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"No guy is ever going to want you if...

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You're a virgin." "Guys want experience, not grown women who are still like children."

Excuse me? Real comments that have been made in discussions about sexual/lack of sexual experience. It was a mixed crowd, both male and female, but none of the guys said anything. Y'all care to elaborate on what you think about this? Haha it still won't change the fact that I will stay a virgin until I'm married, but I do want to know what other guys think. I am sure y'all probably don't mind voicing your opinions. Thanks! :)

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Gosh, I am so sick of hearing that crap! Clearly if any guy says this, they don't care about the girl. They just care about sex. I remember in a previous thread, OneLovelyBroad was saying how a bunch of her friends' boyfriends told her that no guy would ever WTM and that she was just living in a fantasy world. I thought to myself, "What an asshole thing to say to a girl! Do you even listen to yourself?" You're basically admitting that the sex you have with your girlfriend is more important that her as a person. It just boggles my mind that girls just accept the lie that they have to put out in order for a guy to love you. That's BS!!! What reason would he have to put in the work in a relationship if you're giving up the goods so easily? Once he gets what he wants, he can leave you high and dry if he wanted, making you feel worthless and empty. DO NOT FALL FOR THAT CRAP!!! Seriously, why would any girl want a guy who treats her like that? I just want to pimp slap all the guys who have this mentality back to the landfill where they belong!

Sorry if I'm getting so worked up about this, but I hear this garbage all the time. I just want to say to all these girls, "Have some freakin' standards!!!" You might as well be single your whole life. It's sure better than to be prematurely get pregnant by some idiotic baby daddy who ran away leaving you alone in your despair.

Man, I tell ya. These primitive douchebags....Someone must have really diluted the gene pool at some point in history....

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The fact is, the overwhelming majority of men would probably prefer a virginal wife. It is, on its face, a silly assertion, probably invented by someone with a guilty conscience.

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first time i heard that! thats different than the double standard, that men should have all the sex and women shouldnt.

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first time i heard that! thats different than the double standard, that men should have all the sex and women shouldnt.

Which is self-contradictory because in order for a man to have sex, a woman must be available to have sex. So how can they say women shouldn't have sex?

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My thought about the topic is that it implies sex=womanhood. The problem is what do they say about the 13 year old who has more sex than a married woman. By sexual definition she is experienced but that says nothing about her being a woman or being mature. Even a grown woman who is experienced could be the most shallow, disrespectful immature woman on the whole block. I despise that comment because it implies that every female who has had sex is suddenly this mature individual. I have actually had female friends say that they are more mature than me because they have had sex and I'm just like WTF!!!! All of their decisions show childishness, immaturity and literally stupidity....I just will never understand. I will NEVER understand how anyone can justify how sex equals some type of maturity and that is exactly what that comment is suggesting to me.

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Well, I just did a quick search and found this:

"I decided to conduct one of my own surveys amid 25 men, in which I asked them to state their preference between virgins and non-virgins, with regards to long-term relationships. Results concluded that 14 men, if given a choice, would prefer virgins, while the remaining 11 preferred either non-virgins or were indifferent altogether. Incidentally, all the men who participated are single and have had sex with at least two different women.

While my findings are far from scientific and may not necessarily convey the sentiments of the general male population, there's a real irony here considering that all the men surveyed want the purest of the pure for marriage, yet they themselves have already experienced the pleasures of the female flesh." http://www.askmen.co...6.php?ID=909415

Just something to counter what you were told ;)!

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Oh my GOSH, i totally have to add on to the first comment made by envincebal. I am SICK and SICK and just 'fing SICK of hearing that kind of crap as a girl. Not having sex does NOT make you a child - it actually just makes you more mature, since you understand the values that you carry around in you.

I can just use a quote that my boyfriend made to me (and still repeats it almost every day):

"I would rather live in a world without sex, than a world without you."

THIS is what true love is! Not some other bullpoopie, that some guy makes up just to make his self-esteem go up!

