Mike

Explain why you decided to wait in 5 lines or less [for the book]

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I decided to wait because my girlfriend is a waiter. Before I met her I already believed sex was something I only wanted to to do with someone I loved, so I simply made the transition.
- Morkant, 20

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I chose to wait until marriage to have sex because I feel it is the ultimate expression of love. All my life I have searched for attributes that would define my individuality, sexual purity was one that naturally fit amongst kindness, integrity, and honestly. As I grew older I saw those around me having sex without any real awareness of it's awesome power. I saw heart break, emotional pain, and regret. I didn't want to avoid these because I know they cause sorrow, but because I whole-heartedly believe that there is a woman out there who will be moved by my commitment to her. Though I haven't found her yet, I believe in my choice. For this is my quest, and what is meant to be, will always find a way...

Justin, 25

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I decided to wait because I knew it was the right thing to do (for me). I knew that adhering to social tradition for the sole point of adhering to social tradition was pointless and that I needed to think for myself. I decided that I wanted my wife to be pure, and to enjoy something special with me, for the first time. I knew that waiting until marriage would be tough, but it would give me the opportunity to enjoy something completely unique and special with a woman that I never had with anybody else.

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i dont when i decided to wait, i just know that i was always shy talking to girls so i never really thought to much about it, as i grew older i realized that i knew in my heart that waiting was the right thing to do. i just knew it was what god wanted me to do and as i looked back at my family and realized everyone in my family had done the same made me want it more. but what really was the icing on the cake was seeing my brother get married a few years ago and noticing the true dedication and passion between them in their longing for one another and the innocence that went with it by waiting, i knew no one could convince me otherwise on my decision.

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I have planned on waiting until marriage ever since first learning about sex, as I was taught that doing otherwise would be wrong. But I truly committed to the decision on my own, very privately and after considerable thought, around the age of fourteen, after coming to the understanding that saving this part of myself for my husband would be one of the greatest acts of love and devotion that I could perform. I knew I wanted to wait and only be with him, and although I knew my hope might be in vain, I hoped that he was waiting for me too. Thus, my decision was formed from a mixture of a desire to do what was morally right and a longing to be united completely with my husband, with no barriers of past relationships between us. I knew I was doing something a bit out of the ordinary, but I had no idea at the time just how rebellious I was being from the standards of my generation.

 

- Dani, 24

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I grew up in a Christian home however after some abuse and rebellion I started looking for love in the wrong places. I remember thinking I would never find anyone who loved me if I wasn't willing to sleep with him. I know, my vision of love was completely backwards. I lost my virginity at a young age and drifted away from God. All that road brought was a lot of hurt and unfulfillment. However, at the age of 18 in His forgiveness and perfect love, God started pursuing me and He captured my heart. He forgave and restored me and gave me a crown of beauty for ashes. I have now decided to trust Him completely and honor His will for my life, which includes waiting until marriage. Although for non believers it might be hard to understand having a second chance at purity and waiting, that's who my God is. The God of second chances, He makes all things new!

 

Sarah, 22

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I decided to wait as a selfless expression of love for my future spouse. The greatest show of love that could ever be displayed. It brings a new meaning to "Giving yourself in whole". You wouldn't dumpster dive for a gift, would you? Probably not, unless you were really into recycling. Why be just another "recycled" gift when you could stand out as fresh and vibrant? You're not re-gifting yourself, you're giving yourself.

 

-Mollie, 18

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I decided to wait after being through several really rough breakups.  Sex, to me, is a very strong symbol of love and trust and I feel that if I had shared something that is so special with any of the partners I later broke up with, the heartache would have just been so much worse.  Months later, I was taking a walk and debating internally whether deciding to wait was the right thing for me when I saw something glinting in the sun on the street ahead of me.  It was a steel purity ring, easily identified by the inside inscription which said "true love waits." I tried it on, and, surprisingly, it fit on my wedding finger.  I decided then and there to hold strong to my resolution and definitely wait till marriage.  I  still wear the ring every day and plan to only take it off when exchanging it for a wedding ring, at which point I hope to either wear it on a necklace or give it to my husband. 

