Candyhall

'Losing' your virginity?

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This may seem petty, but does it bother anyone else when it's called "losing" your virginity? What happened? Did you misplace it or something? I always think of virginity as a gift that you give, not something you lose.

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I agree. When you WTM, you don't lose anything. It's the most personal, most thought-felt gift you can give to your future spouse. It is a gift that you and no-one else can give them. It is special, so you never "Lose" anything. On something like this, if we wanted to so-called "Lose it", most of us would've done so already. We are WTM to give it, not lose it.

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It's more "when did you lose it" when you're likely to have a series of partners, I think. It's usually thought of as a sign of inexperience, naiveté, lack of sophistication, and something that you want to distance yourself from. At least, thats the gist of the conversations that I've been a part of when a group of girls discuss first time stories. When you think about it in those terms, it makes sense that those who don't wait would use the term "losing" in reference to their virginity.

Now when you're talking about it with 2 people who are devoted to each other, then it signals a beginning of something wonderful rather than getting rid of something. Like LonelyKnight mentioned, more giving than losing!

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This may sound really weird for someone on a WTM site to say, but I don't view virginity as a "gift" or something "special." EVERYONE is a virgin at some point in their lives, usually until their teen years. Virginity is something you're born with, like skin, bones, a heart. But no one treasures their bones, or tongue, or fingernails.To me, I won't be "losing" anything or "giving" anything or "sharing." To me, I will be just having sex for the first time. I actually hate the word "virgin" because it is only applied to those thirteen and up. It's an incredibly ageist word, and I hate it for that. It's my body I value, not my virginity.

But I know, from a religious point of view, virginity is considered very important and is supposed to be saved for marriage. Which I can totally respect (obviously) and understand.

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Well, funnily enough...

http://forums.waitin...your-virginity/

Great minds, huh? :P

xxx

Haha, that is funny. Guess I should have gone back to make sure this had never been a topic of discussion before. In my defense, I am pretty new to this site. Glad we're on the same page, Julie :)

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Sophie, I see your point, and yet, society values a first kiss among many other "firsts." You only ever have one, and you can only ever give it away once in all of eternity. It's the bell you can't unring, the sight you can't unsee. So while no one person is special for having virginity, experiencing the first time you give it to someone is what makes it special....and the promise to yourself (your future spouse, God, etc.) not to do so callously is what makes a person even more special...and what draws them here to WTM. :)

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Sophie, I see your point, and yet, society values a first kiss among many other "firsts."

I know. :) Which is why, at 19, I am still waiting for my first kiss! I definitely have to be in love for that, too.

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This may sound really weird for someone on a WTM site to say, but I don't view virginity as a "gift" or something "special." EVERYONE is a virgin at some point in their lives, usually until their teen years. Virginity is something you're born with, like skin, bones, a heart. But no one treasures their bones, or tongue, or fingernails.

Jees I sure value my skin, bones, tongue, heart etc!! I wouldnt like to lose any of them!!! and I always get sad when I break a nail!! ;)

I disagree with you when you say virginity isnt something special. It's as special as you make it. If you throw it away on the first Tom, Dick or Harry who comes your way, then no it probably isnt special. But if you're saving the act of sex for someone who you love and are committed to then your virginity is very special. It's a symbol of your commitment not only to your future spouse but also to yourself. It represents your own self-respect and self-worth.

I sure wont be "losing" my virginity....I reserve the right to keep it and bestow it along with my hand and heart.

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I sure wont be "losing" my virginity....I reserve the right to keep it and bestow it along with my hand and heart.

exactly what I would have said

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This may sound really weird for someone on a WTM site to say, but I don't view virginity as a "gift" or something "special." EVERYONE is a virgin at some point in their lives, usually until their teen years. Virginity is something you're born with, like skin, bones, a heart. But no one treasures their bones, or tongue, or fingernails.To me, I won't be "losing" anything or "giving" anything or "sharing." To me, I will be just having sex for the first time. I actually hate the word "virgin" because it is only applied to those thirteen and up. It's an incredibly ageist word, and I hate it for that. It's my body I value, not my virginity.

But I know, from a religious point of view, virginity is considered very important and is supposed to be saved for marriage. Which I can totally respect (obviously) and understand.

Sophie, I understand where you're coming from. And in a way, I can almost agree with you. I'm not special because I'm a virgin. You're right. We've all been virgins at some point in our lives. What makes virginity special is who you decide to share it with and why. It's a huge thing to make love for the first time. You will never have sex for the first time again. Once it's done, it's done. There's a reason why "you never forget your first". You're not supposed to. Most parents spend the entire first year of their child's life documenting firsts. First tooth, first word, first step, and so on. Just because everyone else has a 'first' doesn't mean mine won't be special. Even if it's only special to me, my husband, and God.

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This may seem petty, but does it bother anyone else when it's called "losing" your virginity? What happened? Did you misplace it or something? I always think of virginity as a gift that you give, not something you lose.

THIS. Yes. I didn't lose it! What the whaaat? "Um, hey... Can you press the find button for my virginity? I seem to have lost it!" "Babe, can you help my find my virginity? I've been looking for it for hours and I can't find it anywhere!" "Oh, if only I knew where I left my virginity... What. Did. I. Do. With. It?" Hahahah. Yeah, that's crazy. It's a gift, and it is given... Not lost. Or it is shared, and not lost. People irk me with that "You still haven't lost your 'v-card?'" What is a v-card? What is the interest rate on that? What are the penalties for late fees? Is this card accepted nationally? Hahah. STOP. IT. I'm just sitting here laughing and shaking my head. Siiigh.

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