Sally

Christianity and Erotica

9 posts in this topic

I completely agree with this article. Sexual media has no place in a Christian marriage, period. God didn't leave behind the Kama Sutra laying around just in case Adam and Eve got bored of sex. No, if you feel like your marriage needs have that stuff to save your sex life, that points to a bigger problem in the marriage. The author was right on the money when she said that churches and parents have failed in their job to talk about sex in a biblical and realistic way. All they've done is tell us not to do it. So when we get our ideas of sex from society and the media, we already have an unrealistic view on sex before we even have it. No wonder so many couples get frustrated and annoyed their first time because it didn't turn out like they saw in the movies. Furthermore, society has deemed sex as selfish and making it all about what the other person can do for me. This is the opposite of what the Bible teaches us. A husband and wife are commanded to love and serve one another and in sex it should be no different. We have a duty to be selfless and tend to our spouse's sexual needs. If we're not doing that and there is no communication, it inevitably leads to sexual frustration.

I've struggled with porn in the past and I know firsthand how damaging it can be. For a time, it has affected my expectations on everything from how sex should be like and how a woman should look. All those expectations were selfish. That's why I took drastic measures to cut off porn from my life. I didn't want to invite outside baggage in my future marriage. I hate how Christians rationalize sexual media by saying it's okay as long as both genders are objectified equally. To me, that's like saying it's okay to sleep with another person as long as your spouse is allowed to as well. Not only does sexual media invite lust which is a sin, it is idolatry because we are trying to reach a standard that is unbiblical. A marriage built around Christ, love and serving one another should be enough to have a fulfilling sex life.

What the church and parents need to do is take responsibility and open discussion about sex and marriage. Parents should teach their kids about sex at an early enough age so they are informed of the facts and the risks. Churches should not remain silent on sex and promote biblical marriage.

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I agree that the Church/parents/educators need to take a more open and involved attitude towards discussing sex with teens (and pre-teens now since I am hearing a lot more about 8,9,10 year old kids being exposed to porn). Like the article and EB too rightly pointed out society/the media is informing most people's opinions and expectations about sex. But like the models who are airbrushed sex in the media is idealised to sell us products.

I sometimes get frustrated at Church when I hear some priests giving sermons about lofty doctrine that doesnt really give the congregation some food for thought that can be applied in their every-day lives. There is one priest in a Church I go to who gives really good sermons about being a Christian in relevant day-to-day scenarios. He is very good at relating the message of Christ to topical issues such as unemployment, raising kids, ethics in the workplace, relationships etc. The one thing he doesnt talk about is sex (which I suppose is understandable given that there are kids in the congregation). But I suppose the Church is lacking a forum through which to communicate with the ordinary lay person about relevant and practical topics about sex and thereby present people with a more healthy attitude and expectations surrounding sex. It sometimes feels like the Church tells us everything that we shouldnt do with regard to sex but remains silent on what we should do. That to me doesn't speak of great guidance.

As for the whole erotica thing....I totaly 100% disagree with porn. The whole 50 shades of grey thing doesnt really appeal to me, I dont think I'd be interested in reading about a couple inflicting pain on each other.

On the other hand, if I were to take a point blank no-erotica stance I probably wouldnt be able to watch a lot of movies or read a lot of novels. I dont think you can filter it out completely but I do think there is a line. I dont think we should try to blank sex in our society I do think we should acknowledge it (but maybe in a more respectful manner). I think if we put a sex-embargo in place you'll probably end up with a lot of ignorance on the topic and if people are ill informed they can make wrong choices.

I dont really see anything wrong with a brief sex scene in a movie or in a normal novel (as long as it's not too graphic). And I dont see anything wrong with magazines or books providing people with tips and advice regarding their sex lives because some people genuinely want that type of advice.

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Well, I myself actually read a lot of sexual media...Theology of the Body, Humanae Vitae, Song of Solomon, and this wonderful book which I'd really recommend to all the Catholics out here, "Good News About Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West.

