Guest OneHappyGirl

Ladies/Gents What do ya'll consider virginity?

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Actually what constitutes as no longer being a virgin? Just Actual intercourse, oral, making out, fondling, 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base what exactly would you be bothered by?

 

For me, as long as a guy doesn't have sex he's still a virgin. He may not be sexually pure but I wouldn't write him off. Also, if a guy has been sexually intimate (not actual sex but everything but all the way) with numerous partners(more than 1 or 2) I would not consider him a virgin. I would say the most girls a sexually active man could have actual sex with and it would not bother me as much is 1 partner maybe like a serious relationship and he still had a very good character and qualities he'd def. be fine by my book but if it's just promiscuity then no thank you that would be asking for trouble.

 

So where do ya'll stand?

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I think we have/had an old thread on this. Perhaps one of the admins/mods can merge this one with it and sticky it, so, if anyone else has such questions it will be easily accessible. Anywho...

 

See ya on the flipside,

 

Altan

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Well I only count penetration of the genital tools as sex, I know most disagree with me and say all oral activities qualify as sex but I don't think so. But a virgin doesn't matter to me so yay :DD

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Hello, Good question and yes sure it's covered before and will be many times again but people come and go so hey covering old ground is good for me ?

Well here are my odd angles n the subject

Ok from the female point of view it's penetrive sex, personally I'm ok with some oral/playing being part of the selection process but not everyone is ok with that. ,!!!!

From a chaps point of view again penetrive sex is the no no everything else is fine by me but hey I'm just an old boy !!

If your an older person and accepting someone with history then well for me then !! He we go ..... I struggle with a girl who has had "unprotected sex". And oddly not the orgasm thing is important to me. MODs move this to user discretion if appropriate !

What I do hate is British feminists he he.

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I've thought about this a lot, mainly because even if I'm okay with something logically/rationally, imagining being with a "non-virgin" causes a negative emotional response. So, I've reevaluated what I consider to be the criteria for virginity. In my opinion, one is a virgin if he/she has not had full penetrative sex and has not been brought to orgasm by a partner. My reasoning is that penetrative sex is much more intimate than other forms, partly because only it can lead to pregnancy; also, experiencing orgasm with someone I would think increases the intimacy dramatically. I think everyone who's been intimate on any level with a partner is on a spectrum of sexual experience, and, at least when it's been ingrained into your brain to equate virginity and purity, it's not helpful to have a very narrow definition of virginity. Perhaps figuring out what I'm ultimately okay with and editing my definition of virginity to match isn't the most scientific approach, but hey, it defines what I'm okay with and eliminates those pesky emotions all at once. So it works for me.

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If you haven't gone "all the way", you're still a virgin (at least technically). As a "virgin-only" man, that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with that, but it's not the same as actually losing your virginity. (I would strongly prefer a woman who has never done anything involving the private parts).

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My personal definition of a true virgin is someone who has never engaged in any form of sexual acts (including oral sex).

 

I don't really care how anyone else wants to define virginity but I do think it's a little bit absurd when someone has had sex many times through the back door if you know what I mean (lol) or had oral sex with like 8 different people and still somehow insists on calling themselves a virgin lol

 

It's like where do you draw the line? lol

 

So yeah...it's hard to say lol But at the end of the day, what other people choose to do with their lives isn't really my business lol <3

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No oral, no anal, or vaginal sex. If someone has had either of those, I don't consider them virgins. All three are sex in my opinion.

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I'm with Happy when sailing...I've always defined virginity as penetrative sex/intercourse/vaginal sex....whatever you wanna call it. I do agree with others about a person who's done oral with like 8 different people though...can they really still call themselves a virgin? I mean I guess "technically" they could...but like I've said before I think there are levels of virginity. And more then that, it really doesn't matter what my opinion is...or anyone else's. It matters what YOU all individually think. In terms of what you are or aren't ok doing within a relationship, and what you are or aren't ok with a potential prospect doing before they met you. That's really all that matters.

 

I guess luckily for me, I've never really had to "define" virginity as I never held myself to only dating virgins (or whatever my definition of virgin was). It's ok to do that obviously, but I guess in my head I knew that a) people don't have their virginity status tattooed on their foreheads and b ) It's not something you should really bring up on the first date for fear of scaring someone away, so by the time you find out what if you've realized you really like this person and you're a good match!?

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I've said all this before in another thread, but I'll just say it all again...

 

I like to distinguish between two types of virginity: "technical" virginity and "true" virginity. Technically, you're a virgin until you have sex. But I wouldn't consider someone who's engaged in other kinds of sexual activity (oral sex, anal sex, etc.) as being a virgin in the truest sense of the word. And I like to distinguish between the two "types" of virginity, because you can be one and not the other. If you've never had sex, but you've engaged in everything but, then no, I wouldn't consider you to be truly a virgin. If someone was raped, for example, then I'd consider them to be virgins even if not in the technical sense of the word.

 

xxx

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I'm actually not familiar with the whole bases thing. Unless you're talking sports.

