Your thoughts on "Stay-at-home dads."

[Invincible 8,026]

Let's make one thing clear. Both moms and dads get crap for staying at home and raising kids in some form or another. For moms, they are usually the target of other women who believe in a misguided sense of feminism. At least stay-at-home moms seem to get just as much praise from others for taking the monumental responsibility of raising kids 24/7, a view which I myself hold. But if a man becomes a stay-at-home dad, he is almost universally viewed as a deadbeat husband who is lazy and a leech.

In this tough economy, stay-at-home dads are on the rise. Many traditionally male dominated fields like construction are being downsized or outsourced, leaving more and more mothers to be the sole breadwinner of families. Now even for those who scowl at the idea of SAHDs, I think in this case you can't blame the fathers. They did not choose to be in this situation, it's simply a circumstance that was beyond their control.

But the question is, what do you think of dads staying at home?

Personally, I think it's up to each family to decide based on their situation and needs. As a Christian, I often hear most churches argue that a husband has to be the one to provide based on 1 Timothy 5:8. But nowhere in there does it specify that it has to come in the form of a paycheck. "Provide" is such a broad term. It can come in the form of emotional support, protection etc. In that broad definition, surely it also commands that a mother provides for her family in her own way. Now I'm a firm believer that women should be allowed to choose to have a career or to be a stay-at-home mom. Either choice should be celebrated, not looked down upon. But I also believe that most men have a natural desire to provide financially in a relationship. It could be culturally ingrained, but I do know that I personally want to be the one to provide financially in a marriage, even if I'm not the only one. I know it sounds stupid, but I would feel less of a man if I was forced to stay at home.

[Gale 38]

I think it depends on both the husband and wife. Most couples who have defined goals and responsibilities have less problems than those who are not. For example, it's the job of the dad to be mowing the lawn and washing the car; the mom would be on washing the dishes and taking care of the kids. If one doesn't do what is expected, it causes problem to the other party as well as the family. But for my own preference, I like guys who aren't all the time at home -- much better if he works for the family too. I heard some guys don't like going out. I don't like it. I love going on trips so I would have to find someone who would join me.

[Kailey 1,072]

I very much believe in the traditional roles for husband and wife. I chose a traditionally female job, elementary school teacher, and I feel like I am a more traditional than society in general. I think part of the reason I chose teaching is because it is conducive to raising a family and if I had to work when kids arrive, it would allow me to at least be home in the summer-but I already know that I want to stay at home with my kids. However, if for some reason my husband couldn't get work and I had to work, I would very much prefer that he be the one caring for them instead of taking them to a daycare-my mind would be so much more at ease. I respect the men that do it very much .

[MarriageMaterial 1,391]

I dont have any problem with a man staying at home, in this economic climate many families dont have much of a choice when it comes to who can stay at home to mind the children due to unemployment etc. I dont know what my family is going to do if I'm blessed with children someday. I love my career but I 100% feel that raising my kids to be good well rounded individuals is far more important than any day job so I would love to stay at home. But whether I will be able to afford to do that will depend on whether my husband will have a secure and steady job and the income requirements of the family. If I was the one who had to work, I would much rather my husband to stay at home and mind the kids rather than hand them over to a stranger.

[Invincible 8,026]

If I was the one who had to work, I would much rather my husband to stay at home and mind the kids rather than hand them over to a stranger.

I totally agree. I for one do not want my kids growing up in daycare or even by another family member other than me or my future wife if at all possible. I hope that my future wife will agree with me in that if we can afford it, I would want one of us to stay at home and raise the kids full time. Once we start a family, I view it as much more important than any career goal. Regardless of how I feel about being a stay at home dad, I will do it if I had to for the good of my family and I will respect and love my wife for taking the responsibility of financially providing for the family.

[MarriageMaterial 1,391]

I totally agree. I for one do not want my kids growing up in daycare or even by another family member other than me or my future wife if at all possible. I hope that my future wife will agree with me in that if we can afford it, I would want one of us to stay at home and raise the kids full time. Once we start a family, I view it as much more important than any career goal. Regardless of how I feel about being a stay at home dad, I will do it if I had to for the good of my family and I will respect and love my wife for taking the responsibility of financially providing for the family.

My thoughts exactly!! The wellbeing of your children and the way they are brought up is far more important then any job IMO.

[Canada10024 722]

I'll keep it real simple. My cousin "Jack" had his wife stay at home and raise their kids. They lived decently but never had a lot of excess money. However, THEY raised THEIR kids. They have two amazing teenagers with a moral compass that politicians would kill for. Is it a bad if one parent stays at home? No. Some people's value structures are more important than their wallet. Enough said.

[annabell 26]

I know this may be somewhat off topic but, personally I love the idea of being a stay-at-home mother. People and even my own family are most likely going to criticize me for I'm already being pushed to travel the world and do all these things even though I have little or no desire to do any of that. Some men may feel the same way but typically I have noticed that men do want to be the sole bread winners, but with the economy I can fully understand if a dad had to stay home. I agree with some of the comments above, I have no children but just the thought of my future children being in the care of someone I don't know is scary thought.

Working at a job is or can be rough but whats even rougher is raising children because you are responsible for the way your child is taught, taken care of, and several other things. You are also accountable for them 24 hours not just the average 8 hours a day. If it was to ever come to my future husband having to be at home with our children, then no I wouldn't judge him or think of him any less as a man. But personally, I'd love to be home with my children.

[AlexeiZ 254]

I think it's fine, if need be. But ideally I think both parents should work after children have grown up a but, maybe after they turn 14 or so. But at first, I would prefer to be the one working and my wife taking care of the kids

[Alex 98]

Honestly I wouldn't care if my husband decided to be a stay at home dad. I also don't mind if my kid goes to daycare a couple hours a day so we can both work. I honestly have zero desire to be a stay at home mother. I can see the benefit of staying home and being with your child, but I also find that daycare does have some benefits as well. I guess it comes from being in a family that believes in what a daycare can offer a child and not seeing it as just supervision for children. No matter if my child is in daycare or somebody stays home with them, my spouse and I can raise our child and always be there for them.

[Phoenix 28]

I believe the stay-at-home-dad is a very noble occupation, indeed. My neighbor is one. I admire watching him take his little girl to school (he usually wears her little pink hello kitty backpack on their way to the car, lol <3) and visit her at the pool. It's so very endearing.

[Sophie 1,280]

I don't have anything against stay-at-home dads. It's unusual, but I guess if the mother makes more money then it would only make sense. But I am sure glad that my mom was the primary caretaker. My dad is a fun guy, but I would have died from malnutrition if he had to take care of me for more than a day. No joke. My mom never trusted my dad to take care of me when I was a child, she always asked one of her friends to do it, or the mother of one of my friends.

[TinyDancer 484]

I don't have any problem with them at all! I think the decision to stay at home or work outside of the home, or some combination of the two, is a personal decision that each person and each couple make for themselves and for their family, regardless of gender.

Hooray for stay at home dads, working dads, stay at home moms, and working moms! Do your thing! (Whatever that may be!)