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"Traditional" vs "modern" relationships

41 posts in this topic

Traditional Relationship

  • Guy pursues the girl, at least most of the time (asking out, paying for dates, proposing)
  • Goal of dating is strictly for marriage (courtship)
  • Girl stays home with kids while guy makes money after marriage
  • Father is the leader, protector and stricter role with kids while mother is nurturing, tender and supporter.
  • etc. etc......

 

Modern Relationship

  • Both people pursue each other equally. Girl might ask guy out, pay for first date (or split bill) or propose
  • Goal of dating may not have marriage as goal
  • Both people may work or father may stay home with kids
  • Little or no traditional gender roles involved
  • etc......

Which do you lean more towards or are you somewhere in between?

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Leaning towards traditional for us. I did the pursuing (she had NO chance ;)), paid for 90% of the dates, proposed, the goal of marriage was certainly marriage.

 

However we're pretty modern when it comes to marriage at this stage - we both do whatever is needed around the house - not necessarily gender based, more just who is more suited to the role at the time.

 

I'm pretty sure my wife will be a stay at home mum though.

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I am a traditionalist when it comes to dating but am more modern with marriage roles. I would like my husband to be a good leader, protector and to have a strong moral disposition with our son mostly because he will be a role model for my son. But then again I want to have a career so I don't want him to be the only worker...also I would think it would put stress on him in terms of being financially stable if he did not have a really high paying job. I don't think gender roles are really bad if they are done tastefully and respectfully. The dad is the leader but not overbearing, the mom can be a nurturer but not a push-over. 

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I'm definitely more modern. I do want to be the one who controls our financial plan, though. Not because I'm a a man and she's a woman. I just really like to control finances. If she has a plan that is better than mine or works really well with mine, it might end up as more of a team effort, though. In terms of dating I guess I'm more traditional, if being traditional means looking for marriage.

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I would say more tradtional but in todays age my wife may need a job due to bills. I also would like to point out that I don't think casual dating is wrong as long as you're not doing something, and just having fun with people.

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I'm much more of the modern relationship type of person. Well minus the fact they would pay for the dates, that's just unacceptable!

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I'm much more of the modern relationship type of person. Well minus the fact they would pay for the dates, that's just unacceptable!

Im glad you said that Josh I hear so many excuses from some men "well women want equal rights let them pay for themselve" pfft.  If you like the girl be a gentleman and pay for the dang date.

 

Im more traditional when it comes to dating...but  could never be a stay at home mother.

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I'm a psuedo-modern relationship type of guy.

 

Essentially a mixture of traditional and modern.

 

Get with the program, guys!

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The majority of "traditional" people--especially traditional women--are only traditional in their expectation that the man pays for everything, while seeking "equality" in every other aspect of the relationship. And that is the problem with the majority of people who call themselves traditional.

 

I call these relationships "semi-traditional", and I refuse to engage in them. Either we're traditional, or we're modern--no cherry-picking. I definitely prefer traditional relationships--but I am strictly referring to genuine tradition only.

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Definitely more traditional, with the exception of working and finances. I don't see myself ever being a stay-at-home mother. Too much blood, sweat, and tears have gone into my schooling for me to give up working. Also, I believe in both partners should manage finances together.

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Definitely more traditional, with the exception of working and finances. I don't see myself ever being a stay-at-home mother. Too much blood, sweat, and tears have gone into my schooling for me to give up working. Also, I believe in both partners should manage finances together.

 

Yesssssss.

 

This lady right here knows what's up.

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Definitely more traditional, except I'd be working too. Preferably from home, and preferably as an author, so I only have to write a couple of hours a day, then publish a boom every couple of years, and then spend the rest of my time with my family.

 

xxx

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Traditional Relationship

  • Guy pursues the girl, at least most of the time (asking out, paying for dates, proposing)
  • Goal of dating is strictly for marriage (courtship)
  • Girl stays home with kids while guy makes money after marriage
  • Father is the leader, protector and stricter role with kids while mother is nurturing, tender and supporter.
  • etc. etc......

 

Modern Relationship

  • Both people pursue each other equally. Girl might ask guy out, pay for first date (or split bill) or propose
  • Goal of dating may not have marriage as goal
  • Both people may work or father may stay home with kids
  • Little or no traditional gender roles involved
  • etc......

Which do you lean more towards or are you somewhere in between?

