Guest Ace

I miss the days when...

36 posts in this topic

I don't mean to be a buzz kill, but I feel like I need to say this. I've read some, not all, some answers and I think they are sounding very judgemental. I myself believe modesty is the way to go as well, but I don't think I'm more or less than anybody. I'm not naming names, because this is not about anyone here, it's the idea in general really. Why judge someone, why not just let them be? That's just my opinion, I'm am not talking about anyone specifically so please don't be offended, this is my view on things in general. I also dislike conflict, and I'm not trying to start anything, only stating my opinion.

I definitely agree with you though, I like more modest ways of dressing too. :)

It's okay. Let me break it down, I don't mean for this to be a bashing thread or anything like that. All I'm saying is I miss the day when women dressed like women, and acted and were treated like women, as well. Like... Let me try this.

Pretend like your body is a billboard. You are displaying what's available for purchase at the shop. Don't be scantily clad and then when a man comes in to "buy" something, you're offended and tell him it's not for release yet. Well, he's going to want to know why, considering you were marketing it. False advertisement.

That's how I see extremely immodest dress. As a Christian, also, I don't even want to tempt the guy to stumble in his walk with Christ because I can't seem to not give him something to lust after. I realize that guys are visual through and through, and they're always going to be able to lust whether I show too much or not... But I make it a lot less difficult if I keep myself covered up. I love fashion, clothing, and trends like I've already said... But there are some articles of clothing I couldn't even wear outside of my own bedroom because I know what it would do, and I'm not even trying to market myself like that. I try to market myself as a lady, so I'll be approached as a lady. Not that I'm "for sale" at all... But one day a man will be interested, and I want him to know upfront what he's getting (and what he's not getting unless he plans on marrying me) so there is no confusion or mind games. I just really can't stand when girls are dressed in hardly anything and complain or want to cry outrage when guys think they're down for a casual hookup, meanwhile she has a heart and wants a solid relationship. I don't see the surprise, there. That might be considered judgmental, but that's not what I'm trying to do at all. I don't care what people wear or do with their lives, but you can't claim one thing in your heart inside, and not portray that on the outside. That's all I'm getting at. It doesn't make me more than someone who chooses to dress in a more showy way... To each her own, and that's not for me. I'm just annoyed that they cry about the way guys approach them when they're basically putting it all out there. I miss the days when ladies acted like ladies and were treated as such. I personally feel like more guys would step up to the plate and be gentlemen if they were taught to respect women and had no choice but to treat a lady as a lady. Not that it's women's faults, some guys are just jerks no matter what, but we need to work together on this. If we want our outside to reflect the purity we hold so dear in our hearts, we've got to dress accordingly, too. That's how I see it.

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It's okay. Let me break it down, I don't mean for this to be a bashing thread or anything like that. All I'm saying is I miss the day when women dressed like women, and acted and were treated like women, as well. Like... Let me try this.

Pretend like your body is a billboard. You are displaying what's available for purchase at the shop. Don't be scantily clad and then when a man comes in to "buy" something, you're offended and tell him it's not for release yet. Well, he's going to want to know why, considering you were marketing it. False advertisement.

That's how I see extremely immodest dress. As a Christian, also, I don't even want to tempt the guy to stumble in his walk with Christ because I can't seem to not give him something to lust after. I realize that guys are visual through and through, and they're always going to be able to lust whether I show too much or not... But I make it a lot less difficult if I keep myself covered up. I love fashion, clothing, and trends like I've already said... But there are some articles of clothing I couldn't even wear outside of my own bedroom because I know what it would do, and I'm not even trying to market myself like that. I try to market myself as a lady, so I'll be approached as a lady. Not that I'm "for sale" at all... But one day a man will be interested, and I want him to know upfront what he's getting (and what he's not getting unless he plans on marrying me) so there is no confusion or mind games. I just really can't stand when girls are dressed in hardly anything and complain or want to cry outrage when guys think they're down for a casual hookup, meanwhile she has a heart and wants a solid relationship. I don't see the surprise, there. That might be considered judgmental, but that's not what I'm trying to do at all. I don't care what people wear or do with their lives, but you can't claim one thing in your heart inside, and not portray that on the outside. That's all I'm getting at. It doesn't make me more than someone who chooses to dress in a more showy way... To each her own, and that's not for me. I'm just annoyed that they cry about the way guys approach them when they're basically putting it all out there. I miss the days when ladies acted like ladies and were treated as such. I personally feel like more guys would step up to the plate and be gentlemen if they were taught to respect women and had no choice but to treat a lady as a lady. Not that it's women's faults, some guys are just jerks no matter what, but we need to work together on this. If we want our outside to reflect the purity we hold so dear in our hearts, we've got to dress accordingly, too. That's how I see it.

