Sunny

How persistent are you? (UPDATE)

61 posts in this topic

Gil and wny have some great advice Sweety!! I agree with what they've said. Maybe if you're scared of calling, try texting him more. But, you're gonna have to talk in person....I understand how the phone can be kinda awkward though. I like in person better because you can read body language and everything is more natural.

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So...I have given up guys. I don't think its meant to be. He probably doesn't even like me the way I like him anyway.

Today after my class I saw him talking to a cute blonde girl. (I don't stand a chance against some bubbly and petite blonde girl). He looked at me but he didn't say hey he didn't wave or anything. I mean I wouldn't feel so hurt if he at least acknowledged me.

I get the hint...I don't need to it be spelled out for me.

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If you want to go out with him just ask him, what's the worst that can happen? If he says no its his loss you'll just find someone even better.

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Sweety, unless he's unlike any guy I've ever met before....he is NOT going to ask you out again. I can't believe he did as many times as he did to begin with. You either have to make a move (be it a text, call, in person chat, whatev) or live with never knowing. At this point I'd be fairly direct. Simple as that. My $.02

And p.s. give yourself some credit!! Don't say you don't stand a chance! He asked YOU out three times for goodness sake!!

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He asked YOU out three times for goodness sake!!

Truth. Remember, even though you say you don't stand a chance against her, he approached you well before he approached her.

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Something else I thought of...you say he didn't acknowledge you today...well you have to understand that part of him is probably a little hurt himself that you rejected him all those times. And it's only human nature for him to kind of "want" you to happen upon him talking to another girl and for him to kinda blow you off, etc. Is it rude? Yes. Is it immature? Possibly. Does it mean he's no longer interested? Not necessarily.

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Okay petite blonde girls are not all they're cracked up to be trust me I know a few...., but like everyone else says make a move I know when I had a crush then gave up even though it was months later and I found out she liked me I still had thoughts about going for it. If you asked him I'm sure it would at least make him feel similar.

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If you want to go out with him just ask him, what's the worst that can happen? If he says no its his loss you'll just find someone even better.

I wish it were that easy. I wish I could say I will find someone better. I wish I could say I could find someone in general, but I'm not the kind of girl that always have a lot of guys pursuing her. I know its hard for you guys to believe any girl has that problem.

Sweety, unless he's unlike any guy I've ever met before....he is NOT going to ask you out again. I can't believe he did as many times as he did to begin with. You either have to make a move (be it a text, call, in person chat, whatev) or live with never knowing. At this point I'd be fairly direct. Simple as that. My $.02

And p.s. give yourself some credit!! Don't say you don't stand a chance! He asked YOU out three times for goodness sake!!

You're right, he isn't going to ask me again.

I don't know what you guys mean by making a move? What does that entail? Maybe it is a stupid question but remember I'm very inexperienced when it comes to things like this. He is the first and only guy to ever ask me on a date. He is the first guy to ever give me compliments on my appearance. He is the first guy to ever ask me for a hug.

You did stand a chance but you just didn't take it when the opportunity was there. I have been in your shoes before and I know how painful it can be to lose a chance you once had. Just take this as a lesson to be learned and move along. =)

I wish I could move on. I'll take it as a lesson alright. I really felt that this guy understood me, even better than my own family. He's the first guy to ever ask me out on a date, not to mention I'm extremely attracted to him. I can feel when he is in the room even before I see him, and he knows what I'm thinking without me having to say anything.

Okay petite blonde girls are not all they're cracked up to be trust me I know a few...., but like everyone else says make a move I know when I had a crush then gave up even though it was months later and I found out she liked me I still had thoughts about going for it. If you asked him I'm sure it would at least make him feel similar.

Asked him what? Ask him if he likes me?

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Truth. Remember, even though you say you don't stand a chance against her, he approached you well before he approached her.

That doesn't mean much to me if she is the target of his affections. He is a sociology major so I'm probably some weird social experiment, especially since I'm drastically different than most college girls.

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Sweety, you'll regret it for a long time to come if you don't muster some courage and take the chance. He was only talking to the girl, and even if it was for interest beyond friendship, it's only because he took you at your word...as you'd expect a gentleman to do. You're not being fair to him if he secretly hopes someday you'll actually take a liking to him.

We all believe in you. Take a chance.

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I think the only reason he is focusing on another girl (if that's even what he is doing) is because you've turned him down. He wasn't going to pine over you forever. If you tell him you're interested in him you might find out he still would like to go out with you.

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I'm just really ashamed of myself guys. Looking back on yesterday, I really handled the situation all wrong. I definitely wasn't going to join them and be third wheeled, but maybe if I had said hi or waved at him he would have returned it. Instead I just scurried away after making eye contact with him, and pushed the door a little harder than usual.Usually I'm pretty calm but I'm pretty embarrassed with myself.

That girl was pretty cute though. What guy would choose me over a girl like her?

Sweety, you'll regret it for a long time to come if you don't muster some courage and take the chance. He was only talking to the girl, and even if it was for interest beyond friendship, it's only because he took you at your word...as you'd expect a gentleman to do. You're not being fair to him if he secretly hopes someday you'll actually take a liking to him.

