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I Don't Wait Anymore. Grace for the Road.

Living life in the present

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#1 Sally

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Posted 09 September 2012 - 10:42 PM

http://graceforthero...2/03/idontwait/

This is NOT about an argument against waiting. Rather, a girl looks reflectively on her upbringing in her particular church and youth group and what she wishes they did differently regarding young girls and WTM. She phrases it as "not waiting for life to happen, but living and not waiting for something to happen". She is still WTM...definitely a good read!!

#2 WanderingWashingtonian

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Posted 09 September 2012 - 11:16 PM

Sally, when I saw the title of the thread, I was worried about you for a second: "Sally doesn't wait anymore? Oh dear!" So glad to see that's not what this post was about!

That was a very good article, and it came at the perfect time for what I'm going through in my life. Having God bless you with a husband is not achieved by following some complicated formula of enough prayer, enough faith, and enough service. He may never send you a spouse, but what he has already given is better than anything this life has to offer. He may never send the "perfect man" because he already IS the perfect man.

Sometimes, we get caught up in feeling like we deserve to meet "the one." Surely, we've earned it, with all of this good behavior, right? But honestly, we deserve nothing but death for our sins. Yet someone stepped in and saved us. This shining prince looked beyond our ugliness and said he wants us for his bride. He made us beautiful again, and gave himself to us, asking only that we give ourselves to him too.

The goal is not to find a husband, though a spouse would definitely a blessing. The goal is to become even closer to the one who chose us first. Thanks for helping me remember that!
"Patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us..." - Romans 5:4-5a

#3 WanderingWashingtonian

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Posted 09 September 2012 - 11:32 PM

All that being said though, I still really do want to get married!
"Patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us..." - Romans 5:4-5a

#4 rookiepilot1

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 12:21 AM

Agreed, that was a great article!
August Burns Red "Frosty The Snowman":

#5 Invincible

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 02:42 AM

Sally, when I saw the title of the thread, I was worried about you for a second: "Sally doesn't wait anymore? Oh dear!" So glad to see that's not what this post was about!


I thought the same thing too! I was like, "Sally, have you gone insane?" If she didn't wait, then that would mean a certain other person didn't either....anyways I'm glad that wasn't the case :)

Anyways, this article is basically teaching a hard lesson that I have been learning myself. I think church leaders are doing a disservice to both single guys and girls when they insisted on giving cliche advice like "Be content in God first and He will bring you the one you're meant to be with." In fact, it's flat out perverting the main message of Jesus. Advice like that makes God's plan for us seem formulaic, that if we fulfill a certain checklist of things then God will guarantee us a reward. If we pray enough times and read the Bible a lot, then he'll bless us with all our wants. God doesn't work that way. He's not a genie that we can pander to so that we can get whatever we want. He has our His own plan for us and that plan may or may not involve you getting a spouse. It sounds harsh, but the reality is, not all of us will be blessed with a spouse despite us desiring one.

That is why I'm tired of hearing stuff like, "Oh you'll find someone someday" or "God has a special person just for you." Sorry, as nice as those things are to hear, God made no such promise. As WW said, we do not deserve anything for our efforts except death because of our sin, much less a blessing like a spouse. If we have an entitlement mentality then we have it in our minds that God exists to serve us rather than the other way around and we missed the point what Jesus came in the first place. If we could earn God's favor, then there would have been no need for Jesus. But he came to this earth because we couldn't save ourselves. It's been a difficult lesson for me to learn, but I have come to accept the possibility that God may not have a wife in store for me at all. But I trust that He will be enough to satisfy me.

The author was right on the money when she said that Jesus is the reason we follow Him, not so that He can be a means to an end. We as Christians should not be waiting mainly for our future spouses, we ought to be waiting because we want to live a life pleasing to God. When we idealize too much on waiting because for our spouse, we run the risk of making WTM and our future spouse idols that we worship. But we ought to start thinking of God as the source of our needs instead of just a means to it.

There's nothing wrong with desiring a spouse or even praying for one. I pray for a wife all the time, but we should be praying first and foremost for God to reveal His plan for us instead of our own.

"He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor."

 

-Proverbs 21:21


#6 dodgedude

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 07:32 AM

Lol @ some of you ;) Haha still waiters don't worry!

Great article. I usually don't mind the phrase "waiting" or "waiter" but I think sometimes people take that too literally and just wait around to meet "the one". It's as if they think "ok, I'll start living life and enjoying life once I meet someone". But that's not how it works and it's not healthy. Live your life like there's no tomorrow and let the other stuff fall where it may. Don't just sit around wishing and waiting.

