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FlowerBee

'Coming out' as a waiter

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Well from the culture/background that I grew up in, waiting till marriage is the norm and not the rarity. So, all my family and friends assume that this is what I do, so I had no need to tell anyone. But, don't let others deviate you from your goal. It can be quite hard at times, but just remember it's what you want most of all.

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Hey Bee,

when I told my family separately (mostly in casual conversation), they all had one thing in common. For lack of a better word, it was doubt. They all doubted me. It was all just one big laugh

I am really sorry for the way your family has responded to such an awesome decision! Trust me one requires nerves of steel when it comes to what we are doing! There are temptations all around us & we are fighting those every moment of our live just for the sake of our ideologies! It is something that you family should be proud about but the fact, that they choose to mock you instead… really makes me upset! :( Well, I can only say if I were in your shoes I would have considered it yet another obstacle & would have chosen to ignore it completely. After all it is your life… what you decide today, will affect YOUR tomorrow! So, continue to stay true to yourself… & one day you will have a relationship so very special… which the all others, who are mocking you now, won’t be able to have even in the next million years! :)

because what, my age? They think, 'oh, you little girl, you'll soon give it up... don't lie to yourself'. Yeah, that's basically what they're thinking, aren't they? Why else would some of them laugh at it right in my face?

Well as far as their thinking is concerned, I just hate to speculate & I will just not let such things bother me as a WAITER! Pondering over such things is just a waste of time! :angry:

The same thing happened when I told them I wouldn't drink... *sighs* I told them that years ago and guess what? I still haven't. Seems like someone keeps true to her word...

Wow! Same here Bee! :) It always feels good to meet people like you! I too abstain from drinking & smoking totally… let alone Drugs! Lol. I have been this way since childhood… Never ever have I touched any of them yet & I will continue to do it for the rest of my life! Though this decision was for reasons, other than WTM, like living a healthy life, focusing on academics, etc. yet I agree, this decision affects every walk of life! I am glad that I took it right on time. I think Jegs too… is a non-drinker/smoker. Kudos to you two & all other who does practice the same! :)

I do have one very close friend who is also waiting, but she's a little bit younger than me. Her decision could change. It's still nice to know that I have someone close to talk about it with, though. We both have someone to rant certain things to!

I too have three guy friends (21, 21, and 28) & two cousin sisters (20, 18) who are WTM! I know exactly what you mean Bee… It feels great to be with them & I kinda feel less lonely! So, I too am blessed that way! :)

What about you guys? Have you 'come out' to your friends or family? How have they taken it? With a grain of salt? Or with any seriousness at all?

Well Bee, I am really fortunate that way too… my parents were WAITERS too! :) So, though we don’t really talk about it a lot, they make every endeavor to support my decision. They respect my ideologies & really want that I stick to my vow! :)

I will include & elaborate all these, so that you people can get a better idea about how abstinence is viewed in India, in the Article that I am writing! I bet you will find it quite different than what you think it would be! Hope you will find it interesting & useful! :)

BYE!

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Hey guys!

Actually, I could use your advice on this. My friends know, and my mum knows, but I still haven't worked out how to tell my dad, or the rest of my family (aunts and uncles and whatnot).

No one else in my family to my knowledge has waited or intends to wait. So I'm not really sure how to tell them all (or if I need to tell them at all). My dad and I...it's not that we're not close, it's more that I always talk to my mum about stuff like that, and my dad and I don't really talk about things like that.

Anyhow, can anyone give me some advice?

xxx

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Jegsy,

I don't think you need to tell the rest of your family. Most of my family doesn't know; or I don't think so. It's just not something I need to make sure I inform them of, you know? If it comes up in conversation about relationships nd such, you can tell it, but no need to go out of your way. And same goes for friends---I only tell close friends, not everyone I know. I bond with some girls since we have that is common, but I just see how it goes with different people.

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when i told my mum, it went a bit differently i said "mum can i have a purity ring" then we had and hour long argument which led to "no!" and then she said that if i was a virgin on my weeding day she would object, and then she told me she wouldn't come to my weeding she rarely hates the fact im wtm i think its because she lost IT at 17 to the wrong guy and regrets it, so why shouldn't i do the same thing sort of, when ever the subject comes up she just shouts and screams so we don't talk about it, and we try not to talk about religion ether that ends in an argument to because apparently im a catholic freak, my friends know and there excepting my cu-son knows and he is excepting my school knows and there not lol but my mum is the only one out of my family except for my cu-son i told, and with the reaction i got i wont be telling any more of them, you don't need to go through that twice (i did get the ring tho i saved up and i hide it lol)

but yes i get where your coming from she laugd'd at me from time to time it can be hurtful

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I get mixed reviews. Most of my female friends tell me that wished they would do what I do and waited. Guys look at me like it's the most evil thing in the whole a girl could do. I've been a prude because I won't do anything sexual and then a tease because I'll make out but, nothing further.