Seriously, though, I literally hate 50 Shades of Grey. All I know about that book is that it features a man who enjoys beating a woman into submission. How anyone thinks that's reflective of a loving relationship is beyond me...

The idea that people need to look at porn, or read porn (50 Shades of Grey is basically emotional porn) to "spice up" their sex lives...well, it just shows that if their sex lives got better, it's not because they understand each other more, it's just that they're excited by the idea of having sex with someone else.

Better idea: Christians learn about how to have sex as God designed it, and how to love as He loves. And I'm pretty sure that'll make for a better marriage.

xxx

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I only know one thing, every time I have read/seen anything close to erotica i feel filthy!!!!

This tells me something about it is wrong.

However I am open to experimenting things with my hubby and would love to learn from christian sites dedicated to married couples such as www.themarriagebed.com as long as what we do brings us closer and none of us feels violated.

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I hate how Christians rationalize sexual media by saying it's okay as long as both genders are objectified equally. To me, that's like saying it's okay to sleep with another person as long as your spouse is allowed to as well. Not only does sexual media invite lust which is a sin, it is idolatry because we are trying to reach a standard that is unbiblical. A marriage built around Christ, love and serving one another should be enough to have a fulfilling sex life.

What the church and parents need to do is take responsibility and open discussion about sex and marriage. Parents should teach their kids about sex at an early enough age so they are informed of the facts and the risks. Churches should not remain silent on sex and promote biblical marriage.

Agree 100% :)

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I agree that the Church/parents/educators need to take a more open and involved attitude towards discussing sex with teens (and pre-teens now since I am hearing a lot more about 8,9,10 year old kids being exposed to porn). Like the article and EB too rightly pointed out society/the media is informing most people's opinions and expectations about sex. But like the models who are airbrushed sex in the media is idealised to sell us products.

I dont really see anything wrong with a brief sex scene in a movie or in a normal novel (as long as it's not too graphic). And I dont see anything wrong with magazines or books providing people with tips and advice regarding their sex lives because some people genuinely want that type of advice.

I agree about novels or movies. Like in Nicholas Sparks books, he says that the characters made love for the first time but not a graphic description. I think that's fine because it's not creating a vivd mental image.

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I agree with what everyone has said so far. Using porn or other "erotica" during a marriage (or any time for that matter) is just not right...especially for a Christian! (And im talking porn, 50 shades of grey stuff here...not normal romance novels or movies with a few sex scenes) It is LUSTING after instant sexual gratification which is not healthy for your mind, your soul, your emotional well-being, your relationship, etc etc! How any Christian can try to justify this is honestly beyond me.

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On the other hand, if I were to take a point blank no-erotica stance I probably wouldnt be able to watch a lot of movies or read a lot of novels. I dont think you can filter it out completely but I do think there is a line. I dont think we should try to blank sex in our society I do think we should acknowledge it (but maybe in a more respectful manner). I think if we put a sex-embargo in place you'll probably end up with a lot of ignorance on the topic and if people are ill informed they can make wrong choices.

I dont really see anything wrong with a brief sex scene in a movie or in a normal novel (as long as it's not too graphic). And I dont see anything wrong with magazines or books providing people with tips and advice regarding their sex lives because some people genuinely want that type of advice.

I agree about novels or movies. Like in Nicholas Sparks books, he says that the characters made love for the first time but not a graphic description. I think that's fine because it's not creating a vivd mental image.

There is a clear distinction between sexual media and normal media and that difference is it's purpose. The sole purpose of sexual media is to arouse sexual feelings whereas normal media is, for the most part, for leisure and entertainment. Normal media may have sexual elements in it but usually it's for plot development (or a marketing tool) and not for sexual purposes. I think it's fine to enjoy these forms of entertainment and like MM said, it keeps us from being totally ignorant of what's in this world.

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