Tev

Christian men beg women not to dress like sluts

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Okay, good to know. Like I said I would only dress like that for my husband, he will be free to look all he wants, ha! ;)

 

Wouldn't that be wasteful to buy whole wardrobes to only wear in front of your husband around the house?

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Wouldn't that be wasteful to buy whole wardrobes to only wear in front of your husband around the house?

 

Heck no!

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Wouldn't that be wasteful to buy whole wardrobes to only wear in front of your husband around the house?

Ha, I think matthew's right. I mostly layer my clothes, a lot of women's tops are low cut to show cleavage, so I wear a tank top or some sort of other shirt under them to be modest. So, I could just not wear that "bottom" layer. But, I would love to buy some stuff to wear just for my husband, like for a candle-lit dinner at home-a sexy dress or two, they aren't really that expensive if you know where to shop. I'm pretty sure I could find a ton for $20 :)-definitely worth it to me!

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Ha, I think matthew's right. I mostly layer my clothes, a lot of women's tops are low cut to show cleavage, so I wear a tank top or some sort of other shirt under them to be modest. So, I could just not wear that "bottom" layer. But, I would love to buy some stuff to wear just for my husband, like for a candle-lit dinner at home-a sexy dress or two, they aren't really that expensive if you know where to shop. I'm pretty sure I could find a ton for $20 :)-definitely worth it to me!

The first part of your answer is really thrifty, actually. Honestly, I can see it being nice if I had a wife who did that. I was just kind of joking around with my first comment.

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I remember a good sunday when my pastor pulled me to the side saying that I 'shouldn't wear these kinda skirts anymore.' I was wearing a black knee-length skirt, there were no guys of my age in church at that time, and when more girls and guys started coming those girls dressed in even shorter skirts than me. A time after that when I was in charge of the projection of the lyrics for songs, one of the people in charge send me an email asking me to not wear jeans. I know that came from the pastors, and not from him. To this day, I still have no idea what I did wrong. I never had the intention to lead anyoneto sexual immorality and I was really shocked my pastor said that to me. Especially since there were girls wearing shorter skirts than me.(I debated on this and it might be because I was taller and liked wearing heels on top of it) Because of that experience I didnt wear skirts for a long time. Until one day I told my mom and she said 'Does he pay for your clothes? Mm? Exactly.'

 

She talked some sense into me, and now I wear whatever the heck I wanna wear. I don't wear super short skirts or super tight pants, but I am never gonna let any man make his sin my sin. I'm kind of tired of the way the church treats this topic cause the whole 'modest is hottest' thing is actually sexually objectifying in itself. On church camp the guys could swim wearing nothing but their speedo's, while we had to wear a one-piece with a shirt on top of it. (I didnt swim) In a way it feels like the church would just rather get rid of us women and our 'sinful' shape. I wonder how long it'll take for churches to make women wear burka's.

 

I never wear clothes with the intention of leading anyone to sin, but the problem with this is that even with that mindset guys can still lust over you. My whole mindset on guys changed when you guys started begging for us to cover up everything. If you guys don't wanna be seen as horndogs, this isnt really helping. lol.

 

There are a lot of girls who are just hot in whatever they wear, because they have an extremely pretty face or whatever. So being modest doesn't help for everyone. I just feel like whatever you wear, there will always be some guy finding something to lust over in your outfit. I try every day to dress in a way that if I ask myself 'Are you wearing this to impress anyone?' I can answer a sound 'no.' I do feel like it is important to dress in a way that shows that you respect your body. But I honestly never did that for guys, cause then I would again be trying to impress someone. I'm doing it because God asked me to, and because I just don't like trashy clothes.

 

I personally love it when guys wear tuxedo's, but never had any sexual fantasies about it or whatever. Ive also seen a lot of guys wearing tight tanktops, and if the guy has nice arms... Well, I like looking at it too. But I never seem to have any fantasy about it.

Theres a difference between just like how someone looks, and actually fantasising about her/him in a sexual way.

 

Anyway, that pastor never called me out again. I think its because he realised I wasnt the only one. And doesn't a little temptation make you stronger?

 

(I shouldve just been like 'Oh Pastor Im so sorry Im too hot for your church!' lol.)

