Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Guest markb4

What kind of wife would you like to be?

45 posts in this topic

Hey all,

Just another question for the ladies. Just wondering when you get married, what kind of a wife would you like to be? Would you prefer to be a traditional housewife or a career wife or mixture of the two or something else, etc? Just think it'd be interesting to hear what you all have to say :) .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Mark!

Hmm...

I think I'd prefer to be a stay-at-home mum, at least until my kids were a little older. I think I'd like to work if it was a job I loved, but I'd definitely want to put family first...

As long as I had time for my hobbies (violin, singing, musical theatre) and for my family, I think I'd be happy!

xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

being a house wife would be cool and all but i dont really expect a man to take care of me and i barley clean up after myself. im going to be a family therapist witch is something i really want to do plus i would get to choice my schedule.

Question for you.(and other guy who read this) what kind of wife would you want your wife to be? would you feel that she should work to because it not fair for only one of you to contribute to the family finances? would like a wife to stay at home and take care of your family? or would you not care either way?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

being a house wife would be cool and all but i dont really expect a man to take care of me and i barley clean up after myself. im going to be a family therapist witch is something i really want to do plus i would get to choice my schedule.

Question for you.(and other guy who read this) what kind of wife would you want your wife to be? would you feel that she should work to because it not fair for only one of you to contribute to the family finances? would like a wife to stay at home and take care of your family? or would you not care either way?

Thanks for replying Andi! That's an excellent question that I think deserves its own thread. Make it another discussion topic Andi, and I'll answer it there :) .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry Andi, already beat ya to it :P just really interested in what the guys have to say haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol that's okay i want to know what they'll say too. ill defnintly be scrolling throw the ansers :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wife wise

I'd be there for my husband when he needed me. I'd make sure he know I loved unconditionally. He would be well taken care of as long as he knows a marriage is a 50/50 thing. I'd love with all my heart as long he respected my passions and family and understand my family and godkids come before anyone else.

Mother wise

Well I personally don't want my own kids because there are so many health issues in my family and I couldn't live with myself if I passed them down to my kids. Especially obesity. I would maybe one day when I can adopt. There are so many kids who need caring homes. I would love to show those poor littles that they are still good mommies and daddies out there

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm going to continue working full time, both when I get married and when I have kids and I'd like to have a husband that is supportive of my decision and will be proud to have a careerwoman for a wife. Both of my parents worked full time when I was growing up, not because they had to financially, but because they both loved their careers and wanted to work and didn't want that to change once they started a family. So we had a live-in nanny/housekeeper that took care of me during the day before I was old enough to start school. I'm a big believer in quality over quantity when it comes to parenting. Even though I only saw my parents in the evening and on the weekends, they both always made sure that the time they spent with me was meaningful, so consequently I always felt loved by my parents and never felt like I was being neglected by them because they both worked full time.

Anyways, I intend to work and also expect my husband to contribue to housecleaning and cooking. That doesn't necessarily mean he has to do those things himself. My dad doesn't cook or clean, but he's happy to pay for occasional cleaning services and is happy to eat out or order in several times a week so my mom doesn't have to cook all the time. I would be happy with that same kind of arrangement in my marriage.

I don't have anything against women who want to stay home or men who want their wives to stay home. That's just not for me. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tiny Dancer,

I feel the same way about a lot of that as you. I would like to continue teaching while I'm married and not have kids for a few years like my parents did. Then, once I have kids, I wouldn't work until they are in school full day--so about 6 years old. Then I would go back to work. I would probably take work home instead of staying after school so I could do it in between things with the kids or once they go to bed.

My Dad has set the bar high for any man I look for because sometimes he would do the dishes after my Mom made dinner, or if she was gone visiting friends/her Mom for a couple days, he would cook real meals too. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sally,

I'm glad someone feels the same way as me about a lot of these things. My parents also waited a while before they had me and I'd like to do the same.

I don't know if you saw the second Sex and the City movie, but there's a scene where Miranda and Charlotte are commiserating about juggling work and home. Anyways, Miranda (who's between jobs at the time because her last boss was disrespectful to her) says something along the lines of "I love my son and as much as I've loved being home with him recently... it's not enough. I miss my job." When I saw the movie in a theatre, a group of women literally cheered out loud when she delivered that line, and it made me so happy when they did that because I thought, "Yay! I'm not the only woman who wants a career every bit as much as I want a family!"

What I'm trying to say is, even if you don't agree with me on everything to do with this topic, it's REALLY NICE to know that there's someone on here who agrees with me on at least some of these things! :)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

a traditional house wife or as close as i can get, when i first get married i want to work for a little, then when i have children i want to work from home or part time, with very little children under 4 years i wont work, over 4 years under 7 years ill work from home, over 8 years ill work part time, but my main priority would be my family, but it is not always possible in a modern world with modern bills to be a traditional wife properly. lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...under 4 i wont work, over 4 under 7 ill work from home, over 8 ill work part time, but my main priority would be my family...

4... 7... 8... & more! :blink::P May the FORCE be with you & definitely with HIM! :lol: <Looks like UK is going to be the next INDIA!> :lol:;)

Jokes apart, I am glad to see women considering the 'traditional' option! :) Not that I am against women being self supporting but I think this mindset kind of establishes that they really value the family & do want the marriage to be a successful one! :)

Kudos to you El & others too!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i meant there ages im not having 7 children lol

Oooooops... I rushed through & looks like I ended up getting it wrong in totality! :lol::P Silly me! :lol: Anywayz plz ignore my last post in this thread ladies & gentlemen! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol :lol: you guys are funny :) i agree with most of you i would love to stay home that would be cool but in this economy here in America it's not realistic and i would will be working as a family counselor so its not as if i will be neglecting the most importation family i will help mine :D and i would be helping people.

