Invincible

Chivalry: Appreciated or sexist?

53 posts in this topic

I find it absolutely beautiful. I am *very* attracted to men who do these kinds of things.

 

And there ARE women out there who appreciate your chivalrous and gentlemanly acts. What you focus on expands. Try focusing on (and believing in) ladies who will delight in it. Just envision a smile of thanks:) and see if you can change your reality. (Or move, or just start hanging out at new places in your current town that you didn't visit before! You might get pleasantly surprised that the women who appreciate you... are right there all along.)

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I'm don't demand or expect chivalrous acts, but on the whole, I don't mind them either.  There are two instances, however, where I do mind:

 

1.  I don't like it when men are nice (chivalrous) to women, but are unkind to other men.  No amount of chivalry towards one person will ever make up for unkindness towards someone else. 

 

2.  I've had men offer to do a chivalrous act for me (open a door, etc) and then somewhere down the line I'll do or say something that alerts them of the fact that I'm a feminist, and those same men will immediately tell me that I can't believe in feminism AND allow men to treat me with chivalry.  I could possibly sympathize with their point of view if I had demanded or expected that they perform those chivalrous acts for me... but I didn't (nor would I ever) demand or expect that behavior of them.  I merely accepted it when they offered.  And more often than not, those men are the same ones who get offended when I subsequently politely decline their chivalrous offers.  So I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. 

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Definitely appreciated!!  Especially when I needed help yesterday, I was quite glad that there were chivalrous men around.  

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