Tev

Christian men beg women not to dress like sluts

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I don't have problems with people who dress "provocatively" my mind doesn't race with all the things I could do to them, I think "they look good" and then I move on with my life. Not everyone is religious and don't wish to abide by what you think is an acceptable way to dress.

Also, I could "visually devour" someone in sweat pants and a sweat shirt just as easily as someone in short shorts. These people need to get over themselves, and why is it anyone else's problem some people don't control their thought process?

And becides, why is it so bad to look at other people? We're biologically designed to be attracted to the opposite sex and their visual appearance, it's not as if its unnatural.

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Well, that's interesting! I don't like how they said it was dressing like a slut, because I might dress up a little sexy for my husband one day, but I will never be a slut! I liked these responses:

 

"I'm a man. I have the shocking capacity to find a woman smokin' hot and respect her and take her seriously. I swear that doing two things at once IS possible."

 

"dressing modestly...puts the focus on herself, not on her body"

 

Is it really that hard to keep your eyes from drifting down? Seriously, I have no idea, I'm not a guy :)!

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And no it isn't hard at all to keep your eyes from drifting down.

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And no it isn't hard at all to keep your eyes from drifting down.

 

Josh, you've mentioned elsewhere on multiple occasions that you have a very low sex drive. It is hard. Maybe not when I'm interacting with the girl in question, but if I'm in a position to look discreetly, not doing so can be nigh impossible.

 

But that's all I will do. Glance discreetly.

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Josh, you've mentioned elsewhere on multiple occasions that you have a very low sex drive. It is hard. Maybe not when I'm interacting with the girl in question, but if I'm in a position to look discreetly, doing so can be nigh impossible.

That's becides the point, it's not anyone else's problem someone wont control their thoughts, seeing someone dressed provacativly shouldn't make you want to jump on top of them and go to town.

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I am all for modesty, but stuff like this bothers me. If a guy can't keep his thoughts pure, that is not our problem. It is not OUR job to keep the male mind clean. We don't tell men not to wear tight shirts or tight pants because we might get hot and bothered by it, or whatever. We don't tell guys to wear shirts with their bathing suits lest their bare chest drives us into a frenzy. PUH-LEEZE. Is it too much to ask that men don't tell us how to dress? Especially with the totally pathetic excuse that "All I need to know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait to my sinful mind." wtf?! Sorry some men are so dirty-minded, but it is NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY to "help" with that. and girls get turned on by guys who dress in pleasing ways, too. but we would never dream of saying "stop dressing like a man-whore."

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Josh, you've mentioned elsewhere on multiple occasions that you have a very low sex drive. It is hard. Maybe not when I'm interacting with the girl in question, but if I'm in a position to look discreetly, not doing so can be nigh impossible.

Okay, good to know. Like I said I would only dress like that for my husband, he will be free to look all he wants, ha! ;)

 

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I am all for modesty, but stuff like this bothers me. If a guy can't keep his thoughts pure, that is not our problem. It is not OUR job to keep the male mind clean. We don't tell men not to wear tight shirts or tight pants because we might get hot and bothered by it, or whatever. We don't tell guys to wear shirts with their bathing suits lest their bare chest drives us into a frenzy. PUH-LEEZE. Is it too much to ask that men don't tell us how to dress? Especially with the totally pathetic excuse that "All I need to know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait to my sinful mind." wtf?! Sorry some men are so dirty-minded, but it is NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY to "help" with that. and girls get turned on by guys who dress in pleasing ways, too. but we would never dream of saying "stop dressing like a man-whore."

I completely agree!

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I am all for modesty, but stuff like this bothers me. If a guy can't keep his thoughts pure, that is not our problem. It is not OUR job to keep the male mind clean. We don't tell men not to wear tight shirts or tight pants because we might get hot and bothered by it, or whatever. We don't tell guys to wear shirts with their bathing suits lest their bare chest drives us into a frenzy. PUH-LEEZE. Is it too much to ask that men don't tell us how to dress? Especially with the totally pathetic excuse that "All I need to know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait to my sinful mind." wtf?! Sorry some men are so dirty-minded, but it is NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY to "help" with that. and girls get turned on by guys who dress in pleasing ways, too. but we would never dream of saying "stop dressing like a man-whore."

True, but I can look at a guy and really like what I see, but not think any sexual thoughts. Maybe I'm just really innocent, I don't know?

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@Josh, I didn't say it wasn't the man's responsibility where he looks or what goes on in his mind when he does. I was only addressing your statement that it's not hard to not look. It is. I agree that women aren't responsible for what goes on in a man's mind, but they do have to accept that how they dress can affect what and how a man thinks about her.

 

I agree though that it's my responsibility to avert my mind and eyes if my thoughts start going too far. I also agree with Kailey, there's a large distance to cover between "that's a nice butt" and "OMG THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO HER."

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Haha, I didn't say it wasn't the man's responsibility where he looks or what goes on in his mind when he does. I was only addressing your statement that it's not hard to not look. It is. I agree that women aren't responsible for what goes on in a man's mind, but they do have to accept that how they dress can affect what and how a man thinks about her.

I agree though that it's my responsibility to avert my mind and eyes if my thoughts start going too far.

I wasn't referring to you in the can't control thoughts thing really, I lumped that whole thing together meaning a woman shouldn't be responsible for a mans thoughts while replying to what you said.

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And another thing, men are asking women not to dress that way because of their thoughts. Should I not drive a nice car or have a nice house then because it will make other people jealous and think of how that could be theirs?

