wny

Dating an Older Guy

89 posts in this topic

Age is very irrelevant to me. Would I marry an older man? Yes. Would I marry a younger man? Yes. I only care what's inside him. :)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But back to your statement...it sounds like you would like to have an older life partner/counterpart but you have no hope that they're out there or would be a virgin at your age. Based on this site there are in fact virgins your age who may not necessarily want kids right off the bat either...but maybe you could try for someone 27-28? (If you're like 30ish...and not married) Because you make it sound like you're settling for someone who is younger because you have no hope of marrying an older virgin. I could be totally wrong but that's just what I got from your statement.

On the flip side Im 25 and if I got married tomorrow I would NOT want children until at least 30 possibly 35. I guess I feel like Ive waited my whole life for someone and I want to cherish and enjoy the years with my husband until I decide if I want kids.

But yeah just relax and wait for the woman who feels 100% right in your heart and try not to over think it too much but just trust that you will find this woman and don't settle on what you think you can only find versus what your heart wants.

I posted this almost a year ago, but I appreciate the response as it is something I still think about. Just to clarify, I currently am young (21), but see a distinct possibility that I could still be single when I'm in my late 20s or early 30s. You've hit the nail on the head when it comes to why I think I would have to go for a younger woman when I'm older. I don't want kids (if ever) until I am somewhat old and I want to marry a virgin (even more extreme than that, but for simplicity's sake we'll leave it it at that). I figure this will most likely require marrying a younger woman. You're somewhat correct about the part about me preferring someone closer to my own age. I tend to connect better with somewhat older people and find most women my age and younger to be rather immature in one way or the other. So, I wouldn't necessarily be "settling" for someone younger if I found one who was very mature (they do exist, I'm sure), but in a way I would be if I ended up with a more immature one.

 

I'm not quite as optimistic as you are about the perfectly right woman for me coming along and my not having to settle on anything. Yes, this site shows there are some older virgins, but statistically it is incredibly rare. It's probably less than 1% of the population. Then, combine this with my also wanting her to wait on kids and also wanting the normal relationship things like having things and values in common and wanting to be attracted to her (I'm even pickier than many in this regard, but that's another issue for another post) and it seems near impossible to meet this woman. The most reasonable concession I can make to make things at least somewhat easier is to be willing to date women a decent bit younger than me, even if I fear they're not as mature as I would like.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my ex-boyfriend was 12 years older than me and i had mixed feelings about our age difference. I liked how he was more experienced, more confident, and knew at that point what kind of girl he wanted [so i trusted that he wouldn't cheat]. However, i will admit that i got a bit embarrassed when someone asked me how old he was and i would have to reveal our age gap. But all in all i prefer older men and i feel like most women feel this way.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah you're opinion is based on your age and situation . Get older less good choices when the dating crowd is 20 to 27 . Lol. You keep getting older . Getting older you realize silly things like you can be alone you're whole life or be happy at least less lonely . If you get a long well that is hard to find enjoy it . Benefits both ways even single mother's cause you may not want kids and there leaving the nest or out og diapers already . Lol. A lot of people end up with what they thought they wouldn't do . People never did fit into boxes or stereo type's . dam thing called love sneaks up on you. Haha. All logic is out the widow awww.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good point is Brenda I think . I always only had chances with older or younger . Life may not deliver what you want . Close should be good enough I used to turn close down . Stupid I say . So be happy some on still likes you . I am older now I get the age I wanted . Young and dumb isn't a myth and if you are mature at a younger age doom on you cause there all nuts. I wasn't super mature but enough to be bypassed or sit you're drlf out. Good thoughts people .

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I used to have a thing for older men and swore I'd never date, much less marry, a guy younger than me but guess that fell through cus my husband is younger than me. It happened by chance not choice though. So honestly, WNY, age really doesn't matter all that will matter if that person is good to you and ya'll have a good relationship♥

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I used to have a thing for older men and swore I'd never date, much less marry, a guy younger than me but guess that fell through cus my husband is younger than me. It happened by chance not choice though. So honestly, WNY, age really doesn't matter all that will matter if that person is good to you and ya'll have a good relationship♥

How much younger than you is he? Because there is a guy who is 5 years younger than me who likes me and he seems to be a great guy but I told him that it bothers me that he is so young and now he seems to be holding back and I don't know what to do. I kind of miss him now. :P 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

5 years isn't much of an age difference once youre past your early 20's. When he's 25 you'd be 30, 35 and 40. I've never gotten past how strange a 10 or more year difference is though..

