wny

Is Church a Place to Meet Virgins?

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I was wondering if anyone has had any experiene meeting fellow virgins at church or other religious institutions. The church I'm most familiar with does not at all seem like a place where you would go to meet someone to date, but I've wondered if bigger churches are places where someone is likely to meet someone to date. I'm not talking about meeting someone during a service, but meeting them at an event or something associated with the church. Even though it seems like it would be a place where one is more likely to meet a virgin, I'm not all that sure about that. I feel like waiting until marriage is something that even churchgoers aren't too big on anymore. Furthermore, I worry that the ones who are big on it are people that have already had sex and then decided not to anymore.

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Yes and no I mean church has all different backgrounds I mean some are some aren' I personally don't care as long as she is right with god now and trying to better her self. But you also shouldn't just go to church to meet people then what's the point? Like i said no two people are the same.

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Yes and no I mean church has all different backgrounds I mean some are some aren' I personally don't care as long as she is right with god now and trying to better her self. But you also shouldn't just go to church to meet people then what's the point? Like i said no two people are the same.

I know some are and some aren't, but would you say you've generally had the experience of meeting many virgins? More than, say, you would meet in your every-day life? I understand that this is not something that is important to you, but it is important to me and that is why I'm wondering.

As to not going to church just to meet a virgin to date, I see what you're saying. But, keep in mind that I'm not saying to go to a church SERVICE to meet someone to date. I'm talking about other activities affiliated with a church (volunteering, social gatherings, ect...). I don't think it's a bad idea to go somewhere where you feel like you're more likely to meet someone with similar values as your own.

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I would say the chances are higher than the average place, but nothing is ever definite. You might try checking the websites of nearby churches for singles nights/young adult socials.

I haven't ever asked someone I met at church if they were a virgin, but I always assumed there was a high probability they were.

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I would say the chances are higher than the average place, but nothing is ever definite. You might try checking the websites of nearby churches for singles nights/young adult socials.

I haven't ever asked someone I met at church if they were a virgin, but I always assumed there was a high probability they were.

I've always assumed the chances were higher, but that does not necessarily mean they are high. It seems like most most members of mainline Protestant denominations and most Roman Catholics don't put a high value on it. It is still part of the teaching and the pastors and priests say to do it, but it just seems like something people are comfortable ignoring. I always assumed members of non-mainline Protestant denominations were more dedicated to waiting until marriage, but I could be wrong about that.

It's funny that I'm worrying about this now since I have no plans of dating any time even remotely soon, but I plan things way in advance and have always wondered what I can possibly do to better my chances of finding a virgin.

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@Kailey-I too think it's always good to have a plan. The risk involved is in forgetting to live in the present, though. I do largely view my life right now as the waiting period before my real life can start. I may miss out on things like dating, marrying, being more independent, having discretionary income, ect.....right now but I honestly believe it will ultimately be better for me in the long run. My only concern about waiting to date is that it's so hard to find a virgin that I should start looking right away, but I guess that is a gamble I'm willing to take.

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Yeah at the same time there is one girl I know for a fact who had oral, but I know most are but i don't go around asking hey you ever had sex so, you never know till you're on a personal level but chances are higher.

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I know some are and some aren't, but would you say you've generally had the experience of meeting many virgins? More than, say, you would meet in your every-day life?

No, I have not met many people who are virgins at church. I would say that those who are still virgins are all under the age of 20. Only very few who are 20+ are virgins. I agree with what you said that it is not common in church anymore.

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Part of the reason I started to distance myself from the church groups I belonged to in high school (I'm Catholic), was because they didn't share most of my values. Very few were waiting until marriage. Most had already dived in to the "Everything But" category in high school with no qualms whatsoever. And many of my religious classmates were actually having intercourse by the time they got to college. So definitely no.

I'm sure there will be some virgins at a church, but not in the high percentages over other places.

Are there any religions that the majority of their followers are virgins and/or waiters? Or have all the major religions turned secular in this respect?

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Are there any religions that the majority of their followers are virgins and/or waiters? Or have all the major religions turned secular in this respect?

I know that many southern baptist/baptist churches really advocate waiting till marriage and I know at my church there are a few and it is a southern baptist. I don't know how "religious" were talking about here but the bible belt areas and other places where bible literate (like fundamentalist...no not westboro the other 99% of safe fundamentalist) live would be a good start. I'm not saying that all will be perfect but the "bible belt" areas and mostly southern (mostly baptist) seems to have a good waiting till marriage theme going IMHO.