 

-Copper, age 24

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I've decided to wait for a number of reasons.  First and foremost as a matter of respect.  Not only for my future wife but, most importantly myself.  If I can't respect myself enough to keep something as monumental as my first time sacred.  How can I expect my future love to respect me?  It may not be what's concedered cool or hip.  But it's one of the few things I myself have complete and utter control of in my life.  And to me that is cool, and isn't that all that really matters?                                                                   Zach 28 Kansas

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Patience is a state of being; it is a harmony given to all but mastered by few, and thankfully, I learned the art of waiting at an early age. To me, life is too short, but not in favor of promiscuity; no, quite the opposite. I blieve that life should be memorable and should be shared with your soulmate. The key to those unforgattable memories? Simple. Embracing your mate's pure love like s/he should yours.

 

Sorry if this sounded too philosophical!

 

Sean, 24, Florida

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The reasons I've delayed having sex, with the intention of only ever having sex within marriage are many. My father, who's Muslim (as am I), sat me down once as a kid, when I was getting to that point in life where sex would become a topic of importance for me, and gave me 'the talk', but in a different manner than a lot of kids get it. He told me about how sex and the pleasure of it is a great gift and how it has the potential, unlike just about everything else, to make a marriage strong enough to last, if it's saved for your one and only and vice versa. He told me about how my mom and him waited for and with each other, and how much of a difference that made. They're from different areas of the World, different faiths, and different ethnicities, so there naturally has been a ton of pressure on them to split. However due to their having waited, they've always had a reason to stick it out, since it's led them to feeling that they were meant for each other only and not just some random person. That's the kind of basis I'd want for any marriage I might end up being one half of. After I left home for the first time, I faced my first set of challenges and a whole lot of temptation. Luckily I was able to remain smart about things and as I saw others around me destroying themselves (emotionally and so on) through giving in and having sex outside of marriage, I remained aloof and walked my own path, which was and still is hard, knowing how so many go the other way with a superficial confidence that they only relinquish later in life, once they get wiser and want to join 'the other crowd'. However hard it gets and lonely and depressing it may be, I'd rather be a rebel like this and keep on dreaming and working on my dreams, than ever admit defeat and become just like everyone else who surrendered and sold out. If Death doesn't reach me first, I shall have my day...and hopefully so shall we all, those of us who waited and fought the good fight, while everyone else was slacking off. - Kian, 26

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There was a teacher, one who i respected greatly,who one day just decided to skip a class and talk about saving ourselves for the one we love and how special it would be to know that they went through all those trials, for all that time,and they did it for you......Then a bunch of Life happened and basically that moral has become more of an obsession,I crave that deep connection, something that barely anyone will ever understand.

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It started with my faith, of course.  But when you're young, and still trying to figure it all out - beliefs, feelings, urges, love, romance, sex, religion (and in just about that order...)...  you have to get your head around what you're going to do when those Moments start showing up.  I decided I never wanted to just fall casually into those Big Grown-Up Things (drugs, alcohol, sex) without knowing what I wanted to do and when I would be "ready."  While I could be impulsive and try new things - being "casual" about dating, love or sex was never me - and by college, it was a Choice...  My faith matched up with my heart.  I wanted to truly meet someone, fall in love, and be literally only with that person as my wife.  And so - I waited.  Happily.  And married.  Even more happily.

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ooops i broke the 5-line rule.  hate me later Mike.

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I made the choice to wait without ever consciously making it; I simply realized one day that it was what I had always believed. I wait because for me, sex isn't purely physical. It's spiritual. It's a gift from God, and I want it to be special.

