Mstr Josh

How long after getting married will you want to have kids?

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So how long after getting married would you wish to have children?

I think I would want to wait a while to have kids after getting married, maybe two-three years just to have time for ourselves before starting a family : D

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I actually want to wait a while. I've always dreamed of going on cruises, traveling, trying out new things, and getting to bond with my husband- really live out our lives to the fullest. I want to enjoy a few years with my husband alone, and focus on our relationship. Then we can start a family when we've done most of what we've wanted to do. I really dislike the term "settle down" because of its implication that all the fun will stop and all of the chores will begin. That's not true at all! No part of life should ever make you feel you can no longer pursue your dreams. Sure, kids are a big responsibility, but that doesn't mean everything has to be boring and serious like the term implies! Your marriage should be the beginning of an exciting life, not the end of it. :)

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How long after I get married depends on how old I am. But like LD I want to spend some quality years with just my wife; no parental responsibilities *looks off into space and daydreams for a few minutes*. Ideally I'll get married in my twenties and then start having kids in my mid-30s. I don't want to wait until I'll be too old to wrestle my son(s). lol

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Ideally, I want to spend at least a few years just myself and my wife but that's probably not to happen. I'm almost 28 and it's highly unlikely I'll be married by the time I'm 32. By then, I don't really have much choice but to have kids relatively soon after marriage because I'd rather have my first child before my mid-thirties. I don't want to 60 by the time my first child graduates high school. It sucks not being able to enjoy a childless marriage just right off the wedding, but we can't always get what we want in life.

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I'm starting a family straight away! I want lots of kids, so I'd want to start early.

 

Plus, I've heard of a study that showed that couples who have children in their first few years of marriage have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who put off having kids for a few years. 

 

(I'm going to go look and try and find the study, and give you guys the statistics, and whatnot, and then I'll post them in here...)

 

EDIT: Found the study! 

 

http://www.nber.org/papers/w0202.pdf

 

It's extremely complicated, but it shows that there's a reduced chance of divorce if you have, for example, one child in the first five years of marriage than if you have no children, and that rate goes down even further if you have two children in the first five years. But obviously, those are just statistics, and I have other reasons besides that one to start a family early.

 

xxx

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I'm starting a family straight away! I want lots of kids, so I'd want to start early.

 

Plus, I've heard of a study that showed that couples who have children in their first few years of marriage have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who put off having kids for a few years. 

 

(I'm going to go look and try and find the study, and give you guys the statistics, and whatnot, and then I'll post them in here...)

 

EDIT: Found the study! 

 

http://www.nber.org/papers/w0202.pdf

 

It's extremely complicated, but it shows that there's a reduced chance of divorce if you have, for example, one child in the first five years of marriage than if you have no children, and that rate goes down even further if you have two children in the first five years. But obviously, those are just statistics, and I have other reasons besides that one to start a family early.

 

xxx

Maybe I'm too cynical, but that stat makes me hypothesize that many of those couples want a divorce and stay together for the kids.

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Maybe I'm too cynical, but that stat makes me hypothesize that many of those couples want a divorce and stay together for the kids.

Yeah that's the main reason my parents have stayed together, they hate each other but stay together for the kids.

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Yeah that's the main reason my parents have stayed together, they hate each other but stay together for the kids.

Staying together for the kids is a tough concept. Some parents can still get along even if they don't want to be together and, to me, it is definitely better for them to stay together for the kids then. But parents who openly argue and hate one another staying together for the kids might be doing just as much if not more damage to the kids by staying together.

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Maybe I'm too cynical, but that stat makes me hypothesize that many of those couples want a divorce and stay together for the kids.

 

Perhaps. But like I said, that's not the main reason I want to start a family early anyway.

 

xxx

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I would like to start having them 6 months to a year after we're married. If they come earlier than that I'd still be happy. I love kids!

