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Sophie

I HAVE FINALLY REALIZED MY ONE MAJOR ISSUE OVER WAITING UNTIL MARRIAGE: MY WEIGHT

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WHY WOULD A GUY DATE A VERY OVERWEIGHT GIRL IF SHE WON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM UNTIL MARRIAGE?! Why would any guy wait for me?

Okay, so I am going to give you some personal information:

Name: Sophie

Age: 18

Height: 5'3.5" (or round up to 5'4")

Weight: 175lbs

Clothing Size: 12

So, as you can see, I am not blessed with a nice body. I am fine with being a six, or an eight. Whatever. But a size 12 on a girl who stands just over 5'3.5" doesn't look nearly attractive as it would on a girl who is 5'8". So yeah, my body has curves in all the right places but the curves can't be appreciated because they're too big. But I was blessed with a very nice appearance neck-up, so I know I would feel far more confident with my decision to wait until marriage, and my purity, if I felt good and confident about my body.

I bet if I could even lose 15-25 pounds I would feel so much more confidence about my decision to wait until marriage and my virginity. But how do I lose this weight? I am a university student who can't afford nice foods. And I don't have time to exercise and such.

But I know that if I got down to a size eight, I would just feel so much better about who I am. I would think that I was worthy of waiting for. And I would be insecure over my virginity anymore, I think. And finally I would maybe gain the confidence to wear a purity ring!

Any advice?

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One thing you'll need is discipline. Ever tried fasting an entire month, sunrise to sunset? Also, making excuses like 'I don't have time to exercise', is counterproductive. BTW, do you walk to class...or just drive?

See ya on the flipside,

Tempest Desh

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Size doesn't matter its who you are that counts. Would you really want to be with a guy who is only with you for your looks or someone who truly loves you for who you are?

I do realise that this is probably more about your confidence though and there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a healthier lifestyle you just need to make a few changes.

If you drink lots of fizzy drinks swap them for water (it has no calories) swap snacks for fruit and eat more fruit and vegtables (these have lots of fibre so will help you to feel fuller for longer) and don't eat fried foods and try to aim to exercise for at least 30 mins a day (walking counts) minimum. Swap white bread for brown bread, use skimmed milk rather than full or semi-skimmed. If you need ideas for cheap healthy reciepes then look online and see if you can find any that you like the look of. Hope that helps.

Please remeber its not what you look like its who you are inside that counts and anyone that doesn't love you for who you are isn't with marrying anyway.

-Aaron

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umm honey...175 pounds is not big. I'm over 300 and my weight is not why I wait......I wait because I respect myself and my body

if a guy cant accept then he knows where the door is

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Yes, with what others have mentioned swap sugary drinks for water, snacks for fresh fruit and veggies. Walk or bike places instead of driving. Those are all simple lifestyle changes. Plus, you can MAKE time to exercise. Even if it's only for 20 minutes, it's better than nothing. I hate traditional exercise or workouts like running. I recommend Zumba. It's so fun, you forget you're even working out and burns a TON of calories. But you are beautiful, no matter what you look like. But I also understand what it's like to have low self-confidence and wanting to live a healthy life. It makes you happier, healthier and feel more confident. Just remember to always love who you are. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to a healthy life :)

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One thing you'll need is discipline. Ever tried fasting an entire month, sunrise to sunset? Also, making excuses like 'I don't have time to exercise', is counterproductive. BTW, do you walk to class...or just drive?

See ya on the flipside,

Tempest Desh

Walk. I don't own a car, and I never have even been behind the wheel of one. lol. So I do a lot of walking, but my days are filled with homework, studying, and I have insomnia so I am always exhausted in the day and wide awake at night. ugh...but yeah, it is counterproductive and I will try to fit in more exercise time.

Size doesn't matter its who you are that counts. Would you really want to be with a guy who is only with you for your looks or someone who truly loves you for who you are?

I do realise that this is probably more about your confidence though and there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a healthier lifestyle you just need to make a few changes.

If you drink lots of fizzy drinks swap them for water (it has no calories) swap snacks for fruit and eat more fruit and vegtables (these have lots of fibre so will help you to feel fuller for longer) and don't eat fried foods and try to aim to exercise for at least 30 mins a day (walking counts) minimum. Swap white bread for brown bread, use skimmed milk rather than full or semi-skimmed. If you need ideas for cheap healthy reciepes then look online and see if you can find any that you like the look of. Hope that helps.