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I remember a good sunday when my pastor pulled me to the side saying that I 'shouldn't wear these kinda skirts anymore.' I was wearing a black knee-length skirt, there were no guys of my age in church at that time, and when more girls and guys started coming those girls dressed in even shorter skirts than me. A time after that when I was in charge of the projection of the lyrics for songs, one of the people in charge send me an email asking me to not wear jeans. I know that came from the pastors, and not from him. To this day, I still have no idea what I did wrong. I never had the intention to lead anyoneto sexual immorality and I was really shocked my pastor said that to me. Especially since there were girls wearing shorter skirts than me.(I debated on this and it might be because I was taller and liked wearing heels on top of it) Because of that experience I didnt wear skirts for a long time. Until one day I told my mom and she said 'Does he pay for your clothes? Mm? Exactly.'

 

She talked some sense into me, and now I wear whatever the heck I wanna wear. I don't wear super short skirts or super tight pants, but I am never gonna let any man make his sin my sin. I'm kind of tired of the way the church treats this topic cause the whole 'modest is hottest' thing is actually sexually objectifying in itself. On church camp the guys could swim wearing nothing but their speedo's, while we had to wear a one-piece with a shirt on top of it. (I didnt swim) In a way it feels like the church would just rather get rid of us women and our 'sinful' shape. I wonder how long it'll take for churches to make women wear burka's.

 

I never wear clothes with the intention of leading anyone to sin, but the problem with this is that even with that mindset guys can still lust over you. My whole mindset on guys changed when you guys started begging for us to cover up everything. If you guys don't wanna be seen as horndogs, this isnt really helping. lol.

 

There are a lot of girls who are just hot in whatever they wear, because they have an extremely pretty face or whatever. So being modest doesn't help for everyone. I just feel like whatever you wear, there will always be some guy finding something to lust over in your outfit. I try every day to dress in a way that if I ask myself 'Are you wearing this to impress anyone?' I can answer a sound 'no.' I do feel like it is important to dress in a way that shows that you respect your body. But I honestly never did that for guys, cause then I would again be trying to impress someone. I'm doing it because God asked me to, and because I just don't like trashy clothes.

 

I personally love it when guys wear tuxedo's, but never had any sexual fantasies about it or whatever. Ive also seen a lot of guys wearing tight tanktops, and if the guy has nice arms... Well, I like looking at it too. But I never seem to have any fantasy about it.

Theres a difference between just like how someone looks, and actually fantasising about her/him in a sexual way.

 

Anyway, that pastor never called me out again. I think its because he realised I wasnt the only one. And doesn't a little temptation make you stronger?

 

(I shouldve just been like 'Oh Pastor Im so sorry Im too hot for your church!' lol.)

I agree and I think the pastor called you out for HIS personal reasons since everyone else was wearing shorter skirts maybe he found himself with sinful thoughts and decided to blame you for them.  This whole topic just rubs me the wrong way Jessica simpson who has DDs and was always ashamed of them for a while, because her body was considered "bad" in the church. So a woman that has great long legs and a vivacious body should cover up more wearing a big shawl and grandma clothes because a man "cant control his thoughts" and "its provoking" <_< .  As some of the comment said under the video a real man has the ability to respect you in any situation its his decision to do so.

Swoozie who is WTM had a naked girl and here's how he handled it.

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The first part of your answer is really thrifty, actually. Honestly, I can see it being nice if I had a wife who did that. I was just kind of joking around with my first comment.

I had a feeling you were joking, but it's always a bit hard to tell just by reading :). And yes, I am very thrifty ^_^.

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@Tatyana

I agree and I think the pastor called you out for HIS personal reasons since everyone else was wearing shorter skirts maybe he found himself with sinful thoughts and decided to blame you for them.  This whole topic just rubs me the wrong way Jessica simpson who has DDs and was always ashamed of them for a while, because her body was considered "bad" in the church. So a woman that has great long legs and a vivacious body should cover up more wearing a big shawl and grandma clothes because a man "cant control his thoughts" and "its provoking" <_< .  As some of the comment said under the video a real man has the ability to respect you in any situation its his decision to do so.

Swoozie who is WTM had a naked girl and here's how he handled it.

 

Lol, Swoozie, its not really smart to let a girl stay over anyway! (just imo) but of course that girl was just straight up NAKED in his room. Lol. I know you should be proud of your body as a woman but of course, thats just going too far. (It does make for a very entertaining youtube video tho) I remember Swoozie saying in one of his vids how much he is attracted to faces. Which is kinda where one of my arguments came from that if you really wanna make sure no one is having fantasies about you, you'd have to wear a burka.