 

- Cara, 19

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I always wanted to fight the good fight; to stand and make a difference. When you look back the only people that made a difference were the ones that stood up for what they believed in. Or maybe it’s just because I am stubborn. But deep down inside I believe in Christ’s love for me. In love Christ sacrificed His life for me. So when He calls upon me to stand and sacrifice for Him. How could I refuse Him? In return He gives me His love and promises the love of another. Semper Fi (Always Faithful)

 

Jordan, 22 - USMC

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I am WTM because of the values it fosters in a person and in a relationship.  When a person is not willing to wait for marriage, their actions are saying that they value the other person less as a whole human being and more as a sexual being.  I am looking for a philanthropist, someone who wants to do good in their own life and in the world; not someone who's only priority is to have fun and settles with the superficial in life.  You can tell a lot about a person who is waiting until marriage. Someone who waits for marriage looks at their long term goals as well as their short term.
-Stacie, 28

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I desired to be a keeper. I wanted to remain whole without having pieces of me being distributed between various men, never to be reunited again. The gift of love is divine; therefore, I longed to be priceless in the life of my future husband. Being someone's "once upon a time" was not nearly as appealing as being their "happily ever after". 

 

--Brytney, 23

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I have decided to wait untill marriage because I want a marriage opposite to my parents. I want a real marriage, a marriage where two people love each other unconditonally, would never do anything to hurt one another and definetely wouldn't cheat. I believe if you have sex with a lot of people you give a little bit of yourself maybe a little bit of your soul to each of those sexual partners without even realising it. Above all I want to stay true to myself and god.

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My desire to wait until marriage isn't based on a desire for "purity" or to elevate the value of my virginity, but because of my strong belief in the natural law and what it mandates concerning the creation of human life. The natural and unimpeded outcome of sex is the creation of human beings. The only way I would choose to create life is within the natural family unit, in a relationship where I know that my partner is in it for the long haul.

 

- Paul, 24

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Maybe it's just me being a hopeless romantic, but the reason is because I'm sure there is someone out there waiting for me too and I'm sure they want to make me feel special one day as much as I want to make them feel special. I also don't want to just give it up like most girls do. So until I feel ready I will keep waiting for you my special someone.

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I woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning three years ago to find myself walking away from the home of the man who was never in my dreams. He had addiction problems. He didn't understand my drive for school. He had no passion. I felt like I had just laid my body down for sacrifice the night before...completely outside of myself and against everything else I worked for in life. I didn't cry out to the Lord at the time because I wasn't yet born-again, but I silently asked God to take away any chance of making another painful choice to be physically intimate until I knew how to love myself first.  And then I realized: Jesus needed to be loved first before I could love me, and then another. It has been three years since my epiphany, and never did I expect the Lord to lead me to such a spiritual moment of freedom. In my waiting, I became free and the wait has been a breeze.

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I saw what those close to me went through when they ventured into sex....pregnancy, STD scares, etc. I decided I didn't want that for myself. Plus, I wanted to do it the way God had ordained it to be....that my husband would be the only one........Wear my white gown with pride...Honoring God. Also, giving my husband the gift of me....just for Him.

--Shell, 43

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I first decided to wait because it was what my parents, the members at my church, and what I believed God wanted me to do.  Since then I have come to a deeper understanding of why it is important to wait.  First of all, it is better for the relationship to wait.   You and the other person must work at the relationship and base it on something more than just physical love.  Waiting also helps to weed out the people who are only interested in sex.  Someone who is willing to wait will be the type of person I would marry, as sex would be specially valued, and he would be less likely to cheat on me once I am married.  There are so many other reasons, too. 

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I think I've finally figured out an answer to this question.

 

I am waiting until marriage for sex because I believe (or perhaps hope, rather) that the following are true for me: 1.) random sex, sex with a friend, memories of sex with an ex-partner, ultimately will not bring fulfillment despite bringing temporary pleasure, and carry a risk of substantial regret or heartache; 2.) by waiting until marriage and being fully committed and in love with my first and only sex partner, I will partake in an unmatched spiritual and emotional bond that goes way beyond just the physical; 3.) I will have amazing sex from or almost from the start, and it will only get better as our connection and knowledge of each other grows; 4.) somewhere there is a girl/woman that believes like I do, who is waiting even though she may not know me, who will love me and appreciate me like no one else would or could.

 

Oops, seven lines. Also, I hope that wasn't a run-on sentence. It's been a while since my last English class. Anyway, all that sounds really idealistic, but I have to be idealistic. If I didn't believe or have hope that each of those points were true, I don't think I could wait. The drive for sex and longing for intimacy is only getting stronger.

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