Mike

Explain why you decided to wait in 5 lines or less [for the book]

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Hi Guys and Gals!

 

Here's the first question I need your help with for the book. Part of the book is divided into sections based on the stages of your life journey as a waiter-till-marriage. One of those sections is "Making the decision to wait." Rather than try to discuss abstractly why people decide to wait (though I'll do that too), I thought it would be best to let us waiters speak for ourselves.

 

So I'm going to have a few pages containing short quotes from people about why they decided to wait.

 

So tell me: Why did you decide to wait? Try to keep it short and sweet, max 5-6 lines of text. If you have to make it longer, post what comes to you and I'll try to help you cut it down.

 

Incomplete sentences are totally cool. Think of it as "I decided to wait until marriage because ____"

 

I'll start...

 

"I looked around at how casually my peers treated sex; I didn't want that. I wanted sex to be meaningful. At first, I decided to wait until I was in love. Then I realized that the word 'love' meant different things to different people, so I decided to wait all the way until marriage. I figured that this would pretty much guarantee the meaning that I wanted, plus waiting seemed like a neat thing to do."

-Mike

 

P.S. - Ok that was way harder than I thought it was going to be.

 

Couple more notes:

  • You'll have a few weeks to edit/delete/add to you answer before it's final, so it doesn't have to be perfect on this first try.
  • Don't be afraid to repeat something somebody else said. We're bound to have lots of overlapping reasons. Discovering those is going to be part of the fun of doing this!
  • Focus on how you felt back then (when you first decided). You'll get the chance to talk about your current, more mature and thought out reasons for waiting later.
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I choose to wait because I wanted to save myself for only one person. I thought it would show that i'm different from most other's. I wanted to present myself being pure when getting married. I felt like I was called to make this decision, and I was all in. I wanted/want to give my husband my everything. I wanted to obey God in his plan for me in this.

Kendra, 19

 

(Might come back and edit, but that's my start and most reason at the time I decided.)

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For me, sex was always something that was incredibly special. The hook-up culture always baffled me and although I didn't understand why, casual sex disgusted me. But it wasn't just casual sex: having sex outside of love, whether you're in a serious relationship or not, always felt wrong to me. I don't know why, because no one ever taught me about waiting until marriage, or even that sex was "special," but the idea that sex was only something to be experienced between two people in love just seemed to naturally be a part of who I was, and who I still am today.

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@Kendra & Sophie - That's perfect! Great job! Gold star to both of you for being first.  :lol:

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@Kendra & Sophie - That's perfect! Great job! Gold star to both of you for being first.  :lol:

Hehe!! ^_^

Glad to help.

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For anything I say, can you please just say Sally? You can say my age too, but that is all I'm okay with.

I was very involved in my church youth group in high school. We talked about abstinence, purity, and waiting until marriage for sex. I never really had guy friends; I mostly hung out with other girls my age, so I didn't have my first date until I was 17. I was very committed to following my morals and values. While I am 22 now and I have changed a lot since i was 17, I still believe in waiting and making that experience happen with only one person.

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I have many reasons for waiting till marriage. I had a religious upbringing and that's one the main reasons why I always knew that waiting was the right choice for me. Other than that though, I really did some soul searching of my own a few years ago. I'm a romantic, so naturally I always believed in love and soul mates. I never wanted to be with someone casually though. I wanted to (still do) find that one special person to share my life with. I would never treat love casually, that's why I chose to wait.

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I decided to wait until marriage because.... life has not always been easy, well i suppose life is not meant to be, lets just say giving all of my self to someone else and trusting them not to hurt me, that's big. i want my husband to be the one who takes what i have to give, and i want him to keep it and keep me for life. someone to depend on, who i can trust with my self. someone safe. sex is special, important, if god wants me to find a husband, he gave me something to keep safe for him, and if not, he gave me something that's mine, just mine and not for anyone else to take. ether which way, waiting till marriage is a big part of who i am...