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True, but I can look at a guy and really like what I see, but not think any sexual thoughts. Maybe I'm just really innocent, I don't know?

Well guys can look at girls and not think anything sexual either, but I hear plenty of girls talking about what they'd do with a certain guy even when he's wearing jeans and a sweat shirt.

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True, but I can look at a guy and really like what I see, but not think any sexual thoughts. Maybe I'm just really innocent, I don't know?

 

It's not just you. I've never had a sexual fantasy about a stranger in my life. I still don't think at all that it is okay to blame the stranger. or celebrity. or whatever.

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Well guys can look at girls and not think anything sexual either, but I hear plenty of girls talking about what they'd do with a certain guy even when he's wearing jeans and a sweat shirt.

 

so, so true. girls talk like this all the time, even though it's all just fantasy and most of us would never actually do it. Fantasies are harmless. It's the sick, disgusting psychos who force their fantasies on others.

 

Most girls have fantasies just about celebrities. but only the really twisted ones become stalkers. but no one would blame the guy for being so hot. so why blame the girl? I really hate this double-standard.

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Well guys can look at girls and not think anything sexual either, but I hear plenty of girls talking about what they'd do with a certain guy even when he's wearing jeans and a sweat shirt.

Guess that answers my question, I like being innocent :)!

 

It's not just you. I've never had a sexual fantasy about a stranger in my life. I still don't think at all that it is okay to blame the stranger. or celebrity. or whatever.

True-

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Wow I dont really have much else to say I agree with Josh and sophie. Each individual must control themselves no excuses Im sorry but to blame someone else for your dirty mind is where people get whole "its your fault you were raped" crap. Just because a woman is dressed a certain way doesnt make it ok for anyone to  disrespect her...she is still a human being.  Even if she was butt naked in front of you, be a man take responsibility for your own actions harsh but the truth.

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I love dressing modestly, I don't ever wear anything revealing. This video/text though, it makes it seem like guys can't control themselves, which I know isn't true. While I think modesty is the way to go, I still think other people should get to choose what they want to wear. It's the judgmental thinking that bothers me, automatically assuming someone is a certain way because of the way they are dressed. Even though I love dressing modestly, I would never judge someone who didn't.

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Is it really that hard to keep your eyes from drifting down? Seriously, I have no idea, I'm not a guy :)!

 

And this is where the divide lies. Men are different so it's difficult to understand how the other sex operates. Men and women's brains, for the most part, are stimulated by different things. Most men are more visual and most women are more emotional. It's true that we're are all responsible for our own thoughts and actions. In addition, guys will lust no matter what a girl is wearing, but it simply makes it more difficult for us to keep a pure mind if girls dress immodestly because that's how we're wired. We were created to desire a woman's body. In the same way, if a guy makes an insensitive joke about a girl's period, it shouldn't surprise him if she gets very upset. Maybe that kind of joke would be funny to certain guys, but it's a very sensitive issue for girls. I'm not excusing anything, all I'm saying is let's try to be more understanding of each other or else all we're going to do is keep pointing fingers at each other.

 

We don't tell men not to wear tight shirts or tight pants because we might get hot and bothered by it

 

You should tell men not to wear tight pants. Skinny jeans are an abomination to the male species and might as well be considered a sin to wear. It's bad fashion and bad for male fertility :D

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And this is where the divide lies. Men are different so it's difficult to understand how the other sex operates. Men and women's brains, for the most part, are stimulated by different things. Most men are more visual and most women are more emotional. It's true that we're are all responsible for our own thoughts and actions, but it simply makes it more difficult for us to keep a pure mind if girls dress immodestly because that's how we're wired. In the same way, if a guy makes an insensitive joke about a girl's period, it shouldn't surprise him if she gets very upset. Maybe that kind of joke may be funny to certain guys, but it's a very sensitive issue for girls. I'm not excusing anything, all I'm saying is let's try to be more understanding of each other or else all we're going to do is keep pointing fingers at each other.

^ pretty much this...

 

my 2 cents, yes is true that is our job to keep a clear mind..,but when girls dress immodestly it doesn't make it "easy".. just an opinion.. 

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And what exactly is so bad about thinking about someone in that way?

 

Nothing. As long as a guy keeps his fantasies to himself, or there is 100% mutual consent, sexual fantasies - or just strong physical attraction - is not bad. And if some "good" Christian men have to BEG women to stop dressing like "sluts," they're misogynists. If a guy tells a girl how to act, how to dress, and calls her a "slut," or tell her she looks like one, he is fooling himself he thinks he respects the female race. Even if he doesn't mean any harm and thinks he is being helpful, it is still offensive and unfair. A lot of men think women are too ignorant and naive - that we don't realize how easily the male mind can slip into sexual territory - except we are aware that the way we dress can cause sexual thoughts in guys, but it doesn't matter to us as long as the thoughts stay in his head. It's not like we never think about stuff like that! We're not THAT pure. lol.

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I'm not saying that a woman shouldn't be allowed to dress a certain day buy I think at the same time if you are a Christian like they were on the site a woman should realize that men are very visual. We remember more through what we see therefore more stimulated by what we see, why lots of mean like nice cars big TVs , they like looking at nice things. As a christian man I am always watching my thoughts not always so well but I try. Honestly most woman that do dress in a so called provocative don't get me going not my thing when woman reveal to much kinda a turn off honestly but I do have to watch my mind when I think about my girlfriend and see her and sometimes when I'm caught off guard by certain girls.

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