Emulator

Last names?

37 posts in this topic

I'd take his last name....People mispronounce mine too much anyway. Hopefully his is something easy...

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I will gladly replace my last name with his, should I find someone who wants to give me his. :)

 

One, I'm a traditionalist in many ways (not so much in some) and the whole 'becoming one' idea is very special to me. Two, I kind of see this as a rite of passage for me, as a hopeless old fashioned romantic. Our rings are a physical symbol that we are each others, but my taking his last name is a way to be known as one family... because, that is what we are, a family. If he doesn't like his last name, we could choose one together, I guess that would be ok. I just want us to share a last name. If he loves me so much that he wants to marry me? Odds are he's going to find a way to let it be known that he is mine... that he is 'taken'. You know? :)

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I've always liked the idea of taking my husband's name, preceded by the preposition (as in French) de, or d'; not as a symbol of my being owned by him (I am, and shall forever be, my own person), but demonstrable of the fact that I am '(an extension) of him', if that makes sense...? From there, I would love for our children to adopt the same format, assuming the notion sits well with him.

My maiden name would be considered a 'spondee', I suppose; and there's a certain poetical quality to my first and last names, in the absence of my middle name, that I appreciate the sound of. Taking this into consideration, the keen linguist within me hopes for the retention of a two-syllable last name.  :P

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I've answered this in a few other places, but I'll chime in again on this thread.  :)

 

No, I won't be changing my last name. I've already legally changed it once, because I had a rather permanent falling out with my father and I couldn't stand to have his name any more. I'm pretty emotionally attached to my current name because to me it symbolizes my freedom. I've told my boyfriend that he can change his name to mine, we can both keep our own names, or we can try to find a new name for both of us to take, but I will not unilaterally change my last name to his.

 

I'm more or less OK with the prospect of giving our kids his last name, because my name doesn't have any familial ties -- it's literally something I picked off of the Internet because it was easy to spell/say, and I liked the way it went with my particular first and middle names.

 

My mom kept her maiden name when she got married, while my brother and I were given my father's last name. It never made me feel like my family was somehow "less" than other people's (in fact, for a while I was just confused as to how so many people coincidentally married someone with the same last name!). Now we're at a point where each member of my family has a different last name, which I think is kind of neat. So no matter what my boyfriend and I end up doing, I'm not particularly worried about facing any serious consequences for it.

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Nope I will never change my name. I was born with this name I will die with this name. My name is hyphenated, so I see no problem with kids having both parents last names.

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Like Steadfast said, I've answered elsewhere, but not here.

 

I'm married, and I kept my last name. My entire name is a huge part of my identity. My first and middle names are for both of my grandmothers. My last name is the same as my dad's side of the family, who have been in my hometown for over 100 years and have a street named after us. My entire name is connected to so many important people in my life, and I wouldn't want to change any of it.

 

I spent almost 27 years with my name. Why would I want to change it? Even as a kid, I never doodled Mrs. Johnathon Taylor Thomas or anything like that. (First celebrity crush--we all have them!)

 

Plus there's also a galaxy with my first and last name. Not just a star. A whole galaxy shares my name.

 

Also my name flows really prettily. It would not flow as nicely with Beau's last name.

 

Our names sound good together, though (not all names hyphenate well), so our kids will have our hyphenated names. Or we might give them a blended name, since we've also come up with both a joke blended name and a real one that's pretty good.

 

I also don't really understand the reasoning that people need to share a name to feel like family. If you need that, fine, whatever works for you. But I feel much more connected and closer to my mom's side of the family, despite all of them having one name and me having my dad's name. I also feel incredibly close to my in-laws, who have totally embraced me as one of their own, even though I didn't take Beau's name. I mean, we spend a lot of time with his mom's side of the family, and I feel close to them too, even though my own husband doesn't share their name.

 

Family is about love and commitment and the constant choice to make those people a priority. It's not about sharing a name.

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I spent almost 27 years with my name. Why would I want to change it? Even as a kid, I never doodled Mrs. Johnathon Taylor Thomas or anything like that. (First celebrity crush--we all have them!)

 

JTT was my first celebrity crush too!  :wub:

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JTT was my first celebrity crush too!  :wub:

 

I knew it couldn't be just me!

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I changed my name, but the amount of building-hopping and logistics of a name-change was pretty ridiculous.

 

In the US, you need to find and make an appointment to the Social Security Administration and get your updated Social Security card before you get your driver's license updated. Which means basically taking two days off from work because God forbid the government to be open on the weekends. After that, it's not as bad. But needing to take two days off of work for errands is a pain.

 

So people who would want to change their name either would be turned off by the paperwork or just not have any time to do it.

 

The upside is that your middle name can be your favorite pokemon.

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I feel it might be necessary to add that I share my last name with my estranged father, whom I haven't seen for many years. Oftentimes I've wanted to change my name; but, simply put, haven't ever felt a 'connection' with one - at least not with one that I think suits me - enough to adopt it as my own. This might well be, in part, due to the fact that I enjoy delving into the history of a given name, and the ancestry that one might have inherited along with it. I figure taking the name of the man I marry might end up being a happy medium, if not a predictably traditional one.  :D

 

When I was a kid I thought that would be my solution as well, but then I ended up falling for a guy who also has some troubled family history. I didn't want to end up swapping one messed-up father's last name for another (this would also be my only hesitation in passing on my boyfriend's last name).

 

I changed my name, but the amount of building-hopping and logistics of a name-change was pretty ridiculous.

 

In the US, you need to find and make an appointment to the Social Security Administration and get your updated Social Security card before you get your driver's license updated. Which means basically taking two days off from work because God forbid the government to be open on the weekends. After that, it's not as bad. But needing to take two days off of work for errands is a pain.

 

So people who would want to change their name either would be turned off by the paperwork or just not have any time to do it.

 

The upside is that your middle name can be your favorite pokemon.

 

This is part of why I was really eager to change my name while I was still in high school -- I handled the legal logistics during my breaks. For me, getting my fingerprints taken was the most annoying part (not sure if that's a national requirement or if it was just my state). Also, various officials are pretty used to women changing their last names, so they will cut you some slack if you don't get every single document updated immediately. Actually, I *still* need to get my passport updated....

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Honestly, I'm glad that we have the choice in the matter. With so many different thoughts, being able to decide what is best for us, not to mention what will make our significant other happy, it's good that we have choices because we are all so different.

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Family is about love and commitment and the constant choice to make those people a priority. It's not about sharing a name.

 

I agree that family is about love and commitment and making each other a priority, but I believe that in the case of some couples, sharing a name is a symbol of that bond. In my case, I can't wait to take my husband's last name. I come from a family where everyone has done that. As a child, I've really seen the last name as a way to show the unity of two people who were previously unrelated and now share a lifetime bond. But taking his last name will not make us a family. We will be a family because of those things you mentioned. The shared last name is just a traditional symbol, and I'm excited to keep that tradition alive.

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