We all believe in you. Take a chance.

Would a true gentleman not acknowledged my presence?

I hope he hopes I secretly like like him, and I hope he secretly likes me. I do want to tell him I like him, but I don't know how. I have never done this before.

Tell him you like him.

Just text him saying "I like you"? I'm not exactly a social butterfly. I don't want to come across as creepy. As a guy, how would you prefer a girl to make a confession like that?

I think the only reason he is focusing on another girl (if that's even what he is doing) is because you've turned him down. He wasn't going to pine over you forever. If you tell him you're interested in him you might find out he still would like to go out with you.

I can't imagine it being anything else. Every day since we first met he has said hello to me, yet he couldn't seem to say it when he was with this girl. He knows the reason why I had to turn him down, because I told him exactly.

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Sweety, dear sweety, lovely sweety, you're thinking too hard on this. I feel like most of my comments have been too pushy and insistent, but only because as I said I've been in a similar situation and would have appreciated a firm loving push, or even an affectionate kick in the pants.

If this guy liked you as madly as you say, then trust me, those embers haven't died. He may have starved them out of necessity by locking them away in a room. Odds are all you do is open the door and it'll flame back up. But time is not on your side.

If you have his number, I would text him and say "I've been thinking." Presumably he'll write back something like "about what?" and you can say "Remember all those times you asked me out and I said no?" He'll probably say "yeah?" and you can say something like "would you ask me one more time?"

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So...I have given up guys. I don't think its meant to be. He probably doesn't even like me the way I like him anyway.

Today after my class I saw him talking to a cute blonde girl. (I don't stand a chance against some bubbly and petite blonde girl). He looked at me but he didn't say hey he didn't wave or anything. I mean I wouldn't feel so hurt if he at least acknowledged me.

I get the hint...I don't need to it be spelled out for me.

He's probably trying (unsuccessfully) to get over his feelings for you, because he thinks you don't like him.

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Okay so my interest in him has been restored. Last night he texted me (he always replies to my texts within 1 minute but he actually texted me first). According to him, he didn't see me. He looked directly at me so I don't know how he didn't see me. I have a very distinct appearance. I don't think there's anyone on campus that looks similar to me.

I'm surprised at how quickly and easily I brushed it off. Usually when I am offended to to tears it takes me a while to get over it and my feelings for the person who offended me is never the same. In this case its as if it didn't even happen. It is very strange and I don't understand it.

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Did you not tell him how you feel yet? :(

He sounds like he has been trying so hard, even now after you refused him he still wants to contact you? I would highly recommend telling him quickly. He is probably still suffering over this, and since you do like him, you could alleviate that and make yourself happy at the same time. Opportunities like this don't happen that often, don't let it slip away.

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Did you not tell him how you feel yet? :(

He sounds like he has been trying so hard, even now after you refused him he still wants to contact you? I would highly recommend telling him quickly. He is probably still suffering over this, and since you do like him, you could alleviate that and make yourself happy at the same time. Opportunities like this don't happen that often, don't let it slip away.

That's all I needed to push me over the edge. I'm telling him tonight.

I don't need anyone suffering because of me, even if he isn't, the chance that he may be bothers me.

Great, now I'm going to be nervous all day. What should I say? How should I bring it up?

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I think what LonelyKnight suggested on the last page is what you should say.

I would text him and say "I've been thinking." Presumably he'll write back something like "about what?" and you can say "Remember all those times you asked me out and I said no?" He'll probably say "yeah?" and you can say something like "would you ask me one more time?"

Just follow this texting dialogue. And even if you will see him in person later today, text him this now anyway. If you get scared just type out the text into your phone, close your eyes and press Send. :)

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If you have his number, I would text him and say "I've been thinking." Presumably he'll write back something like "about what?" and you can say "Remember all those times you asked me out and I said no?" He'll probably say "yeah?" and you can say something like "would you ask me one more time?"

No! Please do not do this. Don't start games, it's only going to look like you're stringing this guy along.

I think what LonelyKnight suggested on the last page is what you should say.

No!

Please don't play the "game".

Just talk to him.

"Presumably" and "Probably" don't work in the dating world. There are no predetermined outcomes by playing games.

Just be direct.

Meet up for coffee, dinner, a drink, a stroll, I don't know. Tell him you're nervous. He'll help you feel calm.

Just hang out and see what happens.

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I'm not going to argue over what she should or shouldn't say, and I really don't think Sweety needs dueling voices over what should or shouldn't be done. I'm a guy, and I came from the approach of what I would like to hear from the people who I was attracted to but who didn't want anything to do with me. The rest is up to her.

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I ended up going with what Gil said but because being straightforward comes more easily to me I am INTJ after all, but LonelyKnight's suggestion was really cute and I think I would have gotten the same results.

I texted him and said we should hang out sometime, which he agreed. The only thing is he won't give me a day or time. I tried to force him into a day but he wants it to be relatively spur of the moment, or according to him "Gotta go with the wind!!". He doesn't want to follow a schedule while he is on break. I guess we are playing the game.

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Well at least you made a move good job, I hope things go well don't be afraid to ask him when he want's to hang out in a day or so I'd say.

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