Sally

How "Should" Christians Date??

12 posts in this topic

I thought that was really good. I do think that as Christians we get a bad wrap as far as dating is concerned. But that also stems from the fact that there are many Christians out there who ARE way too cautious abt dating. I loved how the article put it; just because you go on one date with someone doesn't mean you have to marry them! Amen! Just put yourself out there, get some experience. Learn what you like in someone and what you don't. I can identify with some of what the article says not to do because some of that used to be me several yrs ago. I also like how it says "group dates" aren't really getting to know someone that well...I agree. Nothing wrong with starting out that way but after a few group hangouts two people should really try one on one, in my opinion.

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Hmmm....I somewhat disagree with the article. As someone who is very marriage minded, I would not even consider going on a date with someone who I couldn't see at least a future with. I just don't think it's the best use of time and money to just date around. I do agree with her that we shouldn't automatically try to evaluate whether every person we have the slightest interest in is worth marrying. But don't think we need to date casually just to see if there is any attraction or interest. I think that can be done just being friends where there are no expectations and where we can be ourselves and naturally build of interest and attraction that way. Just hang out in groups and one on one and go from there. If something develops, then maybe a date with intention can be in the talks. If nothing develops, then no big deal. At least you still have a friend. I can't count how many times I've been friends with girls I'm interested in, but later in my mind find out we're not a good match. It saves the trouble of having to have that awkward conversation of how we're not compatible that we would have to have if we were on a date. BTW, I do think one on one is very important but I do think groups are as well. I think it's important to see how your love interest interacts with others and gauge how they treat others or whether they associate themselves with friends who are a good or bad influence.

Just my opinion.

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Maybe it's just a different philosophy than some, and it's ok if it is, but mine (and the article's too I would say) has been to always have the whole "marriage material" thoughts in the back of my mind...but not the front. Don't discount them; but don't be asking yourself after the first date if you'd marry her or not. Because knowing things like that take time...A LOT of time. I don't think it's just dating for the sake of dating...it's recognizing that you'll probably end up learning some things about yourself that you didn't know. Maybe she won't be the one for you; but maybe she will. And for me the only way to find out has been to date. It's not dating without the intent to marry; it's dating BEFORE you intend to marry. Have confidence in your judgement...but don't have TOO much...if that makes any sense. I guess I like to think of it as trusting God's judgement more than my own. If he appears to be bringing someone into my life, I take note even if I'm not that sure about it. Sometimes it's turned out to be a dud lol...or maybe he was just messing with me XP. LOL but you get the idea. Just more random thoughts. :)

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For me, I don't have to know that I definitely want to marry someone before being willing to date him, but I have to know that I - excuse the double negative - do not NOT want to marry them. That is, I do not feel that it would be right for me to date someone I have absolutely no intention of ever marrying, someone I knew was completely wrong for me. But I don't believe that I have to give every potential date the third degree before having dinner with them. If I don't know every little thing about a person that could potentially be a deal-breaker right away, that's okay, but I would like to find these things out soon, and I would not want to continue the romantic relationship if something came up that showed me we were unsuitable for marriage.

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hmmm the article was interesting but when I was reading the tips, no offense to anyone, but none of them are how I date. :huh: So I guess to each his own and whatever works for one person may not work another. I take romantic relationships serious because I am a very soft person :blush: so dating "casually" would not work for me. lol :lol:

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hmmm the article was interesting but when I was reading the tips, no offense to anyone, but none of them are how I date. :huh: So I guess to each his own and whatever works for one person may not work another. I take romantic relationships serious because I am a very soft person :blush: so dating "casually" would not work for me. lol :lol:

I know what you mean, I take them very seriously as well---I don't take becoming bf/gf lightly or saying "I love you". But, I thought it would be good to post to get people thinking and see if they relate to any or have friends who relate to any. OR, if you yourself relate to one but are thinking of dating a little differently--say more seriously or more casually. I guess I would say I'm casual about a date or two, but once it gets to be like 4 or 5 I want to see if he's also thinking about being in a relationship or not. So I guess just step by step :)

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Heres a question related to the topic but not the article, what do you guys think about christians dating atheists, knowing what the bible says about this, what do you guys think about this?

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Heres a question related to the topic but not the article, what do you guys think about christians dating atheists, knowing what the bible says about this, what do you guys think about this?

Personally, I am against it. The Bible tells us not to be "unequally yoked" and this is one of the ways (the most MAJOR one) that I believe it's talking about. For me, most of my views on things from waiting til marriage, to politcal issues, to decisions I make on a day-to-day basis, are based (at least loosely) on my Christian faith...and how I'm trying to live that out. I could never marry (and henceforth, never even date) an atheist because I don't honestly think they could understand me or where I was coming from. And couple that with the fact that you are probably never going to "change them over" and I just frankly don't see the point. My faith is very important to me and out of all the people in this world, the one who I should most definitely be able to share that with would be my wife.

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I agree with DD. If you follow/practice a particular religion and your SO doesnt, then you won't be able to share an important part of your lives. I think people who marry who are of different faiths do not regularly "practice" so to speak. I just can't see even dating, let alone marrying someone who I couldn't have conversations with about my bible study group, religious topics, religious books I've read, retreats I've been on, or planned, etc.

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