Please remeber its not what you look like its who you are inside that counts and anyone that doesn't love you for who you are isn't with marrying anyway.

-Aaron

I definitely want a guy who loves me for who I am, but I suppose I am very worried that no guy can see me for who I really am because of my weight. I think it's normal for most teens like me to feel this way, but I definitely want to lose weight. And I actually am a healthy eater, I wasn't always overweight. My metabolism is very, very slow (I only eat one meal a day and a couple of snacks) but I don't want any of the medication the doctors give me for it because they make me feel dizzy. I never eat fried foods, ever. But I do need more fruits and vegetables, and I should probably eat less bread (but it's so cheap and I can't afford much else.) I always drink skim milk! :)

And thank you. I would never marry someone who doesn't love me for who I am.

umm honey...175 pounds is not big. I'm over 300 and my weight is not why I wait......I wait because I respect myself and my body

if a guy cant accept then he knows where the door is

I remember this one time I told a friend that I was thinking of waiting until marriage and she said, "Is it because of your weight? Like this is an excuse why you can't get laid, or you're afraid you never will?" I could have punched her. I am definitely doing this out of respect for my body and myself. :)

But you are beautiful, no matter what you look like. But I also understand what it's like to have low self-confidence and wanting to live a healthy life. It makes you happier, healthier and feel more confident. Just remember to always love who you are. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to a healthy life :)

Aw, thank you. <3 That is exactly how I feel. I want to be happier, healthier, and more confident. And I think, especially at my age, the only way to do that is to lose weight. But I don't mean like a size two. I'm perfectly fine with even an 8.

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You could try just eating breakfast, a piece of fruit mid morning, light lunch, afternoon snack and then a light dinner as if you eat small and often (every 3-4 hours) it is supposed to speed up you metabolism. If you are watching something on tv when the adverts come on exercise then (crunches, sit ups, press ups, star jumps, jogging on the spot what ever you feel like doing) and try only drinking water. If you find your wide awake at night why not exercise then? just try mixing your exercise up, don't always do the same thing at the same speed throw in a few short periods when you really push yourself then slow it down again, do different exercises as this will cause you to use different muscle groups and give the other ones a rest allowing you to exercise for longer without getting that tired and it will also stop you from over exerciseing.

Don't forget to take a day or two a week for rest days to give your body time to recover and start of slowly.

If you don't want to take medicine to help you sleep (I don't blame you I never take medicine unless I absolutely have to - life or death kind of thing not I've got a sore throat or headache but I have always been like this since I was about 12-13) try having a nice relaxing bath... Lots of bubbles and candles... And warm milk is supposed to help you go to sleep so try and relax before you go to bed. I hope that helps.

Weight doesn't matter, its about the connection you have with the person, not what size they are. Remember the saying "love is blind" so if they truly love you looks won't matter... YOU will.

-Aaron

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I do sapport bieng healthy and if you want tips for that I'm nore atn willing to help but you goal shoud be bieging helthy not bieng skinner but I don't think your real prpoblem isnt your wait hunny its your self confdence if you can get that you well not only have a good mental helth but most men find a girl with self confedece butiful. I proisse I have the best way for a girl to bild self cinfidence it may sem weird at fitst but I now this haas worked 4 a lot of girls if you want I'll pm you it to you its kind of personal for some pepole :)

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Also, to be honest, there are tons of reasons a guy will wait for a girl. Of course the greatest of these is love. And, besides, as it's been said a million times before, if a guy is just looking for sex, then forget him. He's not worth your time. You've got better things to do then give it up to someone who doesn't value you like he should. Sorry about the insomnia problem...ever tried any holistic stuff like meditation/breathing exercises or bi-aural beats or chill music like some of the stuff by Moby and Niyaz (chill trance music)? It helps me to calm down before sleep. Anywho...

See ya on the flipside,

Tempest Desh

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Oh and one other thing to add: You may think you have confidence issues now, ones that have led you to thinking you can't wait till marriage. But, since your V-Card is something that you can only give away once, just stop and think how empty and worthless you'll feel when the guy you've (hypothetically in this case, hopefully) given it up to, just up and walks out on you/breaks up with you...especially to be with some other girl. And remember, in this case, he won't have even tied the knot, so to speak...so we're not talking about a future husband...just some random douchebag (in the greater scheme of things). Scenarios like this have helped me to hold to my decision. Besides, honestly, if you've had the intelligence and forethought to stop and consider this kind of decision, then you're definitely worth more than a one night stand or a short, casual relationship. Continue to save it for that one man who will have you as you are, at your best AND at your worst...and in between. Reminds me of a quote of Marilyn Monroe's, come to think of it...Anywho...Just my new two cents (sorry if I come off as harsh)

See ya on the flipside,

Tempest Desh

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Sophie,

I don't have any other advice to offer other than what everyone else has said. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I don't want to lose any weight now, but feeling that I look great on the outside really changes things inside as well and kind of puts a spring in my step so to speak.