Oh, I understand now. Perhaps there was a bit of a misunderstanding in some way. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend/upset you, I wasn't trying to say you're judgemental at all. I see what you're saying and believe me, I agree with you. I also love fashion and dress modestly, I'm thinking of what you're saying and it is sinking in. I now realize what type of clothing exactly you were talking about, I don't like those kinds either lol. Your post reminded me of the girls in my school and some girls I see when I go out. I agreed with you to begin with, but I do even more now. Thanks for your reply, and for being so nice :) ♥

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Ok my loves let me see if I can add to the convo!

Developing pretty voluptuously at a very young age, I grew into hating my body for the curves that I had. All the unwanted attention I would receive from older men started this type of self-hate in me. I started wearing the baggiest shirts,sweaters, pants anything that would hide my natural curves because I was utterly humiliated. I had the body of a woman but the age of a child. So now that I am older I celebrate and embrace my body and curves. I have adapted a whole new perspective on who I am internally.

I don't think women should be limited by what they wear just because some men, like the ones i have come across, choose to act in a certain way. Rather then, believing women should know and expect men to react in this manner, we instead, need to adapt a higher expectation and have zero tolerance for it. Some men feel as though their irresponsibility's ( i.e. cat calling, groping, or something as serious as rape) were provoked. I personally don't agree with that, nothing gives anyone the right to infringe on another persons personal freedoms, period.

Its wrong to judge a book by its cover, so eqauting someones self respect by how they personally decide to dress is unfair. People are judged on first impressions and first impressions are based, in large, on appearance I get it..but i don't agree with it. It is not my place to judge or dictate what anyone else "should" do. It's none of my business until it infriges on my rights; how another woman chooses to dress doesn't fall in that category<3

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Its wrong to judge a book by its cover, so eqauting someones self respect by how they personally decide to dress is unfair. People are judged on first impressions and first impressions are based, in large, on appearance I get it..but i don't agree with it. It is not my place to judge or dictate what anyone else "should" do. It's none of my business until it infriges on my rights; how another woman chooses to dress doesn't fall in that category<3

I do agree with this sentiment, but I still get sad when I see young girls dressed with everything on display, falling around drunk in a desperate bid to get a guy's (any guy's attention). The problem probably isn't so much the clothes but the general attitude with which this generation's females has been brought up to value themselves solely on their beauty which is validated by "pulling power".

My gripe with the fashion industry is that there are so many nice clothing trends out there that I don't feel comfortable wearing because they skimped on fabric in either the leg or chest department or both. I do find it seriously limiting, I love fashion, I love clothes, I love form-fitting clothes but I don't want to flaunt my body and therefore I find myself wandering around shops admiring colours and cuts but ultimately being unable to buy 90% of the clothes I want :(

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Oh, I understand now. Perhaps there was a bit of a misunderstanding in some way. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend/upset you, I wasn't trying to say you're judgemental at all. I see what you're saying and believe me, I agree with you. I also love fashion and dress modestly, I'm thinking of what you're saying and it is sinking in. I now realize what type of clothing exactly you were talking about, I don't like those kinds either lol. Your post reminded me of the girls in my school and some girls I see when I go out. I agreed with you to begin with, but I do even more now. Thanks for your reply, and for being so nice :) ♥

It's okay. You didn't upset or offend me. I thought I might have come off as something I wasn't trying to... So I had to try and break it down a bit. Haha you're welcome, too. No arguments required. Everyone is entitled to what they wish to think... You can't argue over opinions... No one ever wins. :)

I do agree with this sentiment, but I still get sad when I see young girls dressed with everything on display, falling around drunk in a desperate bid to get a guy's (any guy's attention). The problem probably isn't so much the clothes but the general attitude with which this generation's females has been brought up to value themselves solely on their beauty which is validated by "pulling power".

My gripe with the fashion industry is that there are so many nice clothing trends out there that I don't feel comfortable wearing because they skimped on fabric in either the leg or chest department or both. I do find it seriously limiting, I love fashion, I love clothes, I love form-fitting clothes but I don't want to flaunt my body and therefore I find myself wandering around shops admiring colours and cuts but ultimately being unable to buy 90% of the clothes I want :(

Once again, you've said it all. Hahahah. Yes, yes, yes!

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Ok my loves let me see if I can add to the convo!