 

Now of course having DD's does require some smart coverups. Theres just some things you can't wear when you have uhum. curves.. But just for the sake of selfrespect. (I honestly didn't consider legs to be attractive, or even an object of lust until someone told me they were. I really didnt see the difference between a bikini and a one-piece either, because the only difference was the stomach, right? I mean whats so sexy about a stomach? I guess that just shows how different our minds work. I remember a guy saying how he went crazy over womens shoulders. I was like.. wow.) Not because a group of horny guys told you so.

 

I think theres this is really hard for us girls to do, on one hand we feel like we're not noticed when we don't show a little skin, but the church condemns it at the same time. I feel like both the world and the church aren't handeling this topic the right way.

 

Weirdly enough, that pastor is a great guy and he's so old lol. I think because there werent many younger people he just wasnt able to put my outfit in perspective ya know? He didnt call me out later I think, because Im always in the back or doing Sunday School lol. So I hardly see him. Or he realised that his comment was out of line. I still don't understand why he didnt let his wife tell me, instead of doing it himself. But anyway, forgiven and forgetten. Ever since I stayed out of the 'spotlight' in church I don't get complains anymore. I remember one brother in church constantly complaining about how my heels are too high on top of my height. He's been complaining about that ever since I was 15. Dangit you guys have it easy. You don't even know how hard it is to have to watch what you wear all the time!

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I can't comment on this from a Christian viewpoint since I'm not Christian, lol, but I'll try to give it from an Islamic perspective since I'm a Muslim, lol!

 

As Muslims, we believe in God and obeying him by what he has revealed to us in the Qur'an. And in the Qur'an, God commands BOTH women AND MEN to dress modestly and commands BOTH women AND MEN to lower their gazes and not ogle/sexualize the other sex.

 

Sadly in the world, womenfolk are ridiculed and looked down upon in the world and hence everyone mentions and remembers that women need to dress modestly and forget about the men's need to dress modestly; even in some Islamic countries, this erroneous attitude is adopted. But, Islam is doing what God commands to do, not what people do.

 

So, although dressing immodestly is definitely a sin, regardless of man or woman, we each have to be responsible for our own selves. So being a man, I have to worry about myself and make sure that I dress modestly and that I lower my gaze and not ogle/stare at/or sexualize any woman! And as it's been stated before, anybody can be sexualized regardless of what he/she is wearing. True it would be nice if everybody dressed modestly, but I can't expect it from everyone nor do I have a right to enforce this on everyone!

 

So just summing up, however women dress is their choice, regardless of right or wrong, but MY responsibility is to make sure I do my best to respect them still, not sexualize them, and make sure that I dress myself modestly and correctly so as not to make myself a temptation for them and to obey God.

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So just summing up, however women dress is their choice, regardless of right or wrong, but MY responsibility is to make sure I do my best to respect them still, not sexualize them,

 

Like this part a lot. :) And of course I do my absolute best to respect guys.

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This whole topic just rubs me the wrong way Jessica simpson who has DDs and was always ashamed of them for a while, because her body was considered "bad" in the church. So a woman that has great long legs and a vivacious body should cover up more wearing a big shawl and grandma clothes because a man "cant control his thoughts" and "its provoking" <_< . 

 

I feel really bad for any girl in Jessica's position. Especially since her breasts are 100% real. Should she be ashamed for something that was naturally given to her? No way. Guys who shame girls with big breasts or a very attractive body do so because they create sexual desires in themselves, and they place the blame on the girl who did nothing wrong. Also, the countries with the most misogyny the world has ever seen force women to cover up their hair, and arms, and legs...and women still get raped, beaten, slut-shamed, stoned...clearly dressing modestly is NOT an automatic ticket to respect.

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I feel really bad for any girl in Jessica's position. Especially since her breasts are 100% real. Should she be ashamed for something that was naturally given to her? No way.

 

In Jessica Simpsons case, I don't know if she's still a christian or not, but she's certainly not ashamed of them now! If you know what I mean.. lol. So I don't think Jessica Simpson is the perfect example of a woman struggling to dress in a way that she isnt objectified regardles of her assets. But either way, I know plenty of women in the church who have amazing bodies, but dress really well. They look good, but they don't show too much skin (imo, at least) Don't know if they ever got called out for it. I guess the whole point of dressing modestly is that you can't see if a woman has a nice body or not. So I don't know. Right now I just ignore the whole thing and wear what I wanna wear. I don't feel comfortable in clothes that reveal too much anyway.

