Invincible

Would you date a guy who's still living at home?

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As long as they were helping out and not just freeloading off of their parents, and they were working a good job, just couldn’t afford living on their own (living alone can get really expensive!), I wouldn’t care. Money isn’t everything. One of my best friends got married this past summer to a guy who hadn’t been able to move out of his parents’ house yet, and then he moved in with her. It worked out fine. 

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I do live with my parents but that's only due to emigrating to USA. I will move soon as I get a nice girl. I will move in straight with her

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I'm 31, and unfortunately, I've made poor career and credit choices that keep me at home, and I'm working my way out of here, love my parents dearly, but I NEED my independence now. 

 

So, no, I don't think I would date a guy who still lives with his parents.

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Is there a certain age limit I mean I'm 19 staying in town planning on going to college neat by next semester. Is that a situation where I should be out on my own with the 200 dollars I make a week?

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Is there a certain age limit I mean I'm 19 staying in town planning on going to college neat by next semester. Is that a situation where I should be out on my own with the 200 dollars I make a week?

 

No, stay at home and save as much money as possible. When you get out of college you want minimal debts, and you want to pay those all off. Once you're stable you should try living on your own, don't go and move out just because. The financial pains are not worth it.

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Absolutely not! What are you kidding me! There's no way in a million years I'd ever date a guy living at home! I'm a guy I'd only date girls for pete's sake! Wait, oh, this is the "ask girls" section.... I guess I'll make my exit, but not before saying that if it was a girl I'd totally date her as long as she's got a valid reason to be living at home.

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I think dating , yes ...besides he is making an effort to be something , not just laying in the basement while his mother brings him food hahahaha

but to take it to more serious levels later on , he should show me he could handle it , not by moving out of his parents house if he can not afford it , I mean to show me he has a plan , & he is fully determined to make it work :) 

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I live with my parents but go to the gym and try to stay in at least as possible. Living with them due to high house prices. Just wondering can I date and marry a nice Catholic or Protestant girl. I'm Hindu but open to marry any reglion

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I only skimmed half the responses. But I would date a guy that lived at home if he had ambition. Times are hard on everyone and if if they don't understand that they can go kick rocks.

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This is an interesting topic.

In a lot of cultures, a guy who is living at home is actually to be socially valued, because sometimes it means that he is taking care of his parents. The newly wedded wife actually comes to live with the husband and his family.

If we are talking about a single man living at home, and if the reason is low economic status, I don't see why not. Except I'd be interested in knowing what he does for his parents, since his parents do a lot for him. Does he help out around the house and help with the groceries? Has he come up with some kind of application plan or temporary measures? These kind of questions would let me know he character of the guy - is he living at home because he is lazy and feels that it is his right to receive assets from his poor parents without working hard?

Or is he working hard, trying to save money, and trying to help out his family at every opportunity? I would base my decision on the character of the guy :)

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I've been on many dating websites in the past and many woman are looking for a totally independant guy. For years it gave me the impression that living at home is a big deal breaker to all woman. I don't quite live with my parents fully. I have my own flat and it is based on their property. I pay rent and help with a lot of things around the house. I felt quite bad because of this cause I was getting the feeling people looked down upon me for still living there. My boss asked me about it several times and encouraged me to buy my own property. Maybe it was "mind reading" cause it is evident from the comments on here that woman don't have a problem with it as long as the guy is not a sponge. I did look into buying my own apartment a while ago and basically the extreme cost of living alone nowadays would take all that I get out. The neighbourhoods around my workplace is very expensive and I am not sure whether buying a flat far from work would be worth the while cause of the heavy traffic. Right now I am saving up to buy my own house and most likely it will happen just before I get married. The more I save up the better I can treat my wife and future kids with an awesome homely place :)

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Nobody wants to date a slouch, and I expect that's what some women especially worry about when they hear that a guy is still living in his parents' home. However, the idea that young people need to be pushed out of the nest as soon as they are 18 or so is just wrong. Everyone who is fortunate enough to have good parents will benefit from continued parenting for years yet.

However, to the guys I would say, beware of complacency. When you live with parents who care and do things to help you, it is easy to fall into a slow, unmotivated lifestyle. And parents may not fully realize that they are fostering this. As a young man, you should remain active, e.g. staying fit, running a business or pursuing a career, always learning and bettering yourself.