Developing pretty voluptuously at a very young age, I grew into hating my body for the curves that I had. All the unwanted attention I would receive from older men started this type of self-hate in me. I started wearing the baggiest shirts,sweaters, pants anything that would hide my natural curves because I was utterly humiliated. I had the body of a woman but the age of a child. So now that I am older I celebrate and embrace my body and curves. I have adapted a whole new perspective on who I am internally.

I don't think women should be limited by what they wear just because some men, like the ones i have come across, choose to act in a certain way. Rather then, believing women should know and expect men to react in this manner, we instead, need to adapt a higher expectation and have zero tolerance for it. Some men feel as though their irresponsibility's ( i.e. cat calling, groping, or something as serious as rape) were provoked. I personally don't agree with that, nothing gives anyone the right to infringe on another persons personal freedoms, period.

Its wrong to judge a book by its cover, so eqauting someones self respect by how they personally decide to dress is unfair. People are judged on first impressions and first impressions are based, in large, on appearance I get it..but i don't agree with it. It is not my place to judge or dictate what anyone else "should" do. It's none of my business until it infriges on my rights; how another woman chooses to dress doesn't fall in that category<3

I understand what you're saying. I too grew larger in the chest department at a young age. I was embarrassed by it, and obviously I can't control it. What, was I going to get a breast reduction at 12? Highly doubtful. Since I've grown taller (not by much haha I'm shoooort) things have evened out a bit... But I'm still a little "top heavy" because my frame is so petite. That's fine. I do try to stay covered up, though. I know it's wrong to judge a book by its cover, but how can I see a woman dressed in very little, and then watch her behavior (which is how I base how I feel about people, anyway) seeing how recklessly she's treating herself, and not reach some conclusion that she doesn't respect herself? If you don't respect you, no one else will either. Period. I'm not trying to judge anyone, point fingers at anyone's dress, or condemn anyone. I'm just saying I miss the days when women dressed like the ladies they wished to be treated as. Really, that's it. I guess because the way I dress reflects my personality, I think that translates to other girls as well. It very well may not. Haha, I am kind of unique after all. The clothing choices of other women hardly have anything to do with me... But I don't even love being seen with my friends when they're revealing a lot of skin and guys approach our group. I'm not marketing anything, because nothing is for sale. Hahah. I also don't think a guy's lack of self control should dictate how we dress, but if we really are striving to be pure... We should be pure in every way. The first thing (usually) someone does when they have sex is get naked. Why be halfway there if you're not willing to go halfway there? I just think that's how guys think, and they'll treat you as such. It's happened to me a few times when I'm in my beach outfit or something just my bathing suit and a long tee shirt... Or when I've worn a shirt that's a tad too low... They just respond differently to me, and I don't want that. So I dress like I don't want that, but still look cute (I hope) and fashionable.

I hope y'all understand I'm not trying to be mean or judgmental. If I'm giving off that vibe, I apologize. I can see how this can easily be misconstrued and that is not my intention at all. I just miss the days when women dressed like the women they wanted to be seen/treated as. Just as much as I miss the days men dressed like men. Excuse me, pull your pants up onto your hips! You look like an idiot with your pants halfway down to your knees. Ughhhh. Can't even stand it. Haha.

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@ RJ "Shoooort" well that's a very long short lol

@vince well at least they wouldn't have to worry if it rained :P

Just a question but all the girls on here seem to like the fashion but not the cuts so why don't you learn to make your own because I know you can get the templates for clothes from fabric/sewing shops as I was in one last week getting the stuff to repair one of my camping backpacks and they had loads of templates for clothes in there too

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Just a question but all the girls on here seem to like the fashion but not the cuts so why don't you learn to make your own because I know you can get the templates for clothes from fabric/sewing shops as I was in one last week getting the stuff to repair one of my camping backpacks and they had loads of templates for clothes in there too

My wardrobe requirements are extensive, I'd want a lot of time on my hands if I were to manufacture it by myself :D

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@ MM and RJ

Hey my girls!! I didn't factor in behavior at all! I was solely thinking about the way someone dresses and, while forgetting, how some women may act along with their dressing preferences. In that case, I do think that their behavior subjects them to more chances of, possible, mistreatment. And that you can't get around. Not all people that come across our paths are good people, and thats so disheartening to say, but its the truth none the less. But I'm still torn...I still feel like to each their own. Not everyone is pure or choosing to save themeselves so their whole view on sexuality, and code of conduct, can be completely different then our own. You know?

And @RJ I am shoooort too girly..5'1 to be exact lol!!

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