Invincible

Would you date a guy who's still living at home?

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I would definitely date a guy like that, because I still live at home myself!  I'm in the same boat.  I'm unemployed and trying to reach some goals, but until I do, my mother insists that I stay with her.  I can't ask or expect something of someone that I haven't done myself.  That's just hypocritical.  

 

Even after I move out, I think I would still understand as long as he is trying to get somewhere in life.

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Well I live at home so I would have no problem with a guy who lives at home.  In fact I think it makes a lot of sense. 

 

1. It takes a lot of pressure off with regard to the whole no sex before marriage thing as we would have nowhere private to go for alone time.

 

2. If we are saving for marriage it is much easier to save when you are living at home.  You would generally have less expenses such as rent/cable/property tax/utilities when you live at home.  Now I'm not saying that you should take your parents for a free ride.  Obviously you should make a financial contribution (if you are in a position to do so) to the running of the household.  But it would still make more financial sense than moving out (unless you're career dictates that you need to leave).

 

3. I love my family and I would take it as a good sign if a man was also close to his family. 

 

Obviously these are general points.  My own bf lives away from home (his folks are from the country and he works in the city) and that doesnt mean that he isn't close to his family or anything.  Nor does it mean that im always over in his house in the city for alone time....I avoid the place like the plague! :)

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Well, if I'm honest with myself, I am partly to blame for my situation. How I got to this point wasn't my fault, but being back home is tough because my parents are enablers of "mooching." They totally spoiled and coddled me growing up and did everything for me. Even now, they insist on cooking my meals and doing my laundry. I think they just love having me around all the time. I DO NOT want to live that kind of life so I've been actively resisting it and doing things on my own. But sometimes, it's hard not to take advantage of the comforts they allow and I'm not always as active in job searching as I should be. That is why I want to get out on my own ASAP so I don't have to be around that influence anymore. But I do want to make something of myself and I do not want to be a loser with no ambitions.

Wow, even I can't handle a .44. lol. Yes having a dog in the house definitely is a good idea :)

 

 

yes i agree vince, im kinda in the same situation with my mom mainly, shes always wanting to do things for me and i keep telling her i can do it myself. its funny though in elementary school my teachers and my tutors always taught me to be independant but its like sometimes my mom wont let me be independant and it can be a little frustrating. i currently live at home with my parents and its nice for the most part but im always thinking ahead ya know ok if i moved out how much money would i have to make to live on then find a job that i enjoy that would meet those financial requirements. also i like what jenny said that even if i find a job that would meet those requirements whats the sense in getting in a big hurry to move out, i mean theres plenty of room in my parents house and we live kinda on the outskirts of town so its not at all crowded. heck its almost like i have an apartment cuz my parents sleep upstairs and i sleep downstairs so its just economical for me to stay around for a while. if nothing else i can just keep saving money so that when i finally decide to move out and get married, ill have a nice safety net build up to fall back on if something doesnt work out quite right.

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I would date a guy who lives at home...  with that said, the guys who I have gotten to know better who were living at home (all in their later 20s) were at home for reasons (whether they recognized that or not).  For example, they weren't ready to be an adult (they had younger siblings and it just felt right for them).  Another guy was going to college some and working some (but he had no real drive to finish strong so he just dawdled along always using a some excuse).  Another guy would rather spend his income on technology (games, food, movies) than to pay rent.  So yes I would date a guy who lives at home, but I have never met a guy who was living at home and 100% ready for a healthy relationship.

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I would date a guy who lives at home... with that said, the guys who I have gotten to know better who were living at home (all in their later 20s) were at home for reasons (whether they recognized that or not). For example, they weren't ready to be an adult (they had younger siblings and it just felt right for them). Another guy was going to college some and working some (but he had no real drive to finish strong so he just dawdled along always using a some excuse). Another guy would rather spend his income on technology (games, food, movies) than to pay rent. So yes I would date a guy who lives at home, but I have never met a guy who was living at home and 100% ready for a healthy relationship.