This next thing I suggest may be hard, but while you are building your life, turn the tv off. Better yet, don't keep one in your room or living area if possible. Previous generations didn't have tv and they not only survived but prospered. You need to use your free time to learn and develop skills, whether work or general skills or even hobbies. TV will put your brain in neutral, eat up your time day after day and give you nothing of enduring value in return.

No, you don't have to work all the time, but whatever you do for recreation can certainly have more quality to it than TV. Interact with family and friends or find something that you enjoy and work on that, research, take online classes, or watch some of the thousands of free tutorials and DIY videos on the web. Because once you get your brain really working and looking at things from a more active POV, you can figure out and do almost anything.

When you get some vacation time, if you really want to, you can catch up on some TV. And if you have a lot of self control, you could watch from time to time. But the moment you start to plan your day around what time the next episode of a TV show plays... You are no longer in control, the TV is, and that is just really sad.

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Nobody wants to date a slouch, and I expect that's what some women especially worry about when they hear that a guy is still living in his parents' home. However, the idea that young people need to be pushed out of the nest as soon as they are 18 or so is just wrong. Everyone who is fortunate enough to have good parents will benefit from continued parenting for years yet.

However, to the guys I would say, beware of complacency. When you live with parents who care and do things to help you, it is easy to fall into a slow, unmotivated lifestyle. And parents may not fully realize that they are fostering this. As a young man, you should remain active, e.g. staying fit, running a business or pursuing a career, always learning and bettering yourself.

This next thing I suggest may be hard, but while you are building your life, turn the tv off. Better yet, don't keep one in your room or living area if possible. Previous generations didn't have tv and they not only survived but prospered. You need to use your free time to learn and develop skills, whether work or general skills or even hobbies. TV will put your brain in neutral, eat up your time day after day and give you nothing of enduring value in return.

No, you don't have to work all the time, but whatever you do for recreation can certainly have more quality to it than TV. Interact with family and friends or find something that you enjoy and work on that, research, take online classes, or watch some of the thousands of free tutorials and DIY videos on the web. Because once you get your brain really working and looking at things from a more active POV, you can figure out and do almost anything.

When you get some vacation time, if you really want to, you can catch up on some TV. And if you have a lot of self control, you could watch from time to time. But the moment you start to plan your day around what time the next episode of a TV show plays... You are no longer in control, the TV is, and that is just really sad.

 

Does following women on facebook count?

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Touché.

I prefer to think of it as research. Are you suggesting, however, that you have never looked at someone's profile here or on FB and tried to glean a little more about them from it because they said something interesting? Or maybe their picture attracted you?

But, since this concerns you, consider the definition of stalking, it refers to obsessive or constant watching or following. When I look someone up (or try to) on the web or Facebook, it is to find out what defines them, like looking up a word's definition. If I am interested, then I try to make contact, or become a friend or whatever. I don't have librarian syndrome or obsess. Usually, finding someone online and gleaning what you can from their profile once is enough.

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I've often thought about this myself, and I'm pleasantly surprised by most of the responses.  I'm 23, just graduated college last year, working full time, and...you guessed it, living at home.  At first I felt like I had to have all my ducks in a row before I started dating, but once I started getting to know people in this area (metropolitan DC BTW), I learned that pretty much everyone in my age group is living at home.  Honestly, the economy is so bad at this point that we can't afford to move out on our own, and that's before you factor in junk like student debt.  Judging by most of the responses here and other people I've talked to, this generation understands that the old "move out after college/at 18" mantra is dead in the water.  The few people my age who still think that way live in areas where the cost of living is FAR lower and they can actually afford rent.

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Huh? I thought I posted here before. *shrugs*

I do live with my father & stepmother at the moment, but it was originally because it would be cheaper than renting an apartment for me to go to university. I have graduated almost 2 years ago, but the economy is not exactly in the best shape right now. I heard a statistic that 80% of college grads are unemployed. I have a part time job and I'm thankful that I have it, but I wouldn't be able to pay for a place of my own. I've prayed about it and God told me to stay as I am right now. He has me best interest at heart and I'm sure He'll let me know when it is time to move on to bigger and better things.

I'd also like to point out that I do house chores that my parents would not otherwise have the time to do. So I'm making myself useful to some capacity.