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Wow. Thank y'all so much! I appreciate your input, especially the guys who have responded. You know, I have my own thoughts on the matter, but I wanted to hear what others think. I'm also glad to know I'm not the only one who gets fired up about this. Sex does NOT equal maturity. In fact, premature sex and sexual relations will bring out the most childish, immature, manipulative mind games possible. I would know, because I've watched it happen SO many times. Then people wonder how I'm not so jaded and not one of those girls who thinks all guys are just jerks looking for sex. Because that isn't true, and if people would just hold out on sex then they'd find true, lasting compatibility. I have no doubts that if everything is compatible outside of the bedroom, it'd only follow suit inside the bedroom. But no... Apparently we are childish or unrealistic for thinking and living this way. Oh well, label me as you wish... I'm not compromising or feeling bad about doing things the right way.

Thanks again, y'all!

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You're a virgin." "Guys want experience, not grown women who are still like children."

That's a lie!

Well, I suppose the validity of this statement depends on what the guys are looking for. If they're just looking for sex, then perhaps they won't be looking for a virgin. But if they're seeking a bride, a woman to marry, they will certainly prefer a virgin--even if they had sex themselves in the past. There's no such thing as a man who prefers that his wife not be a virgin.

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There's no such thing as a man who prefers that his wife not be a virgin.

Definitely not true. I did a lot of research on this when I was younger and learning about the whole adult life and while it is apparent that over 50% of guys prefer virgins, a lot do prefer non-virgins because they want a sexually experienced girlfriend and/or wife. They are worried that a virgin partner will be shy in bed, or never be good at it, or they won't be willing to experiment (they assume an older virgin is a complete prude.) Plus loads of guys are not willing to wait until marriage so they won't date waiters. I don't think any guy prefers that his wife has a promiscuous past (who would ever want that for their partner?) but there are definitely guys who stay away from virgins. Just like there are definitely girls who stay away from virgin men because they think it's weird.

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You're a virgin." "Guys want experience, not grown women who are still like children."

Huh :o I'm with Neen. It's really the first time I've heard that.. but its really sick thoughts. You can see whats in his thoughts and how he thinks. Sometimes I wish I can grab such idiots by the collar and put some sense in his brain. Uggh.. utterly repulsive idiots they are.

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I've typically dealt with the opposite from girls (i.e. they want an experienced guy). And by 'want' in the title of the thread, I assume you mean sexually desire. In that case, yeah, your typical run-of-the-mill douchebag will want an 'experienced' girl for some 'fun', so to speak. It does tick me off whenever I hear this kind of talk, though. The whole 'have your cake and eat it too' sentiment, I mean. I'm with Eugene on how disgusting this is. And yeah, I'm definitely (along with the guys on this site) NOT in that crowd...far from it in fact...

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I don't recall ever talking to my friends about this, so I can only speculate. I don't think the typical man (one who is not wating until marriage, and does not place the same emphasis on virginity as those who are wating until marriage do) who is looking for a serious relationship would mind too much one way or the other. The bigger concern would be whether he would be okay with waiting until marriage to have sex with the woman rather than if the woman is already sexually experienced.

The notion of men preferring a virgin wife despite not being virgins came up, so I'll chime in on that. I don't think it is necessarily wrong for a non-virgin to want a virgin spouse, but it would be really wrong and hypocritical if they thought that other non-virgins were bad while they are just fine for not being a virign. Two not necessarily bad reasons for wanting a virgin while not being one could be: 1.) They can't stand the thought of possibly being compared to someone else or 2.) They just like the feeling of being someone's first, even though they can't create the bond of them also being their first. It's not necesarrily wrong to want that, but they better hope to find a spouse who is fine with them feeling that way while they, themselves, miss out on exactly those things.

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There is a saying I have heard: "A man wants to be a woman's first. A woman wants to be a man's last."

Don't ask me if it's true, but they wouldn't put it on the internet if it wasn't.

The frank truth is that men are easier to set off than women, and many women are disappointed and unfulfilled if they are "experienced" and their partner of the moment is not. Therefore, women who are experienced want a man who is experienced to avoid that unfulfillment. (However, some have told me it's neat or cool or precious to be given a man's first time. One or two friends have told me there are rich cougars out there who would make me a millionaire for the privilege. Yeah. I know. SMH)

For women, this is a selfish perspective, prioritizing their own feelings. (Ignoring the ethics of the thing.)