And like Vince said..theres no checklist you have to fulfill in order for God to send you a husband or wife...it will happen if it's supposed to there's no magic formula to follow.

#7 Guest_RJ__*

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 10:16 AM

I'm not able to respond how I want to right now, but that blog was incredible and so is the feedback from y'all. I love this group and Sally, you post some of the best links to articles/blogs I love it. I too got nervous that you had given up on waiting haha. Don't do that to us, but you caught our attention. :)

#8 Kailey

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 01:17 PM

This brought back memories of a guy I really wanted to date when I was in HS and going to Youth Group. I totally thought we would have a relationship and in some ways felt like he encouraged my attention just to stroke his ego, b/c I don't think he ever intended to date me at all. I would always try and sit by him so that I could hold his hand during prayer, lol, and he flirted with me a lot. I held on to the hope of a relationship with him for way too long. For some reason, after I got over him, it was like I was able to let go of the obsession to have a relationship/get married, or I was just too busy with college to care. I think maybe God just took that worry from me, I know He will bring that man into my life when the time is right.

"♥I'll be there the moment you come out in white, cause I'm on my way♥" Boyce Avenue

"♥....I wanna be where you are....and I'm willing to get there....tell me you're with me so far....♥" Gavin DeGraw

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#9 Alex992

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 03:55 PM

Thanks Sally so much for this. I feel like God worked through you to get this message out to all of us today. I was actually thinking about this the other day and the article basically put my thoughts together into ways I could not. Reading this was very humbling, and I am slowly becoming more adapt to the idea that I may never marry one day. I constanty remind myself that all I deserve is hell. Anything I get is alot more than what I deserve from God. Whether I really do find my wife or not, I will be satisfied with God's presence in my heart for the rest of my life. Considering what God has done for me in the past, I guess it wont be so bad. I dont know what my future brings, but I know God is already there. My faith in Him is so strong and I believe He will equip me with enough to endure whatever comes my way. Don't get me wrong I still desire to find that special lady one day, but I know now that marriage or anything else can not satisfy me like God's protection and blessing. One love people!

#10 Alex992

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 04:00 PM

This vers helps me plenty with my worries. Especially with waiting and going to away soon to college and falling into a tremendous dept. Whether I find the one or not I will not worry. All you who believe should not either.

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

#11 dodgedude

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 05:07 PM

I love that verse too Alex!

#12 Sally

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 06:13 PM

I didn't mean to scare anyone with the title! That's just what the girl titled her blog :P

WW-I'm glad this cam at a good time for you :)

Vince-OMG! Haha.....I DO agree with you about what you're tired of hearing...I'm tired of hearing that too.

DD- I agree about not having a checklist--some girls get a little carried away with that. (Either about themselves or about the guy they want) Have any of you seen Katherine Heigel in Life as We Know It ?!

RJ-Thanks !! :)

Alex: Glad this was good timing for you as well! I really like the verse you posted; that one in particular helps me out !!

#13 Kendra

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 07:28 PM

(Haha, the title scared me for a second as well!)

I like that one quote that says, "I may not know what the future holds, but I know the one who holds the future."

Thank you for sharing Sally :) That was a great reminder.

#14 Guest_RJ__*

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 08:59 PM

Okay. I wonder now if God is trying to tell me something. Haha when I see articles or hear songs, or see a word too many times in one day... I begin to think He's up to something. I was scrolling through a friend's newsfeed on Facebook and sure enough, she had linked to this article. I told her I had just read it on another site and loved it. It's beautifully written and a wonderful reminder to continue to seek God first, always.

"A lot of girls were sold on a deal and not on a Savior."
Yes. We think "if I just keep waiting, maybe the next guy will be the one!" But it's hardly ever like that in reality. You see... I feel like God withholds so that we'll press further into Him instead of whoever we think we need. What we need is more of Him and less of this world. I do want to get married, I really do... But right now I'm finding myself content just focusing on my relationship with God. I trust that He'll send me a husband when He's ready... But I'm not waiting on it. I'm going to live my life as I've planned to live... Well, I didn't plan to be in recovery from an emergency brain surgery haha... But I'm going to live it and trust Him and His plan for my life. If He doesn't want me to have a husband (which I don't believe that) then I pray for the grace, strength, and spirit to accept that and still live my life for Him. Ya know? That's a hard thought for me to think/accept... But I mean it.

I really loved this blog, Sally. Thank you again for linking us to it. I've been browsing on and off her site all day and it's great. :)





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