Guest Ace

How's the waiting going?

37 posts in this topic

Just curious as to how everyone's wait is progressing?

 

 I know I've been pretty much non existent around here, lately.  Haha.  I try to pop in every now and then, though.  I'm going to have some pretty cool opportunities coming up here soon, so they'll probably drag me away, but I will make more of an effort to stop in here!  Hope that y'all are all doing well.  I know it can be very difficult sometimes, and we can become discouraged... But we must persevere.  

 

I know that not everyone here is a Christian, or even has a religion at all, but a Bible verse that just popped into my mind is Galatians 6:9 which reads (this is the NIV) "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  I think that's pretty sound advice for anyone.  Stay strong, my friends.  I'll "see" y'all around :)

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My wait is going just as strong as ever thanks to my sex drive of zero and lack of skill to pick people up. Though some of my friends that know I'm waiting are convinced I'm gay, They always say "Why on earth would you want to wait!?" And I just always say "Why not?"

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It's going well. Just taking care of business right now. University... work... getting myself ready for life :P Keeping my promise with my girlfriend not to succumb to temptations

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It's going well, but if given the chance to get married tomorrow, I'll definitely take it!

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Eh it's been really hard since Saturday night and it has not been fun lol

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My wait is fine :) ...until someone puts their damn nose in my business and asks "why dont you have a boyfriend yet?" or decides to give me "advice" on what I should and shouldnt do...then that just pisses me off  :mad:  Im sorry my life doesnt revolve around "needing someone" or sex. Im not a wild animal I can make my own choices...why cant people just buzz off and mind their business...then I start to feel sad and alone like I will never find love...thanks alot to "friends" and "family"...this is why I keep it to myself...rant over.

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The waiting is going pretty good, thank you... there are some nights where it gets a bit crazy but then I am reminded that this is all going to be absolutely worth it :-) plus, I've got sooo much stuff going on in my life that is distracting, school, volunteering, etc, etc, so that helps :-D just one more day closer


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:P But it's not the lack of sex that is a problem. It's the lack of intimacy. At the same time though, I don't have the time for romance right now. I already have enough people competing for my time. Right now, I'm just trying to keep my head up, keep going and look forward to that future relationship.

My, that was therapeutic! :)

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I'm with Nicole. The waiting for sex is pretty easy as long as I keep the urges at bay, since I don't have a girlfriend nor the money for a prostitute ( :P) to tempt me; but the waiting for a relationship is kind of frustrating and lonely at times, especially when I don't have much going on.

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I think it's very astute (Matthew/Nicole) to observe what you're really waiting for in a sense is the Special Relationship - and intimacy with that takes a lot of forms, including your physical relationship and eventually in the right circumstance, sex.  I think back, and honestly I always SAID I was waiting for sex by being married, but you guys have made me think back and realize what I was really waiting for at the time - was a girlfriend that I would be that connected to and that thrilled by and in love with!  

 

( don't get me wrong - i was waiting for sex too LOL - but honestly...   it was the relationship I wanted, got impatient about, felt like it took FLIPPING FOREVER to come along, etc...  sex was a part of being in that relationship eventually :-) )

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There are ups and downs. Most of them have next to nothing to do with the desire per say, but as others have put it, the lack of initmacy. For me, it's the lack of that special woman who would get me 100% and vice versa and like what she found enough to stick around and accept my faults and shortcomings and take part in my dreams, as I would in hers. Kind of wistful and idealistic, I know...but, if I didn't have such ideals, then I would've given up by now (I'm 26). As long as I have those and I keep myself busy moving forward towards my dreams and goals (one of which is to find that special girl/woman), things aren't so bad. To quote/paraphrase Nietzsche: "So many of our greatest struggles and tribulations come to us during the stillest hours and moments of our lives."

 

@Tatyana: I know what you mean, when it comes to others giving you advice or trying to shape your life for you. I can't count the number of times that I've had to deal with family members accusing me of being gay, just because I refuse to go for someone suitable for THEM and NOT ME (I mean, isn't finding the/a person who's compatible with you the point of the search...not to satisfy narrow-minded family, etc.?) It truly is annoying how sex-obsessed and relationship-obsessed people can be. Like, if you're not in a relationship or obsessing over getting into one, especially in your 20's, something's wrong with you (you MUST be gay or impotent or just plain mental). And if you're in a relationship, sex has to be present (even if you're not married). Or else, why even see the other person (ya get told you're wasting your time)? Just because I feel that I need to get enough of my ducks lined up in a row, before I really pursue anything doesn't make me (or anyone with similar views) messed up...just more mature than the average person.

 

Anywho...end rant...

 

See ya on the flipside,

 

Altan

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Meh. Fine I guess. As long as I stay away from crappy romcom movies and songs that remind me of the lack of intimacy in my life, it's actually bearable.

 

I dont even pay attention to nosy people anymore. Actually, the 'HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE SEX OMGGJKHJH' remarks make me laugh now. Seriously, aint nobody got time for that.

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Well so far so good. At least I wish it would feel good. I'm still a virgin but that doesn't mean I'm always content. I'm content with having not failed and still waiting, but at times I'm discontent with the fact that I'm not married. Can't wait to be married. Oh all of the joy that marriage will bring as long as we work at it. Sure sex is a big deal, but it's the intimacy, the romance, the love that I desire most. 