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Part of the reason I started to distance myself from the church groups I belonged to in high school (I'm Catholic), was because they didn't share most of my values. Very few were waiting until marriage. Most had already dived in to the "Everything But" category in high school with no qualms whatsoever. And many of my religious classmates were actually having intercourse by the time they got to college. So definitely no.

I can't say I'm shocked by this. Like I said earlier, I feel like most Roman Catholics and most members of mainline Protestant denominations are comfortable ignoring this rule.

I know that many southern baptist/baptist churches really advocate waiting till marriage and I know at my church there are a few and it is a southern baptist. I don't know how "religious" were talking about here but the bible belt areas and other places where bible literate (like fundamentalist...no not westboro the other 99% of safe fundamentalist) live would be a good start. I'm not saying that all will be perfect but the "bible belt" areas and mostly southern (mostly baptist) seems to have a good waiting till marriage theme going IMHO.

I appreciate your input, but unfortunately it may be of little help to me. For one, I don't live in the south and do not plan on ever moving to the south. Secondly, I would worry that I would not be compatible with a "Bible Belt" style Christian. Maybe it's not fair for me to generalize them based on only the people I have personally met, but their style of Christianity does not seem like it would mesh all that well with mine. I would imagine I'm fine with many of their beliefs, but their style isn't my style. Then again, I would be happy with a woman who may attend a church with that style so long as she herself does not act in such a style. There is another issue I have with some of them other than style as well, but I don't want to make it public as it may come off as too controversial and/or insulting. This issue would not pertain to the woman I would marry, I would think.

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I can't say I'm shocked by this. Like I said earlier, I feel like most Roman Catholics and most members of mainline Protestant denominations are comfortable ignoring this rule.

Yes, it makes me very sad, because deep down I think I actually love being a Roman Catholic, not because I believe every detail of the doctrine, or believe every teaching/interpretation they have to be correct. But because it is how I grew up and the core beliefs I do still believe. And going to church makes me feel so much better. Maybe it's just being in the church itself, I don't know. Also the fact that my ancestry is entrenched in European and Church history would make leaving it feel like not only was I abandoning my faith but hundreds of years of family history. I guess that's what happens when culture, history, and religion are so intertwined in someone's mind.

One of the things I've had to overcome is that people's choices who are members of the religion, shouldn't sour my relationship with the religion itself.

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It depends on the people at the church. You would naturally think that a lot of young people going to church are there because they want a relationship with God. This is not always the case. I would say that going to church does not mean that there is a huge group of virgins.

As LK pointed out, it's not the case any more. Most people go to church/ have a relationship with God for three (3) reasons:

  1. They genuinely desire to have a relationship with God.
  2. Their parents are making them
  3. They fear the awesome power of God and Hell.

Another unfortunate which is similar to this trend of "being a Christian, and doing everything but" is Marriage in Western Culture today. Marriage doesn't even mean married any more. The divorce rate is something like 55%. People have lost the ability to deal with the hard realities of life.

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Sadly, being in church isn't much of a guarantee of anything anymore:

http://www.worldmag....vangelical_teen

But I'd say your odds are still better than the average bar.

AMEN!

wny, I have the same worries that you do--and it's true that many churchgoers don't wait until marriage. (And finding out that they're waiting but not virgins is a bummer, I agree.)

I've talked about this before--churchgoers may (depending on the church) be more continent than non-churchgoers, but it's no silver bullet. The answer to your question, then, is "yes and no."

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I figure church will be the best shot to find a virgin even though it may not be a "good" place. No other place is probably any better. I am definitely worried, though, as I will only marry a virgin.

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I would say use church for god first not girls, but may I ask why are you so driven on only marrying a virgin?

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@Dasboy1-Once again I want to make it clear I'm talking about activities associated with a church, not a church service. As to why I want to marry only a virgin, it has to do with my beliefs about sex. I've explained my reasoning before, but I don't mind stating it again. I believe sex is most special between two virgins and that once you have it with more than one person there is no way it can be as special. Sex between two virgins creates, I guess I would call it, a special connection between them. I want my wife and I to have that special connection. I don't think this connection is necessary for a happy, successful marriage, but I very strongly desire it in mine. You can disagree with me if you like, but I can't be convinced otherwise.