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Sophie has a very good point it just goes to show changing the way we dress wont stop people minds from going in a sexual direction, some men are turned on by skin tone, and lips.  Men are always commenting on my lips,and Im sure their thoughts are not pure I dont wear lipstick or anything to make them more "appealing".  Should I be ashamed of my lips and hide them around other men so I dont provoke their thoughts? I know thats to the extreme but its the same thing people are attracted to different things I ignore the whole thing too and wear what I want not to get attention but for myself. I show off my legs so what thats my decision even if im wearing jeans and a T my curves are visible, Im a woman we're made to be intriguing and beautiful.

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My thing with these articles is that is ignores woman who objectify men and hold them to a certain standard also. Men ask women to stop dressing like sluts and I ask men to stop dressing like thugs. If a guy doesn't want me automatically have a negative view of his desire to want to show his underwear and have 44,000 tattoos that are mostly vulgar then don't dress like a gangster.

I would think it hypocritical of me to tell men to stop asking women to dress a certain way because it causes a reaction because I pretty much complain about the same thing. I find them the same because both result in a negative reaction. Men view the women as slutty or as an object while I (and most of the women I know) view the men as thuggish, whorish and not worth my time. Though it is your choice what you wear you still have to live with people's viewpoints. So if a woman wants to walk out in a dress that looks like she had to be poured into it, has to bend down because bending over will show her underwear, boobs look like they are about to pop out with any movement then she should not be surprised if some views her in a less than positive light. While it is not the girl's fault if the guy has some type of reaction because she cannot control his body I think it is silly to dress in a completely inappropriate way and not think you are going to get stares. 

Same thing with men. If a guy walks down the street walking like a penguin due to his low jeans, shirt off like he's Hercules or something, has an entire row of gold in his mouth then of course there are going to be people who will avoid him due to his dressing as a certain caricature. 

Same as for anyone who decides to walk down the street completely naked with green jello over their body...

While no one should be physically or verbally abused for their dress it would be silly to think we can dress in absolutely whatever we want and not escape criticism. Would we think the same if someone decided to wear a costume with lights that frequently flashed? They certainly don't have control over our attention spans...

Also, while forming an opinion or a judgement is viewed in a negative light it is also protective. If a guy who was WTM viewed a girl who did compromise the basic view of immodesty then it would probably save him some heartache because she there would be a large chance that she would not be the best match. If a girl viewed a guy who dressed thuggishly and expressed himself in a chauvinistic manner than guess what her judgment of him is in her best interest. 

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Why is it that it is just us females that have to dress appropriately? I personally dont think its right to be wearing a string on your personal areas, but why is it always us? Its a "stero type" that women have 'low-libido' and we dont lust when we see a guy in tight clothes or a bathing suit or even appropriate clothes? Thats so wrong! I havent lusted for another guy since Ive been in a relationship, but I know that if he wore tight clothes around me, I wouldnt just be focused on his face. My point is, is that guys and girls both need to be thinking about how their clothing might make someone think or affect someone else. If we dress appropriately and someone lusts for us then it isnt our fault, no we dont control anyones tboughts but we are capable of influencing them.

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People can dress however the hell they wish. The Christian men can exercise the discipline they should already have and get over it. This reminds me of one occasion: one of the most stunning girls at my school had just had her gym class, and was in short shorts. I saw her and immediately looked away; I knew everyone else was ogling her, and was determined not to join that crowd.

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Here's my two-cents (I might be a little late to the party, but nevertheless):

 

I dress modestly because it's how I feel comfortable dressing. I set my own guidelines about what's appropriate or inappropriate for me to wear, and that's probably a bit more conservative than most girls but less than some. I dress modestly to respect myself and to honor God, because He gave me this body and I want to treat it right.

 

I don't, however, dress modestly for guys. I've heard guys say that they want girls to dress modestly because it helps them avoid temptation. I think that's a lame excuse. Guys can control themselves. They can keep themselves from checking out a girl's butt if they want to; it's just a matter of will power. I dress the way I dress for me and God, and no one else  :)

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