A virgin is someone who hasn't had sex. Oral SEX is sex. Anal sex is SEX. So if you've done them then I don't consider you a virgin. Getting a handjob means you're not a virgin in my eyes. VIRGINITY for me means you've done very, very, little.

Sex is like fire. Great when the time is right, can be deadly when the time is wrong. I try to just stay away from the fire (sex) instead of playing with it (trying to define sex in ways so that you can do as much as possible with another without actual intercourse just so you can call yourself "virgin")

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instead of playing with it (trying to define sex in ways so that you can do as much as possible with another without actual intercourse just so you can call yourself "virgin")

 

Very true very very true!

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Imagine this situation your future spouse is dating someone else right now, would you want him to go to a level that you would probably be ashamed of, if he mentioned those details when he met you. How would you feel?

 

All I can say whatever standards you set as "virginity" expect the same standards to be set by your "future spouse."

 

 You can't have high standards if you don't follow them ;)

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I think we have/had an old thread on this. Perhaps one of the admins/mods can merge this one with it and sticky it, so, if anyone else has such questions it will be easily accessible. Anywho...

 

See ya on the flipside,

 

Altan

 

Yeah, I think we have at least two threads on this topic already. Now I just need to get over my laziness to merge them, lol!

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I think we get into trouble by, if you'll pardon the expression, dancing around the whole and trying to draw these absolute lines. Yes, mechanically speaking, if you affix spoke A into slot B, then you have been devirginified. But are you really going to tell me that you've preserved every ounce of virginity by laying naked in bed with someone else and pleasured them with your hands? What if you penetrate with clothes on and never look at each other? What about oral sex?

 

As far as I'm concerned, if you've been with someone else and intentionally manipulated them into sexual pleasure and/or orgasm, then we've got a problem.

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I've commented on this before, but I'll do it again. I do go by a very literal definition of virginity (penis in vagina), but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with a future wife having done everything but. I don't want a future wife to have done anything more than just kissed a guy and has had some light touching of non-genital areas over full clothes. One area I'm kind of iffy on is if she's made out with a guy before. The thought of her having just, like, sat next to a guy and kissed for like 5 minutes doesn't sound too bad to me, but if they were all over each other it would be a dealbreaker for me.

 

Yes, I realize I'm incredibly picky. Yes, I realize I will be having some awkward conversations in the future when I ask women what they've done in their past.

 

It's not something you should really bring up on the first date for fear of scaring someone away, so by the time you find out what if you've realized you really like this person and you're a good match!?

 

I'm hoping it's something that can be brought up by a third date. Or, maybe we're friends beforehand and I already know. But, even if it's later in the relationship and we're otherwise a good match, I would still end it. This is just too big of an issue for me.

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I think that to be a "virgin" that means no intercourse of any kind. And while I do consider oral sex sex, I would still consider someone who as done that a virgin. I'm going to use the same terms as someone else said and say that I wouldn't consider them sexually pure however. That being said, I do not think your virginity can be taken by rape. So I guess for me it has to do with the mind of a person doing it. Thankfully, as long as they are committed to saving themselves now, I don't care what their past is...unless they did something bad (rape etc.), which in that case I wouldn't be dating them anyway.

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I've commented on this before, but I'll do it again. I do go by a very literal definition of virginity (penis in vagina), but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with a future wife having done everything but. I don't want a future wife to have done anything more than just kissed a guy and has had some light touching of non-genital areas over full clothes. One area I'm kind of iffy on is if she's made out with a guy before. The thought of her having just, like, sat next to a guy and kissed for like 5 minutes doesn't sound too bad to me, but if they were all over each other it would be a dealbreaker for me.

 

Yes, I realize I'm incredibly picky. Yes, I realize I will be having some awkward conversations in the future when I ask women what they've done in their past.

 

 

I'm hoping it's something that can be brought up by a third date. Or, maybe we're friends beforehand and I already know. But, even if it's later in the relationship and we're otherwise a good match, I would still end it. This is just too big of an issue for me.

Fair enough. A lot of that is easier said than done; but not impossible if it's what you really want.

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I've commented on this before, but I'll do it again. I do go by a very literal definition of virginity (penis in vagina), but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with a future wife having done everything but. I don't want a future wife to have done anything more than just kissed a guy and has had some light touching of non-genital areas over full clothes. One area I'm kind of iffy on is if she's made out with a guy before. The thought of her having just, like, sat next to a guy and kissed for like 5 minutes doesn't sound too bad to me, but if they were all over each other it would be a dealbreaker for me.

 

Yes, I realize I'm incredibly picky. Yes, I realize I will be having some awkward conversations in the future when I ask women what they've done in their past.

 

 

I'm hoping it's something that can be brought up by a third date. Or, maybe we're friends beforehand and I already know. But, even if it's later in the relationship and we're otherwise a good match, I would still end it. This is just too big of an issue for me.

 

I agree with all of this. But I think a history of making out isn't as bad as touching (even if it's light).

 

Like I said elsewhere, I strongly prefer a woman who hasn't done anything involving the privates.

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Fair enough. A lot of that is easier said than done; but not impossible if it's what you really want.