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Nothing shameful about it if you are responsible in the way you approach it.  A lot of parents actually like it, from what I've heard.

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Yeah, I would still date a guy who lives at home. The only way it would bother me is if he has no aspirations whatsoever, but people like that are in the minority. I never understood the mentality that parents should throw their kids out of the house once they reach the legal age of adulthood; hardly anyone is fully grown at 18. Thankfully, my parents think the same way I do.

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I OWN my home and still can't get dates. Although I attribute that to being socially inept. :D

That, and I don't date just to be dating.

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In general, no I would not. I'm in my mid-thirties. If I was 22, yeah it's fine....totally a different thing.  In general if someone is living at home by now (well into thirties), it is a result of making very poor choices, getting in debt frivolously, and/or  lacking ambition. That is not someone I want to be in a relationship with, especially a long-term one; I could not trust such a person to pick himself up by his bootstraps in the event that life handed us lemons.

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I still live at home at 31. I graduated college a few years ago (got my design degree after having gotten an accounting degree) so I continued to stay at home to find a job (wow I gotta say that was a trying time for me) and then paid all my debt, and saved up. Living alone is expensive and I refuse to take on a roommate. Either I live alone and I can afford it or I stay at home. Or I get married and support my husband and I. :) I have a job and a decent salary (graphic design job) and contribute financially to my parents for the running of the household. I also continued some of my design education at home and saved up for software and camera equipment (for building my own business) and other medical expenses I needed to take care of. I hope to buy and build my own tiny house someday. This stuff is coming together much slower than I had wanted, but I'm getting there, and if I was living out on my own I would not have accomplished as much.

I see nothing wrong with a guy living at home as long as he does something - to go to school or save up money, or support his parents, or job search when he's in a tough situation (I've been there), or to build up to independence (Im currently there). Definitely not okay if he is unmotivated, lazy, and mooching off his parents. I also understand the struggle of being unemployed and finding the motivation to fight that complacency that comes on. I also as a woman felt that I shouldn't be dating when I'm unemployed. But if the guy is in a similar situation like I am presently (have a job, building toward something like a business and/or independence, helping his parents out, saving up, etc) then that would not hold me back from dating him because it shows that we both could financially support each other should it come to that time we might marry.

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I honestly don't see what the big deal is.  I'm 26 and I still live at home. My siblings all lived at home until they were married. And it's not because I don't have a job or my siblings didn't have jobs.  I guess my family is just old fashioned.  There really isn't anything wrong with staying home until you are married.  I mean I get to save tons of money that I can then use for an apartment/house/wedding, etc, instead of wasting it all now, so it's actually a smart thing to do! I'm close with my family, very family oriented, so I don't mind living with them.  Why would I want to live all alone or with some strange roommates when I can live with my family? A guy that is similar to me in this regard would actually be kind of attractive.  As long as he has a stable job and is mature, I can't complain! Plus I would like that he's old fashioned and close with his family.

 

The only reason I would move out is if I got a job a long distance away (which is not really my preference, but if I HAD to), and also maybe if I was getting older, like close to 30, then maybe I would consider moving out.  But even then, I don't think there is necessarily anything WRONG with still living at home.

 

There are also cultural differences in the the way other parts of the world view this.  In some countries in Europe and Asia it is very common for young adults to live at home with their families until marriage...and even after! Multi-generational homes are common.  Though some do it for financial reasons I think it is a nice thing and not something to be made fun of.

 

Basically, there is nothing wrong with living with your parents as a young adult, just like there is nothing wrong with living on you own. 

 

I would only be turned off by a guy if he had no job, and no ambitions/aspirations to get one in the near future, and was just an immature bum...regardless of whether he lived home or not.

 

* ALSO, just want to add that living at home with the fam...makes waiting till marriage a LOT easier! Hahaha! :D

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Yes sir...Nothing wrong with a man living at home as long as he's not mooching off mom and dad but instead helping take care of things! I'm 20 something and I still live at home so why can't a man. I always had a thing with people that are willing to pay someone to live in their condo or apartment etc. That money could be given to your parents. (Not sure if I answered this)

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Yes I would as long as he is like you mentioned, making something of himself. I'm currently working temporarily so I understand that these days it's hard to get a full time job.

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