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No I understand I was just wondering I agree it is most special between two virgins I just asked cause I keep seeing you say stuff about it but never seen why. I don't know I know it's more special between two virgins I just wouldn't wanna miss out on something fantastic cause she screwed up before, but as long as you're not judging, no biggie.

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...Marriage doesn't even mean married any more. The divorce rate is something like 55%. People have lost the ability to deal with the hard realities of life.

Do you think this has something to do with how much of a throw away society we have become? Little things like paper plates, getting the newest technology, not mending socks anymore. Keeping in touch with friends even. All the little things that add up in people's lives.

I am very much a saver. Almost too much so because I tend to have trouble with collecting things and getting attached to items. I always try and repair something if at all possible. And I don't believe in jumping ship just because things get tough. I feel like so many young people I meet want, and expect, their lives to be perfect. They don't ever want to compromise. If they get married and all of a sudden their spouse changes, or they notice some habit they didn't realize she had, that's not acceptable.

Of course there are exceptions, like abuse, where divorce or at least separation is wise, to avoid a dangerous situation. But that's another topic entirely.

Sorry if this derailed the thread a bit. I just get very frustrated when I think about how selfish people are. It seems like people don't love their spouse/partner more than themselves anymore. Is it because most of the people who get married don't actually love each other... because maybe they don't know how to love or even what love is?

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Jenny I agree with you 100%. That's just the way society is now a days. Everyone wants the get rich quick schemes. ''Have your food ready in seconds'' ''Get ripped in 90 days using the ab-blaster'' ''get a degree in only a couple of months''. Everyone can't accept the fact that things take TIME! And that many things take a whole lot of effort, trial & error, etc. When it comes to relationships, people only look to what the other person has to do for them and possibly do not even think what they can bring for the other person. I would say most relationships fail because of this reason: people expect too much from others!

The media has installed an ''all about me'' way of thinking to our people. The problem is the world makes big and exaggerated promises that definitley cannot be kept. Thus, giving people an unrealistic expectation. Sad thing is people accept this expectation and will not settle for less. I also believe that people are not content with what they have. They may say ''oh my relationship is not like so-and-so'', and then destroy what they have for coveting over what someone else has.

Point here is we have to learn to prepare for the worst. When it comes to us ''waiters'', we have to consider this too. Yes it will be nice to meet someone else who is a virgin too, but you also have to be realistic. We are outnumbered big time! Not saying you have to settle for a virgin and nothing else, but that you also have to be prepared to never run into this virgin spouse. It's important to always leave room for other possiblities. Life doesn't always turn out the way you think it will, but guess what, maybe the way it will turn out is better than what you can ever think of (or worse, lets be honest).

It's all about how YOU react to your circumstances. When things get hard, push through! It is good for developing tough skin. As far as you running into a virgin at church. I would say the possiblities are higher. But I hear stories from girls who go to church, and man is it crazy. I have also heard of people having sex IN church. Crazy isn't it?

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@Dasboy1-I realize some people wouldn't want to miss out on something fantastic just because the guy/girl is not a virgin, but for me it would not be fantastic if she was not a virgin. So, that sentiment does not apply to me. I simply would not be happy about the relationship.

@Alex992-People have different thoughts about what is unrealistic and what is realistic. I don't think it's unrealistic to get a virgin wife. Hard? Yes. But, no, not unrealistic. I won't settle for less. If she never comes along then I will just be single. Maybe, and I stress maybe, if I'm 40 and still unmarried I will compromise on this, but I'll just have to wait and see.

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To each his own I guess. My point was not that its unrealistic, but to be prepared if things turn out otherwise. I also hope to find a wife who is a virgin as well, but on the other hand, I wont let that ruin the chances of me being with a wonderful person who in the end will make me happy. Then again I stress a girl's relationship to God more than any other factor. So virginty is not as high on that requirement list for me as it is to you.

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@Alex992-That's perfectly fine that virginity is not as important to you as it is to me. A woman not being a virgin is not something that I would consider "getting in the way of" my not being happy with her. I simply just would not be happy with a non-virgin. It's not like it would be a situation where I'm happy with her and break up with her because she's not a virgin. I just plain would not he happy with her.

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