 

I'm more of a mixture of both

 

 

  • Guy pursues the girl, at least most of the time (asking out, paying for dates, proposing)- this could never be me
  • Goal of dating is strictly for marriage (courtship)-don't want to waste time with someone who's just not sure about marriage
  • Father is the leader, protector and stricter role with kids while mother is nurturing, tender and supporter or maybe this Little or no traditional gender roles involved -depending on his personality
  • Both people may work or father may stay home with kids- I'm going to work for sure. 
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Surprise, surprise I'm more traditional ;)!

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"Modern" or "progressive" relationships are a joke. People just want instant gratification--no bonding, no genuine loyalty. I look at modern America's idea of romance, which is more like a business transaction, and see nothing. Complete emptiness. Contemporary "relationships", which I feel is too strong a term, helped bring about the death of courtship and even romance in a lot of cases.

 

So its obvious which one I'm leaning towards.

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"Modern" or "progressive" relationships are a joke. People just want instant gratification--no bonding, no genuine loyalty. I look at modern America's idea of romance, which is more like a business transaction, and see nothing. Complete emptiness. Contemporary "relationships", which I feel is too strong a term, helped bring about the death of courtship and even romance in a lot of cases.

So its obvious which one I'm leaning towards.

So your saying people who want relationships where both the people are equal a joke? Just because two people don't want to be courted doesn't mean their relationship is a joke.

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Well, all I can say for sure is that actual dating will be with marriage in mind and I'll pay for the first date. Everything else is TBD. I'm half a puzzle with no idea whom the other half is nor how we'll fit together. As long as she's feminine and makes/allows me to be/feel masculine, I'm happy.

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So your saying people who want relationships where both the people are equal a joke? 

 

Of course not. You misunderstand me. Its not about "equality." Of course both people should work if they want a comfortable living. What I mean is that in today's idea of romantic love, and "relationships", sex isn't just demanded, its expected. People don't love each other, they love things about each other. Apparently Hollywood is in charge of how people should handle their relationships now, we're witnessing the consequences. 

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Of course not. You misunderstand me. Its not about "equality." Of course both people should work if they want a comfortable living. What I mean is that in today's idea of romantic love, and "relationships", sex isn't just demanded, its expected. People don't love each other, they love things about each other. Apparently Hollywood is in charge of how people should handle their relationships now, we're witnessing the consequences.

Oh alright, sorry I did misunderstand that, I hate that sex is expected now too in a relationship just because the media says so.

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Oh alright, sorry I did misunderstand that, I hate that sex is expected now too in a relationship just because the media says so.

 

Don't sweat it, friend. And don't even get me started on how the media depicts things. I assure you, its worse than you might have guessed-- the media is out to keep you ignorant, I kid you not. My mother, a Christian and a traditionalist, bought the "Magic Mike" movie.

 

Just try to imagine my shock.

 

I told her I didn't like having that filth in the house, as it spits on everything I stand for. She assured me it was just "entertainment value", and nothing more. I guess I could sympathize, as I play games with racy themes...I'm looking at you, Mass Effect.

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While I don't have as strong values towards the sex in media as you, as i watch many movies with sex in it and some of my favorite movies are about sex in relationships, I will agree though magic mike was a bit over the top as far as what is allowed to be put out there and not be labeled pornography.

And there's always the saying "sex sells" which is a huge reason it's so big in the media, and sometimes it's sadly true.

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I'm more traditional except I see myself and my husband both working. I can understand being a stay at home wife during the first few years after our kids are born or until they start school, but I don't like the idea of being a stay at home wife for the rest of my married life.

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Traditional! :wub:

 

"Modern" or "progressive" relationships are a joke. People just want instant gratification--no bonding, no genuine loyalty. I look at modern America's idea of romance, which is more like a business transaction, and see nothing. Complete emptiness. Contemporary "relationships", which I feel is too strong a term, helped bring about the death of courtship and even romance in a lot of cases.

 

So its obvious which one I'm leaning towards.

 

 

Of course not. You misunderstand me. Its not about "equality." Of course both people should work if they want a comfortable living. What I mean is that in today's idea of romantic love, and "relationships", sex isn't just demanded, its expected. People don't love each other, they love things about each other. Apparently Hollywood is in charge of how people should handle their relationships now, we're witnessing the consequences. 

Totally agree.

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I'm a mixture of both. I don't mind splitting the bill on dates or the guy being the stay at home father - although not sure that would happen unless I make good money. I don't think there would be specific gender roles but I would not mind if there was.

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