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How much younger than you is he? Because there is a guy who is 5 years younger than me who likes me and he seems to be a great guy but I told him that it bothers me that he is so young and now he seems to be holding back and I don't know what to do. I kind of miss him now. :P

Jc Nicole how old are you? 5 years may seem like a lot now ( I think you're around my age if I remember correctly, 26) but the difference at 30 and 35 even, probably isn't that much. There are immature older guys, mature young guys, vice versa and anything in between.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am 24. I will be 25 in November. He is 19. He'll be 20 in December. I already told him we should just be friends for now and he seemed to be disappointed but was understanding at the same time. I don't want to be the girl who changes her mind too much. :P I have a feeling we should just be friends for a while so I can see how mature he is. However, I feel like he is pulling back and I might not get that opportunity. We have plans to hang out on Saturday but he only kept those plans because we made them before we had the conversation about our ages. 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I mean I'm not saying go for it if you're not sure about him but I'm glad you're seeing him and hanging out. Once you get to know him a degree better you might be like "wow this guy is way too immature for me" or could be "wow I actually think I'd wanna date this guy!" Or it may not be that cut and dry haha ;). But good for you for getting out there and seeing what happens.

And I agree, 20 and 25 is still a big gap life experience wise, at least typically. It is true that it will basically only get smaller from here on out which is good but waiting a year or two might not be a bad thing either. That's a tough one.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great news to hear you are going out and see what's out there. I would wait and stay friends for now and see what happens. I would wait until he at least 22 or a bit more mature. I would always marry a women who is 23-27 years old because she is more mature and hopes she is a virgin but hope she is at least she is a non smoker.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let me just add a little bit to this. Someone might not be the same after rejection. I know some friends who liked a guy then got rejected and now the guy is tryin to pursue them but they're not having it. So he might be hurt or maybe still interested, just be careful of what exact message you want to send to him because people can only take so much..

Btw this is for NN on the younger guy thing :P wow this topic did a 180 huh?

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@NicoleNova Stay friends for now and avoid rejection. I would wait for him to get a bit older or just look for a guy a bit closer to your age. Btw, happy birthday for November

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How much younger than you is he? Because there is a guy who is 5 years younger than me who likes me and he seems to be a great guy but I told him that it bothers me that he is so young and now he seems to be holding back and I don't know what to do. I kind of miss him now. :P

 

he is 4 years younger(he's 20 and I'll be 24) and I swore I'd never give a younger guy a chance but like DD said I considered that once we got older it wouldn't be such a big deal. & we are like two peas in a pod it's awesome! So basically my point is give a guy a chance if he seems decent because the things that matter for a guy as a "bf" are def. not that big of a deal for a husband. Like height, looks, etc. All that matters are things that superficial things can't  make up for♥ Good luck girl!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With that logic, I am out of luck with younger women. I'm 27 and hoping to marry a nice girl aged 20-28 years old

he is 4 years younger(he's 20 and I'll be 24) and I swore I'd never give a younger guy a chance

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With that logic, I am out of luck with younger women. I'm 27 and hoping to marry a nice girl aged 20-28 years old

 

 Why are you out of luck Karthik?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Because I am stuck work 24/7, don't have a car and most women on WTM forum and in general go for younger toy boys. I am the type of guy who is into courgers

Why are you out of luck Karthik?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Because I am stuck work 24/7, don't have a car and most women on WTM forum and in general go for younger toy boys. I am not the type of guy who is into mature women.

Why are you out of luck Karthik?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Because I am stuck work 24/7, don't have a car and most women on WTM forum and in general go for younger toy boys. I am not the type of guy who is into mature women.

Actually most women on the forums like older guys. I am one of the few who don't mind guys a few years younger.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank goodness for that. Hope you have the best luck in getting that younger guy. :)

Actually most women on the forums like older guys. I am one of the few who don't mind guys a few years younger.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Because I am stuck work 24/7, don't have a car and most women on WTM forum and in general go for younger toy boys. I am the type of guy who is into courgers

 

well get a different job save your money and get a car. See problem solved. :) Best wishes and like NicoleNova said most girls actually prefer an older guy so you are not out of luck just depends on who you go for and who they are into. Good luck!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am currently self employed and trying to find a good job in IT however I am getting the door slammed in my face. Car wise, I need to retake the driving test

well get a different job save your money and get a car. See problem solved. :) Best wishes and like NicoleNova said most girls actually prefer an older guy so you are not out of luck just depends on who you go for and who they are into. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am currently self employed and trying to find a good job in IT however I am getting the door slammed in my face. Car wise, I need to retake the driving test

 

just keep going something is bound to pop up :)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now