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I decided to wait until marriage largely because of my religion and because I grew up knowing that sex is something that is incredibly special and should only be shared between two people in marriage. Sex is pretty much the most intimate thing you can do with another person.. After all, sex is what creates human life! Also, I know my mom expects me to wait until marriage and the possible consequences (guilt, shame, embarrassment, disobeying God and parents, worry of getting pregnant) that would result if I don't wait help to reinforce my decision. There are so many more benefits to waiting than there are to having sex. This is not the easy route to take, as I know from my current 4-year relationship, but it definitely worth it!

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I desided to wait becuse even as i child i noticed how many lives and familys where ditsroyed by divorse (including my own) and how many relshansips (all sexulay active) left one or both of the couple broken and in truth grew up thinking aginst marrrage and love becuse i didn't think it would ever work intell a somehow fell into a grupe of married waiters i could see day by day as a chiled and to this day even fome the outside thir familsy were all full of a kind of love and happiness and comentment i could never have imagned could be possbale let alone seen not even just for the waiter couple but alse their children and houshold, and i knew (and sucessful waiter agree)  that that was the kind of difrence that could chage ones life.
 
 
waiting tell marige is fairtail worthy love <3

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I began waiting till marriage due to my Christian faith. I trust God more than I trust myself and I know that if he has ordained sex to be only within marriage that it's for a reason. Since then I have realized there are so many more reasons to wait, specifically on the emotional side. I am now waiting for almost every reason you can think of; my Christian beliefs are still the base, but others include pregnancy, STDs, the emotional aspects and connections, a great future marriage and sex life, and ultimately, I want to give my wife a gift on our wedding night that I've never given anyone else. -Beau, 25

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My reasons to wait are primarily religious. I believe that the Almighty God has decreed that premarital sex is a sin and hence one should wait until one is married for the act to be allowed. Besides that reason, as I've gotten older and learned more about sex and intimacy, I personally want to be intimate with only one person: my wife! I feel it's the greatest gift I can give her and it's something that she's rightfully due! - Mark, 21

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Okay, I've been thinking about this for the past few days so here goes:

 

The foundation of my decision to wait until marriage is my Catholic faith. If I truly believe Jesus died to save me, how can I do anything other than try my utmost to not sin? Looking all the way back, I never felt any tension with what the Church teaches, that sex is God's gift for a wonderful marriage. It was a feeling deep inside me, it just seemed right to me to only be with one man and even seemed gross to just go around and sleep with a bunch of guys. I wondered (and still do) if people even understood the gravity of what they were doing with their precious bodies. So I will wait, no matter how hard it is or gets, for that one special man who earns my love and trust! Kailey-28

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I chose to wait for no religious reasons at all. I chose to wait because I feel that sex is something special I should only ever share with one person, I felt only one person should know that side of me. I also am waiting because I want my first time to be real, not some quickie in the back seat of someone's car. I even made this decision 100 percent on my own with no one else's opinions involved so I'm proud about that :D and when I first decided to wait I was glad to be an individual and now I like my friends reactions when they find out I'm waiting until marriage, they're always shocked and try to talk me out of it but ill never be talked out of it :D -Josh, 16

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The Living God created the very idea of marriage with Adam and Eve, and ever since then it is something to be revered, respected and honoured. Waiting until marriage for a sexual relationship was simply the next step in my relationship with my girl and, more importantly, with my God.

Jesse (22)

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I decided that I would wait till marriage when I was about 15 years old. I hated the idea of having sex with more than one guy in my life, or of giving my virginity to just anyone. Combined with the fact I was Catholic, and therefore I knew it was a sin to have sex outside of marriage anyway, that made my mind up for me, and for a little while, I was almost resigned to the fact that I had to wait. But did some research about why I should wait: facts, figures, the testimonies of those who'd waited, scientific reasons, religious arguments. I prayed to God a lot, asking Him to help me understand what I should do. It's now almost four years later, and I am absolutely 100% convinced that waiting till marriage is the right decision for me.

 

- Julie, 18

 

(How's that?)