 

I really hope God knows my limit because eventually I'm going to get to the point where the waiting is damaging my self esteem and I'll just throw my purity away. I hope it doesn't come to that but unlike some people I'm not gonna dedicate my entire life to waiting if I stay unmarried. God help me.

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Did you decide to wait yet?

 

I think so. I mean, it's the only thing that can assure me no regrets. I made a Pro/Con list to waiting. And one of the Pros was that if I give my virginity to a man and then break up with him, it doesn't matter how many months we waited, or how long we were together for, or how deeply we truly loved each other...I will regret having sex with him. Because I want to give my virginity to the love of my life, and only ever have sex with the love of my life, and spend the rest of my life with him. WTM is the only way to make sure this happens.

 

Other Pros were also great: no diseases, no baby out of wedlock, no regrets, etc

 

Although I won't lie, the two Cons (the only ones on the list) do scare me: what if I never meet a guy who is willing to wait? what if I never get married?

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It has it's ups and it's downs. I have been single for over a year now, but I am okay with that. I don't go out looking to score women, that's not my style. I do however practice a concept I call "making myself available to the universe," where I have a social life, pursue activities I enjoy like skiing, kayaking, golf, etc. Because even though I may not plan to meet someone, being out and about increases your chance, naturally. 

As well, my mom has said "While you are waiting to meet the girl you will spend your life with, you have to have a life to live in the meantime."

Sex is important, but love is more important. If someone doesn't want to respect your values, it isn't fair to you. I find it is always convenient for one person to judge or make assumptions on waiting but if the situation were reversed how would they feel? If two people actually care about each other, and work together to have a rewarding relationship (from what i have read on the forums Sally and DodgeDude for example), it shows that two people can have a wonderful relationship without judgement, without malice and looking towards the future.

You, I, we, have our whole lives to experience sex, be freaky, transcend what intimacy is, but if we fail to respect each other at the start, we fail each other for the rest of the journey.

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Thanks Justin. It's nice to know that others perceive it that way because I know Sally and I most definitely do. :)

 

 

"While you are waiting to meet the girl you will spend your life with, you have to have a life to live in the meantime."

 

 

Great quote. I was more or less single for over a year before I met Sally and that quote is basically exactly what I did (and still do). In order to share your life with someone else you have to actually have a life first. People shouldn't just wait around thinking "everything will be different when I have a gf/bf or everything would be different if I was married, etc. I'd do more, be more content, etc." Because the reality is that I personally know people in good relationships that still exude an unhappy aura (for lack of a better term) about themselves. Happy single people make for happy "taken" people. And vice versa. Doesn't mean you wouldn't be happier when you find a s/o but don't put all of your worth and happiness into someone else and forget about yourself...not good.
 

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Exactly DodgeDude! And the quote so so true it's freaky. While I don't have a significant other I need to live my life and as I get older I am finding I much, much, much, prefer to be out doing stuff rather than sitting at home playing video games. Furthermore whether you meet someone today, a month from now, a year from now, having something to do not only makes you feel good, but it increases your chances to meet people. 

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I think so. I mean, it's the only thing that can assure me no regrets. I made a Pro/Con list to waiting. And one of the Pros was that if I give my virginity to a man and then break up with him, it doesn't matter how many months we waited, or how long we were together for, or how deeply we truly loved each other...I will regret having sex with him. Because I want to give my virginity to the love of my life, and only ever have sex with the love of my life, and spend the rest of my life with him. WTM is the only way to make sure this happens.

 

Other Pros were also great: no diseases, no baby out of wedlock, no regrets, etc

 

Although I won't lie, the two Cons (the only ones on the list) do scare me: what if I never meet a guy who is willing to wait? what if I never get married?

 

I'm sure any guy you come across who really cares for you and respects you will be willing to wait. Don't worry too much about it :)

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Wow, it's been a REALLY long time since I've been here...RJ!! How are you? Thanks for the post :) Some days are harder than others, but like most of you have said it's really the intimacy of a relationship that I crave at the moment more than anything. And when you're a single person surrounded by couples, it can really be challenging to be patient!

That's an awesome verse, and one I will be adding to my wall as a reminder of God's providence and love:) 

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I'm sure any guy you come across who really cares for you and respects you will be willing to wait. Don't worry too much about it :)

 

I sure hope you're right! I'll do my best to not be too concerned. :)

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Although I won't lie, the two Cons (the only ones on the list) do scare me: what if I never meet a guy who is willing to wait? what if I never get married?

I worry about the exact same thing, except I don't worry about not getting married, I worry about finding any relationship at all.

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I worry about the exact same thing, except I don't worry about not getting married, I worry about finding any relationship at all.

 

I worry about that a lot too. Because of my autism, it is so hard for me to socialize and connect with people. Being in a relationship may end up being very difficult for me. Socializing with males in general is hard enough because I went to an all girls school for 12 years. Lots of girls prefer to hang out with guys because they are "less drama," but I much prefer girls because I am so used to them and I understand them. it isn't super hard for me to make female friends. But making guy friends? Never actually been done so far. so how will I get a boyfriend? So yeah, I share your worries and concerns about just finding a relationship. and this has nothing to do with being a waiter. even if I had no desire to wait, I'd still worry.

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