Invincible

Would you date a guy who's still living at home?

83 posts in this topic

I wonder when and where this whole idea of living on your own being necessary/part of being a man or growing up, etc. started. Many people in America parrot this mantra like it is some ancient truth passed down since the beginning of time. Yet this was not how things were traditionally. I wonder if marketing companies had some role in changing people's views so that they could sell more things- if you have a whole family under one roof you only need one kitchen table, one washing machine, etc. But, if one of those family members moves out then they have to buy an extra kitchen table, washing machine, etc. Thus the demand for more consumer goods and services has been increased.

 

I think this is similar to how it is expected by most of society (at least in America anyways) that an engagement ring has to be a diamond. This (along with other unnecessary & expensive wedding related costs) is thought to be "traditional". Yet, this was not the case until modern times. It was only in the last century that the diamond business hired marketing agencies to place this idea of diamonds into the media to generate demand for diamonds.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Usually the assumption of staying at home in the US is a bad one! People assume all negatives of staying at home especially for a guy but it would make me a hypocrite since I still live at home too.

 

However, it really depends on the circumstances.  I stay with my parents because it is very expensive to live on my own and realistically it would not make sense due to my student loan debt.  I stayed home to also help out my mother who is disabled and I pay a living expense while staying with my parents.  In other cultures, it is actually okay to stay with your parents until you're married or even when you get married--your parents can live with you.  Most of my friends of different cultures still stay home even though they have decent careers, are in grad school, or have money to move.  So it depends on the situation. 

 

My friend is a music teacher and musician, he lived with his parents up until the day he got married (this past weekend) and he is my age! So I don't really think it matters.  He now has his own condo with his new wife. I don't think its anything wrong with staying with your folks if you are working towards your own plans or saving towards paying off school loans, home ownership/etc.  Getting into the culture of mass consumerism--at this point I'm okay if I don't have a wedding as long as I have a place with my future husband to call home, I'm fine.

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Totally! I still live at home, so I'd be such a hypocrite for holding that against a guy who did the same. Plus, I don't see men living at home as a bad thing. People have their reasons why and I think if someone did have a problem with it, they might want to find out why he is, before passing judgment. There are a lot of sound reasons why a guy would still live at home.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 14/04/2016 at 4:56 AM, Syzygy said:

I wonder when and where this whole idea of living on your own being necessary/part of being a man or growing up, etc. started. Many people in America parrot this mantra like it is some ancient truth passed down since the beginning of time. Yet this was not how things were traditionally. I wonder if marketing companies had some role in changing people's views so that they could sell more things- if you have a whole family under one roof you only need one kitchen table, one washing machine, etc. But, if one of those family members moves out then they have to buy an extra kitchen table, washing machine, etc. Thus the demand for more consumer goods and services has been increased.

I totally agree with that statement above.

I recently had a conversation with a young girl from Morocco. She told me that the mentality regarding relationships with  family are totally different than what we see in Europe. For them, it's perfectly normal to live with parents and siblings at home, even if they have a job already and are able o buy an apartment. They can stay at home as long as they want until the day they marry. And it's not seen as abnormal.

I see nothing wrong with dating someone still living at home. As long as this person is willing to be independent and tries his best to improve every area of his life.

Of course, it's something else if the person is living at home and does nothing to improve himself and better his situation. That's

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wanted to add that I recently came across the short testimony of  Aishwarya Rai , a famous indian actress who got married at 34. She was still living at home.

Whereas she was independent and able to provide for her own life, it wasn't something odd for her.

I'm not sure, but it seems she was also a virgin before getting married to her now husband. Anyway, I think she's beautiful and is talented in acting.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know what to say about this except that it seems that it's a highly culture-specific issue. In my country, living at home just doesn't have the same connotation. In fact, it's very common for people who get married to have one spouse move into the other person and his parents' house. The place I grew up in, almost all houses had at least 3 generations living in them, sometimes 4.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it depends on the situation of the person. Even though I am South Asian, I have not been living with my parents since I was 13 years old because I attended an international boarding school and then moved to the United Sates for college and right now I am living off campus but with girls my age. I have been on my own for quite a while now so living with them would be weird. I would preferably date someone who has their own place.. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now