 

xxx

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I decided that I would wait till marriage when I was about 15 years old. I hated the idea of having sex with more than one guy in my life, or of giving my virginity to just anyone. Combined with the fact I was Catholic, and therefore I knew it was a sin to have sex outside of marriage anyway, that made my mind up for me, and for a little while, I was almost resigned to the fact that I had to wait. But did some research about why I should wait: facts, figures, the testimonies of those who'd waited, scientific reasons, religious arguments. I prayed to God a lot, asking Him to help me understand what I should do. It's now almost four years later, and I am absolutely 100% convinced that waiting till marriage is the right decision for me.

 

(How's that?)

 

xxx

That's great Jegsy!! :)

Edit: Also Jegsy, Mike will give us a chance to get more in depth with how our decision to WTM has transformed since making it.

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Hello! I'm new, but please hear me out~!

 

I'm waiting purely by personal choice. Sex gives us the ability to create life and connect with someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with in a way no one else ever has. Our soul, mind, and body blend together and we dedicate everything we feel and think to our soulmate. I don't want to give away a piece of myself to someone who will throw it away and use me only for pleasure. Instead, I want to give it to someone who will stand by my side no matter what; that way I'll never truly "lose" my purity- I'll just be putting it into the care of my loved one, as he will hopefully do for me. It reminds me of the yin yang symbol in a way- each side holding a piece of the other inside them to create a beautifully balanced whole.

-Danielle, 19

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At first I was waiting solely for religious reasons and because that was how my parents raised me.  However,  I think I had an epiphany when I was around 20 years old as I began to see the negative consequences that casual sex was having on my friends.  I saw how they lost self esteem, dated guys who were only using them for one thing and who treated them very badly.  It reaffirmed my choice in WTM, or rather, I think that this was the moment where I truly "owned" the decision to WTM and it became more than what I felt was expected of me by family etc.  I realised that I wanted to find a man who respected and cherished me, and WTM was the ultimate means of weeding the men from the boys. I also wanted to show my love and respect for that special man by reserving the most intimate part of me for him on our wedding night. 

-Jane, 24

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I'm not sure what age I decided I was waiting until marriage, but I know it definitely started due to my Catholic beliefs. As I got older, I saw how society treated casual sex like it was normal and that disgusted me. In high school, I was close to too many people who had sex and regretted it. That made me realize it was a sacred part of me that can only be given away once, and the person who deserved that was my future husband. I am now 23 and in a long-term relationship. We know we want to get married eventually, but we stand by our WTM decision. We both feel it is a major part of why our relationship is so strong and we are proud to honor ourselves and God by waiting until our wedding night.

 

-Allison, 23

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@Everybody - If you haven't already provided it, can you edit your post to add a (fake or real) first name and your age? It doesn't have to be your real first name, just a first name you want me to put next your quote. For example, under Sally's quote will be "-Sally, 22."

 

Since this will be in a book and not on a website, it will look odd if I list the source for a quote as "-DodgeDude" (not picking on you, DD haha...I needed an example.)

 

Other than that you're all doing a great job and I'm really enjoying reading all of these!  :D

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I decided to wait until my wedding night for several reasons, some of them religious, but in all honesty, it was the casual way some of my friends treated sex that really hit me hard.  To them, sex was just part of a normal relationship, and if you didn't do it, there was something wrong with you.  I wanted more than physical pleasures from a relationship.  Getting married and having kids is the most important thing to me, and I want a bond with my wife that most guys only dream about.  And I know to have that bond, to have that trust and friendship, our relationship needs to be built on that, and not on sex.  I just hope my future kids want the same thing.  -- Zeke, 21

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I realized WTM was the best way to go when I had my first real relationship at a young age. Thanks to my naive-ness I had to learn what my boundaries by going way beyond them - and we got a little rushed into the physical aspect of the relationship (he was not really into WTM). As hard as it was, I later realized that it was actually ruining our relationship rather than helping it grow. After breaking up, I decided to hold onto WTM for sure, because I want real love, which does not start out physically, and I want my future love who feels the same, to be secure in our love.

 

-Cou, 16 and three quarters

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I believe sex is sacred and I only desire to do that with the person God had created for me.

I believe sex is an energy thing and I don't want tk have so many sexual partners especially ones filled with negative energy because it will be given to me and it will affect my positive nature.

I don't want every man I meet to see that sexual side of me, I don't think every man that I.date casually is worthy of that.

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