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I'd want a few years of just me and my husband, but I think I want to start having kids in my late 20's or early 30's. I'd love to get a dog almost right away though!

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Perhaps. But like I said, that's not the main reason I want to start a family early anyway.

 

xxx

I know. Some people (I'm assuming you) really like kids and really like the idea of having a family as soon as it is feasible. I don't like kids. I like the idea of having a family and I think I will want them eventually, but not for a long, long time. There are other goals I want to achieve before having kids, if I ever want kids. So, for me, it means being married for a while before having kids and using birth control strictly and extensively. That's assuming I get married and that I'm not in my 40s when I get married, though.

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A year at most, but probably less than that :)! There is nothing like holding a newborn as they sleep on you (talking about my niece) :)
 

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I put some more thought into it. I want to have three possibly four kids, spaced about 2 or 3 years apart (worked great for me and my brothers). If my first child is born when I'm 35, that would put me at most at 62 when my last child graduates high school (assuming I have four). I think this is reasonable if I stay healthy. Also, this would put me near the perfect age for retirement, assuming that's still possible.

 

If I get married earlier than expected I might start earlier, of course.

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Well, at least 2 years after but maybe more depending on my age. I want to be able to have kids as easily as possible but I need sometime where it's just me and my hubby enjoying each other as much as possible and traveling etc.

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I'd like to spend at least one year or so with just my wife, getting to know her in ways I couldn't prior to getting married, before helping my wife bring a beautiful baby boy or girl into our lives.  :)  But after that, it's up to her and God......

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I want atleast 5-10 years with my husband that has always been my plan I dont care how old I am(since I plan to adopt either way) I want to spend time with my honey.  I was also told by MANY successfully married and happy women that I should be selfish and not rush to have kids they all said they enjoyed traveling and becoming closer with their hubby during adventures which strengthened their bond.  

 

Then they settled into having children even though children can be a handful they were ready for what was to come next.  Thats what type of marriage I want...

 

I also kept hearing "put your husband first before your kids" and I was always against that, but now I've come to an understanding that the marriage is the foundation of the home and if that is unstable how will the children be raised right? also if you neglect your spouse for your kids all the time you will lose that bond and when the kids go off to college you and your spouse will be strangers. I never thought of it that way, I always planned to put my kids first no matter what now that has opened my eyes. Now I know how I should balance everything accordingly but we all know things dont always go as planned.

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I'd like to start the family right away!  :D

 

To me, being married for 5 (?) years without any children would make me feel...empty. We could have all the fun, love and adventure in the world, but if I were to go so long without kids, I'd feel that something is missing from my life. (I hope I didn't offend anyone....)

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I want to wait at least 2-3 years before having children.  I want to enjoy marriage with my husband FIRST then enjoy marriage with my husband AND my children for the rest of my life after that.  

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I want to wait at least 2-3 years before having children.  I want to enjoy marriage with my husband FIRST then enjoy marriage with my husband AND my children for the rest of my life after that.  

 

I feel the same...would love 2 or 3 years with my hubby so that we can travel, stay in bed on a lazy sunday, do stuff that my friends are currently doing with their live-in boyfriends...I want that alone time and will cherish it!

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Like most of you said, I want to enjoy a few years with my hubby of it just being us.  

 

We know we only want two children and I like the idea of having them 1-2 years apart.  I think I'd like having pets near instantly though!  

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I prefer accidentally getting pregnant and as a result having to get married. JUST KIDDING!!

 

Yes, I would like several years with my husband before we add kids and do all the things we wanna do :) but with how I imagine our marriage, I wouldnt be surprised if we had a surprise. ;) haha. 

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Right away! I've wanted kids for so long, as long as we both weren't desperately poor, I see no reason to wait.

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Right away! I've wanted kids for so long, as long as we both weren't desperately poor, I see no reason to wait.

No reason for you to wait or in general? I can definitely think of reasons I, personally, would want to wait besides just not being deperately poor.

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