Guys living at home doesn't mean they're not ready for a relationship, many guys are ready for a relationship or are able to move out decide to still live at home, why go waste money on apartment rent when you can stay at home virtually rent free and save money for your future? I plan on living at home as long as possible to save money.

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I wouldnt have a problem with dating a guy that lives at home the economy is tough right now I myself am searching for a job and Im an under grad with experience  <_< So I would be a hypocrite if I required more out of him, as long as he is doing something with himself like school and knows how to be responsible with bills and such. Not just mooching off mom and dad.

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I live with my brother in a home we bought...so technically, I'm still living at home. :)

 

But yes, I agree with all of you in that I wouldn't mind dating someone who still lived at home. I'm also glad you're all so understanding for those who are still young and have yet to establish themselves within the economy. :)

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I'm 24, work random jobs the temp agency gives me (which ends up working 2-5 days out of the month at min wage), and I live with my mom still. I make next to nothing, enough to keep gas in the car. I usually give my mom 'rent' money even though she doesn't ask for it.

 

Going to community college soon though so thats a plus!

Also might have a steady part-time job as a bartender at the local bowling alley. (this will help kick me out of my comfort zone and really get social, which i need a good social boot up the butt with that)

 

Sadly I have met a few women who lost interest in me once they learned I lived with my mom. Haha i tried to even refer to my mom as 'my roommate'. I think I run into the women who must have had it good at a young age and doesn't realize how hard things are at the moment in this slowly dying town. Oh well, life goes on.

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@ Lomberdia

I am sure everything will work out eventually. I find that people like that, ones who see it as a turn off to living at home have probably never experienced what it feels like to have to rely on someone else. By that I mean not having a solid income or working for oneself. If you don't make enough money to support yourself, you don't live on your own, period.

Oh well, their loss. To the journey LOL

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I would date girl who is living at home, but if I were her I wouldn't date myself if that makes any sense. It's really frustrating at times. I live at home. I'm attending college. A lot of my coworkers who are my peers are in financially better circumstances so I get frustrated at times when they receive their paycheck and I take 50% of mine and pay the bills for my parents and then subsequently take the rest and save it. I live on like $60! I'm not frustrated b/c of paying bills. I just wish I could save more, I'm a saver.

Saving for a car, house, emergencies, but maybe most importantly saving for a ring! I'm nervous, so many good proposal videos online. I just hope she says yes.

I don't feel qualified to be married just yet. Car, House/Apartment, Career, those 3 I feel are essential for marriage to be possible, but that's just my preference.

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This is part of the reason I asked this question. I'm almost 28 and a lot of women my age want to start settling down and start having a family. I feel like at my age, they don't want to be with a guy who still lives at home with no job. So far it's been a struggle finding stable work and I've only been able to get temp jobs. I honestly don't know how long my situation is going to last. I plan to go back to school which would take another few years living at home until at least my early 30's. I'm not saying I won't be with a girl who happens to be willing to put up with me, but I just feel like I shouldn't be actively looking until I'm in a better position.

Yeah, I agree. The idea of moving out and being on your own at a young age is a relatively new cultural norm in America and a few other Western countries. In most parts of the world, even most European countries, it's normal to live at home until you get married. But even so, I feel like our culture puts alot of pressure on guys to "make it" so they can be a provider. I do want to be a provider, don't get me wrong, it's just going to take a while. I'm sure girls feel the pressure too, but I don't think it's nearly as strong as it is for guys. I certainly would not hold it against a girl if she was living at home no matter how old she is, provided she has some sort of life goal whether if it's a career or a stay at home mom.

 

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problem solved :)

This is an interesting perspective of moving out being a new cultural-norm.  I moved out young, but it was because my home environment was not optimal. Moving out and figuring out life on my own seemed the best out of the two choices.  If a person (who had healthy goals) and lived with their parents (and every one was happy), then it would be WISE to live at home allowing one to be more productive in attaining goals (such as college/building career).  Why not?  But I think more people are moving out partly because they finally have the opportunity to.  In our generation, we have been blessed with opportunity.  So one is not better than the other.  To have a family that is supportive of your goals and supportive of you as an individual sounds like a very nice family to have. 

