truelovewaits

some derogatory things said about 'older virgins'

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I don't get what's so bad about being a virgin especially after a certain age. Why do people think you're weird if your a 30 year old virgin. I don't care what society or others think about me because I made a choice to not have sex until marriage. If a guy or anyone else can't respect that screw them. It's not like you're going to die without sex or get a disease. Society and people have really stupid rules on what they think it's right. I truly believe some people might have a hard time believing that sex isn't everything.

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What bothers me is how men who are virgins are often slammed so viciously for lacking experience in ONE area. Just one area. There are also really nasty stereotypes of virgin men, including mama’s boys, basement dwelling young men with neckbeards or young men who are afraid of women. I know plenty of non virgin men who are really immature and not grown out of their frat boy immaturity levels probably because of their over-inflated ego over getting laid. Being a virgin doesn’t mean that I am still a boy like the 40 Year Old Virgin portrays virgin men. But I really dislike the nasty stereotype that people in their mid twenties and older who are still virgins “somehow have something wrong with them.†Being devirginized probably wouldn’t change anything over night other than the fact of me not being a virgin.

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I think I might be more bothered by older virgins being called "nonexistent" than I am by insults. Yes, insults are probably worse, but I think if someone is being a jerk you can just write them or at least their comment off as just being stupid. When someone says older virgins (and, even crazier, they often don't even really mean "older"-when they say this they mean, like, 20) don't exist, it's almost more depressing since the person often isn't saying it to be meanspirited like one who says an insult is. They're basically stating that people like you don't exist. Given that one of my goals is to find likeminded people, that gives me more anxiety than an insult would really offend me.

 

Strictly speaking, it is another form of ignorance since obviously older virgins do exist. Still, it stresses me out.

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I think I might be more bothered by older virgins being called "nonexistent" than I am by insults. Yes, insults are probably worse, but I think if someone is being a jerk you can just write them or at least their comment off as just being stupid. When someone says older virgins (and, even crazier, they often don't even really mean "older"-when they say this they mean, like, 20) don't exist, it's almost more depressing since the person often isn't saying it to be meanspirited like one who says an insult is. They're basically stating that people like you don't exist. Given that one of my goals is to find likeminded people, that gives me more anxiety than an insult would really offend me.

 

Strictly speaking, it is another form of ignorance since obviously older virgins do exist. Still, it stresses me out.

 

So I'm not the only one who's run into this? Interesting.

 

I can think of a few occasions where I've seen this happen, even in places like church where you'd think that there would be more like-minded folks.  In one specific example, I was in a men's only bible study where the speaker notes that he is going to make a sexual reference in an analogy. He hesitates for a second, then asserts that there are no virgins in the room anyway so it doesn't matter. Funnily enough, another guy in the class did assert back that he was a virgin, but the speaker's comment still stung a bit.

 

If anything else, it's a really disheartening sentiment. Instead of being encouraged, you feel like you're on an island by yourself. This is one of the reasons why I believe that waiters should be a little more vocal with their stance.  People need to realize that not everyone is 'doing it'. It's sad that even in environments like church where waiting should be encouraged, you're still treated like a unicorn or something.

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What age line exactly constitutes "older" virgins?

Considering the world today, its probably any age later than 12.

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Considering the world today, its probably any age later than 12.

If that..........

;)

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This is a topic that touches my heart a lot, too. It's amazing the assumptions people make. I do find ways to express myself, to those who are intelligent, sensitive, and respectful. All in all, the concept of "older" virgins sounds so silly to me. We are only older because of the fact that we're not married yet. In many cultures, we would have help (from intelligent elders, matchmakers, community rituals around meeting partners...) but in the modern usa, we are left by ourselves... and even those who do have sex before marriage also express the same desires/longings: wanting to meet their life partner. But the support for that is not built into our culture any more. It's something I've been thinking a lot about...

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What age line exactly constitutes "older" virgins?

I think most people think you're starting to get there at around 20. 22 is probably the age when you're really considered an "older" virgin. People figure you've made it past the college years (even if you didn't go to college) and that there is something off if you haven't experienced sex yet.

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I think most people think you're starting to get there at around 20. 22 is probably the age when you're really considered an "older" virgin. People figure you've made it past the college years (even if you didn't go to college) and that there is something off if you haven't experienced sex yet.

 

I've heard everything from 18 to 25, but yeah, 20/22 seems to be most common.

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I have noticed that most people accept you for being a virgin. Some people might make some negative comments, or ask why you are doing it, but most people are easy to get along with.

 

I really like guns, and and have a lot of libertarian ideals that very few people believe in. If this makes me different, then I am proud to be different. I am not changing my beliefs no matter how "unpopular" they might be. In fact, I take it as a compliment when people call me "different".

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I have noticed that most people accept you for being a virgin. Some people might make some negative comments, or ask why you are doing it, but most people are easy to get along with.

 

My friends have never really given me a hard time about being a virgin. They've given me a hard time about how picky I am about the type of girl I insist on having my first time with (gorgeous, virgin), but they've never given me a hard time about being a virgin in and of itself. Most of the deragotory comments I've seen have been on the internet, which I suppose is the place people are most derogatory.

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