-ya i no i already commented but i felt the need to go more in depth given other comments

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd just like to reply to some of the comments made in this thread. First off, I'll reiterate that I don't have anything against women who want to stay home or men who prefer women who want to stay home. That being said, a woman wanting to have a career in addition to wanting to have a family does not mean that she doesn't consider her family her first priority or that she doesn't care about her marriage being successful. Having a career does not make a woman less of a wife or less of a mother. Men are allowed to be husbands and fathers and to have careers. If a man keeps working after he gets married and after his spouse has a child, nobody would question his dedication to his marriage or his family. He's expected to work. People would think it strange if he didn't continue working. Yet if a woman does the same, she's considered selfish and written off as a non-traditional (and perhaps lesser) wife and mother. This double standard simply isn't fair.

I'm a good person and I've worked hard all my life to succeed at a career that makes me happy and makes a difference in the world. I also want to get married and have a family some day. If I were a man, this would make me a catch. But since I'm a woman, my desire to have a full-time career IN ADDITION to a family makes the world (especially men) look at me like I have the plague or that I've committed some horrible crime. It's not fair and it really hurts. I haven't done anything wrong.

If you want to stay home or want your future wife to stay home, please do so! I have no problem with that. Your living situation doesn't prevent me from living my life the way I'd like to. But please don't presume to know what's in my mind or in my heart, especially if that presumption is based on nothing more than my decision to work.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I'd want to be a traditional housewife - taking care of the kids, doing the housework, etc. It's not because I am some obedient, selfless, anti-feminist freak. I just really enjoy staying at home, working jobs/careers gives me absolutely no pleasure, and if I am going to work very, very hard for something, I would rather work for my kids and husband than work for a company. So yes, I hope that I can find a husband who can completely support me and our children. That being said, I am not going to allow my entire life to revolve around them. I would never give up reading, writing, studying languages, etc.

Edit: I just want to add that if I managed to find a job/career that I really loved, I would not give it up if I got married and had kids.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd just like to reply to some of the comments made in this thread. First off, I'll reiterate that I don't have anything against women who want to stay home or men who prefer women who want to stay home. That being said, a woman wanting to have a career in addition to wanting to have a family does not mean that she doesn't consider her family her first priority or that she doesn't care about her marriage being successful. Having a career does not make a woman less of a wife or less of a mother. Men are allowed to be husbands and fathers and to have careers. If a man keeps working after he gets married and after his spouse has a child, nobody would question his dedication to his marriage or his family. He's expected to work. People would think it strange if he didn't continue working. Yet if a woman does the same, she's considered selfish and written off as a non-traditional (and perhaps lesser) wife and mother. This double standard simply isn't fair.

I'm a good person and I've worked hard all my life to succeed at a career that makes me happy and makes a difference in the world. I also want to get married and have a family some day. If I were a man, this would make me a catch. But since I'm a woman, my desire to have a full-time career IN ADDITION to a family makes the world (especially men) look at me like I have the plague or that I've committed some horrible crime. It's not fair and it really hurts. I haven't done anything wrong.

If you want to stay home or want your future wife to stay home, please do so! I have no problem with that. Your living situation doesn't prevent me from living my life the way I'd like to. But please don't presume to know what's in my mind or in my heart, especially if that presumption is based on nothing more than my decision to work.

Totally understand and agree w/u TinyDancer! I was at first afraid to post this topic for fear that sexist remarks/comments/understandings may be presented or underlined. But, you have a valid point, TinyDancer! I guess it all has to do with the stereotypes that are in the world. I guess women are stereotyped to be in the home only and that's why many women get bad feelings/looks from other people when they want a career as well. And I guess it works the same w/men too. If a man decides to quit work all together and let him wife work and let him be a "househusband" only, then I'm sure he'll get a lot of looks/feelings from other people as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would love to work from home so I can fit work around the children.

I would never let my wife do everything around the house, I would want us to tam turns cooking dinner or if she doesn't like cooking I will do all the cooking, if the laundry or the ironing needs doing I'd be more than happy to do it as well as the vacuming dusting etc my family will always come first and even if I can't work from home I will still do my fair share around the house (at least 50%).

I love children so I would say I would do at least 50% of childcare/child related activities but I know it will be way more than that because I can't wait to be a dad (not that I would rush into it).

-Aaron

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would be the lucky one as not only would I have found my true love but I also got to marry her! Which means I get to grow old with her and spend the rest of my life with her and that to me is what would be lucky.

-Aaron

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I mean as the way you view things, the way you talk about things---more romantic, but still serious !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think all of you are missing the big picture here!!!!!! All you guys wrote about is starting a family.... Personally when I get married I want to spend the first couple of years just me and my wife. I want to travel the world with her (See the great wall of china,Travel europe, etc) Build those special memories together and have our bond grow stronger. I really think that this is important because once you start a family alot of this is something you can no longer do because of children. Maybe am wrong maybe am not..... Also ladies if anyone tells you that you have to give up your career to have a family thats total bs, I personally am for it, why should you have to stop your career to have a family both my parents worked full time when I was little and I turned out fine, like tiny dance said I believe its the quality of time not the quantity.....

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks seeflo, I don't wanna give up teaching to have kids and I don't want to have kids til I'm 30 at minimum. Those are both weird to some, so its nice to hear you think the same :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0