It definitely is what I want. I would give up plenty of other things I would prefer in a woman in exchange for three things 1.) Lack of sexual experience, 2.) Compatible financial goals and 3.) I'm highly physically attracted to her. I know most people will disagree that 1 and 3 are all that important, but I don't care. If I'm being honest with myself, I can't see myself possibly being happy without these requirements.

 

And, yes. It probably will be difficult. But, I think it is better to live my life trying to get what I want than to settle. Maybe at 40 if I'm still single there will be some leeway, but I really think the lack of sexual experience dealbreaker is one I would have a hell of a time ever getting rid of.

 

I agree with all of this. But I think a history of making out isn't as bad as touching (even if it's light).

 

Like I said elsewhere, I strongly prefer a woman who hasn't done anything involving the privates.

I defnitely prefer a woman who has done absolutely nothing (not even lightly kissed), but some things I can get past. The reason making out bothers me is because I picture like a girl sitting on a guy's lap and them being all over each other and it being really handsy. That is too much for me. A guy just having lightly, briefly touched her breats over her bra and a shirt (full clothes) or having occasionally pinched her fully clothed behind just doesn't seem as bad to me. Like I said, though, if "making out" just means they sat next to one another and kissed for a few minutes without it being too handsy, I think I could maybe get past that.

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I've commented on this before, but I'll do it again. I do go by a very literal definition of virginity (penis in vagina), but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with a future wife having done everything but. I don't want a future wife to have done anything more than just kissed a guy and has had some light touching of non-genital areas over full clothes. One area I'm kind of iffy on is if she's made out with a guy before. The thought of her having just, like, sat next to a guy and kissed for like 5 minutes doesn't sound too bad to me, but if they were all over each other it would be a dealbreaker for me.

 

Yes, I realize I'm incredibly picky. Yes, I realize I will be having some awkward conversations in the future when I ask women what they've done in their past.

 

 

I'm hoping it's something that can be brought up by a third date. Or, maybe we're friends beforehand and I already know. But, even if it's later in the relationship and we're otherwise a good match, I would still end it. This is just too big of an issue for me.

 

 

It definitely is what I want. I would give up plenty of other things I would prefer in a woman in exchange for three things 1.) Lack of sexual experience, 2.) Compatible financial goals and 3.) I'm highly physically attracted to her. I know most people will disagree that 1 and 3 are all that important, but I don't care. If I'm being honest with myself, I can't see myself possibly being happy without these requirements.

 

And, yes. It probably will be difficult. But, I think it is better to live my life trying to get what I want than to settle. Maybe at 40 if I'm still single there will be some leeway, but I really think the lack of sexual experience dealbreaker is one I would have a hell of a time ever getting rid of.

 

I defnitely prefer a woman who has done absolutely nothing (not even lightly kissed), but some things I can get past. The reason making out bothers me is because I picture like a girl sitting on a guy's lap and them being all over each other and it being really handsy. That is too much for me. A guy just having lightly, briefly touched her breats over her bra and a shirt (full clothes) or having occasionally pinched her fully clothed behind just doesn't seem as bad to me. Like I said, though, if "making out" just means they sat next to one another and kissed for a few minutes without it being too handsy, I think I could maybe get past that.

This is exactly how I feel about this subject. 

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I've thought about this a lot, mainly because even if I'm okay with something logically/rationally, imagining being with a "non-virgin" causes a negative emotional response. So, I've reevaluated what I consider to be the criteria for virginity. In my opinion, one is a virgin if he/she has not had full penetrative sex and has not been brought to orgasm by a partner. My reasoning is that penetrative sex is much more intimate than other forms, partly because only it can lead to pregnancy; also, experiencing orgasm with someone I would think increases the intimacy dramatically. I think everyone who's been intimate on any level with a partner is on a spectrum of sexual experience, and, at least when it's been ingrained into your brain to equate virginity and purity, it's not helpful to have a very narrow definition of virginity. Perhaps figuring out what I'm ultimately okay with and editing my definition of virginity to match isn't the most scientific approach, but hey, it defines what I'm okay with and eliminates those pesky emotions all at once. So it works for me.

 

 

 

just food for thought but what if they cybered someone and orgasmed for them on a webcam ??? would that be a virgin or a non virgin to you

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Virginity to me is simply the absence of intercourse.

Waiting Til Marriage is quite different.  TO ME, waiting until marriage means you don't do anything past kissing and hugging.  No intentionally touching, no hand jobs, no oral sex.  Just love in your heart.  The resultant personal qualities fostered by someone with values such as waiting until marriage is far more important than whether someone is a virgin or not.  Virginity is two fold; mental purity and physical purity. 

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just food for thought but what if they cybered someone and orgasmed for them on a webcam ??? would that be a virgin or a non virgin to you

 

I honestly have never given that any thought. I'd probably still consider them a virgin. It would bother me if my girl had done that, but I would honestly never even think to ask.

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Anything involving genitalia is sex. In my opinion, if you've done oral or anything other than penetration, you might as well go ahead and do it. It defeats the purpose of waiting.

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