I highly encourage you to go ahead with it---I know everyone is trying to be nice about the weight, but let's say you're down to 150 and you don't wanna go any furthur--great! Just the fact that you've got a strut and have more confidence will show and that may be what attracts a guy to you ;)

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Okeydokey Sophie,

I'm about to introduce you to your new best friend. Are you ready?

http://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/

Reddit is the largest "open secret" online community in the world. It is a truly amazing place, capable of putting you through all possible emotions on a given day, and teaching you lessons that you will remember for the rest of your life. It can also kill your daily productivity in 10 seconds flat, so for the love of your paycheck, do not browse at work.

Reddit is divided into different "subreddits" based on category. There's a jokes subreddit, a cycling subreddit, a reddit just for cute animal pictures, one for science, one for psychology, and many, many more.

r/loseit is a special section of reddit dedicated to weight loss. You will see people in r/loseit (with before/after pictures!) that have lost far, far more weight than you need to lose. You will find everything from inspiring stories to support and practical tips.

Here two important places in r/loseit to check out first:

r/loseit FAQ

r/loseit's Before/After Picture Hall of Fame

So make an account and start your journey.

I completely agree with what Sally said about how you feel on the outside translating directly to how you feel on the inside. Looking better on the outside will make you happier and give you more confidence...which will help you make better decisions. Low self esteem very often leads to destructive decisions, whereas high self esteem gives you the ability to weigh your options without so much pain one either side.

For that reason, I'd hold off on the waiting decision until after you've fixed your first problem. Then, once you're happier, you can be more confident that whatever choice you make will be the right one for you...and that you're not just choosing out of desperation.

P.S. - You're going to see the acronym "NSV" all over r/loseit. That stands for "Non-Scale Victory". Example "[NSV] My normal clothes are too big for me now!"

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I consider myself overweight and I'm shorter than u and bigger but I know iam attractive I carry myself as if I was a size 9. I'm not cocky or think of myself highly but I love who iam and I'm a virgin by choice plenty of men have come at me trying to get a piece of me but I chose not to and yes they were attractive too, but they were after one thing and that's sex I know cuz they have told my friends that when they see me they want to have sex with me that's it

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Okeydokey Sophie,

I'm about to introduce you to your new best friend. Are you ready?

http://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/

Reddit is the largest "open secret" online community in the world. It is a truly amazing place, capable of putting you through all possible emotions on a given day, and teaching you lessons that you will remember for the rest of your life. It can also kill your daily productivity in 10 seconds flat, so for the love of your paycheck, do not browse at work.

Reddit is divided into different "subreddits" based on category. There's a jokes subreddit, a cycling subreddit, a reddit just for cute animal pictures, one for science, one for psychology, and many, many more.

r/loseit is a special section of reddit dedicated to weight loss. You will see people in r/loseit (with before/after pictures!) that have lost far, far more weight than you need to lose. You will find everything from inspiring stories to support and practical tips.

Here two important places in r/loseit to check out first:

r/loseit FAQ

r/loseit's Before/After Picture Hall of Fame

So make an account and start your journey.

I completely agree with what Sally said about how you feel on the outside translating directly to how you feel on the inside. Looking better on the outside will make you happier and give you more confidence...which will help you make better decisions. Low self esteem very often leads to destructive decisions, whereas high self esteem gives you the ability to weigh your options without so much pain one either side.

For that reason, I'd hold off on the waiting decision until after you've fixed your first problem. Then, once you're happier, you can be more confident that whatever choice you make will be the right one for you...and that you're not just choosing out of desperation.

P.S. - You're going to see the acronym "NSV" all over r/loseit. That stands for "Non-Scale Victory". Example "[NSV] My normal clothes are too big for me now!"

Thank you so much! This is great! And thank you for the advice! <3 I think once I finally get to a body where I feel comfortable and beautiful, I will be able to know my own mind much better.

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