I'm a proud waiter regardless of what anyone says or thinks

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when i told my mum, it went a bit differently i said "mum can i have a purity ring" then we had and hour long argument which led to "no!" and then she said that if i was a virgin on my weeding day she would object, and then she told me she wouldn't come to my weeding she rarely hates the fact im wtm i think its because she lost IT at 17 to the wrong guy and regrets it, so why shouldn't i do the same thing sort of, when ever the subject comes up she just shouts and screams so we don't talk about it, and we try not to talk about religion ether that ends in an argument to because apparently im a catholic freak, my friends know and there excepting my cu-son knows and he is excepting my school knows and there not lol but my mum is the only one out of my family except for my cu-son i told, and with the reaction i got i wont be telling any more of them, you don't need to go through that twice (i did get the ring tho i saved up and i hide it lol)

but yes i get where your coming from she laugd'd at me from time to time it can be hurtful

Wow! I can't believe there are actually mothers who would REFUSE their daughter a purity ring and would actually get ANGRY that her daughter wants to wait! It's like the whole system of the world has gone upside-down and having sex before marriage is like something mandatory like going to school. Keep up the good work, headgirl! Don't worry about what they say :) !

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I went throw the same thing with my mom i only told her because she asked but she didn't take me seriously and laughed at me then went on about it not being all that of agood a choice. but whatever. we will show them wont we? :) and we defiantly have made the right choice :D if you need more incurigment read the articles on this site http://waitingtillmarriage.org/the-top-10-awesome-benefits-of-waiting-until-marriage/ and http://waitingtillmarriage.org/top-5-objections-to-waiting-till-marriage-and-how-to-overcome-them/

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I think people get mad at us who do wait because they know in the back of their minds that they wish they would have waited and so I think it's an envy thing because we don't give into pressure no matter what anyone says or does

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I haven't yet come out as a waiter to anyone, I've just mentioned the idea to one of my close friends from school. I don't really want to come out with it, as I just don't feel comfortable talking about anything to with sex in general (especially with my family lol). I want to buy a purity ring though so that'll probably bring the rabbit out of the hat - though I could just tell people it's a ring if I feel embarrassed. I don't really want it out in the open (secondary school is hell for things like that). I'd love to get hold of a purity ring before my 16th birthday (except there's only about a month to go) so I can start wearing it when I'm 16, I just don't know where to buy one :P

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I got zero support from my parents about WTM, so I am never talking with them about it ever again. I don't know what their problem is. Anyways, I don't plan on telling anyone I am WTM unless they are my boyfriend. Because even my friends found the topic to be weird and uncomfortable. My friends. Although I still haven't made up my mind 100% about WTM. My mom never even said "I'm proud of you" when I told her I would never sleep with a guy I didn't genuinely love and who didn't genuinely love me. And that wasn't even WTM. No more "coming out" for me.

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I have not revealed to anyone my decision to wait until marriage, but I know my family wouldn't/doesn't like me "waiting".

Like Sophie, I won't "come out", except to a significant other.

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Sophi (and all others who's parents mocked you instead of saying the appropriate thing) allow me to say this as a father hoping I get to say this to my children some day.

I am proud of you! There will be rough times ahead and people will mock you but you take the hard road and if you ever need someone to talk to about it I will be right here.

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Sophi (and all others who's parents mocked you instead of saying the appropriate thing) allow me to say this as a father hoping I get to say this to my children some day.

I am proud of you! There will be rough times ahead and people will mock you but you take the hard road and if you ever need someone to talk to about it I will be right here.

ditto. :)

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Sophi (and all others who's parents mocked you instead of saying the appropriate thing) allow me to say this as a father hoping I get to say this to my children some day.

I am proud of you! There will be rough times ahead and people will mock you but you take the hard road and if you ever need someone to talk to about it I will be right here.

Thank you. I hope I get to meet people who will support me like this website has, instead of giving me uncomfortable looks and muttering "well, whatever works for you."

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I never told my Dad I'm WTM although I did mention it to my Mom, so he probably knows. :P My Mom doesn't really believe I (or most people) would wait because at the end of high school I had been dating a guy for a few months and she was like "You two seem to be pretty serious...." and I was like "yeah.....? What are you trying to say?" And she proceeded to tell me that if I needed to I should get on the pill because she doesn't want m to screw up my life by getting pregnant before being married and whatnot. I was just like MOM!!!! Oh my gosh!

My sister knows I wanna wait, but she hasn't. I try not to be too judgmental and make it a personal decision because I still want her to talk to me and tell me things....

I'm sorry to those of you who have had bad reactions; at least my Mom was just trying to be her typical overprepared self :P

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I've told my mom but not my dad....but I believe (like Sally's situation) that she's probably told my dad. My dad and I just don't typically talk about that stuff. Anyway, this wasn't all that long ago actually. When I told her she was like "Aw you're like Tim Tebow!" Hahaha I couldn't help but die laughing...it was a cool moment. She's all for it; thinks it awesome that I am, etc. She was surprised though...and proceeded to question a couple of my previous relationships...I was like "mom! you know me better than that!!" She was like yeah I know but I didn't think anyone waited anymore! We talked about it for like an hour after I told her it was pretty cool

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