lovelydream1021

No Kids? Is this an option for you?

31 posts in this topic

Hi Everyone!

 

So Josh's question about the amount of years we'd like to be alone with our spouse before having kids made me think- what if your husband/wife didn't want to have kids? What if they didn't want to/couldn't have biological children and would rather adopt? Would that be a deal-breaker in a relationship?

 

Personally, if I don't have kids, that's fine. But I've been thinking about it and I would prefer to have kids if I can. I have a lot to offer in advice, love, and guidance for a child/children and it would make those later years in life more memorable and fulfilling. Adoption would be great too- there are a lot of kids out there that need love, and I would be happy to raise a few if my husband couldn't have children.

(Not sure if this question was posed, but feel free to answer if you'd like).

 

So what do you think? :)

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I asked a question very similar to this a while back, about not having kids. I wouldn't mind not having children, but it would depend on what my S.O thinks about it. If after I get married (whenever that may be) my spouse decides he wants kids then I would be willing to. If he didn't though, I would not object. I'd be fine either way, I could be a loving mother, but I want to have a choice of whether I ever want to become one.

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Wow, so many topics about kids recently :)! If he didn't want to have kids that would be a deal-breaker, if he couldn't have kids it wouldn't be a deal-breaker.

 

The desire to have children is very natural and normal, I very much have that motherly instinct and want to be a mother. The thought of carrying a baby inside seems very thrilling and magical, even though I know it has its discomforts-I hope and pray God grants me the blessing more than once :D. Adoption is very wonderful too, I have become very attached to children I have taught and know I would love an adopted child just as much.

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Well generally your naturally drawn to people very similar in ideals and beliefs to yourself so most likely of you want kids they want them too. But if my future wife did not want kids it is not necessarily a deal breaker. I may reconsider our relationship and how much I want kids but its not a 100 percen deal breaker. Now if she couldn't have kids that's perfectly fine, I'm always willing to adopt because not being able to have kids does not mean she doesn't want them.

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 If he didn't want to have kids that would be a deal-breaker, if he couldn't have kids it wouldn't be a deal-breaker.

 

I completely agree! I've never understood how men could not like children. (Women I understand because it takes it's toll on your body and women are generally the main caregivers).

 

That being said, I've never met a guy who has explicitly said he doesn't want kids. Maybe it's more common in women? A very good friend of mine doesn't want kids.

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I've always wanted to be a father and I adore children :) I hope to be the best family man I can possibly be for my wife and kids. If she didn't want kids at all, it would be a deal breaker. If she was barren, that's fine and we'll just adopt. I also hope to instill our values to our children so they can pass it on to their children as well. I think the ability and opportunity to have children is a gift.

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I actually didnt always want kids. I had an epiphany recently that if I really was in love with this man, I would want to raise kids with him. I didnt want kids because I had a terrible mother and I would worry too much and try to be too perfect. I also have littel faith in todays society, but I feel like Ive been reassured by God so that has opened up. If my husband didnt want kids, I would want to be sure that it wasnt cause he hated them or somethin, ya know?

 

It would be okay if we didnt have kids. We could focus on charity or something similar.

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A guy who doesn't want kids would be a deal breaker for me. Also, not to generalize, but the guys that I have met so far who don't want kids/doesn't like kids are not that nice to be around. A guy who biologically could not have kids would not be a deal breaker because of adoption.

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Hmmmmmm I think everyone on here should have lots and lots of children or adopt. Why ? Ok the vast majority of folk here have a fantastic attitude towards marriage,relationships and sex. This attitude will surely be passed on to those children who will start life better aware of their choices rather than just being driven along by "the norm" it is only a complete change of attitude in society that will make our wonderful world a better place to live. That's a job for us now and those who follow us in the future.

All the best, Col.

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No, not an option. I've always wanted to have kids. I feel that a family would be incomplete without them. I would like to have biological children and/or adopt. 

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I've always felt a calling to adopt a daughter from a part of the world where women generally suffer widespread prejudice and aren't afforded the same opportunities as men.  It would be hard for me to accept if my hypothetical wife wouldn't accede to that particular calling, but if she genuinely hated the idea...well...it would still bother me.  It hurts to give up on a dream.

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I'm undecided on if I want children. So, its hard for me to say if it would be a dealbreaker. Considering how many other dealbrekers I have it might be better for this not to be another one.

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Not having kids is not an option for me. I would prefer 2-4, but I would be willing to compromise for just 1. But 0? No. I think I would really regret not having children, but I could never regret having them. No matter how awful their teen years may be. XD

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I don't really want kids, so it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.  I would be willing to talk about having kids, maybe see if I have a change of heart. For me, I am more career focused, so I feel like that would be a detriment to any children I might have in the future. I just don't feel like I would be there for them like I would need to be. If my husband wanted kids he would definitely need to take equal part in raising them and I don't mean he works and brings in the money while I take care of the children at home. 

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I've always wanted children so it's definitely a deal breaker. There would be a whole in my heart all of my life if I never had any.

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I want children and it most definitely is a deal-breaker. I feel like only my female friends have expressed anti-children sentiments--all the guys I know want children in the future, albeit the far future.

 

I just think my life would be incomplete if I didn't have children. I want to be a mother; I want to raise children with my husband and go to fairs and the beach and Disney World. I want to dress them up in costumes for Halloween and decorate gingerbread houses with them during Christmas. A childless marriage just seems...barren. 

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I used to NOT want kids at all in high school-I wanted a career and to be independent-I wasn't even sure that I wanted to be married! Well, I definitely want to marry, but I'm not for sure on kids. I love my students and having those 'kids' in my life would be a-ok until around 30. I think I'll be at a very different place in my life then. I do know for sure that I do not want to have kids in my 20's. I'm 22 now, have no idea when I'll get married if ever, and I want at least a few years teaching ideally before I have kids.

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I dont want kids, I dont want to be responsible for putting a life into this world seeing the direction it is going...Could you imagine how hard it would be for your child to WTM? Itll be harder for the child then it is for you...The world is falling apart, what used to be right is now wrong, what used to be wrong is now right...were running out of resources for people we cant even manage to support our 7 billion properly with our greed....child would have a hard life In every way

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Whether it is through adoption, fostering, or having my own I am having kids! It would be a complete deal breaker for me if they didn't want any. If they couldn't have any that's a completely different story as long as they are okay with adopting.

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I definitely want kids, no more than two, I feel like my life wouldn't be complete without having children.

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I must have children and if my boyfriend didn't want them and couldn't at least have one with me, then I couldn't be with him!  Thank goodness, we both want two. <3

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Ehh if they happen then they happen and if they don't , well then they don't. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, but I am at the moment in my life where I just want to explore the world!!! 

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