Many of the contemporary jerks out there feel special if they are given a woman's v-card. It makes them feel experienced, trusted, and a very distorted view of leadership and manhood. There are physical advantages such as having few expectations, and other reasons best confined to Discretion Advised which also mean a man is being selfish and prioritizing only his own feelings to want someone inexperienced.

Seems like those of us here aren't prioritizing ourselves so much, or that first time, but the moral benefits of waiting, as well as the emotional purity of exchanging that gift, taking those first steps down the path together.

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Heard it and can understand the reasoning behind it, but this is typically coming from your players who don't want anything lasting, just a fling of some sort (whether they know it or not!). I have always had the mindset that any woman I fall in love with, I want to be the last... alas, each one seems to fall to the wayside. On the other hand, each seems better than the last, so I guess that's why people like us hold out.

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If experience was truly everything, no waiter couple would survive. Period. People really just don't realize that sex and intimacy are two totally different things: I can say that I have a pretty intimate relationship with my mother. Do I have sex with her? ACK!

 

And personally, I find it quite insulting to equate a man's overall worth with his sexual ability/skill. It sends the message that men are disposable and worthless if not for this proficiency. 

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The fact is, the overwhelming majority of men would probably prefer a virginal wife. It is, on its face, a silly assertion, probably invented by someone with a guilty conscience.

 

I disagree. If you ask me, its the only genuine assertion propagated by men who get around. A virginal wife is the ideal because in the bedroom, we're not being compared to someone else. This is my main issue with non-virgins/waiters. "Oh, yes! Let's compare my virgin husband to my experienced lover! I wonder whose better! That's totally not an unfair and one-sided contest!" An experienced woman is far less likely to have the required patience (and all-around compassion) to actually be considerate (you know, like a wife should be) and help her husband become a better lover.

 

Virgin or "stud", the virgin wife is a sound and valid preference.

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That is 100% true. It's no lie that many guys and maybe the majority of guys prefer a woman who knows her way around the bed. RJ_ they just don't have the time to wait. They play the game of treating you kindly because their goal is booty not love.

Although the statement is true for the most part I would like to point out that I and certainly the majority of waiters do not feel this way.

I'm a virgin. I prefer for my future Wife to be a virgin as well but if she is not I will still Love her with everything in me. Her being experienced or being skilled at sex does not come up on my mental list of preferences.

If she loves me than I bet I will enjoy the sex. Also it will be more intimate and draw us closer in a way very few experience if she is a virgin.

It's the way God intended because it works. If you meet a guy like that let him go. There's guys our there willing to wait, willing to be with you even if you've never done it. I'm one and the guys on this site are too. We're not extinct! God Bless!

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Thank you, everyone, for your responses to this!  Haha i like that this thread has been revived. :)

 

When I hear people make idiotic remarks like this, I simply have to giggle and let it slide.  I mean seriously, your opinion isn't going to sway my lifestyle.  I'm stubborn, but in mostly all of the right ways. I don't have casual sex (ew, that even seems like an oxymoron to me) because I don't want to treat something as vulnerable as sex in such a flippant manner.  For all of y'all who I know think like this, I think that makes us more mature, not less.  If a guy ever personally said this to me, I'd laugh in his face and walk away, no questions asked, no apology required. No worries on that one. ;)  I was just curious as to what other people thought.  Thank you, y'all are awesome!!

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ive always thought it was the guys experiance that matters not the girls, i definitely want a virgin cuz quite frankly ill probably be horrible at sex in the beginning. i want someone as unexperianced as i am so we can learn together, i think ive said this once before that i wanna take that journey with someone who hasnt been there and done that already.

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I don't care wether or not I marry a virgin or non virgin, I can think of only good things for either.

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I have heard that one before.

If that's true I'm doomed. I'm as inexperienced as it gets. I have never even held hands with a guy.

If I meet my future husband tomorrow he will be my first everything.

Fortunately its not true. The people who say that seem bitter.

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