requirement. as long as you love one another, thats all that matters, the family can give their opinion but its your life and you make the final decision. ill share a short story, my parents familys didnt agree with them getting married on both sides my dads and my moms but they didnt care, they got married anyways and their families just had to deal with it. as a matter of fact my parents even eloped i hope i spelled that right lol, they didnt even have a professional wedding.

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I actually see this as the biggest obstacle on the horizon for my relationship. I haven't met my girlfriend's parents yet, though she has met mine and they are very accepting and welcoming, so it's smooth sailing with them. Though I suspect it won't be anywhere as easy with her parents. I will only find out in 2 to 3 years from now, as that will be the best time to meet them when it's really time to get serious. (after university and when I start full-time work). If her parents totally disapprove, which could only be racist if they do, then I'm not sure how that would go. She is respectful of her parents, and that's fine. But if they deny her her right to marry who she wants, then that means they wouldn't be respectful to her. I would still be willing to marry, but she will have to decide if it's worth going against her parents' wishes

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I used to sort of have a pssh-who-cares view on this. I'd like to say I still feel that way, but in all honesty I am not sure I could stand to be the dividing wedge between someone and his family.

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My default answer would have been "no" until I met some of my boyfriend's family. It took about 3 years for me and his mom to have a good relationship which was definitely upsetting, but we didn't let it get to us. I've mentioned this before, but we have very different views on a woman's role in a marriage and the household. She's still not thrilled with the fact I don't want to ever be a stay-at-home mom and that I'll likely be the breadwinner, however we have learned to agree to disagree.

 

Her side of the family still does not really approve of me, but I wouldn't say they disapprove. Yes it bothers me that my boyfriend's aunt once described me as "off" to his face, but I'm comfortable with who I am and that's all that matters. I've come to terms with not being his aunt's biggest fan, but I think it would still bother me if I didn't have a good relationship with his mom.

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If we can make it together and won't need to ever rely on their family then sure. But , if there are chances that we won't be able to survive without their help or he wont be complete without the love from his family, then I don't think I could put him through that. Also, I couldn't help but feel like I'm putting myself in a place of danger some people put their hate into actions. If they hate me that much they may retaliate on the off spring we create together and I'm not going to let someone harm my children just because they dislike me. Too risky. 

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