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I honestly thought it was the opposite. I thought people used to move out at a younger age than they do now in the U.S.

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I honestly thought it was the opposite. I thought people used to move out at a younger age than they do now in the U.S.

I do think a generation or two ago this was the case.  And more people now are staying dependents longer because of college opportunities. 

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I still live at home and my last two relationships. both exes lived at home. I think the only deal breaker would be if they didn't have steady income, were not financially responsible, and had not ever worked for at least a year. You can live at home and be a very ambitious person and just because you live on your own does not necessarily mean you are in a better situation financial or have a better grip on life. If you think about it, living at home allows you to save more. There is a difference in living at home to get on your feet for your future and living at home to be a mooch or couch potato with no goals or motivation to work.

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Ill be the negative nancy here.   I would be disinclined to want to date someone who was still living with his parents.  However, depending on the situation and his ambitions I may make an exception.  Its not so much a dealbreaker as a turn off.  It really depends on what he is doing to better himself.  This also has to do with that I am older.  My datting pool is usually in the 30s and by then people usually have some stability unless they have zero ambition.   Most of my peers respond with a strong groan when they find out a potential boyfriend is living with his parents and imediatly loose interest.  Independence is attractive.  Even a good man living at home will have to live with the projected stereotypes unfortunatly.  Such sterotypes include: laziness, lack of work ethic, dependence, being irresponsible, and complacancy.  Some women will give these men the benifit of the doubt and get to know them, others will see him as a possible burden and wont want to even giving him a shot.  

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Like DD said, I started dating him when he was still living at home. I was more comfortable spending the night there earlier than I normally would because it was his parents place and not just his. I didn't see anything wrong with that because he was out of school and working. He was also looking for a good deal on a place and moved in a few months ago :)

Aww Sally you and Dodge Dude look so cute together!!! :D

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It really depends on the reason why they're living at home and their age. People my age (24) usually do still live at home in England, it's normal because house prices/renting is expensive, people can't afford it. Lots of people houseshare but I understand that doesn't appeal to everyone.

 

If they were over the age of 35 and still at home I'd start to wonder. I know lots of people move back home for various reasons so that's why I said it depends. Caring for a parent is alright, something happening meaning he could no longer afford to live elsewhere is alright but reasons that would be off-putting are if he's never tried to move out simply because say his mum does everything for him, he's too lazy to move etc. Those are probably the only two off-putting reasons actually.

 

I can think of reasons why someone would not want to date someone who still lived at home but they don't apply to me. E.g. wanting to stay over and feeling like you couldn't really get intimate with that person under their parents' roof. That doesn't apply to me because I wouldn't be staying over someone's house if I were dating because it leads to too much temptation.

 

So yeah I would definitely consider dating someone who's still living at home but it also depends on their own personal situation, not just that they're still living at home.

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I would and in fact have. Not a big deal, especially in this economy. It also shows that they have a close relationship with their family which is great!

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The way I see it there are two kinds of independent: The “Smart†kind and the “reckless†kind.

I would much prefer (as well as his family I think) that he diligently works and plans his future at home than to him up and striking out on his own, just to prove he’s “independentâ€

That would be the reckless kind, which is the kind I don’t want. ( ^∇^)

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I wouldn't mind I think most people fall once before knowing what it takes and being able to stand firm. So as long as it's not habitual and he is working towards moving forward I don't mind it. 

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I hope women like this exist since I'm afraid I could be living at home for quite a while. It's better than the alternative of loads of debt, though.

Definitely! I would think twice before getting married to a guy with loads of debt if he had the possibility of living with his parents to ease that debt.

 

I'm not saying I won't date some guy who had debt but if he can't handle himself financially he isn't going to be able to handle taking care of US

 

I'm also not saying that money is a necessity, though it is! but he has to know how to handle financial issues. (I know the importance money is since it has been the reason why some people I know have divorced or broken up)

 

SO to answer the question (hahaha I almost forgot to answer it). Heck no, I live with my parents. It saves TONS of money! Less burden and more happy times and it promotes saving in case a storm comes!

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